Regardless of whether or not you agree with him that Beezus and Ramona was better than Inception, I think we’re all on the same page that this kid is terrifying.

Comments (64)
  1. “You should see it in theaters, if you want.”

    Cool review. Very insightful.


  2. Your reviews are tacky and I hate them

  3. My head hurts.

  4. Hahaha I’m never having children.

  5. There is no way Gilbert Gottfried is not this kid’s father.

  6. Ya burnt, Ellen Page’s character!

  7. Does that kid have a band-aid over a hickey on his neck?

  8. Jackson should lay off the Coke(a-Cola).

  9. Never mind the creepy kid, the man with the nice hair characterized Salt as “highly anticipated.”

    No.

  10. I hate children.

  11. Also, I love it (do not love it) when people deride a movie for being too confusing when in fact they’re just too stupid (THAT’S RIGHT I CALLED AN 11-YEAR-OLD STUPID).

  12. It got really uncomfortable when the news anchor asked if he had a crush on Angelina.

    • He turned that around so fast. “Uh uhh…great actor, yeah, definitely. Right. I’ve seen her movies.”

    • Seriously, that had to be the anchor trying to decide, “Tomorrow, should I walk through the production office shooting everyone who put me up to this, or just skip right to the suicide part,” and then getting reckless: “F it. This little dork is so way totally gay — I’m calling him on it.” So he asked about the crush. But kid knows what just happened and he’s not playing. Oh there’ll be no facade here, Mr 10 Lbs of Makeup. I am what I am, and what I am is not crushing on that. (Though I do admire her glamor and respect her adoring fans).

  13. Wow. This is legitimately frightening. How do you convince a kid to talk like this? Has he been taking lessons with Al Roker since pre-school? If he doesn’t get a job as a news anchor on a morning show when he’s older, I don’t know that he is really fit for anything else. And by ‘anything else’ I of course mean ‘jobs that require you to interact with human beings and be something of a non-total-nightmare human being yourself’.

    • Some kids really do this. They are obnoxious kids who raise their hands all the time in class, convinced they know the answers; they dominate all conversations; on Monday mornings, they do impressions of the BIG LOUD comedians in movies their parents shouldn’t have taken them to see over the weekend (too young!) and when they get a laugh, they repeat those impressions ad nauseam, really drive them into the ground.

      A lot of the time they grow up to be drama kids in high school, still refusing to learn how to properly interact with humans. Always “on,” always too loud, always making you cringe when you’re around them. Crushing your quiet dreams of acting because if these are the people you have to be around, no way are you pursuing it.

      • yeah, stupid kids. I’ve always said that the future of humanity would be much more promising if everyone just stopped having children all together.

      • All playing drinking games consisting entirely of shout-singing obscure musicals, ALL NIGHT. All getting way wasted and spilling butterscotch schnapps (?!?!) all over my kitchen counter and then hogging the bathroom weeping because Wicked: The Musical was so BEAUTIFUL and they’ll never be that taaaaallllenttteedddd, waaaaahahahaha.

        I lived with three theater majors my senior year of college. It was a nightmare. It isn’t the art form I object to, but just 99% of the people who pursue it.

    • I feel like this kid could grow up and be loud enough to be the first permanent male host of The View.

  14. Is it entertaining because he sounds like an adult or because he repeats lines from movie posters?

  15. Damn he is irritating. More evidence of “kids these days,” am I right?

  16. If we cut off his hands and feet now, we may be able to stop him. In a couple of years though, it’ll be hopeless.

  17. He sure sold me on the fact that Beezus and Ramona is both “G-rated” and “family-friendly”. No denying those facts.

  18. the kid is terrifying, but what a GREAT cliff notes joke hahahahah

  19. He totally reminds me of this kid:

    video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzouzhXSRzY

    they could have a show on TLC together, with another tween that does financial planning or something.

  20. True confession: When I was 12, my aunt, who thinks the world of me, became convinced, because I liked to read, that I should have my own TV show, whereon I would review books. She picked out a wardrobe (a tweed jacket and tie) and told me I could borrow her wing chair and fireplace for the shoot, and that I should read one book a week and put my reviews on cable access. Luckily, I was horrified. She persisted; there were so many reasons why it was a great idea and why I deserved a show and how it might lead to a career (“because someone at PBS or even a network might see it. That’s how these things happen”). And I continued to resist, and would leave the room if it looked like it was even going to get mentioned, so nothing was ever rehearsed or filmed, and eventually she just took to sulking over all the potential I was squandering. Finally, the issue disappeared. But to this day, once in a while, when I give my assy opinion on a book or a movie or politics or something, I flash on an image of myself age 12, bundled in tweed, doinked into a wing chair in front of a fire, very earnestly telling people about Red Badge of Courage while looking straight at the video camera, and I hate myself.

  21. Found him! Totally found the problem here….

  22. Between this and T. Mills is Gabe trying to subliminally argue for a Children of Men world with no one under the age of 18? Is so, he is doing a very effective job.

  23. I loved this exchange: Chris Wragge: “I’m 40.” Lights, Camera, Jackson: “Hahahahahahahaha.”

  24. Jackson’s parents, you are failing your child. Take him away from the cameras before he is completely ruined.

    • It says something important about you if you can watch this entire thing. I don’t know what exactly.
      I got to the end of the inception bit. I had a walk around and am mostly okay.

  25. it’s not so much “what’s wrong with this kid?”, it’s more along the lines of “how many things are wrong with this kid?”

  26. Looks like this kid went to the Rush Limbaugh School of How-to-talk-like-an-asshole.

  27. This is so ironic that this was posted on my son’s 16th birthday. There is hope for some people who become parents, I guess…. my son leaves me “I love you” notes for no reason and says “thank you” when I make him toast in the morning. But I really think that it says more about the fact that his mother is a clinically depressed person and hates to see her suffer than it does about how I brought him up. I think.

    • It’s both. If you didn’t raise him right, he wouldn’t know how to give such perfect shape to his instincts, which sound like the instincts of a really good person who’s crazy about you.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.