Come on, guys. Time to get it together. It’s 2010. There is absolutely no reason to be seeing these lazy, incorrectly performed opossum pedicures. And you’re really only embarrassing yourself with your opossum’s broke-ass feet. HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR THINGS. (Thanks for the tip, David.)

Comments (63)
  1. Now I can finally take my “best friend” to the the Sizzler without feeling like I am being “low class.”

  2. I didn’t successfully complete “step 1: get an opossum,” so I don’t think I’m ever going to get the hang of this.

  3. awww I feel bad that little possum is trying to escape because she doesn’t want to have a pedicure she wants to roam free in the possum forests

  4. She waves goodbye just like the queen.

  5. I am very frightened. I have a feeling this woman has the preserved corpses of drifters propped up in various positions all around her house.

  6. The whole thing gives me the impression of a video made after the apocalypse.

    Dear mutants of the future! Opossums are the new cats! Pedicure time!

  7. “I know many of you are partial to the French tip”

    That’s what Serge Gainsbourg said?

  8. I am seriously creeped out right now.

  9. yeeessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

    dress me up and take me on a date please

  10. Well everybody knows how to give a opossum a pedicure… Iif you can show me how to give my ferret a Brazilian wax, THEN I’ll be impressed.

  11. So wait-you’re not supposed to have an oppossum, but if you do here’s how to manicure it?

  12. I do not like this woman.

  13. Now I feel bad that I take my opossum to Fancy Nails, where all the nice Asian ladies work.

  14. Turns out I’ve been doing it wrong all these years. No wonder my opossum keeps getting laughed at by the other opossums!

  15. Wait what was that about a pesky elephant hanging about? Where is it? Does it get a pedicure too? Im so confused.

  16. I’m just going to play ‘possum on this one, guys. (TADA!)

  17. He really loved that grape

  18. I want this woman and Joan Collins to be my co-grandmas. I like her witty repartee and that she doesn’t go judging opossums who are maybe down on their luck or have substance abuse issues (like say, injecting grapes) and are just trying to get by.

  19. “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie”
    “If You Give A Moose A Muffin”
    If You Give A Pig A Pancake”

    and now…

    “If You Give An Opossum A Pedicure”

    woooo children’s book jokes! 2010!

  20. It seems that we should never take a opossum as pet, but this lady gets one? I don’t understand…it feels like shes bragging.
    She feels special being the only opossum pedi(mani?)curist.

    And she is so very special.

  21. Please go the website RIGHT NOW. This person is BRILLIANT. CAPS level brilliant.

  22. I kinda feel bad for her. You don’t make five minute videos detailing the proper procedure for giving a opossum a pedicure AND NOT suffer from crippling loneliness.

  23. Nail clipping is just randomly nail clipping, most people prefer to cut off the edges. EH!

  24. “what did you do at work today”- some person
    “watched the entirety of a 5 1/2 minute video of an opposum recieving a manicure” – me

  25. This lady is pretty good looking for an older lady giving an opossum a pedicure.

    • I like that you divide people into very very specific groupings! It makes it easier for anyone to excel! The homeless guy I pass on the way to work is pretty good looking for an older, slightly racist guy who wears no pants and alternates between begging for change and bursting out in random song. (Unfortunately for him, my grandpa would fall into that same grouping, so homeless guy will only ever make it to 2nd best…but still, better than he would under less exacting criteria.)

      I like this new world view!

  26. (To the tune of Possum Kingdom)

    “I will do your naiiiilss and treat you well… cause it’s not creeeepy….creeepy…CREEPY.”

  27. “You had me at ‘opossum.’”

  28. Fuck. How do you delete comments?

  29. “I prefer natural polish colors when it comes to wildlife”
    Well at least something about this whole thing is natural

  30. Gabe, how did you decide which video to post? There are so many! Possum Massage, Possum Cooking, Possum Dental Hygiene, & More!

    (I’ve watched them all now, and will be possum hunting tonight.)

    • Possum cooking?! So this is all just prep work for dinner? That puts it in a whole new light!

      • Opossum cookin’ dun got itself a bad rap. Now ya don’t just go leavin’ a perfectly good animal to rot on the side of the road. That’s just big-city hogwash. This feller right her knows:

  31. It’s nice to finally meet Kenny K-Strass Strasser’s grandmother. Also, she is as good at websites as she is at opossum pedicures: http://mepearl.com/category/pearls-pals/.

  32. This is pretty great. That possum seems way happier than any rabbit does when it’s getting its nails clipped (rabbits freak out so much if you don’t hold them right they can break their own backs by kicking too hard). And obviously her advice about contacting wildlife rescue organizations and not buying products tested on animals is excellent. AND her delivery is so crisp!

    It’s so good a Julie Klausner/Jackie Clarke remake couldn’t improve it (probably).

  33. I CANNOT stop laughing. I have watched it three times now, and am crying tears of LOVE for this woman and her opposum friend.
    But I’m worried…since nothing could ever be as funny as this, will the rest of my life just be one downward spiral as I try to reclaim this marvelous feeling but can’t, and end up stealing lobsters from a tank? #eddiefurlonggum

  34. Proper Opossum Gourmet Cooking:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeWQoAWeAZ0&feature=channel
    The only thing sadder than Microwave Cooking For One

  35. Does anyone else get kind of a Sara Goldfarb vibe? Like maybe if instead of getting addicted to diet pills, she had started adopting large rodents? Maybe this is viral marketing for the sequel, Requiem for a Possum.

    • Also I love when she says “Most people use their own toenail clippers for this.” Oh, yeah, y’know, everyone *I* know uses their own toenail clippers when giving possum pedicures. I dunno about your friends, but that’s what *we* do.

  36. I don’t want to go to grandma’s house!!

  37. “Do not put false fingernails on an opossum — I cannot emphasize this enough.” Good tip!

  38. How did she read my mind like that? I was wondering what would happen if my opossum was a nail-biter. Spooky

  39. I’m as confused as that opossum looks.

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