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Naomi Campbell today gave testimony at the War Crimes Tribunal of former Liberian president Charles Taylor at the Hague. You know, just normal stuff. Super models and genocidal dictators. Blood diamonds. Mia Farrow. International human rights. Secret midnight deliveries of velvet pouches filled with dirty stones. Hair up in poofs. It’s called planet Earth. Look it up. (Via Dlisted.)
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I’d love to see her secret night pouch!
sorry.
Alternately: I’d like to get my dirty stones into her secret night pouch?
Still no? Ok.
Kidney stones? That’s disgusting.
She’s probably hiding the diamonds in that thing growing from her head. Snooky called, she wanted her disaster of a hairdo back.
Bump it? I hardly know it!
Jesus. Somebody get the hose.
I’m putting this out there…Occasionally, I indulge in a little Bumpit usage. It hasn’t hurt anyone!
The real war-crime here is that haircut
Hair cut? More like a Har-har-har-cut
It’s a wig. Apparently, she’s going bald. Seriously…
Also, she said, “this is a big inconvenience for me.”..I mean *spittle* How fucking dare she? Asshole of the year.
Yes, I heard that inconvenience shit too. Only she didn’t even say it, so to speak, but rather had her lawyer regurgitate that shite for her. Stupid bitch.
gifts all the time, at any hour of the night!?
they’re just like us
also: “dirty stones gift in the middle of the night joke” – dane cook
dane cook. or caseanate, evidently
If it were Videogum testifying it would be GIFs all the time, at any hour of the night.
Despite her, perhaps, peculiar bedfellows, the girl looks fabulous! So, all is forgiven.
She looks ….different. I think she’s had work done recently. Maybe a get-out-of-community-service present to herself.
Ahh……ummm… ohhh….the thing about that is…uhh…hyrax pictures?
They are very distantly related to elephants!
Yes! That’s why the name sounded so familar! Thanks for that.
Not that distant – elephants are one of their closest relatives, actually! And they gestate for about 9 months, which is crazy long for something the size of a large guinea pig.
At this lovely Zoo I love they have the Hyraxes (which I would call Hydrox when I was little because cookies) on this fake cliff face with holes and nooks and such…in front of this there are boar or wild pigs or something and then just a ways away diagonally and in full view of the furballs and porkchops are a few pacing pumas. And all I’ve ever seen those poor pumas do is pace and glare at the meal they are denied by their thin little cage. Just pace and glare, pace and glare…. BUT I’m sure it’s fine. I’m not professor zoos!
Thanks for this! I just went down a huge Wikipedia rabbit-hole, reading about the descent of mammals and recent extinctions. SO GOOD.*
*Extinction is not good.** Learning is good.
** Extinction is good when it involves diseases and arachnids, but only then.
She then threw the diamonds at her housekeeper
I was about to say, is that the longest she’s ever gone without throwing a blunt object at someone’s head? Someone call The Guiness!
What?
“Then I fucked the dirty stones at his head and said ‘DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM? COME BACK WITH SOME CLEAN FUCKING STONES!’” is what she said next, probably.
*Naomi fires her RAZR across the courtroom, striking opposing counsel in the head*
Counsel: “Your Honor, this is highly unusual!”
Judge: “No it isn’t.”
Oh you guys, great minds think
alikeNaomi Campbell throws things at people’s heads I guess?like mama always said, when you lie down with dictators, you wake up with diamonds. duh!
Now someone add the gif of Djmon getting an axe to the face from Deep Rising.
In response to seeing this everyday?
Tom Hardy fan in the house, I guess.
Or even Ed Hardy. Lord, I’m so unhip. I’ll see myself out.
Oh, I thought you were being awesome and funny by pretending to know know who Ed Hardy is but to know who Tom Hardy is, because that would be awesome.
I know who both are. With the influx of Tom Hardy casting news, and my serious attempts at avoidance of all things Ed Hardy, I got them confused.
My Chuck Taylors don’t give me dirty diamonds, just dirty stinky feet.
Oh Naomi Campbell. There is nothing about your testimony that doesn’t make me want to slap you. And then clockwork-orange you with documentaries about African child soldiers, you big jerk.
On a side note: I am thankful that I don’t practice before the Hague War Crimes Tribunal:
Looks like someone ate lunch at Red Lobster and forgot to take off their bib!
This is my preferred outfit when I am in court:
I didn’t realize you were a court reporter.
I try not to brag about [being a member of an omnipotent, super-intelligent member of an extradimensional race who is also] a court reporter.
(I have been dorking out way too hard lately, I must stop.)
Upvotes for Q!
You try not to brag about a court reporter and you’re a member of a member? You’d think the superintelligent would be harder to be gone Grammar Nazi on dey ass.
I like this style myself…
Gah. I did not post image tags! Just the link! I swear! Anyway, it was the Hons. Idle and Palin.
There is only one Judge I trust.
See! There’s someone else in this world you can trust.
Whenever the world seems a dark, cruel, and uncertain place, I find it helps to gaze upon the shining beacon of Judge Reinhold, and remember that there still is some good in this world.
My name is Judge.
This one, too.
argh. maybe this is better.
How about…
Do you remeber when Naomi Campbell showed up for her trash collecting community service sentence in some super expensive one of a kind ball gown? You guys remember that?
Blood diamonds are a girl’s best friend.
This testimony makes her seem dumber than a bag of dirty stones.
Secret Night Pouch of Dirty Stones is one hundred percent my band’s name.
Quincy Jones was there too? Sure, why not!
The world is way, waaaay weirder than I had imagined.
Haven’t had my coffee yet, but WHAT IS GOING ON IN THAT VIDEO???
is it perjury that she says she’s never heard of Liberia? because even if she doesn’t know what/where it is, she’s definitely heard of it. they mention it in school, several times (and more if you take world history, geography, and blood diamonds 101).
I’ll second that. She would’ve at least heard of MJ’s “Liberian Girl”, produced by Quincy Jones. Coincidence? I think not.
(first post on videogum, please don’t dirty-stone me to death)
You’re gonna do great things here, Drasko.
Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mr. Nugget.
I think when you meet the president of a country, you can no longer ever claim to not know that said country exists.
Somebody hold my stones.
The secret night pouch is my forest green Jansport.
Listen, as someone hailing from a country where most TV channels have been providing detailed, biased daily coverage from the Hague Tribunal (on account of so many of our countrymen being war criminals and such), Naomi’s pretty face is a pleasant change, and she wouldn’t even be in the running for the stupidest things said on that stand – just check out some of the stuff Vojislav Seselj, who’s currently being tried there, spouts while testifying and/or defending himself.
I watched some of the trials of the Rwanda tribunals while I was in Tanzania earlier this year, and I believe you. Barefaced lies.
On a related note, sitting looking at not one but two war criminals with nothing but a pane of bullet-proof glass between you is a …strange… experience.
You have a bulletproof TV screen?
No, the main tribunal is in Arusha, TZ (where I lived), and are open to the public.