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Let’s be very clear: the Yogi Bear trailer (after the jump), is incredibly awful. It’s cheap and lazy and farty and falling-downy. Not to mention the fact that Yogi Bear? It’s 2010. No one even knows what that is. Is it a brand of holographic bubble tea that you can only order on-line? The point is: there’s lots to make fun of about this all-too-common example of Hollywood’s lazy attempt at rebooting an aging franchise in order to grab a few dollars out of the wilted wallets of exhausted parents who thrill at the idea of being able to sit quietly in the dark for a couple hours, even if that quiet is occasionally broken by the piercing sound of a CGI bear crashing his moped into a Diarrhea Warehouse. It’s crass and artless and bad. But if I may, I would like to defend it. (Much as Hollywood has built its financial well-being on the backs of sad cash cows, so, too, do blogs fill their post quotas by being reactionary and contrarian.) You see, the Internet, as usual, is mad. As if this is worse than everything that came before it, but it is not. And as if this was not intended for children, which it is. Children are so stupid! And they like such awful things! Seriously, I have never met a child who was smarter than me, or had better taste. Even the irrelevance of Yogi Bear (see also: Smurfs: The Movie, for which an equal defense could be made, but I didn’t feel like it that day, and you can’t fire me because I have already quit) is completely explainable: if you can get one million children out of the 10 million who see this interested in buying Yogi Bear merch, then you have a completely successful new line of income. I didn’t go to Business School, but MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE. Complaining about the Yogi Bear movie just seems like complaining about Goober Grape. YOU’RE AN ADULT NOW. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING LOOKING AT GOOBER GRAPE?
Just kidding. What a fucking terrible nightmare of a piece of garbage shit, right guys? Let’s all go see this drunk on opening night and throw glass in some 9-year-old’s face.
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I anticipate quite a few Boo Boos from the critics.
“I have never met a child who was smarter than me”
Your move Delahaye…
My only complaint about this movie (and the trailer, which I haven’t looked at because work) is that Anna Faris and Tom Cavanaugh are far too sexy to be in it. Dan Aykroyd’s sexy is transcendent.
Is it in a CGI animal’s contract that they have to dance to a pop song in a movie??
Also, Dan Aykroyd’s intro is so forced!
It was like someone had a gun to Dan Aykroyd’s wife’s head of camera.
What does “comparing about Goober Grape” mean?
What are you now, grammartaco?
I was going to say that I’m “Grammertaco” and photoshop my picture onto Frasier’s body, but then I remembered that I am at work and only have MS Paint here. So just try to imagine how hilarious that would have been, okay?
SO GREAT!
What’s Eating Goober Grape?
extra points if you bring a real bear to the movie, to teach children an important lesson about Animal Safety
(also this movie makes me feel like this.)
[IMG]http://i32.tinypic.com/2zjatf7.jpg[/IMG]
they tried, but the focus groups did not enjoy “The Adventures of MurderBear: Life’s a Picnic, but with Murder Instead of Cole Slaw”
cant post photos….i’ll C++ my own way out….
How many trailers for children’s movies has Videogum bagged in the last two months alone?
It sounds like Gabe knows what he’ll be doing this Christmas.
Punting babies. I mean, that’s what I’ll be doing. He can come too, but he has to wear a suit.
Not very many, actually. Besides the Smurfs movie, I can’t think of another one, because children’s movies are for children, so who cares? I did write about the Smurfs, though, because I have real affection for those stupid little creepy weirdos.
I knew it!
Hmm, I guess you’re right, Gabe. I was thinking of Raped by Satan, but I guess that isn’t technically a kids’ movie.
Huh? Damn, looks like I wrapped that DVD for my 3 year old nephew’s birthday for nothing. I knew I should have just waited until that Japanese videogame RapePlay was released in the U.S!
Plus, you know, James Cameron spent a lot of money on that Smurfs movie.
I will go see this just for Justin Timberlake singing a dance number as Boo Boo which is digitally choreographed behind the closing credits for this movie.
The real problem with this movie is that it will teach a generation of children to laugh at bears, rather than to fear them as deadly beasts who must be killed on sight, except that bears are essentially bulletproof, so you practically need a bazooka or dynamite, and since few people carry these things anymore, the bears are sure to dominate the land once again as they did in the days of the worthless Cherokee. This movie weakens America.
Grizzly Bears are the #1 threat to America, after all.
Thatswhatimtalkinbout!
Won’t somebody think of the children?
Gif that combines a clip from this trailer with the part of Inception where Tom Hardy pulls out a grenade launcher.
This is my strategy also. Unfortunatly, it never seems to earn all the upvotes it deserves.
Dan Aykroyd looks like he’s being held at gunpoint.
If by “gunpoint” you mean “gambling debt point.”
I just know that the content that I grew up with was just plain better.
True story: Ten years ago, a friend of mine was house-sitting in Beverly Hills, and she invited me over to lounge by the pool. I pulled up to what appeared to be a giant house behind a high gate. I walked into a breathtaking foyer — a massive marble whitespace with a staircase curving up to the second floor, which itself was way higher up than normal second floors, and as I recall the foyer ceiling, remotely far overhead, was a glass dome. Plus there were marble statues and vases in recesses. But — when I got The Tour — it turned out all the rooms off the foyer were small. Like, ordinary living-room size. Ordinary dining-room size. Ordinary couches, with tassels where normally you would not have tassels (I remember a lot of tassels) but that was it. There was a “home theater” but it was just a den with a projection TV. Okay, the kitchen was huge, with 2 or 3 subzeros, but otherwise — totally normal house stuck around a museum foyer. Eh. We went outside and spent the whole day throwing things in the pool so the dog would jump in and fetch them, and then we raided the basically empty fridges for dinner. And I asked, who lives here? And my friend said, “The guy who invented the Power Rangers.”
The power rangers that I grew up with had racially insensitive color correlations… so I’m not sure who the people in this picture are.
I knew something looked [wrong? right?] in that picture.
Kiwis. Eventually Power Rangers were exclusively played by actors from New Zealand.
Hollywood made a big Boo Boo making this movie, amirite??
“We’ve made a huge mistake.”
- Hollywood
They’ve made Yogi unbearable, amirite?
It looks like this Christmas, Hollywood will be going to the dogs, amirite?
Wait, no…
“For family fun (read: barf), this is my number one pic(-a-nic).”
— Slobodan Milobstercritic, 1986-2012
As a father of three boys (three!), I will totally NOT go see this, but mostly because we can’t find a babysitter for the night.
My number 1 reason against having kids is that I will have to take them to see garbagepukes like this. Please tell me it’s not mandatory!
For the record, my three year old son saw this, and laughed everytime someone got a pie in the face, or a butt was smacked by an inanimate object. My seven year old just quoted the “I wonder if anyone noticed the pie” line, and his younger brother cracked up.
I am a father, and this is real life.
Okay, that is really cute. I’d be willing to sit through garbage for that kind of cuteness.
Two things will always be shoddily crafted, yet extremely popular: kids movies/TV and porn.
but when we combine the two, we get…..
J-Tizzle’s up in this piece? Oh, I am all over this movie now. I watch everything with my main man J-Tizzle.
Where’s Carol Vessey?
Guys, I actually laughed out loud while watching this trailer. And I was laughing with not at. But I will never pay to go see it, but come on, “I wonder if he noticed the pie”! And Yogi had so much trouble getting onto that train!
“One that talks? Those are so rare!”
I am glad I’m not the only one who didn’t think it was terrible! I mean, it’s for children and looks like it’s for children (unlike say, ‘Where The Wild Things Are,” which was for Everyone, but especially adults)…but it’s not insultingly bad. Just silly, like babies are silly!
This is basically no different than dangling keys in front of a baby’s face.
I’d rather watch Dan Aykroyd in a Binny’s commercial.
The fact “Hi, I’m Dan Aykroyd” makes me immediately think “local liquor store commercial” probably doesn’t speak well of his career trajectory.
Bad job by the rangers in this movie. These bears have obviously lost their fear of people, and need to be put down, not gently scolded. I don’t want “Yogi Bear” to end the way “Grizzly Man” did.
I just watched that the other day. Where he bumps into the bears and starts stroking them, saying “I’m sorry, I love you” over and over again? so creepy
honestly, the idea of a yogi bear doesn’t offend me. I liked yogi bear when I was a kid, BUT, what I am offended by is this awful CGI! It looks like technology from like 10 years ago. Its weird and scary like Tim Burton made it or something. Everything is cheap! The green screen shot at :38 looks like it some NYU students shot it. Even the sound design is lazy and bad!
(note: I am an adult and I don’t watch cartoons/kids movies, therefore I would never go see it and shouldn’t even give a care)
Hey, you guys! Remember when Dan Akroyd was in really funny movies? And Oh Boy! Wasn’t he just a riot on Saturday Night Live? Man, those were the days. Getting old in Hollywood sure is fun. Right, Mel Gibson?!
Ranger’s not gonna like this…
Why do you need Celebrity Voices when you’re just doing a (bad) impersonation of the cartoon voices?
I mean, I know the answer but…what a total waste of money.
True story: My mom’s maiden name sounds a lot like “Yogi,” so – in high school – the children would call my older uncle “Yogi Bear” and my mom’s nickname was “Boo-Boo,” which eventually got shortened to “Boobs” for some reason that I utterly and defiantly refuse to speculate on. But when I was 16 I went with her to to her class reunion and let me tell you, following your mom around with hundreds of people shouting “Boobs!” at her is the equivalent imagination rape-rape.
What I’m saying is, I won’t be seeing this movie.
Dear Hollywood:
As long as you are wrongfully stealing our nostalgic kitsch and giving it to the undeserving hands of children, can you please make “Kidd Video: The Movie” so Winwood can finally shut up about it?
Dan Akroyd has become a nightmare garbage monster.
We’re 2 for 4 on Ghostbusters selling-out and voicing shitty CGI cartoon characters. Murray as Garfield. Akroyd as Yogi. Next up: Egon as Jabberjaws and Winston as Huckleberry Hound!!???
Since we’re talking about kid’s movies (not really, but whatever), I just wanna throw this out there: American Rabbit.
where’s my laff-a-lympics reboot?
It’s rape of our childhood. But not rape-rape?
No…no, it is.
Is it rape if the original cartoon was asking for it?
Aykroyd has to fund his UFO research somehow. My stepmother is an Alien residuals just aren’t cutting it anymore.
when i first saw the poster, i cried and died a little inside…
now the trailer has finished me, mainly because the acting is so bad that J-Tizzles voice seems to be closer to the original than Aykroyd’s
your move 2012
This is what Justin Timberlake is doing with his time instead of making music that makes my girlfriend horny.
i thought we had figured out how to properly do CGI. no? i think i could handle this as just a silly kids’ movie if it wasn’t for the terrible animation. i’d prefer Mary Poppins/ Bedknobs and Broomsticks style of just regular animation with live action.
my dad’s nickname for me as a small child was “boo boo” and he usually did the yogi voice when he called me it. in first grade, after parent-teacher conferences, we all got notes our parents had left on our desk the night before. mine was addressed “boo boo” and lead to me being mocked by other six year olds. i told him later that he couldn’t call me that ever again. #sadstory
Seems about as funny as the original cartoon to me. Hope the kids enjoy it.