Just a normal song from a normal guy about a normal God who, in His infinite wisdom, probably agrees this is all very normal.

I know that this is a song for kids, and that its intended audience is young Christian children, eager to soak up the valuable lessons about God’s grace and glory told in the wondrous and powerful metaphor of a creep in a facepaint barking like a dog. But personally, I like to believe that Jim Steiger wrote this song for ADULTS ONLY and is so frustrated that no one is hearing the sincere message of His gospel. “Hello? There’s a promise that I’m after, and it’s better than a bone? Why isn’t anyone picking up on this stuff? Don’t you adult men and women want to go to heaven?” WOOF. GET IT? You get it. (Thanks for the tip, Andy and Sylive.)

Comments (45)
  1. Now I’ll never get back to sleep.

  2. All dogs really DO go to heaven!

  3. Well, his methods are effective, I guess. I have never prayed harder than during the 3:04 duration of that video.

  4. This is just part of the campaign to curb pre-marital Yiffing.

  5. I was kind of getting the master/slave fetishistic thing with framework of zoophilic role play, but he lost me when he said the Bible’s words are full of water. That’s just perverse.

  6. HOWL ame

  7. Jesus ain’t gonna pick up your shit, or pay your veterinary bills dog. I hope this guy has been neutered.

    • Jesus, will, however, arbitrarily do things like, make you sit and wait for no reason, stick his hand in your mouth, take a handful of your food while you are eating, make you always go through a doorway after him, make you sleep in a crate for the early part of your life, train you to not speak, but then later train you to speak on command, and others, all to assert his dominance in order to ensure that later in life, you are a happy, safe, confident person, assured of your position in the pack.

  8. “Davey, God is just Dog spelled backwards, Davey. It’s time to cleanse the world of the unrighteous, Davey.” – Goliath the Dog & Davey the Righteous

  9. Finally a song about slavery I can get behind!

  10. As a a more/less American Stuides major, I spent a lot of my time writing about really weird religious shit like this (can you BELIEVE I live with my parents right now?). There are face-painted Christians all over the place. Like Chagy, the minister clown, who I had the pleasure of interviewing.

  11. Neil Patrick Harris?!

  12. Oh my dog.

  13. I for one would like to see more things use the “Dog Facepaint” tag.

  14. Can you imagine dying, flying up to heaven (I believe that’s how it happens,) opening the gate and the first guy you see is this guy? You’d be like “Thanks, but no thanks. Later.” And that’s how ghosts are made.

  15. I don’t like this man’s face

  16. How does this guy not have a contract with Psychopathic Records?!

  17. This is the best Sinead O’Connor has looked in years.

  18. Reminds me of South Park: “I want to get down on my knees and start praising Jesus. Wanna feel his salvation all over my face”

  19. Sup, dog? -God

  20. the real life freddy krueger has finally surfaced and as it turns out, a dog faced, religious nut with a guitar can be far creepier than a burned face and knife fingers.

    someone call the dream warriors.

  21. I kind of love this?

    First of all, that is some detailed face paint. Time and thought went into that.

    Second of all, just when you think, “If I could read I’d read the Bible ’cause it’s words are full of water” is the craziest thing I’m going to hear today or EVER, he follows it up immediately with something about how the water is alive? Alive!

    Finally, I recommend rewatching this video on mute. You then realize that Master Steager’s voice, howleluyas and all, actually mitigates the craziness. When it’s just his painted face contorting, it is… well, I have been to a place of darkness, I think.

  22. Eh, I still think the original rocks a little harder, and isn’t quite as perverted.

  23. He’s gonna have a miraculous adventure walking across the country to the Juggalo Gathering. Maybe he’ll meet a woman in cat make up and a goofy lizard guy or something.

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