[In this feature, we will periodically check in to see what is up with Topher Grace.]

The implosion of Mel Gibson over the past week, or, well, not an implosion exactly since this was clearly just an all-too common private moment exposed, and was recorded who knows how long ago, but the proverbial implosion of Mel Gibson over the past week is yet another vivid example of the horrors wreaked upon the human mind by fame. Mel Gibson’s father is a famous Holocaust denier, so it’s not like he didn’t have a HEAD START, but it is unfortunate how badly celebrity twists people into garbage trolls. (And yes yes yes, there are also terrible horrible people who AREN’T famous, but we can’t get into every single counter-argument all the time. FOCUS, you guys, jeez!) Like, and I know I mentioned this already today, but, the things that he says in these tapes aren’t just the awful heat-of-the-moment arguments of a confused bad person. They are literally things a human being simply doesn’t say out loud to another human being under any circumstances. Mel Gibson says them, though. Because he is no longer a human being. The transformation is complete. Total Gollum now. CAST HIM INTO MOUNT DOOM!

Topher Grace is also famous. What is up with him?

Obviously, it has been a very big week for Topher Grace. His movie Predators opened number 3 at the box office. Not bad! And he celebrated a birthday this week. Very cool. I have a birthday, too! We all do! It’s pretty cool. Hopefully he did something fun. Not that it’s any of our business how he chose to celebrate. Maybe he doesn’t like fun. Anyway:

Fade In magazine has a long interview with Topher Grace. You can read the whole thing here, but here’s a sample:

Fade In Magazine: You’re ambidextrous?
Topher Grace: No, that’s not true.
FIM: You have a large collection of baseball caps?
TG: Sadly, no, probably only this one.

Good questions, very critical. The article includes some photos of Topher, naturally. It’s an article!:

Looking good, Topher. Don’t cut yourself on that fence! It’s broken! But best of all, the article includes a video. Magazine of the future!

Cool video. Very cool use of video. The future is here, I’m sure.

The website What Would Toto Watch? has a “thinkpiece” on the trajectory of Topher Grace’s career after early comparisons were made (uncredited?) to Tom Hanks:

Beware being dubbed the “next” anything. Consider the “next Spielberg,” AKA director M. Night Shyamalan. “The Sixth Sense” auteur is currently under heavy fire for making the abysmal “The Last Airbender.” Topher Grace is suffering a similar letdown. The sitcom star got dubbed the “next” Tom Hanks after he broke out on “That ’70s Show.” He hasn’t landed a consequential film role since, and now he’s simply another face in the jungle in the new film “Predators.”

Grace is still young, but his struggles to find leading man glory is another indicator of how brutal the competition is to ascend to the A-list – and the perils of early praise.

My first reaction to this is that it makes no sense to write about how an actor’s career has fallen apart when the inspiration for your entire article is the actor’s role in a brand new MAJOR HOLLYWOOD MOVIE. And then I would point out that it is hard enough to get something done in this world without everyone breathing down your neck all the time, and that perhaps we should all spend a little more time focussing on our own lives and not worry so much about what is going to happen to other people who are doing fine. But that would be a ridiculous thing for me to say, if you think about it. Hi, Tom Hanks!

Meanwhile, ScreenJunkies has a profile and some photos of The Sorcerer’s Apprentice star, Teresa Palmer, and ho ho ho what is this here now?!

The blonde Aussie Teresa Palmer is Disney’s sexy gift with performances in Bedtime Stories and now this week’s The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. Topher Grace has been lucky enough to truly enjoy her down under charm, and if that turns you off you must seriously hate Topher Grace.

I’m neither turned on or off by the idea of two complete strangers having a romantic relationship, but I am turned off by this paragraph. “[He] has been lucky enough to truly enjoy her down under charm”? What is THAT all about? Gross, ScreenJunkies. Cut it out.

Finally, one Yahoo! Answers tries to get some answers:

Here are my answers:

a) Topher Grace
b) Matthew McConaughey

I like to think that Topher Grace appreciates honesty, and would also recognize that ultimately these comparisons are entirely meaningless. There is a hole in the ocean!

And, of course, That ’70s Show remains popular in syndication.

There you go. That is what is up with Topher Grace. Send your Topher tips to tophergracenews@videogum.com. See you next time!

Comments (48)
  1. What’s up with Orlando Bloom?

  2. So they’re saying her vagina is charming? I just want to make sure I understand.

  3. I think whoever who wrote “Disney’s sexy gift with performances in Bedtime Stories and now this week’s The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” is in jail now

  4. Her “down under charm” may be the most obvious euphemism I’ve ever seen.

  5. I have an EXCLUSIVE FIRST SCOOP on the EXPLOSIVE Topher Grace hate-tapes. Here’s one of the choice quotes:

    “I am going to come and burn the fucking house down… but you will let me sux your buttz first.”

  6. Nobody has anything to say about that video? Really?

    The best is that there’s a shout out to the director at the end of the 29 second video, as if someone were to watch it and think, “I simple must have more of this man’s work.”

  7. The next Tom Hanks? Clearly Colin Hanks.

  8. can someone make an animated gif of the topher chalk clap?

  9. my answer is topher grace to both. am i wrong?

  10. Locals spend the weekend repairing after another Topher Grace attack

  11. If she were Indian, he might have enjoyed the charms of her subcontinent.
    If she were Caribbean, he might have gone for her St Kitts and Nevis.
    If she were Thai, he might have been lucky enough to lap up her Land-of-Smiles sugar.
    If only she were American — he could have been swept up by her Lady Liberty. Or by the allure of her Great Satan. Or her Uncle Sam.
    If she were Korean, I guess he could be spending his nights in her DMZ.
    If she hailed from Cameroon, he might have fallen for her Armpit of Africa ways.
    If she were Israeli, he might have been thrilled to get settled by her Zionist Entity.
    Or if she were an American specifically from Alaska, he might be spending all his time in her Last Frontier. Or if she were from Alabama, he might be smitten by her Yellowhammer.
    Or Louisiana, he might be lucky enough to oil her marshy Pelican State.
    And of course, if she were from Oregon, The Beaver State…

    There is something wrong with me today.

  12. “Grace is still young, but his struggles to find leading man glory is another indicator of how brutal the competition is to ascend to the A-list – and the perils of early praise.”

    When you have a font size a small as mine, ‘perils’ looks an awful lot like ‘penis’.

  13. Predator? I barely even got to “down under charm” her!

  14. Strangely, I have a thing for Topher’s lips. I think he’s definately got it, baby!

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