Remember back in late April or early May when day after day they kept increasing the estimates of how much oil was spewing from the hole in the ocean, and at a certain point you were like, “Holy Shit, that is so much oil. It is basically the most oil,” and then right around the same time you realized that, you also realized that there was no real hope of anyone STOPPING the oil any time soon, and it started to seem like at a certain point in the not so distant future, the ocean itself would just be thick, black, waveless sludge covering the earth, dotted with dead animals. And then Cillian Murphy would have to fly the Icarus II into the sun, or whatever.

This Mel Gibson scandal is basically the “human” (more like human garbage, am I right?) version of the BP oil spill. WHEN WILL IT END? AND AT WHAT COST? The Mel Gibson scandal, like the BP oil spill, is a demonstration of mankind’s rampant greed and callous disregard. I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that if Mel Gibson’s audio rants get into the loop current, we will see the near extinction of most shellfish. Just how much hatred is inside that thing? Unfortunately, the relief wells being dug into Mel Gibson’s heart won’t be done until August, and every attempt to cut off the broken riser pipe that is is face with a diamond-tipped saw has failed. WE’RE GOING TO NEED A BIGGER DIAMOND-TIPPED SAW!

The third leaked tape of Mel Gibson being just one of the worst people you have ever heard in your entire life, after the jump:

I know God don’t make no junk, but he kind of made some junk. (Via Dlisted.)

Comments (66)
  1. He does come from the land of Iocaine powder.

  2. Poor everyone.

  3. Transcription, please?

    As if I haven’t had enough fun with Feminism in the “I Spit on Your Grave” post.

  4. I still don’t understand how this woman sounds so calm while being berated like this. It’s like all that plastic surgery went to her brain too :( “you control me like marionette” :( oh lady, you make me sad

  5. This is the tape that brought Renee Russo into the mix, right? Can’t wait until the next one, where he is racist towards Chris Rock.

    (Note: the Lethal Weapon jokes will continue until they cease to amuse me, or until we reach a 5th tape. Dear god, I hope we do not reach a 5th tape.)

  6. I hate when they force in new characters at the end of a trilogy. It didn’t work when Coppola tried it and now we’re stuck with Andy Garcia.

  7. It worked for the ocean, it worked for the future ocean, it’ll work for Mel. Bring in the Ringer:

  8. I have officially reached the point where I am too sad to try and make snarky comments.

  9. After listening to the first two, I sorta feel like I listened to everything that is wrong and horrible about mel gibson. I mean, it can’t get much worse than the first two, right? Right?

    • Agreed. At this point I’m just sort of like, “oh yeah, Mel Gibson saying horrible things to the mother of his children. Well, ya know, that’ll happen.”

  10. “Well, it takes 2 to fight.” -Ghoopi Woldberg

  11. Mel Gibson certainly does not know what Jesus would do.


  13. So we all know he is an awful nightmare made of sexism, racism, violence, and crazy, so that’s out of the way. But, what the hell did she say about him possessing her liver and kidneys?!

  14. Oh man, WHAT A BONEHEAD!!!

  15. Maybe this is a dumb question, but when did he lose his Australian accent? Did that contribute to the crazy?

  16. he’s still got it.

  17. Just goofing off guys, lighten up! Be more like Whoopers!

  18. Maybe we can lock Mel Gibson in his cryogenic freezer from “Forever Young” and unfreeze him when they figure out how to cure awful.

  19. Can we all just get together, have a few drinks and fight Mel Gibson? Can we just do that?

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