Last night, the sports world sat rapt as ESPN broadcast LeBron James’s LIVE announcement of his decision about something to do with sportsketball. I don’t know. I mean, I know that he played for the Cleveland Hoopsketshooters and I also know that he is now going to be playing for the Miami Pro Team, but I’m not actually sure what the scandal is? Because it seems like there is a scandal? People mad! I have not seen a single thing saying that LeBron James moving to Miami is a good thing, and everyone is also upset that he milked this situation for maximum attention, which is hilarious, because even as someone who does not follow sports at all, I’m very well aware that professional athletes ENJOY ATTENTION. No duh. In any case, you can watch his announcement here, and discuss your genuine human emotions over the situation. OR: we can discuss this photo taken yesterday (big day!) of Rachel Bilson pumping gas into her car (Toyota Prius, if you want to know). Where is SHE going? How do people feel about HER big move?

You are also allowed to discuss how you feel about both situations if you want, of course, because I am sure they are equally provocative, emotional, and important.

Comments (96)
  1. Does anybody here carpool? Or bike to work? Rachel Bilson, if that IS her real name, should be ashamed.

  2. Why is Rachel Bilson making Rene Russo’s face?

  3. Poor Cleveland.

  4. Rachel Bilson pumps her own gas? They’re just like you and me, these celebrities!

  5. Thanks for asking, Gabe. Personally, I don’t particularly give a care one way or the other about the sports situation. These sports guys are paid a lot of money to entertain arm chair jock douches who obsess over this nonsense meanwhile there are double rainbows all around us. Forget those guys.

    Now as for the Rachel Bilson matter: I have to admit that when I first saw her name in the headline of this blog post I felt a little rush of excitement (she’s pretty) and my mind raced with anticipation and hope that there might be some pictures of her. But then I quickly had second thoughts (before realizing that you have not posted any pictures of her or slide show features) that maybe the simple fact that “she’s pretty” might not be all that big of a deal, particularly when you consider that horrible movie she was in with that Scrubs guy with no chin who I hate. She played the part of a grown woman child so well that you have to wonder if maybe she might not be all that interesting of a person. Just food for thought, friend.

    • LaBron James just accepted a role in “Jumpers 2: The Jumpening.”

    • Hello, Showbiz Pizza? Yes, hi. Um. The robot you sold me is deconstructing itself? So..

    • “…particularly when you consider that horrible movie she was in with that Scrubs guy with no chin who I hate. She played the part of a grown woman child so well that you have to wonder if maybe she might not be all that interesting of a person.”

      I’d just like to point out that this statement could also apply to your beloved Natalie Portman.

  6. Mad people make the funniest artwork.

    Can we agree on that?

  7. “People are allowed to pump their own gas?! Gee willikers!” – Person from New Jersey

  8. She’s just adding fuel to the fire that is consuming Lebon’s Cavs jerseys.

  9. Pictured: 2 extremely humble men discussing extremely humble things.

  10. For Raquel’s sake, that better not be a BP Station.

  11. Whatevs. It don’t even matter, you guys.

    • Umm, can I see his funky winkerbean?

    • Prince has given up. Yes, he is wearing platform orthopedic shoes, yes there is an asian inspired portrait of himself on his mock turtle neck kimono, but I mean…his guitar isn’t even vaguely penis shaped. PF!

      jk love u prince

    • I really think that’s a picture of prince on prince’s shirt. And furthermore, that picture of Prince on Prince’s shirt is still somehow taller than Prince himself.

  12. Le who?

  13. Childrens Hospital ad campaign might be the best ad campaign in the history of Videogum.

  14. As a Cleveland Monster, this is seriously pretty depressing. Not too get all Deadspingum over here, but for an athlete to go on national TV and 1) turn himself into a supervillan and 2) demolish and entire cities hopes and dreams is just purely evil. Fuck that guy.

    • Bill Simmons’ take on it was on the nose:

      “What a week for LeBron’s brand. I just hope he remembers to wipe the blood off the knife after he pulls it from Cleveland’s back.”

    • You will always have Drew Carey.

    • Seriously man, I’m sorry. I’m from Boston so I know how to take my sports way too seriously. I can’t imagine how I would handle something like this as an adult, much less back when I was a little kid. Ugh. Little kids all over Cleveland, I feel so fucking bad for them.

      This is worse than having your homegrown sports hero’s face, along with an incredible young career, wrecked by a fastball. (1 million upvotes and three photos of something awesome to anyone who knows who I am talking about.)

      • tony c? (if my memory of “dad’s cautionary tales starring len bias” serves me. or it could be from the sequel, “tragic figures tangentially related to lynn, ma.”)

        as a celtics fan, i have hated lebron as much as it is possible to hate a stranger who is really good at his job and hasn’t really done anything wrong. that, nonsports fans, is a lot of hate.

        now i feel compelled to stick up for him, which makes me hate him more.

        that jerk. being a few years younger than he, i know I would never a) leave home, b) want to disappoint a bunch of preternaturally sad people i don’t know, c) move to the beach to hang out with my friends who make my job a lot easier, d) not pay state income tax.
        just unfathomable!

        it’s not what michael jordan would have done.
        michael jordan’s kind of a prick.

        now that lebron’s the bad guy, well, i kind of like him?

        • The Senator already got the prize, but it is unfortunatly awaiting moderation.

          Arthur great, everyone related to Lynn, even tangentially, could not possibly be tragic, for to be tragic, you must first rise in order to fall, but when you are related to Lynn, no matter how much you achieve, you’re ever always fallen.

      • Kirby Puckett!

    • I, too, am a Cleveland monster, and man… what a coward that guy turned out to be! Right? To go rely on Dwyane Wade to win a championship for him while simultaniously, and arrogantly, bitch slapping Cleveland in the most public setting he could muster? Sorry Delante slept with your mom, Lebron… but mommy deserves love, too, kiddo. man up.

    • From some of the things I’ve read it’s the /way/ he did it that was particularly galling to Clevelanders (Clevelandians?), rather than just the fact he’s leaving. Going on national tv just to say “See yas” is a little bit rude. Thoughts?
      Personally, I can see why he went to Miami, but I was also surprised – I didn’t think he’d want to dilute his legacy by sharing credit with Bosh and Wade for any subsequent championships. That said, it’s hard to carry an entire city on your shoulders. Yikes.

      • I think “how” he did it has everything to do with the criticism. So absurd and self-absorbed. He had the Clippers fly people out to “negotiate” and then refused to include them in the negotiations. Then ESPN totally falling over themselves to broadcast that giant turd of a show. The whole way he handled it and the fact that no one around him told him this was a bad idea is just unbelievable. (cf. Kevin Durant announcing his contract renewal via Twitter.) #enoughsportsgum

    • Not to be an antagonist or diminish the real hurt and disappointment that Cleveland feels right now, but, man. It’s not like he farted, lit a match, and walked away while the whole Cavs organization and Cleveland itself burned to the ground. You still have a team! Hell, if Dan Gilbert has anything to say about it (which he does, like, a lot), then it’s even more motivation to bring a championship home. I would be very disappointed in Cleveland if their attendance drops off significantly next year because LeBron left. Use this anger! Turn it into something good! Let Cleveland fight back against him if he’s a supervillain! Just don’t keep feeling sorry for yourselves over this – he left for reasons he felt were right – just make it your jobs to make him regret it.

      • I agree with you. However, it’s awfully hard to justify paying $50 for tickets to see an inferior product, i.e. Indians, Browns, etc. And while we’re on the subject -

        • You still got Danny Green! (I’m a Chapel Hill monster, so that means a great deal to me.) Turn that dude into your new hero. He’s so likable!

        • Wait. Cleveland tickets are only $50?! That’s downright cheap compared to other teams. The Wizards suck, but tickets to their games are like $100.

  15. I’m sure John Mayer has some opinions about both LeBron James and pumping gas.

  16. Both of these stories are less exciting to me than the Emmy nomination announcements, and that’s really saying something.

  17. In the meantime, there is a hole at the bottom of the ocean spewing cancerous qualities of black death into the sea and it shows no signs of slowing down. It’s also going to Florida! Oil Spills! They’re just like celebrities who are just like us!

  18. LeBron James is fucking out, Rachel Bilson is fucking in!

  19. I tried making an OC joke with a picture of Anna several times, to no avail. Either I’m about to spam this thread to hell (sorry!) or Gabe strongly supports team Summer.

  20. I think that the issue is that LeBron James is basically the Cleveland Stock Market and now the entire Cleveland economy is going to collapse. It’d be funny if it weren’t true.

  21. On the one hand, LeBron’s decision is symbolic of the decay of the Rust Belt as a whole. His team was terrible the entire city was fixated on him as the one bright light of hope for their ENTIRE FUTURE. I mean, get a life, Cleveland. I hear there is a decent art and food scene in your city so go check that out. Meanwhile, LeBron is moving to Miami, a city with so much going on that people there could probably not give less of a shit about LeBron being there. C’mon, dude prob won’t even be the richest person on his block. Cleveland is so upset about one of their own leaving their gray-skied hellhole for a city festering below hurricane skies where there are so many people from other terrible places doing terrible thing with even more terrible people from even worse places that a 6’8″ blipster with $100 mil makes no difference whatsoever.

    On the other hand, fuck Rachel Bilson. Is she particularly good at anything other than looking slightly prettier than 60% of women? Didn’t think so. Furthermore, hybrid cars. Ugh. They are not a step at all in the correct direction or towards true alternative fuel technology. We were almost doing as good with plain ‘ole gas engines in the 70s yet we’re still buying into the notion that getting 40mpg from a gas engine with 500 lbs of dangerous batteries in the back of a car with no brakes is progress.

    • “Gray-skied hellhole for a city”? Relax, wwwwwwwwwwest. Seriously.

      • Sorry to bash the climate. Like I said, there are plenty of other thing to do in Cleveland besides obsess over a 25 year old guy deciding to move to another city to pursue opportunities to better his career. I don’t get the whole “you’re one of us, you can never leave or cross us” attitude. People are setting effigies on fire and the owner of the team is writing letters in comic sans about God and heaven. What is up with that? I understand the press conference is stupid and unnecessary but that should be blamed on ESPN like 90%.

        • You’re right, there are plenty of things Clevelanders can do with their time besides cry about LeBron. I’m just sick of people bashing the place.

          People set shit on fire when their team WINS a championship, so why can’t someone burn a jersey when their best player, the face of a franchise and local hero forgoes loyalty and commitment to an organization for a “quick title”?

    • slightly prettier than 60% of women”? Where do you live?

    • The Cavs weren’t terrible, LeBron was terrible when it counted, so all the more reason to hate the dude.

    • This deserves all the upvotes, back and forth, forever.

      Wait, not back and forth, just one way, in its direction.

      What I’m saying is, your comment is good, wwwest.

  22. i didn’t watch the decisiWORST…who did LeBron give his rose to?

    • No one was more disappointed than I was that the show was entirely humorless. You’re stomping on the hopes of five cities (well, their sports fans anyway); at least give ‘em a chuckle first!

      No reason why the host of The Bachelor couldn’t have made an appearance.

  23. History pretty much dictated Cleve fans would get their hearts ripped out but they still believed….pretty fun stuff actually.

  24. Cleveland will be ok. They have Comic Sans!

  25. I like Rachel Bilson, but can we talk about why the bottom of her hair is very blonde and the top of her head is her natural color? Is this a thing people are doing right now? Because this goes WAY beyond “roots are in.”
    Also, the NBA has been irrelevant since Jordan retired the second time (post 6th championship, pre-Washington Wizards), and joyless since Muggsy Bogues retired.

  26. The way the Cav’s owner reacted to LeBron’s choice is ridiculous…as if he OWNED LeBron and now has lost him. If I were Keith Oberman I would make him my worst person ever or whatever…

    Rachel Bilson has incredible skin…I just want to touch it. I also like her outfit…but I agree with some above commentors…I think she would look much better with a solid color look…I mean right ladies?

    • I’m trying to deal with it, but I feel like lebron ruined The League a little bit yet yesterday. The best players are supposed to compete against each other thus creating the human drama that is Sports. But this graphic helps me. I will begin to deal. Thx!!

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