America is a gigantic country, home to millions of people, and we don’t always agree on the way it should be governed. Heck! We RARELY agree, hahaha. But when it comes down to it, most of us do want the same thing from our elected leaders, even if we go about finding it in different ways. We want elected representatives that are honest and intelligent and working as hard as they can to make our country a better place. We want elected representatives who help people, and stand up for what they believe in, and who understand the complicated and conflicting needs of their constituents. But most of all, we want elected leaders who hire young white guys in visors and campaign t-shirts to record and perform impossibly awful campaign theme songs that sound like something a Wham! cover band diarrheaed out of their raw butts into the broken toilet after a night of bad seafood.

Well, the lucky Republicans of Florida’s 19th District have found that in incumbent candidate, Mike Weinstein:

Neat! I’m glad they inserted record scratch sound effects in case there are any black people in here. My favorite part, of course, is the footage recorded in front of a live audience. A night to remember! I’m sure the line to get into the club was around the block. Faces pressed to the glass. Windows all fogged up. People turned away at the door throwing themselves off of buildings.

You can download the song here. Or not download it here.
(Thanks for the tip, Gabe.)

Comments (58)
  1. I object to the number of negroes in this video.

  2. This is the opposite of a negative campaign ad, but somehow just as bad.

  3. Sign me up! Where do I get a visor?! Give me all of the visors!

  4. I didn’t know Jeffrey Tambor went into politics

  5. isn’t this just the duck tales theme song? except worse?

    • The singer of Duck Tales (awhoo-oo!) at least sang with his entire voice, rather than some creepy, breathy, metallic “candy, candy, in my van! get into my windowless van!”-style noise.

  6. Vote for whom? I didn’t quite catch his name. Perhaps it should have been mentioned in the song a little bit more often?

  7. “Weinstein, I wrote this song for us, for all we’ve been through, fighting the good fight. It’s called. “My struggle” “

  8. Can we commission The Pangea Live (or is their name The Pangea and the banner is advertising the fact that they’re Live?) to write a theme song for Dale Peterson?

  9. “Weinstein’s son Scott, who goes by his stage name Scott Leigh and runs his own entertainment company, produced the campaign ad. Leigh said he approached his father to do the ad because he had the experience and ability to do it at a low cost to the campaign.’I know some people in the biz and really our only big costs were the cameraman and rental of the venue.’ Leigh explained further, ‘He isn’t an R&B or Hip Hop kind of guy, but we needed to shake it up so we went with rock.’”

    –Scott Leigh, the artist.

  10. Is that the coach who was rapping in the Everybody Dance Now Video? Did he make it big?

  11. So Tim and Eric are directing everything now?

  12. Mike Weinstein’s finger is so on the pulse of youth culture that he’s cutting off the circulation. Oh, and we’ll need to amputate.

  13. jesse and the rippers didn’t even make songs/videos this lame. and that was on a family sitcom…in 1992.

  14. I’m from the Midwest so I’m surrounded by nutsos too but this only furthered my (well researched) belief that Florida consistently turns out the weirdest of weird-y mcweirdersons.

  15. He’s gotta chiggity-check himself before he elect himself.

  16. I feel like this was made by a Brigham Young University graduate.

  17. Oh I get it. Mike Weinstein is the singer and that old dude in a suit is some old dude in a suit designed to give Mike political credibility with the fine senior citizens of Florida’s District 19. Well played Mike Weinstein, well played.

  18. i thought that the drug smuggling and blatant election fixing was bad, but i think i can safely say that florida is still crawling to new lows.

  19. They should have commissioned Mark Gormley to write the theme song. Instant landslide.

  20. Yikes Yikes Yikes Weinstein, amirite, guys?

  21. Can someone PLEASE gif the girl who pushes her boobs together at around 1:50????

  22. Can I just throw some mad props at this little bit of sublime fucking poetry:

    “America is a gigantic country, home to millions of people, and we don’t always agree on the way it should be governed. Heck! We RARELY agree, hahaha.”

    Ugh. Woof. Shit like this cracks me up even more than the videos. I will never quit this blog.

  23. From the screen shot, I thought it was K-Strass.
    So, no matter how good this video is, I will be disappointed.

  24. Vague idea platforms and buzz words rhyme better than specific details about anything he’ll actually do.

  25. Speaking of cool political ads, recently I was surprised to find a political ad genuinely entertaining: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWrgmT_Vl7Q
    Although I may just be easily amused. “Ha ha! He’s flapping his arms like a bird!” – Me

  26. sometimes I’m amazed that anybody in this country manages to get elected at all.

  27. Oh crap, you guys, this is my FL State Rep! Seriously, I live in this guy’s district. I would apologize for this silliness, but to be totally honest I’m getting really tired of apologizing for my home state so I wash my hands of the whole situation. Jacksonville: We gave the world Lynyrd Skynyrd, Molly Hatchet, Limp Bizkit, Yellowcard and now this. Austin, TX we are not.

  28. I’m just waiting for someone to record a version of the Always Sunny campaign ad.

    “Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you, thank you. If you vote me, I’m hot. What? Taxes, they’ll be lower… son. The democratic vote is the right thing to do Philadelphia, so do.”

  29. [IMG]http://i30.tinypic.com/59nvb.jpg[/IMG]

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