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Late yesterday, “Lady of Interest,” Lindsay Lohan, was sentenced to 90 days in jail, followed by a 90-day inpatient treatment program for violating the terms of her DUI probation. (See her cry here.) It is the inevitable culmination of years of self-destructive behavior. Isn’t it crazy that she is only 24 years old? Considering the fact that it seems like she’s been a sloppy-faced mess for 12 of them? Personally, my favorite part of the proceedings (which I did not watch, and paid almost no attention to, because give me a break, but still, we live in a world where this is what we think and talk about now, so, sorry, Ancient Philosophers) was when Lindsay’s father Michael Lohan submitted a formal letter to the judge asking him not to make his daughter “a statistic.” LOLOLOL. Right. Sounds like someone picked up a paperback copy of Clockers in the prison library. (Michael Lohan was sent to jail in 2005 for Shirt Crimes.) Anyway: perhaps this will be a good thing for Lindsay Lohan. Perhaps it will provide her the time and space to get sober and reassess her priorities. And perhaps it will be like when Paris Hilton went to jail: completely unconsidered and ignored, shrugged off like last season’s furs. In either case, you have a choice before you: to talk about Lindsay Lohan’s prison sentence in the comments, or to post pictures of animals using sporting equipment.
The court will recess while you make your decision.
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Keep it classy.
yeah, that shit is a bit much. “i respect you and the court, your honor, i swear! but i have a crafty message for you written on my hands which i am sure that none of the 900 cameras zoomed in on my duckface will not capture.” what a dipshit.
I was surprised to find that there is such a thing as too much schadenfreude.
Lemur of Interest.
The sport is called “Staying Alive” because, SURPRISE, Linday Lohan is responsible for your survival!
Fuck LeBron, let’s Get That Cat!
Oh my god, I had a dream about a cat like that last night. I came home and found one in my room and was suddenly reminded that for the past few weeks or months I was supposed to be watching my coworkers cats, and had completely forgotten about them. I know that I only said I saw one cat but I keep using the plural, that’s because I remembered there were supposed to be two.
Now, how about both. Here’s Lindsay Lohan’s career riding a very tiny surfboard.
Totally let the sportsanimals commence, but like, I need to say this:
I know each person’s experience is his or her won experience, etc etc, but let’s all take a moment to think about how many non-celebrities in depressed areas of urban blight ever get the chance to be court-ordered into rehab. I’m guessing almost zero, especially if that person is African American! Certainly not those who follow a downward spiral with such gusto and fervor as LiLo.
Anyone got a dog on a skateboard?
Yesssssss
WORLD CUP FEVER
Scotland won the Elephant Polo World Cup. Cos we have all of the elephants?
Well, you know what they say: “What do Scotsmen wear under their kilts?” A: Elephants.
(huh?)
Aye. Me n ma wee laddie like to teckle each other oan Elephants whale listnin tae they Black Ayed Peas cunts. ‘LET’S GIT THAS STERTED, KEN?’
Ken? Ken.
Vroom vroom!
This is the photo of our generation.
Oh SNAP!
The Western Pennsylvania Steel White Quarterback does not mate decorously.
My sister informs me she is seeing this guy;
SPORTZ, LOHANZ, GOSSIPZ.
By ‘my sister’ I mean ‘I already knew this’.
Oh Jawbone!
Yeah. I should convert to Jezebel now.
sic.
Sports related, my animal bookie:
Go Germany! Don’t mess this one up, Octopus!
tooooo late
GUINEA PIG PLAYING BOCCE
Deciding which Air Bud film to go with was my Sophie’s Choice.
HA HA! BANANAS! COS MONKEYS EAT BANANAS! HA HA!
maybe lindsay just ate too much sushi?
Uhhh…there was something about the juxtaposition that made me think…
LEAVE LINDSAY A-LOHAN!!
I could watch this all day.
I adore this gif. kitten practicing to be a fireman – PERFECT.
This monkey currently has a higher batting average than Ryan Braun. #ohsnap #jokesnoonewillgetbutme
Milwaukee Monsters represent?
“I’m on a horse”
Fuck tinypic. Try this one out you guys…
http://imgur.com/
As a proud Doxie owner, I wish I could upvote this a million times!
I am really very sad for lindsay. May god give her patience to bear this tragedy.
Lovefilm DVD
May God give him the strength to get out of trouble, i know this is very big problem for lindsay. don’t worry lindsay the way I am with you all one day be with you.
Force Factor
really nice blog. I really like it.
Muscle Morph
I think Lisndsay is not criminal and she is more innocent and i would like to say there government please leave her.
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I think Lindsay is innocent , not a criminal and she’s very beautiful and she’s fan more love her and i like her so much, i love you Lindsay.
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Its really very said, and i think lindsay is innocent, she didn’t do anything..
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I don’t think Lisndsay is innocent.
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Lindsay lohan is look like a innocent but i don’t think she’s innocent.
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