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The Tribeca Film Festival and American Express have launched a contest in which people upload their best one minute pitch for a movie, and the winner’s idea will actually go into production. Neat. That is, of course, how all the best movies are made, including Citizen Coin, Godfellers, and The Battle of Shaker Heights. Anyhow, a popular website FOR MEN ONLY, Asylum.com, took a moment from its usual schedule of posting lists of “The 100 Smallest Bikinis Draped Over Beer Cans,” or whatever, to find and compile what they considered to be the “worst” entries in the My Movie PItch contest, and you have to hand it to them, they did a REALLY good job. The pitches that they found are very bad pitches! Some of them are basically unwatchable! I don’t mean the theoretical movie idea sounds unwatchable, I mean the one minute video of a person describing their idea is unwatchable, forget the movie.
However, one of these pitches towers above the rest. And so I call upon the “agents” of Videogum Everywhere to prepare yourselves for another mission. This one is easy: simply watch the young man’s pitch after the jump for a terrifying horror movie called Gesundheit, and at the end of the video you will be prompted to vote for him. Vote for him. Mission accomplished.
People are running the grocery stores, the government is trying to figure out what’s going on, and this time, it’s kind of biological. Seriously, let’s please get Gesundheit made into a real movie. This is our big shot! Fuck you, Ari Gold! (Thanks for the tip, Jane.)
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isn’t this basically the happening? m night shamalyan, you have sunk so low!
This guy is kind of adorable. Bless you indeed.
yeah, i can’t mock. he seems completely pleasant.
I loved his smile when he said the title of the movie. <3
He had that “man this is the best fucking idea ever, how could I lose?” look on his face. It was tragically adorable.
I STILL think its AWESOME!!!
Http://www.twitter.com/GesundheitGuy
Agreed.
Sneezing, the ONE thing all humans have in common.
To quote Ben Franklin, “The only things certain in life are death and–ACHOO!”
“Some people might think this movie pitch is funny, but it’s snot.” — Bazooka Joe
“This movie pitch is snot very good” – Jay Leno
Gesundheit. Blessings will be given. By God.
Gesundheit: If you see one movie this allergy season, achoose this one.
i’ll let myself out
@GesundheitGuy
I dunno, Achoo always seemed pretty harmless to me.
Done and done. I think I’ve done all I can for today, back to sleep!
Here’s my movie pitch:
There is this planet with mayonnaise oceans and mountains covered in lobsters that speak Dutch. The world is ruled by an evil family of small children that never age and always wear overalls. The poor people of the planet are terribly oppressed–they work all day long and can only afford to eat boiled cardboard and frozen smoke for lunch.
In the sky, two suns; at night, three moons, one of which kind of looks like a pervy old man looking at you, so walking at night on this planet is creepy to the max.
So, there is all this oppression and lobster stuff going on and only one person who can save everyone: a nameless young woman with a peg leg and a plastic bag full of green peas.
She appears from the west, from across the Western Mayonnaise Ocean, and is pretty much a total bad ass. Can she pass the Dutch speaking lobsters and the mutant pancakes that ride on scooters while listening to death metal? Can she make her way through the maze like corridors of the infant palace to face the evil children face to face? Can she gently push them over so they shatter easily? Will she discover the terrible secret of the planet and her own origin and then scream at the sky while shaking her fist?
Look, if you’re going to plagiarize Nicholas Sparks, at least get it right! The oceans are made of hollandaise sauce!
Thanks Mans, now I really want a lobster roll for lunch.
Every time I’m about to hit the thumbs up button, my stomach lurches at the thought of an ocean of mayonnaise. Unless, is the ocean made of the Smashing Pumpkins song “Mayonnaise”? I’ll upvote that for sure.
I believe this was called “Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs”.
And now I’m hungry.
Frozen smoke is an aperitif on my home planet. Imagine a planet so poor that an aperitif is your lunch!
it’s good to see 50 getting back to a healthy weight.
Thass Raciss.
This guy has taken the myth that you stop breathing when you sneeze to its logical conclusion.
the only way to survive is to master the impossible feat of sneezing with your eyes open. i smell a sequel!!!
Gesundheit 2!! i like the way u THINK!
@GesundHeitGuy
Let’s fast-track this. -Zyrtec
of course Zyrtec wont work! its doesnt even work now lol
@GesundHeitGuy
C’mon you guys, this is basically a movie about Ring Around the Posy!!!
I can get behind that.
You know that song is about the Bubonic Plague, right? Yes it is.
In general, I don’t actually watch the videos on here because my 432 inch computer screen faces the door of my cube (which is great for confidential HR information) and my boss slinks around like a panther, and I don’t want to get fired because I just started this job and I actually like it. But I watched this one and, I mean, yes,it is awful and his refusal to look directly into the camera is very, very unsettling. But I would probably see Gesundheit, and maybe even Gesundheit 2: Eyes Wide Open.
Is it possible I’m on the wrong blog? Maybe I should go to theworst.com and sign up there instead.
And after “Gesundheit 2: Eyes Wide Open”, just six more until we can have “Gesundh8″.
Gesund-TIGHT!
He had me at, “people running into grocery stores.”
He got me at “everything is amuck”
Just another thing we need, another campy horror film about people who are murdered when they sneeze.
But really, this sounds good. Like, Troll 2 good. Got my vote.
“It’s almost Spring! Get to the southern hemisphere!”
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
BOO-urns!
i accept the challenge to bring ‘Gesundheit’ to life, see you in a couple weeks
They can use this as the trailer!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2QAGVMlns4
i like it!! LOL
Or this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USJrgjig6wY
Correct me if I’m wrong, but at the start he says its a ”Whore Movie”.
it got my vote for that.
so basically Bird Flu: The Movie? well if The Social Network can get made…
Shoot, I can’t make fun of him. I kind of want to kiss his cheek and pat his head.
awww thanks!!! =) I’d Let U!
@GesundheitGuy
Wait, is this a biopic? Because he’s basically describing my life every time the pollen count gets high.