If you want to go hard, obviously, you have to use NSFW language. Headphones UP!

And that is how you go hard. (Thanks for the tip, Benjamin.)

Comments (80)
  1. Why is he asking me how the lead tastes? Doesn’t he know it is dangerous to eat lead? (And it tastes sweet!)

    I know all about the dangers of lead, my neighborhood is awesome with it!

    • S Burlington college ghetto? Old houses hastily remodeled into apartments for the Champlain kids? Lived in one of those. When they repainted they had to wrap the house in plastic. Like a sandwich.

      • Oh man, you don’t know that it’s like, when you live in the North End, you gotta stay tough (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKKEWg2BIGY). We’re not supposed to plant any food in the ground cause it’ll have too much lead in it.

        We recently painted our house and, sure, we were probably supposed to wrap it up, but who has the time for that! Scrape and paint over, hell yeah!

        • Oh I will know soon enough. My former/future roommate has informed me that it is ONE or die. She is, of course, on a farm in the middle of Alaska right now with no electricity or connection to the outside world, leaving me on my own to navigate the one-way streets and orange houses via irritatingly vague Craigslist postings.

          We could be neighbors so. very. soon.

  2. Who’s more adorable? These rolly polly children or a fluffy kitten? My money’s on the kids.

  3. They are so hard right now.

  4. I remember when I was young, white and in the suburbs. I just idolized rappers soooo much. I mean, shooting people in the head while getting your dick sucked while snorting a line while flipping off a police officer while laying down a hit vocal track in the studio. I mean, what else should I have idolized? All that stuff is so great. And turns out, I did become a rapper when I grew up, so follow your dreams, kids!

  5. That was really boring.

  6. That is so hard, I’m going to make Captain America’s shield out of it.

  7. How is that baby a granddaddy?

  8. Oh, so this is what Twihards are.

  9. Stuff like this makes me really glad youtube wasn’t around when I was that young. Thankfully, I am able to hide the cassette tapes of me rapping over the instrumental b-sides of Fresh Prince singles.

    • Seriously — my friends and I used to videotape our synchronized dances to Vogue and Love Shack. Shudder to think.

    • I used to take a stick horse, hang it upside-down from the basement ceiling and rap into its mouth while wearing aqua OP shorts and a Kentucky Wildcats t-shirt.

      Did I mention I was wearing Roos–when you GO HARD, you have to COME HARD, son.

      (I can’t believe I just said that.)

      • Was this the early version of your patented exercise routine?

      • I still wear Roos…wait, should I be embarrassed?

        • Nope, Roos are the third greatest kicks after Asics and Chucks. And, actually, I’d suggest that it’s really a matter of choosing between Asics and Roos, because a pair of Chucks are always necessary, and having both Asics and Roos but no Chucks would be wicked weird.

          • The thing about Roos was, you could put your money in that pocket, but I’ll be damned if I could ever get it out again.

            The only embarassing part of my story was the UK t-shirt.

          • I actually own all three. Am I one of the cool kids now? Will my jacket be arriving in the mail or by special delivery? I’m very excited.

          • I’m gonna look really, really good in that.

          • You rule chaka khans moms, you know all the coolest sneakers. And wait. Is that your pup in the photo? Cause I have meant one of the towns dauchunds, and you might actually dislike me.

            Also, if you get a green jacket and walk around town with it while wearing one of the kicks, with the others around your neck, when I see you I will act like you’re one of the Monkees.

          • That is, in fact, the very recently, very sadly deceased Chaka Khan. He was a Burlington monster for a while, although we didn’t take him out much due to the barking (SO MUCH BARKING). We have another dachshund, Kubla Khan (get it? you get it) who doesn’t get out too too much, but if you met him you’d remember, he’s a red brindle piebald (purebred dog nerd alert, guys, sorry) and he looks like a miniature beagle.

            I don’t want to explore what you did to that dachshund to potentially make me dislike you. If I wear a green jacket it will be a vintage suade full length trench with bell sleeves. There will be no mistaking me.

          • Sure wish I’d spelled “suede” correctly.

          • I’m really sorry about Chaka Khan. And I haven’t yet met Kubla Khan, though someday I may. I meet a lot of dogs. I probably meet more dogs than people. I’m serious. My roomate and I sometimes send each other “Dog of the Day” text messages. I also am more likely to say hello to a passing dog than a passing person. I also know more neighborhood cats than people. Sometimes I feel like I have my own ONE version of “REDACTED talks to animals.”

            I didn’t do anything to the other dachshund, I just met their owner once, then the next time she saw me I was trying to pick up her friend. But in my defense, her friend was wearing a hat and she wasn’t. Then I saw her another time and she was less friendly.

            Vintage, full-length, suede trench? Frickin awesome.

          • Definitely not me, I don’t think I have any friends you would be trying to pick up. I do have friends that wear hats, though. Small world.

            Chaka Khan was the best. If you ever had met him he would have barked frantically, and then decided you were a-ok, and then cuddled up to you with a look of desperate love.

          • You just called all your friends unattractive and completely uninteresting?

            Also, love dogs that pull that trick. Also love the dogs that are polite in their friendliness — they look at you, make eye contact, nudge a little towards you, you reach towards them and both sides are happy.

          • Fortunately every time I tell one of my friends about VG they laugh politely and stop listening, so I am fairly certain they’re not lurking around. And, if they were, my cover would have been blown a long time ago – Chaka was well known. And this is a safe space? Right? Where we can tell our secrets and call all of our friends unattractive and completely uninteresting? No?

            All of my friends are hot and fascinating, then. All of them.

          • This thread is now just fucking ridiculous. But walking home last night I saw some people leaving the Radio Bean/OP area as I was heading past it, and one of the girls was wearing a hat and the other wasn’t. I was all, Oh man, maybe that’s chaka khans mom, but I wasn’t with anybody so I couldn’t pretend to have been talking about VG, just shout, VIDEOGUM!, though I did consider shouting, Steve Winwood!, as if I saw someone I knew named Steve Winwood. I also completely forgot to check what sneakers she was wearing, and when we passed each other, she wasn’t crazily shouting about Videogum.

            Cool story.

    • I was thinking that exact thing while I watched that. Thankfully, all video evidence of the Forest Hills Posse (Slick T and Cool Bobby H representin the 401!) has been lost to the sands of time.

  10. The Once and Future RAEDs

  11. Gaaaah. As soon as Grandaddy K (ugh) opened his mouth I had to shut it down!

  12. obviously, michele obama’s message has not reached these youths

  13. At first I was like these kids definitely beat the low self esteem into nerds at school, but as the video went on I become more and more unsure of my initial reaction…

  14. “Big E and Grandaddy K, y’all, showin’ our heads move while we read lyrics from a billboard or somethin’ of equivalent size. We look like we skeet shootin’! PULL!”

  15. Spiders on yo bed! Oh shit!

  16. Around the minute mark I started to wonder whether they would ever move, much less go that hard.

  17. “This is the hardest I’ve ever been, motherfucker!”
    — Harry Knowles


    • Benjamin said it would just be the tip.

      • I had to explain what “just the tip” meant to a friend recently. It was crazy awkward.

        • especially when it is a sexually inexperienced “girlfriend” or “boyfriend”

          • This time, fortunatly, just an already awkward friend.

            I have, however, somehow had to explain the shocker to a more sexually experienced girl, on the first night I stayed over. That was really, really awkward, expecially because like the next time we saw each other, I had to explain something else, then, after the long silence, explain how I’m not into these things, I just happen to know them. Maybe the second bit was the Spiderman. Or the Donkey Punch. God, I hope it wasn’t Donkey Punch. It was probably Donkey Punch.

          • *furiously googling “the spiderman”*

          • Let me know how that turns out for you.

  19. Those kids are gonna get so much pussy this summer.

  20. Can we add that vuvuzela sound to this?

  21. Nice clear enunciation, recited all the words in the allotted time: one hundred out of a hundred percents.

  22. Granddaddy K looks disturblingly like my Aunt Barbara.

  23. Future leaders of America right there, HOLLA

  24. Who knew Crabbe and Goyle could rap so well?

  25. Never said this before, never thought I would: Tipper might have had a point.

  26. non-grandaddy kid had an excellent line that was actually very close to “i’m sorry but i am going to poop on your raps.”

    (look, i’m not listening to that again to verify it. but that graffiti is goin’ on yo tombstone)

  27. Dre seriously does not approve.

  28. If those two would just lay off the nachos a bit, they might not have to go so hard.

  29. Are they saying “Go Hog” at the beginning?

  30. Ginger Bruthaz–Makin’ Yo Rap Look Str8 Like Poo: the mix tape.

    Goin’ hard this July, suckaz.

  31. For all of you who couldn’t make it this far, and lord knows it was hard for me, the young fellow on the right actually utters the words “makin yo rap look straight like poo”.


  32. Dammit, me and Rachel E, we’re likethis

    *sorry re: your game. my bad. your comment was funnier. :(

  33. Yeah, few things make me grimace than white boys using the n-word without any sense of irony.

    Well, it wouldn’t help much if I was ironic. But this is really bad :(

  34. jerry o connell SUCKS at rapping

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