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Oh good grief. During her Senate testimony yesterday to determine whether or not she is qualified to serve a life-term on the Supreme Court of the United States of America, one of the most powerful positions in the country, Elena Kagan was briefly “questioned” about the new Twilight movie, and whether or not she is on Team Edward or Team Jacob. (Video after the jump.) Now, look, I’m all for having fun in this life while we can. Lord knows, 2012 is less than two years away. And I subscribe to the worldview that people shouldn’t take themselves and things so seriously, even important people with very serious jobs. But, you know, sometimes they should? Like, President Barack Obama doesn’t always have to take himself seriously, BUT SOMETIMES HE SHOULD REALLY TAKE HIMSELF VERY SERIOUSLY. Similarly, Senators and Supreme Court Justice Nominees can see the lighthearted humor in something, they are human beings like the rest of us, living in a complicated and absurd world, of course they can see the lighthearted humor in something, JUST MAYBE NOT DURING THE FUCKING SENATE CONFIRMATION HEARINGS, AND ESPECIALLY NOT TWILIGHT. What is this, a Junior High cafeteria?
Shut up, Amy Klobuchar (D-MN).
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Don’t blame me, I voted for Lestat.
Minnesota elects only the most serious Senators.
Godsauce, I want to fight you on this just due to MN pride, but I can’t. And that hurts worst of all.
That’s your legislative delegation!
And governers.
She’d better answer carefully, Ruth Bader Ginsburg is definitely team WOOF!
Do Over?
She’d better not be team Jacob, it’s a well accepted fact that Justice Antonin Scalia is a blood-sucker.
Bella: Your skin is pale white and ice cold. You speak like you are from a different time and you don’t go out in the sunlight. I know what you are.
Justice Scalia: Say it–out loud.
Bella: A strict constructionist.
This comment is so good. Mans, you make me want to be a better Monster…
i kinda want to downvote this out of the fact that it made me imaging a sexually charged scene between scalia and k.stew. which is like uber barfy.
You need to focus only on the text itself…
Just focus on all of the scenes where Justice Stevens walks around with his shirt off.
Team John Paul!
Ginsburg went to pre-school with Edward.
This is my senator. Literally. This is the senator I voted for. And as embarrassed as I am at the moment, I would still vote for her a thousand times over Mark Kennedy.
word.
there is nothing less important than these confirmation hearings. that was actually the first QUESTION asked in one since 1991, and that question was about pubic hair.
It could have been worse, she could have asked a Federal preemption question relating to the relative control Vampire Kings and Queens have in their respective states on True Blood.
Someday, when this comment dies after a long and proud life full of being the best, I will make sure that it is burned on a floating pyre like a viking (or Other). This is the only fitting tribute.
“What is Twilight?” – my grandchild, reading from a newspaper he is about to throw into the fire as we sit huddled around a fire in the charred out remains of the Library of Congress
*death rattle* – me
“I wish you wouldn’t.” Great.
I can just imagine that wonderful thought of hatred Kagan has swirling in her mind towards these people.*
*I may be confusing Kagan with myself, because I happen to be very hateful.
That was so awkward. She didn’t even try to frame it well, as if it were a matter of vital importance, thus causing the auditorium to burst out laughing when they realize she is merely referring to the worst book series of all time. Comedy is dead.
To be fair, I think it’s actually against the rules to be anything but insufferably boring, particularly vocally.
Was this a stealth attempt to get the sexual orientation question on the floor?
“Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward?”
“I’m on Team My Sexual Preferences Are Private And Irrelevant.”
“Team Whatever I Can Get!”
i think it was more a not-at-all-stealth attempt to shoehorn in some joke she thought of the night before when those stupid girls were keeping her awake.
mrs. klobuchar: “‘edward or jacob, edward or jacob’ that’s all they can talk about…ha, edward v. jacob, you know, like a court case? ha. that’d be funny to talk about tomorrow. maybe i could bring it up to lighten the mood.
mr. klobuchar: “just fucking kill me now.”
In other news…
Gabe, I’m glad Microsoft is still paying you to run adds for the Kin even AFTER they’ve announced that they’re killing it.
Who is the Senatorial version of Joe Barton? Because that person needs to apologize to me and America for this.
Still waiting for her to weigh in on Ecks v. Sever.
In the words of another famous vampire: “Blah.”
Not to be all Seriousgum on us, but this is exactly what is wrong with the Supreme Court nomination process. Senators from the friendly party refuse to ask tough questions, and nominees refuse to answer any asked by the opposing party. We learn nothing about the candidate except how evasive they are, and the American people – who will live with this person until they decide to retire or die – are shortchanged by a hideously broken process. Either nominees should be forced to provide answers to pertinent political questions asked, or the entire hearings should be scrapped as a farce.
This ridiculous charade started after Robert Bork’s nomination failed when he let it slip that he preferred Daryl Hall, and called John Oates’s mustache “desperate and more than a little sad.”
I think we all know who Senator Klobuchar wishes she were confirming.
Minnesota “The Land of 10,000 Chuckles”
I was really hoping Gabe had simply forgotten to add “You Can Make It Up” to the beginning of the post title. But, no, this is a very real thing.
I actually re-read the title of the post to make sure it was not a “You can make it up” post. Instead it was a “You can make me barf” post. And I say that as a Twilight fan (yeah, I know. shut up.)
I am so tired of politicians pussyfooting around the issues! Senator Klobuchar, if you are going to open that door, you need to walk through it. The world needs to know.
You guys think THAT’S bad!? Wait till you see the confirmation hearings of Judge Reinhold.
Mock Trial with J. Reinhold?
Dang, I was hoping this post was somehow going to be about Mates of State.
Team Boo-urns
All the comments on this post get my upvotes. You guys are seriously bringing it today and I appreciate the lulz.