A lot of young people these days don’t have what it TAKES. As a 57-year-old man, I am telling you, the road ahead is long and bumpy and you’re bound to break an axle or two while fording the river, and half of your traveling companions will contract cholera, and at some point you will sell your daughter to savages for a bolt of cloth. That is just what life is like. You can’t stop it, and it’s no use denying it. But if you’re lucky, and that is a big IF, but if you are lucky, one night in the distant future, your body full of puncture wounds from the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune, you will drag that old bag of bones into the middle of the dance floor of some space bar by the side of the galaxy, and when a popular song comes on the hover-stereo, or the community brain chip signal, or whatever, you will dance to that song like there isn’t nothing in this world that could ever slow you down. You will dance ridiculously and hilariously, yes, but with a relentless energy that will make your younger counterparts look sluggish and stupid. You will dance to that song with such abandon, with such a thirst for life that others will be EMBARRASSED. “Look at that old man dance,” the people will say. “We are doing it all wrong.”

Like I said, this happens only if you’re lucky. Most likely, you are dead long before this happens. From dysentery. (Thanks for the tip, Chris.)

Comments (34)
  1. “Dancing ridiculously to Lady Gaga at social events is wasted on the young”
    ~ George Bernad Shaw

  2. Sweet moves, Gabe.

  3. I don’t care what Juilliard said Gabe, your son is talented.

  4. There was an option on the Oregon Trail to sell your daughter to savages for a bolt of cloth?! I wish I had known, then I would have won the contest in 5th grade for sure.

    In other news, I wish this old man was my grandfather. Mine just sits around singing songs from Oklahoma

  5. Mia Michaels really outdid herself with this choreography.

  6. Is it just me or did he look angry?

  7. At first, I wanted to punch those two dudes in their faces. Then I was kind of glad that at least someone was dancing with that man instead of just watching him like a bunch of dickheads. Then I kind of liked them when they shook the man’s hand at the end. It was a wild ride, emotionally.

  8. the next time someone criticizes a musical by asking, “How does everyone just HAPPEN to know the same dance?” I’ll just point them to this and say, “HA! Don’t you feel stupid now?!” And they will.

  9. Abe Vigoda is going to great lengths to prove to everyone he’s not dead.

  10. 1. This is absolutely awesome and I want to steal all his moves

    2. Off topic, but I want to share something terrible. On Saturday, I checked the USA-Ghana game on Yahoo sports, and discovered a commenter base so full of horribleness and racism that it is even worse than Youtube commenters. In a few minutes I saw the Ghana team referred to as gorillas, endless rips on the poverty and third world conditions of Ghana, comments that essentially told the Ghana team to go back to throwing spears at each other, and a avatar of the star of david with a swastika inside. So what I’m saying is, frak yahoo users.

    • About Racism! I read in the newspaper that France 2, public channel in France (duh!) had a transmission via satelite from Washington during the game, but dind’t have one in Ghana. The reporter named it “supernatural racism”, talking about how even after the game, they interviewed a “tall american who spoke perfect french”, while in the background an africanamerican shouted “Go Ghana!”, but wasn’t asked for comment.
      What I’m saying is, thank you for bringing this up. Racism is bad.

      • Did you catch the ESPN announcers talking about how the US wouldn’t be able to beat Ghana athletically so we’d have to win by outsmarting them? Later they reiterated that Ghana was physically better, but the US were tactically stronger. Amazing.

        • OK, but I mean Ghana was actually clearly the much faster team (and very young). I watched the Canadian broadcast so I didn’t actually hear the comments, but said in the right way, most of that just seems like a fact.

  11. What’s really impressive is that he perfected this routine back when he used to work construction, and could often be spotted dancing on a girder high above the New York City skyline.

  12. I’m pretty sure this guy is the modern day Leland Palmer dancing off his grief.

  13. Charles Bukowski has some serious dance moves.

  14. Good to see the Six Flags guy getting some work again.


  16. This is the new thing I’m going to post on peoples’ walls when Facebook has just reminded me it’s their birthday.

  17. Damn. Why did that video have to stop when Gloria Estefan & The Miami Sound Machine started?

  18. Once again, we’ve all been played by viral marketing for Step Up 3D.

  19. Watched this while listening to Ida Maria’s “Oh My God”, surprisingly the two go really well together.


    You show ‘em how it’s done, Doctor

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