Cool party. Cool FAMILY! Happy birthday, you. (Via BuzzFeed.)

Comments (68)
  1. Anyone have the number for child and family services?

  2. No fair, CNN! Leave some Peabodies for the rest of us!

  3. I proudly hold the world record for fewest pairs of tighty-whiteys worn at once.

  4. If you watch this video backwards, you end up in jail.

  5. That’s the worst piñata I’ve ever seen.

  6. Stanley Tucci approves

  7. Step 1- Collect underpants
    Step 2-
    Step 3 – PROFIT!

  8. It’s good that this kid could raise awareness about the importance of wearing extra underwear on your birthday.

  9. You can’t describe all those people as family and friends. It’s more like abusers and schadenfreudes.

  10. I thought a “birthday suit” was when you take off your drawers.

  11. Poor kid looks so terrified at the end. Almost like the people claiming to be his parents kidnapped him and forced him to wear a ton of underwear.

  12. It’s times like these I wish I had the Photoshop skills to put this kid in a Calvin Klein ad

    • I was about to do this for you, but I felt kind of icky putting this kid next to a crotch-grabbing Marky Mark. I think he’s suffered enough (Also, no jail for me)

  13. I don’t really understand the whole “proud of him” part. He stood but then his legs got tired and then he lay down as other people put underwear on him. Is this like a parent thing? Man, my (future) kids are going to have to do way more to earn my pride. Way, way more.

  14. Proud? The parents are proud? No. This is how the interview should have gone:

  15. “I’m so proud of him.” These words have never sounded sadder.

    • He probably will. I look at a whole lot of resumes at my work and have seen terribly ridiculous things. Including the person who felt it was necessary that potential future employers know their children had died, at like 20. I’m not certain that depressing people is the way to get hired.

      • Not to get all serious, but the person might have done it to explain a gap in employment. It’s a faux pas, but it happens all the time. Plus, people think it might garner sympathy.

        • It didn’t read as either of those things. It was presented coldly and oddly, at the bottom of the resume with other random bio bits, he listed his wife’s name age, then his kid’s birthdate, then tossed in a parenthetical (deceased).

          There’s something crazy odd about the industry I work in where people’s resumes can be just absurdly bad, or just plain absurd. One guy mentioned wrestling an octopus.

          • At least he remembered to attach his martial arts resume in the first place.

          • You got a resume from Tyrone Slothrop?

          • But seriously here, wrestling an octopus has got to put you on the short list for whatever position you are applying for, right?

          • I hope he was applying for a position as a bouncer or bodyguard. Those skills could actually really come in handy in a worst-case scenario.

          • Superglue, I am in love with how that interview goes: “Okay, it’s 1 AM and the people in line start to realize they’re not getting in even though they’ve been standing there since 10, so they’re pissed off. Some of them are wasted and try to rush you, and one — okay, now, this is your worst-case scenario — is a giant octopus. How do you handle it?”

      • In my resume-reviewing days, I came across one guy who included his best bowling score.
        Did I mention he was applying at a bank?

        • Seriously! It’s so crazy, I love it. I’m going to be trying to think of other absurd things I’ve seen.

        • I recently brought someone in for an interview on the basis of them indicating they were a member of Mensa on their resume. I was really just curious to meet a proud Mensan (redundant?). It was about as I may have guessed. The Mensan was not hired.

        • I got one once from a girl who included her reasons for leaving each position, except they were pretty much all “I got fired because I didn’t get along with my boss.” Awesome job, good resume writing.

          Now all the resumes I see are for engineering positions so I don’t even know if they’re bad because I don’t understand the words.

          • Oh man! Another thing we have in common. I not only look at resumes and don’t understand the words, but I copy edit whole long reports without really understanding the words.

            Every time I say something about my job, I get more and more nervous a coworker is a lurker and will made a discovery…

      • I agree unless you work as a judge on Top Chef or something. In that case, it seems to really help. Does the P in ptsmith stand for Padma?

  16. This is the next generation’s version of Randy, Ralphie’s little brother who can’t get up because of his cumbersome snow suit.

    “I can’t get up! I CAN’T get UP!”
    - Li’l Jack Singer, rolling around on the ground while wearing 215 pairs of underwear

  17. Let this be a lesson that we can all attain our dreams, as long as we have the money to buy 215 increasingly large pairs of underwear.

  18. I just can’t believe this happened in Westchester. All my stereotypes of that place are blown now.

  19. I really need to get serious about training for that half marathon…

  20. This kid needs someone to rescue him from his crummy parents.

  21. Having watched 17 seconds of this video I now find Jeremy London’s plight 100% plausible.

  22. “Jack’s feet were asleep, so they laid him down and kept going.”
    - This fucking news report

  23. The thing I hate about this story is that this is NOT a hard record to beat. Anyone with an hour to kill an enough funds to buy 216 pairs of underwear could easily beat this kid’s record. If I didn’t have a shame center in my brain, I’d definitely go do it.

  24. Was there a five for one discount at Great Clips that week?

  25. Also, I am really glad we did not get to see pair #1 get put on!

  26. The only thing missing from this was the part where he really had to go to the bathroom. Careful camera work after that, let me tell you. Cause THAT would just be embarrassing.

  27. This needs to be Hugh Jackman’s new morning ritual.

  28. I sincerely hope the next news report shows some enterprising bully breaking the world record for atomic wedgies.

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