Human Being 1: Did you see Bristol Palin acting on ABC Family’s Secret Life of the American Teenager the other day?
Human Being 2: Oh no! I am so upset to have missed it.
Human Being 1: She was very good at acting on that program, and also that program is very good.
Human Being 2: Neither of those things surprise me. ABC Family’s Secret Life of the American Teenager just sounds good. And of course I would expect Bristol Palin, a young woman who people know only because of her special needs mom and her embarrassingly timed teenage pregnancy, to be good at acting.
Human Being 1: She’s very good.
Human Being 2: I’m not surprised.
Human Being 1: She doesn’t seem wooden or stilted in front of the camera at all. She seems entirely human and not like a robot made out of plastic and entitlement.
Human Being 2: Yes. I am not surprised by the things you are saying.
Human Being 1: Bristol Palin is a great actress.
Human Being 2: I believe you.

That is just a typical conversation that you might overhear nowhere ever. See Bristol Palin’s “acting” debut on ABC Family’s Secret Life of the American Teenager after the jump:

Human Being 1:My favorite part of her acting debut is how she is basically playing herself, but she can’t even do that very well.
Human Being 2: That was my favorite part also.

(Via Vulture.)

Comments (88)
  1. I’m very concerned we will only get to experience her acting brilliance for a short time. Bristol, please don’t #retire like your mom.

  2. I really believed that she wa Yo-Yo Ma. That’s what she was trying to convey, right?


    Human Beings 1 & 2: What is that guy’s problem?

  4. So I’m pretty sure this is just a push for Bristol to star in an upcoming Yo-Yo Ma biopic.

  5. Well the acting gene must come from someone in her family, I thought Trig did a pretty good job in Life Goes On.

    • He played a baby in the background of the pilot, and he cried on cue. What did you guys think I was talking about?

      • Wow, I never realized that so many people on here were Team Palin. We shouldn’t treat Trig different from the rest of his family just because he has Down syndrome. He’s still a Palin. Equal raggings-on for all Palins.

        • Agreed. Some may be Republicans and some Democrats. Some may be pro-life and some pro-choice. Some may be Team Edward and some Team Jacob. But, my fellow Americans, there is one self-evident truth in which we can all believe: the Palins are all equal in their worstness.

          • What are the odds Fraulein Palin reads this and it ends up on her Facebook page? I’m guessing pretty good.

          • I would also argue that Trig is likely the smartest member of his family.

          • This is a reply to sen_tankerbell but you know how this post-wagon is always breaking!

            Anyways, it made me really sad to think that Bristol Palin might read this and I thought ‘Jeez, she’s just a child and not really an actress, why should she have to hear all this mean stuff?’. But then I remembered that no one forces you into acting in abc family dramas when you have little to no previous acting experience. Grr, conflicted feelings of pity/not-so-pity!

        • We go easy on Trig because he’s probably not going to reproduce.

    • 2010 and we are still making Corky jokes………

    • I only down voted the comment out of my love of Life Goes On. I didn’t want the Life Goes On fan community to get wind of this. They rule the internet with an iron fist.

  6. Why is there a camp for teen moms AND musicians? Aren’t musicians probably responsible for most teen moms in the first place? Does Yo-Yo Ma wear vests?

    • And how do you get into a camp for teen mom musicians without realizing that it’s a camp for teen mom musicians? I guess that is probably addressed in the narrative, but I’m curious.

      • That’s how they get you! Curiosity about a baffling and terrible clip leads directly to obsessive watching and writing fanfiction in which Bristol and that 14-yr-old with a baby and so much eye makeup “make love” (that’s what they and you will call it) but probably their love is not accepted for a while or something except within the confines of lesbian teen mom musician camp that they end up at without even knowing that’s where they’re going!

        Anyway, that’s my prediction for you, tps12.

  7. So wait, is Bristol Palin’s character actually Yo-Yo Ma? Because I know that line seems like it should be sarcastic, but the delivery has me confused.

  8. Amanda Bynes only left acting because she was *intimidated* at how awesome Bristol’s acting was. ACTING, you guys!

  9. It’s hard to pinpoint the strangest/most awkward part of this, but I’m pretty sure it’s from 0:13-0:19. Also when did Bristol Palin get so scary looking? Is that what reproducing does to you?

  10. Well, she seems to be worse at acting than Paris Hilton, which is an accomplishment. So, congratulations, Bristol Palin? Your reward is to never try this again.

  11. Yo-Yo Ma is a terrible actress.

  12. Bristol Palin IS Yo-Yo Ma

  13. How many camps are there for teen mother’s who happen to also be extremely talented musicians? Is this the product of all those “One time, at band camp…” jokes?

  14. Ashley Greene left someone off her comediennes list.

    • I also like that you used the outdated feminine form of comedian. It’s important that these words have genders.

      • Well, people still say “actress,” so I don’t see why “comedienne” is out of vogue. I applaud Lorin’s usage, which was much more succinct than saying “list of female comedians.”

    • It did take me longer than it should have to realise she meant it as a joke and this wasn’t some david lynchesque dream sequence.

  15. Are we 100% sure they didn’t do that thing they used to do on Late Night with Conan O’Brien where they would take a picture of a celebrity and superimpose an actor’s mouth over their own so they could converse?

    Because I’m pretty sure that’s what they did here, only Bristol’s mouth was superimposed with her own. She’s just a big piece of cardboard. Turn her around and there’s probably a bullshit sign about Jesus and abstinence-only education.

  16. It’s just her maverick nature to not act like all the elites expect!

  17. Which one was Bristol, they both seemed like terrible actors.

  18. This episode is on my DVR. No, you shut-up!

  19. I don’t know why but I’m actually surprised at how bad that was.

  20. She reads her lines as if she only knows them phonetically, on top of being a terrible actor.

  21. So how long before Sara Palin starts complaining about how the internet has been unjustly mean to her daughter?

  22. is the secret life of an american teenager a show about how this girl has to go to a special house for pregnant teens because she has shamed her family and comes home from “vacation” to find her life back to normal except for her new stretch marks? if not – it should be b/c it is not entertaining to watch a fictional teenage girl ruin her life forever. a real girl on the other hand….is TV gold.

  23. Bristol Palin: I’m board.

  24. This just assures that my mother daughter fantasy will not be coming true in Wasilla, AK.

  25. With the exception of the first few seconds, you couldn’t even tell they were filming together. I bet they weren’t. That much raw, unadulterated talent in the same room can only lead to mega diva catfights.

  26. Does this mean we’re going to see Levi Johnston guest-star on “Hung” now?

  27. She acts as good as good as her mother governs! (thank you I will be here all day…except between 12-1 for lunch).

  28. Two words: uncanny valley.

    Okay, one more: yikes.

  29. Oh my God, she even sounds like her!!!!!

  30. Was there suppose to be sarcasm in her delivery?
    Maybe this explains why the Palins don’t get Letterman

  31. Butros Butros Golly. terrible.

  32. Can they just create a “Best Performance by a Teenage Mom Playing a Teenage Mom on a Very Serious and Relevant TV Drama” category at the Oscars and then have the Oscars TOMORROW so Bristol can get some recognition!!?!?

  33. Day four… missed call. Got a copy of the script today, it seems they want to play some kind of… freaking wizard…

  34. Here is how to say the dialogue in Spanish!!!

    Ser Humano 1: ¿Has visto a Bristol Palin que actúe en ABC Family vida secreta de las adolescentes de América, el otro día?
    Ser Humano 2: ¡Oh, no! Estoy muy molesto tener que perder.
    Ser Humano 1: Ella era muy bueno para que actúe en ese programa, y también que el programa es muy bueno.
    Ser Humano 2: Ninguna de esas cosas me sorprenden. Vida secreta de la familia del ABC de los adolescentes de América sólo suena bien. Y por supuesto espero que Bristol Palin, una mujer joven que la gente conoce sólo por sus necesidades especiales mamá y el embarazo adolescente vergonzosamente cronometrado, para ser bueno en la actuación.
    Ser Humano 1: Es muy buena.
    Ser Humano 2: No me sorprende.
    Ser Humano 1: No parece de madera o artificial frente a la cámara en todo. Ella parece totalmente humano y no como un robot hecho de plástico y el derecho.
    Ser Humano 2: Sí. No me sorprende por las cosas que está diciendo.
    Ser Humano 1: Bristol Palin es una gran actriz.
    Ser Humano 2: Te creo.

    • Sorry, don’t know what translation program you used, but you need to find another one. A lot of this doesn’t make sense.

      • I know, silent downvoter, I know–but seriously, as a bilingual person, I break out in hives when I see an electronic translation.

        To counteract my know-it-all-ness with some fun, here’s the translation, run back through the translator.

        Human Being 1: Have you seen acting Bristol Palin on ABC Family Secret Life of American Teenager, the other day?
        Human Being 2: Oh no! I’m very annoying to have to lose.
        A human being: She was too good to act in this program, and also that the program is very good.
        Human Being 2: None of these things surprised me. Secret Life of the ABC family of American teens just sounds good. And of course I hope that Bristol Palin, a young woman who people know only by special needs mother and teenage pregnancy embarrassingly timed to be good at acting.
        Human Being 1 is very good.
        Human Being 2: No wonder.
        A Human Being: It seems artificial wood or front of the camera at all. She seems fully human and not a robot made of plastic and law.
        Human Being 2: Yeah I’m not surprised by the things you are saying.
        A Human Being: Bristol Palin is a great actress.
        Being Human 2: I believe you.

        My favorite part is “I’m very annoying to have to lose.” C’mon, lol.

        I’ll show myself out.

  35. This show had a serious storyline about whether some kid who looks like he’s trying to be Danny Zuko could still reproduce after some other kid who randomly had Down’s Syndrome pegged him in the gonads with a football. My friend and I once made a game where we drank every time someone mentions teen sex or getting teen pregnant, and we couldn’t even get through a full episode. I’m just glad we live in a world where Teen Mother Music Camp is a real and thriving industry

  36. You guys are gonna be so embarrassed when her character turns out to be a Stepford Teen Mom and tries to kill the other chick.

  37. “We’re ALL teen moms, so you better shut up and get with the fucking program!”
    Is that how anyone else heard that line?

  38. i like how she can NEVER BLINK

  39. I know a person that looks exactly like Bristol Palin does in this clip.
    The actual sad part about that is that she’d be proud of it.

  40. You people are mean. Didn’t you even notice how her face and mouth and stuff never even moved once the whole time even when she was talking? That’s hard. Acting is hard you guys.

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