Oh wow. Oh no! “Oh Sookie”:

This is easily the best thing that has ever come out of True Blood. Obviously. Because that show is stupid and terrible, and this is stupid and AMAZING. “Leave a stain on your brain, can a Dogg get some love, won’t trick you like Eric and make you drink blood. [Hahahahha!] Sookie Stack-house, but Snoopie stack a [grip?], Sam ain’t a man he done turned into a bitch. [Whoa!] Bill ain’t for real, he ain’t true blood, Snoop is a G, I smoke true bud.” UNBELIEVABLE! Also: “Bring your best friend, Tara, I have some Eggs for her to eat.” Gross. But perfect. So, this is basically Snoop Dogg’s “Miracles.” But about vampires. On HBO. (Thanks for the tip, Milpool and Cat Smack.)

Comments (36)
  1. Snoop Dogg jumped the shark!

  2. I was looking for True Blood gifs to post but all the ones I could find were too NSFW for the comments so instead here’s a random amusing gif.

  3. What moisturizer does Snoop use? He looks the same here as he did in “Gin and Juice.”

  4. When P Diddy drops his latest single ‘Viva La Vinny Chase’ Its gonna be 1993 coast v coast warfare all over again!

  5. Did he really say suck my tru nutz? Come on snoop, this song is awful.

  6. Snoop can do no wrong in my book. It doesn’t matter that this song is terrible, because he’s Snoop, he does whatever the fuck he wants! He appears in other people’s songs and doesn’t even go along with the beat they have provided! He makes terrible movies but he’s still somehow amazing. Snoooooooooooooooooooooop!

  7. “Get a grip, man”

    - Dr. Dre, on set at Dr. Pepper commercial shoot

  8. Oh good, the universe got my letter.

  9. I am all over that shit! That sounds both legitimate and interesting!

  10. I can’t even imagine a better thing to wake up to than this. It’s definitely Snoop’s Miracles, in that it is something that I never want to stop listening to.

    “You know I get more pussy than your brother.”

  11. Snoop Did pioneer the human into dog transformation…

  12. Werepimp

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  14. When I first read the post title I thought it said SNOOKIE which caused me to vomit. No joke.

  15. this is better than his segment in katy perry’s abomination of a song “california gurls”, so things are looking up! get you that money, snoop!

  16. i’m legitimately sad that my computer at work doesn’t have sound :(

  17. I’m just super excited I got to be one of the first to share this with everyone. It brought me so much joy.

  18. “Okay, Dave, it’s a vampire roadhouse scene, and you’re dancing and you slip on some blood, and land in some vampire doo-doo. Splat.”

  19. Just hit the corner store… you know what we lookin’ for TRU BLOOD

  20. I listen to all of Katy Perry’s “California Gurls” because I know Snoop Dog is in it somewhere.

    • The version of California Gurls that they play on XM radio doesn’t have Snoop’s verse in it, and I get so mad everytime. That song is no good without him talking about bikinis, zucchinis, martinis, and no weenies.

  21. I love that he says “we can lay in THE bed” like there is one definitive bed to lay in (REMEMBER THAT BED?), and then they show it on the video, like “OH, the bed! The CLASSIC bed! Such a great character, that bed.”

  22. I had a Titus Andronicus video loading at the same time I was watching this, and all of a sudden it started in the background and I got super confused.

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