Did you guys watch President Obama’s first address to the nation from the oval office last night? He was, of course, speaking about the whole “giant hell hole in the floor of the fucking ocean pumping out millions of gallons of thick, black death” thing. I meant to watch it, and had every intention of watching it, and then, you know, it was life and I jumped into life, so I didn’t end up watching it. It seems important during this unending environmental crisis with international implications that threatens to dismantle the President of the United States of America that I let everyone know where I am at in terms of watching stuff on TV, you know? At some point today I will watch it on-line, or read the transcript (I don’t know which one yet, but I should probably write a whole new post explaining whichever one it ends up being with a thorough description of how I made my decision). But apparently it was awful? Everyone is saying it was awful. That’s too bad. Because the fact that there is A HOLE IN THE OCEAN that is GUSHING SO MUCH OIL LIKE SO MANY GUSHERS, is already pretty fucking bad. We don’t really need bad speeches from disappointing presidents, too.

So, we can talk about that, if you guys want. OR, we can talk about the video I have posted after the jump in which A DEER SHOWERS A CAT WITH KISSES!


“Way to bury the lede, Gabe.”
– Arthor Ox Sulzenbarger

“Well, first I had to make sure everyone knew about how I didn’t watch a thing one time, Artoro.”
– Gabe.

– Ocean

“I’m going to kiss this cat to DEATH!”
– Deer

“I’m dead, but it was great!”
– Cat

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Comments (66)
  1. Gabe, don’t think that just b/c you are friends with Michael K. Williams (i.e. you have his picture in your velcro tri-fold wallet) that you can bash on the President now. I caught that little swipe nestled in front of the cute video.

    • if you don’t think this president has been disappointing you haven’t been paying attention.

      • If you have impossibly high hopes for a public official, disappointment will most likely follow by default.

        • No one said anything about impossibility, just a little bit of follow through that doesn’t just screw us and help the corporate part of America. but ya know, downvote away because I’m not a fucking zombie.

          • You’re right that no one said anything about impossibility, but everyone was certainly thinking it. Just recall the euphoria that most felt the morning of November 5th. This was supposed to change everything, which, frankly, is a less than realistic perspective. I don’t deny that I myself am disappointed; I felt that same euphoria. I even feel class rage now and again. Obama is, however, only the most visible element of American democracy (not even the element responsible for its laws). One should note that this is an era of career politicians where every political figures takes those steps expedient to being reelected. No one goes into office to do what needs to be done. No one wants to both raise taxes and cut spending; that’s tantamount to political suicide (an awful term indicative of the political realities of the day). But that is what needs to be done to get the problem of the debt in order. Being disappointed in Obama does not make you “a fucking zombie,” but isolating him as the (sole) source of your political disillusionment ignores the realities of contemporary politics. He is only the most visible element of government, not its only efficacious element.

          • I should note that, in all fairness, I have not yet watched Obama’s speech from last night. So, maybe it is ultra disappointing in a bone-crushing sort of way?

          • Bleh, sorry. On principle I HAVE to downvote anyone who notes that they are not a “zombie,” or “sheep,” or “sheeple”

            It’s nothing personal!

  2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADGn1GABF0Q

    If only deers took to dogs the same way. :(

  3. I was about to make a brilliant photo-based joke about Gushers, the childhood fruit snack. Then I googled “gushers” with the safesearch off. Now I can’t remember what I was going to say.

  4. You didn’t warn us about the music in the video. Now we all have to go whittle.

  5. what do you mean “lately”?

    She saved the world.
    A Lot.

  6. That was enough to make me want to become a cat & befriend a deer.

  7. Sounds like we could all use a Birdie Report, STAT!

  8. apparently new orleans city government and plaquemines parish gov are starting to talk about evacuating the lower parishes due to how fucking toxic the air is.

    • You can come crash at my place if you need to, southernbitch.

      • i highly doubt they are going to need to evacuate orleans parish. you can only smell the oil a few days a week up here- but when you can, it’s awful. 3 or 4 hours of breathing the air will give me a whanging headache, so i can’t imagine what it must be like actually on the marshes down south. the real mess isn’t gonna hit us unless a hurricane comes and pushes the oil up the canals and spillways into lake pontchartrain. but what’s the chances of that happening? i mean, hurricanes always go west or east of new orleans, right? on the upside, we still have a surplus of formaldehyde infected shitholes fema trailers laying around to house anyone from the lower parishes. also, what with our 60,000 blighted properties slowly rotting in the mildewy heat, maybe we can just give every old fisherman a collapsing shotgun and that will bring our property values back. maybe this oil spill is exactly the economic stimulus that orleans parish NEEDS!

        • I live in New Orleans too, and I have yet to smell the oil. Everyone keeps telling me they smell it though. I think it is all in our heads…or maybe I can’t smell. And I also try to avoid the outdoors at all costs, so that could also be a factor. Goddamn muggy summers.

          • yeah, some of my friends/co-workers say they can’t smell it either, but it is most definitely around. the best description i can say for it is that it smells like thick crayons. the last time i remember smelling it really badly was last wednesday night. and i am insane and don’t run my air conditioner (it’s become like this obsession and it kinda makes me miserable but at least i don’t spend 400 on electricity) so when it’s bad at night there’s shit i can do about it.

          • O…M…G…I commend you on not running your a/c, but I literally think that I would melt without mine.

          • it’s a good excuse for me to hang out in bars from 5pm until 11pm! “ugh, my house is too hot, i’m going to finn mccools to sit in the A/C. and drink beer.”

        • Barack Obama doesn’t care about southern people/bitches.

  9. Try telling the people of Nigeria that the Gulf of Mexico oil spill is “unending”: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/may/30/oil-spills-nigeria-niger-delta-shell

  10. Sad news. Nick Madsen has started leaking hundreds of barrels of oil a day. He apparently wrote for BP as well

  11. Check out the website. There are drawings!!! BY CHILDREN!!!!!

  12. Your boyfriend thinks you are a toxic, oily threat to living things? ….Yeah, I can see that.

  13. If only we knew someone who could effectively deal with a ‘giant hell hole’

  14. I prefer the Winchesters. Hell, they threw the Devil into his own hellhole, maybe they can throw BP into theirs.

  15. President Obama also announced the Catstronaut program within NASA.

  16. Jesus, has that cat not heard of Lyme Disease?! Oh right- it’s a cat. That’s just my initial reaction to all deer

  17. My uncle did that to me once.

  18. From Stephen Hawking’s “A Brief History of Time”

    A well-known scientist (some say it was Bertrand Russell) once gave a public lecture on astronomy. He described how the earth orbits around the sun and how the sun, in turn, orbits around the center of a vast collection of stars called our galaxy. At the end of the lecture, a little old lady at the back of the room got up and said: “What you have told us is rubbish. The world is really a flat plate supported on the back of a giant tortoise.” The scientist gave a superior smile before replying, “What is the tortoise standing on?” “You’re very clever, young man, very clever”, said the old lady. “But it’s turtles all the way down!”

    - to paraphrase that delightful little old lady (LOL) in regards to YouTube:

    But it’s cats riding Roombas all the way down!

  19. His speed is only gonna add fuel to the fire. Bush administration is not doing enough to remove the oil from the sea. They must push themselves to clean the sea in time as there is warning of cyclones ahead in future.
    Quick Trim

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