Trailer for Sofia Coppola’s new movie, Somewhere, you guys:

The trailer should be the whole movie. I feel totally satisfied by that trailer. It was visually beautiful. The song was nice. I understood the arc of the story, in which a down on his luck, sexually wanton actor is forced to care for his estranged but loving young daughter, and it opens his heart to a whole new world of emotional fulfillment. The end. Goodnight. R.I.P.

Anything more than this, and I’m going to have to start thinking about the autobiographical details that Sofia Coppola inevitably inserted into the film, as she does with all her films, and then I am going to be watching a two-hour long, beautifully-filmed, delightfully-soundtracked rumination on the pains of growing up rich and famous (Sofia Coppola’s favorite and ONLY subject, with the possible exception of The Virgin Suicides, although the Lisbon sisters were growing up in Grosse Pointe, which is at the very least upper-upper-middle-class). She does it well, but at a certain point it is a little exhausting. We get it! Everyone gets sad, even people who eat ice cream in bed at the Chateau Marmont where they live. Even Marie Antoinette, sometimes!

Even people whose dad directed some of the most iconic and important films of the 1970s and named a champagne after them.

This guy definitely knows what she is talking about.

Comments (85)
  1. When I first read the title I thought it said “Betty White is Hard Somewhere”

  2. The people of Haiti are so fortunate that they don’t have to deal with awkward awards show dancers.

  3. The four words I’ve been waiting to hear for years: “Stephen Dorff comeback movie.”

  4. This is the sort of movie that all my friends will tell me to see because its oh so good and I will wait until the last minute to see it, and ultimately catch it on its last week of running, and then walk out after 45 minutes when nothing has happened. So exactly the same as Marie Antoinette.

  5. Sorry to nitpick, bust most scholars believe that Marie Antoinette never got sad.

  6. Betty White Is Hard Somewhere

    <—what I first read.

  7. Sure, Dorff, being white is extra hard when you accidentally open….THE GATE!!!

  8. Lost In Translation 2: 2 Lost 2 Translated

  9. I was going to write this one off until I saw those four words at the end: “Featuring music by Phoenix.” DAMNIT.

  10. Man, Sophia Coppola really likes The Strokes. Didn’t she use “What Ever Happened” for the Marie Antoinette trailer?

  11. I want to hate this but my ovaries are screaming all Beatlemania style over scruffy dad Stephen Dorff.

  12. Did anyone else catch where she cut to his closet and there was a pair of 18th century curved-heel shoes with a big buckle?

  13. I will probably Fandango these tickets, no lie.

  14. You know what, I’m going to say it. I don’t like Sophia Coppola or any of her films.

    • agreed. like, maybe it’s some good old fashioned girl-on-girl hate, but honestly, i find them boring and pedantic, and i think they fall into the trap of the point of the films being that there is no point, which jesus christ i’d rather not sit through 3 hours of glittery existentialism and boobs. i very grudgingly sat through marie antionette because an aspiring set designer friend of mine was all antsy in the pants for it, but i just cannot take oblique social criticism on the wasteful soul-searching of the epically rich from someone who is also epically rich. also kirsten dunst. gah.

      • Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

        And also, I have not forgiven her for The Godfather III.

        • I was just about to post that. I mean, the atrocity of The Godfather III isn’t really her fault, but she is possibly the ugh-iest part of a movie full of ughs.

      • Also, that movie just generally blew. No substance at all, and magazine photoshoot style. It’s 9th grade existentialism at best. There could be a real opportunity to explore decadence and the decline of a society/lifestyle in a movie about Marie Antoinette. But what Sofia Coppola chose to do was to see the sheen of a world that meant very little.

      • Will you and Kateness be my bestest girlfriends? I’ve alienated more than a few people with my anti-Sophia Coppola ranting.

        • yes! i am a decent friend to have. i knit people things, and i’m always down with going out for drinks right after work, and i can bake a mean birthday cake.

        • I would love to! Like southernbitch, I also think I’m a decent friend to have. I don’t bake, but I give great compliments and I love giving gifts. Oh, and I will gladly watch your pets while you’re out of town.

      • I like Sophia Coppola’s films (and Phoenix!). Where else, besides her, am I going to get my fashion girl ennui kicks?

      • I, for one, would love to sit through three hours of glittery existentialism and boobs.

        But seriously, folks [get it? I'm a hack comedian BURR BURR BURR] I do in general have very little tolerance for privileged people complaining about their privileged lives. So much so that, in typical asshole fashion, if my friend complains about her crush not liking her back, or the fact that she has a huge amount of homework from her private school to do, I just say, “Well, at least you’re not being raped in a refugee camp in Africa. Whee! Feel better?”

        But I also disagree with the sentiment that art that depicts rich people’s lives is intrinsically less worthy that depicts poor people’s lives. The fact of the matter is (which I believe Gabe has expressed many a time, being a kind of guilty white person) is that everyone suffers, and when it comes to art, there are many things that make something worthy or beautiful.

        I can enjoy reading Cormac McCarthy, who generally writes about evil and horrible, terrible things, and the human condition, and Marcel Proust [please don't judge me, I swear I'm not that pretentious :( ], who writes about rich people in France, and the human condition.

        I used to think that art needs suffering, but I realize now that it needs humanity, and part of that is suffering.

        • We’re gunna be Proust Pals now.

        • i don’t want to imply that rich people art is somehow worth less than non-rich people art. actually the kicker is that frankly ALL ART is rich people art when you get down to it- even movies about poor people are usually being made by rich people and portrayed by rich people; and ART in galleries is usually way too expensive for the common audiences. i know that i’ve got these permanently pissy class system goggles cement sealed to my face at this point, and i make a lot of snarky comments about rich people all the time. so. with that in mind, let me expand my comments about why i hated marie antoinette in a different direction:

          it’s precisely because she took something that is painfully political, aka the french revolution and the attempt to violently change an exploitative system, and tried to scrub away any politics from the situation. and maybe in this super-meta way she was trying to make a larger commentary on how that’s what americans in her audiences do when faced with inequitable situations, aka let’s not think about how 1 in 4 american public school students are homeless but rather think about the new iphone, but i don’t think so. and that final shot of SPOILER ALERT DON’T DOWNVOTE ME INTO OBLIVION the wrecked palace didn’t do enough to balance out the 3 hours of watching kirsten dunst flounce around in dresses and look mopey. coppola didn’t even do a good job of conveying whatever “suffering” marie antionette had.

          there have been plenty of great examples of upper and middle class ennui explored in film, art, and literature. marie antionette is definitely not one of them though.

          • I agree. Marie Antoinette wasn’t good. Not because it portrayed rich people’s lives, but because it did it in a really unmeaningful way.

            DRESSES food SHOES sex SUNSHINE accents FARTS

    • I enjoyed virgin suicides, but it was just like “I can turn off the sound and this movie would be infinitely better”.

  15. Stephen Dorff IS Christian Slater in…. The Act-ening.

  16. That looked like out takes from Blade, which is would make this movie more appealing since it would have vampires and that’s what I look for when deciding on my entertainment options.

    • I should really stop trying to post on my favorite website while trying to catch up on my Lindsay Lohan google alert and DVR’ed Real Housewives of New York during the World Cup. The vuvuzela is really distracting.

  17. on a scale of marie antoinette to lost in translation, this gets an 8.

    if lost in translation isn’t one of your favorite movies, then we definitely do not have one of the same favorite movies!

  18. Being white is especially hard when you are Stephen Dorff… seriously.

  19. alternate title, GOOP: the Movie

  20. I have a really hard time with movies about a parent who finally decides to grow up and be a parent. That is your job when you have a kid, folks, whether you signed up for it or not . I also have a really hard time with movies about privileged people who experience malaise. Life is so trying, I can’t find joy in anything, wah wah wah.

    I have no problem whatsoever, though, with making a judgment call about a movie after a 2 minute montage of images.

  21. i don’t much care about her movies, but i do appreciate that her champagne comes in cans with straws.

  22. “Written by” is a term they are using LOOSELY. (“He walks to the bed. He slightly frowns. A Phoenix song plays.” REPEAT FOR TWO HOURS)

  23. Oh dear god, there are multiple Fannings.

  24. but only ONE Stephen Dorf.

  25. Being White is hard EVERYWHERE.

  26. So….is Sofia Coppola actually Wes Anderson in drag, or….

    also, I hate this movie already

  27. Being Hard Leads to White Sauces

  28. I didn’t care for Lost in Translation. I had just seen Broken Flowers, which is a much better movie starring Bill Murray so I thought I’d give Lost in Translation a try. It took me two days to finish it.

    • I’m surprised they didn’t ask you to leave the movie theater AWWW YEAH POW!

    • Broken Flowers is NOT a better movie than Lost in Translation. At least L.I.T. took the malaise of both its dude and lady protagonist seriously. Broken Flowers just felt like one long whine about how chicks are ridiculous, which like if that’s what you’re trying to say at least have Nicholas Cage attacked by bees; alas, the film failed to do us even that solid.

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