jacman_subway

THIS IS A SERVICE WARNING FOR THE NEW YORK CITY AREA. IT HAS COME TO OUR ATTENTION THAT INTERNATIONAL LIPTON ICED TEA SPOKESMAN HUGH JACKMAN HAS BEEN RIDING ON THE METROPOLITAN TRANSPORTATION AUTHORITY SUBWAY LINES IN THE CITY OF NEW YORK. RIDERS SHOULD BEWARE THAT ANY AND ALL SEATS MAY NOW BE COVERED IN URINE. IT IS STILL UNCLEAR AT THIS TIME HOW MANY SEATS HUGH JACKMAN HAS USED, OR HOW MUCH TIME HE HAS SPENT INSIDE THE SUBWAY CARS, SO RIDERS SHOULD USE CAUTION AND THEIR BEST JUDGEMENT TO DETERMINE WHETHER OR NOT AN AVAILABLE SEAT IS INDEED FILLED WITH A PUDDLE OF HUGH JACKMAN’S PEE. WHILE THE PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE INCLUDED HERE SUGGESTS THAT HUGH JACKMAN WAS RIDING ON THE F LINE, THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT HE HAS NOT USED OTHER LINES. WE REPEAT, THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT HE HAS NOT USED OTHER LINES. RIDERS ON LINES SUCH AS THE 4/6 OR THE L TRAIN SHOULD NOTE THAT ALTHOUGH THESE LINES DO NOT FEATURE THE CONCAVE WELL-SEATS OF THE F LINE, THE LONG, UNDIVIDED BENCHES MAY STILL BE COVERED IN A DAMP SLICK OF HUGH JACKMAN’S URINE. HUGH JACKMAN MAY HAVE ALSO URINATED ON THE FLOORS, HANDRAILS, AND AUTOMATIC DOORS OF THE NEW YORK CITY SUBWAY TRAINS. RIDERS SHOULD ALSO TAKE CAUTION WHEN ENTERING AND EXITING NEW YORK CITY SUBWAY STATIONS, AS SAID STATIONS MAY NOW BE KNEE-DEEP IN URINE CAUSED BY THE ACTOR IN HUGH JACKMAN TAKING OVER. THIS AFFECTS ALL STAIRWAYS, TURNSTILES, BENCHES, RAILWAYS, AND SUPPORT POLES. ALL METROPOLITAN TRANSPORTATION AUTHORITY EMPLOYEES ARE REQUIRED TO PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION. BOOTH OPERATORS MUST REMAIN BEHIND THEIR GLASS PARTITIONS, AND IT IS HIGHLY SUGGESTED THAT RAILWAY MAINTENANCE WORKERS WEAR REGULATION LENGTH (CHEST-HIGH) RUBBER WADERS. RESIDENTS OF NEW YORK CITY ARE ENCOURAGED WHENEVER POSSIBLE TO SEEK AN ALTERNATIVE METHOD OF TRANSPORTATION. END OF MESSAGE. (Image via JustJared.)

Comments (50)
  1. As awful as it that all of those seats used to be a vivid green, you gotta applaud the guy for smiling at the camera so nicely. Would you rather have this news story be about Russel Crow? Because then it’s green seats and a cracked camera lens. Perhaps Amber Lamps will get involved.

  2. I’d rather sit in urine than have a mariachi band harass me for money

    • The subway mariachis (well, I don’t think they’re actually mariachis, but I know who you’re talking about) are the only subway performers I give money to.

  3. Why does he even bother with the plastic seat-cover?

  4. They should put couches on the subway. Then they could just flip the cushions over whenever Papi has to sit down…

  5. I DON’T THINK THERE IS ENOUGH BOLD YELLING IN THIS POST. THIS IS FAR TOO IMPORTANT FOR REGULAR INTERWEB YELLING!

  6. Wait….

    Hugh Pee’d ?

  7. “Attention Passengers: from West Fourth Street to Jay Street-Borough Hall, the F Train will be running over the P line.”

  8. IF ONLY WE KNEW HIS IP ADDRESS WE COULD KNOW WHERE HE’S PEEING AT ALL TIMES.

  9. Mr. Pee Pants is more palatable than vomiting youngins late at night.

  10. guys, we shouldn’t be so hard on hugh jackman. he didn’t realize when he signed up that his contract with lipton required him to be constantly drinking their iced tea, every second of every day. he even has to have a tea feeding tube at night when he sleeps. it’s no wonder he just pees everywhere all the time. that’s a lot of iced tea!

    i guess what i’m saying is that you should always read the fine print if you don’t want pop culture blogs and their commentators making fun of your pee.

  11. I think it’s a little unfair to constantly bring up the peeing episode like this. It’s kind of bullying. If I had gif making skills I would make a gif of that one scene in the x-men movie when Wolverine gave Cyclops the bird finger with his center adamantium claw by retracting the two outer ones but leaving the center one extended, like the bird finger.

    • I’d use the time they made that joke in Epic Movie, because ha ha!

    • So.. I usually just read and never post but this time I had to login and agree with Steve Winwood. If Gabe had seen someone else make fun of mr Peepants the way Gabe makes fun of mr Peepants, Gabe had written a “stop bullying mr Peepants, mr Bully!”-story and we all had been “yeah, stop that mr Bully!”

      So the guy peed his pants. Big effing deal. Actually, aren’t you about that age, Gabe, when keeping the pants dry may become a daily struggle?

      • I think you guys are forgetting that someone peeing their pants is HILARIOUS!!!

        And not only did Hugh Jackman pee in his pants, he peed in his pants in front of HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE while singing a high note during a production of BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. Sure it’s a bit mean, but it will never stop being the funniest thing that has ever happened.

        • Side-note: I googled “hugh jackman pee” because I forgot what the musical was, and the first two links are Videogum.

          Way to go, Gabe! You’ve cornered the Hugh Jackman Pee market!

        • Haha, yes, you’re right, it’s insanely fun! It’s almost like that one time in fifth grade when one of the kids in class peed his pants in front of the whole school and everybody laughed their asses off and then called him pissboy for the rest of school. It’s SO FUN! So I just made that story up but anyway.

          BTW, in Europe we pee our pants all the time. No biggie. There, I just did it. Now I’m gonna go for a walk.

  12. Related: I just spent 6 minutes trying to find the original photo so I could find out if Hugh Jackman and I have the same running shoes. We don’t.

  13. ATTENTION VIDEOGUM MONSTERS: I WANT TO PEE ALL OVER THIS POST (IN THE R KELLY WAY). WATCH OUT.

    (This comment is dedicated to ignitionremix)

  14. is it fair to surmise that Hugh’s been patrolling the block in front of my apartment too?

  15. Hugh has now just entered another of my favorite categories of people: train riders who keep their sunglasses on when not in the sun. Kudos, MC Pee Pants.

  16. I think even Hugh Jackman’s pee is drops in the ocean when discussing the sanitation of the Subway seats. But at least the Improv Everywhere stunt got there first.

  17. “I peed there. That’s my urine.”

    -Nick Madson

  18. If you pee something, say something.

  19. I don’t want to have to explain to my mom why Hugh Jackman is a peepants, so I just read this post and bit my lips off trying not to L O L.

    A bill is in the mail, Gabe. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! [Blogville, Population: Gabe and Birdie]

  20. Pantspee-ers: Just like us.

  21. I gues BP(ee) has a new problem on its (urine soaked) hands. Time for a Top Kill.

    • I love the name Top Kill. Just love it. I’d love for it to work and hope the good people of the gulf coast catch a break one of these days, but oh man, let me know when they make a movie called “Top Kill” because it’s a great name.

  22. “ATTENTION NEW YORK: YOUR SUBWAYS ARE COVERED IN URINE”

    Wasn’t this the cover story of Duh Aficionado Magazine like 50 years ago?

  23. What I want to know is: How come Gary Coleman has been dead for actual minutes now and there’s still no blog post about this on Videogum? What is Gabe trying to hide?

  24. the R and D trains look like that too! no one (in my neighborhood) is safe!

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