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The past few entries in the Porno Switcheroo Archives have been rather tame. Mostly off-color DVR descriptions, and a South Carolinian madman who is confused about the quality of his art. But today we have a classic Porno Switcheroo where actual porno is placed directly into the soft, warm, innocent hands of a child. From UPI:
HOMOSASSA, Fla., May 27 (UPI) — A Florida mother said she was shocked when her 8-year-old daughter was mistakenly given a pornographic DVD by a teacher instead of a DVD full of school photos.
Dana Hill said her daughter, a student at Rock Crusher Elementary School in Homosassa, brought the DVD home after the discs of pictures from the school year were distributed to the class and sat down with her 12-year-old brother to view its contents, Bay News 9, a St. Petersburg, Fla., based cable news channel, reported Thursday.
However, Hill said the children quickly noticed something was wrong when a pornographic film started playing.
Don’t you mean that the children quickly noticed something was RIGHT? Free porno! Instead of boring old school photos! Just kidding. I know that children should never even hear the word “sex,” let alone be taught any suggestion of what it means. If that were to happen, they might develop healthy attitudes towards it, and decide that it was a natural function of human biology, and then one day they might even try it themselves. Yikes! Personally, I’m just glad to see that Porno Switcheroos are keeping up with modern technology. Why, just imagine, a few years ago there was no such thing as DVDs of school photos to be accidentally replaced with a pornographic DVD. Porno Switcheroos happened on VCRs, and woodprints, and tapestry. Sign ☮ the times. This guy knows. FILE UNDER: Modern Classic. (Thanks for the tip, Tyler and mklkm.)
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Rock Crusher? Homosassa? WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS?!
I sleep on a Simmon’s Homosassa Pillow Top Mattress.
Rock “Crusher” Elementary is so going to be my porn star name when this VideoCUM XXX movie finally gets off the ground.
Ew! Gross!
Soft Gabe can be Homo Sassa.
Plot synopsis for Videogum porn parody:
Sexy young blogger posts erotic fantasies. Large group of commenters show up at apartment with lots of cute animals and a trampoline. Everyone goes crazy for how cute the animals are. A baby bounces on the trampoline. Everyone says how nice everyone else is and then everyone is accused of groupthink. No one gets naked but everyone does get ice cream.
and cake. and cake.
Young blogger? You can’t mean Gabe because Gabe is SOOO old!
This porno just got a whole lot more freakier.
You want freaky? wait until someone breaks out the gifs!
Please can we also roller skate?
Roller skates, cakes, lambs being bottle-fed, cute babies dressed as cuter babies and carboard toilet paper rolls for EVERYONE!
Whoa, whoa, whoa…. only if you’re in the backroom painting… then you HAVE to be naked. All the time nakedness. WOOO HOOO!
Sorry, I need to adjust my meds or go to beds
Cue “Yakety-Sax”.
maybe if this had happened to me at school I wouldn’t be single right now….
Moms just don’t understand.
red shirt:
“whatever, he’s gonna see porn sometime”
blue shirt:
“oh, SHIT, she looks pissed, i’m so dead…”
Things like this are bound to happen when the school is built on top of a hellmouth.
Prince should watch the Schoolhouse Rock episode on prepositions.
I really, really enjoyed this vid Becca, Thanks!
On an unrelated note, I got the Daria dvd’s recently. I had forgotten how much I liked your avatar in the show.
Do you think everyone that graduates from Rock Crusher Elementary School goes on to a career in crushing rocks? I mean, it is Florida.
My favorite (most horrific) “Weekly World News” story from Florida remains, and always will remain, the women who grew into her couch because obesity.
http://www.boingboing.net/2004/08/12/woman-dies-after-bei.html
That momma so fat, when she sat around the house…
Am I the only person in the world that doesn’t like Prince? I don’t understand what’s so appealing about him!
Alright someawesomeawe, it’s on. You and your friends vs. me and The Revolution.
Game: Blouses.
Yes. Experience Purple Rain (album and/or movie) and try again?
I guess it could be easy to get the “Rock Crusher School Photos” dvd mixed up with “Cock Rusher Schoolgirls” movie.
(sorry)
I seriously couldn’t get through the rest of the article (that is what this is, right?) after reading the words “Rock Crusher Elementary School.” Like, I completely lost focus.
The part of the article that BLEW MY MIND is at the end when I discovered that it was a LADY TEACHER who planted the porno DVD. “She hasn’t approached me yet to apologize”. SHE? I’m sorry, I don’t mean to come off as sexist by suggesting that women seem unlikely to fuck up this bad. But seriously, who here didn’t automatically assume this was a male teacher they were talking about?
This is not the first school-related porno switcheroo:
http://cbs5.com/local/teacher.porn.dvd.2.1068632.html
Check the date: This happened at the end of the school year in 2009! Teachers! I know the end of the year is busy with grading and paperwork and parties, but seriously, slow down when it’s time to compile the DVD photo albums!! Separate your personal from your professional. Maybe a different computer altogether.
Friendly advice, too late this year. 2011 Memories DVD’s are at stake now.