In this feature, we periodically check in to see what is up with Topher Grace.

It is 90 degrees in New York today. That is so many degrees! So I guess that means summer is here. Unfortunately, we didn’t really get a spring this year. Between the lateness of the warm weather, and the warm weather’s intermittent return to cold weather, it never really seemed to hit that sweet spot where you walk around in jeans and a t-shirt listening to old Superchunk albums and feeling like there might actually be a reason, and a good one, that we are all alive. You know? Weather talk! So interesting. Sometimes I wonder why this blog isn’t just a blog about the weather, because of how interesting talking about the weather is. Anyway, now that it is summer, that of course means that the Internet will be dead. It happens every year. Not really sure why that is. I know that school is out, but most of the websites I read aren’t written by teenagers (weird, right?), so I’m not entirely sure why things always seem to slow down and dry up this time of year. Let’s go, Internet! Barbecues are nice, but barbecues don’t pay the bills, AM I RIGHT? (But oh man do I wish that barbecues paid the bills, AM I DOUBLE RIGHT?)

Speaking of people who enjoy warm weather and often wear jeans and a t-shirt, what’s up with Topher Grace?

As some of you may know, the television series Lost came to an end last Sunday. Rob Huebel and Paul Scheer, of Human Giant, hosted a finale party at UCB in Los Angeles featuring many of the cast and writers. And also featuring someone else of interest, as Zap2It reports:

Writer-producers Eddy Kitsis and Adam Horowitz — whom Topher Grace (“That ’70s Show”), evidently a huge “Lost” fan, walked over to meet just before the show began — also hung out, answering some burning fan questions and telling a few secrets about the show. Before beginning, Kitsis spotted Damon and Carlton sitting in the audience and said, “Maybe you’re not cool with this, but f*** you, we don’t work for you anymore.”

Celebrities are just like us! In that they also know about television shows that are broadcast around the world! And sometimes they watch them when they are bored (of doing cocaine and ignoring hookers). Neat!

Speaking of the things that we all do to pass the time waiting for the Lord to take us up to Heaven, Topher Grace might play World of Warcraft, according to Online Big Game:

With the popularity of WoW, don’t you modify wonder; are there famous grouping who own WoW accounts? If so, where are they in Azeroth? You won’t undergo until they verify you who they rattling are, not modify if they’re movement incoming to you.

Jessica Simpson, Topher Grace, blackamoor Welling, Yao Ming, Ben Affleck, Terry Gene Bollea (Hulk Hogan), Curt Schilling, and Cameron Diaz were all reportable to hit WoW accounts and are actively activity WoW or hit played WoW before.

What language is that? Also, what a bunch of nerds. JUST LIKE HOW WE ARE NERDS!

Of course, sometimes Topher puts down the computer and heads over to the movie set, or out on the town to charity functions. That’s just the life that a person in his line of work is expected to lead. We know that, and we talk about it on a regular basis. Today is no different. From the LA Times:

Speaking of Victoria [Beckham], she took her boys to a benefit at MTV skateboard star Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory in Los Angeles.

In tow with pal and hairstylist Ken Paves, Victoria helped son Brooklyn personalize his own pair of DC Shoes and took in action-packed activities — a foam pit, firing a tennis ball gun and go-karts.

The famous family mingled with the likes of Pharrell Williams, fellow Spice Girl Mel B, Topher Grace, Kendall and Kylie Jenner and Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa.

Proceeds from a silent auction benefited the Rob Dyrdek Foundation, which works to promote safe skateboarding communities.

A foundation to promote safe skateboarding communities? GOOD FOUNDATION. It was incredibly generous of these celebrities to donate their time to such a worthy cause. We should all take a look at our own lives and as ourselves if we are doing all that we can to help with the safe skateboarding community crisis.

Oh, GQ has put together an elaborate chart mapping out John Mayer’s sexual history with other celebrities in a sort of six-degrees-of-John-Mayer’s dick, and Topher is on there, because Topher runs in similar social circles and is also sexually active. It makes sense that they might have shared sexual partners, and this chart confirms it, but I just have one question: why ON EARTH does this chart exist?

And in some disappointing Topher Grace non-news, some new new Predators posters have been released (Predators, in theaters July 9, 2010), and they suspiciously do NOT feature Topher Grace, which seems like it would be really frustrating if you were Topher Grace.

There are five characters on that poster! Not including the Predator! Did Topher Grace not work just as hard as everyone else to bring his character to life? Hollywood is all about status, so I suppose you learn to take these things in stride. But it still seems like it might be difficult at times, you know? For all of its perks, I do think it is a tough business to be in. And I would write the exact same paragraph with only a few minor changes if I were writing a column entitled, “Hey, What’s Up With Danny Trejo?” But such a column does not exist.

And, of course, That ’70s Show remains popular in syndication.

There you go. That is what is up with Topher Grace. Send your Topher tips to See you next time!

Comments (69)
  1. I can only assume that Topher IS actually on the Predators poster – behind the Predator, bowie knife between his teeth, preparing to decapitate the Predator ‘ere it strikes.

    Topher. The most dangerous Grace.

  2. Topher Grace IS the Predator, it’s the reveal at the end. John Mayer has a cameo as another predator, and the credits role to John Mayer and Topher Grace having an orgy with aliens.

    Or so I hear.

  3. What are celebs supposed to do, Gabe? Do the Hooker and IGNORE the Cocaine? That’s not why you buy cocaine.

  4. I love how that sex map of john mayer’s penis links from Jennifer Love Hewitt to Fred Savage to “Girlfriend in Canada.” Is that right, Fred? Are you sure she’s not from the Niagara Falls area?

    • True story:
      A friend from high school used to bring up his millionaire internet girlfriend from Canada all the time and the rest of us we are like, “sure man, have fun chatting with your real girlfriend from a place none of us will ever drive to prove you’re lying.” He graduated high school, got his pharmacists’ license, and moved to Canada. He married the girl, who was real all along, and last I heard, he was making blueberry flavored Viagra.

      • My sister is currently dating a guy who met her through her “Hot or Not” profile. And I’M the asshole for thinking that’s really funny.

        • And just to illustrate why I found it so funny that someone asked her out is because obviously her picture was the driving force. Her profile write-up is a little out there. When she showed me it, I copied and pasted it to a word document so I could have it forever, and I’m share it with you here (just believe my sister is cool with this, which basically she is).

          I’m awesome! I like to have fun! love drive and ambition! Drama free! Love to laugh and act silly! Life is too short to be some dramatic, high strung bitch, you know? I’m extremely clumsy, and contantly trip over my own feet. When I’m really interested in a guy, I end up smacking him across the face alot. Don’t ask me why… Oh! P.S. Use of proper english and correct grammar is really important to me. I won’t take you seriously if you represent yourself as an idiot.

          awesome, drinking, fun, gymnastics instructor, harp, tattoos, tequila

          That’s my sister.

          • I’m only doing this because she followed up “alot” with a PS about how grammar is important (and it is!)

            PS: I think it’s cool that she’s a gymnastics instructor and can play the harp, no sarcasmo!

          • Oh yeah, pep, that’s one of many great contradictions in her description that are all part of why I find it so darn funny.

            She’s drama-free yet she apparently falls onto and over things all the time. No drama but watch out for spontaneous face-slapping if she likes you. Sentence fragments are abound yet it’s very important your grammar is top notch.

            And still, she has a Masters in Music and has played classical music on the pedal harp for 17 years. She teaches gymnastics to slews of kids every year (she and I both were gymnasts for a number of years back in the day, and both competed on teams). Yet she still has time to swear, drink tequila and get tattoos, as well as look for love on with the most ridiculous profile I have ever read, AND SHE FOUND IT.

            That’s the part that blows my mind. That’s why I have to make fun of it, because she has gone to ridiculous, humorous (to me) lengths to get what she wants and it’s worked out! I don’t have a fucking thing! I’m too caught up in my own neuroses!

          • I don’t have a fucking thing! I’m too caught up in my own neuroses!

            Do you want this Alot? It’s real friendly. I’ll find another one who will help me power through my own crippling neuroses. They’re just like, giving them away down at the carwash.

  5. Maybe we have it wrong and Topher is actually going to be on “To Catch a Predator”? It would be easy to get this information wrong, if we do not undergo until they verify you who they rattling are, not modify if they’re movement incoming to you.

  6. If this WAS to turn into a weather blog, it would easily beat out my other weather blog for favorite blog about the weather.

    Also, how does one get a job of mapping out celebrity manhood’s? That must have taken at least two full work weeks to do.

  7. It seems like the tag line on that poster should be “They Are The Most Dangerous Killers On Our Planet. But This Is Not Our Planet.” Doesn’t that make more sense?

    • In fact, if I hit the Powerball tonight (and I bought 5 tickets, so I probably will), I’m going to buy that movie studio just so I can change their dumb, no-sense-making poster.

    • I’d like to change the John Mayer poster’s tagline to “They Are The Most Dangerous Killers On Our Planet” because STDs and ew. Am I right?

      • I mean, let’s all be serious here (at least those of us interested in the women-folk), if you had a shot at the likes of Jessica Simpson, Taylor Swift, or Minka Kelly, tell me you wouldn’t seize that opportunity.

        • I read that tagline over and over. Like an OCD loop. It REALLY makes no sense. Who’s the ‘they’? Who’s the ‘our’?…Just imagine the marketing people coming up with it. All their feet on the table. Must have been like the “who’s on first, what’s on second” routine. But with assholes.

  8. His name made it onto the poster, ahead of Laurence Fishburne’s even, so that’s something to be happy about. It’s pretty weird, actually, that he’s listed second but not pictured? Maybe he made a really goofy face or an obscene hand gesture and they had to leave him out of the yearbook, I mean poster.

    • Ahead of Laurence Fishburne means their names weren’t listed in alphabetical order, which would imply that Our Topher has more pull than Laurence Fishburne. Or, casual racism. Hard to say.

  9. Didn’t Topher Grace get the Oil Spill role?

  10. Adding insult to injury, the Rock photobombs the Predators poster shoot.

  11. I was telling everyone it was hot as Topher out there today, it’s my new thing

  12. aww man. I think I found my new Videogum avatar/screen name

  13. That chart doesn’t clarify which of Topher’s sexual partners had their buttz suxxed. (Hint: ALL OF THEM)

  14. Safe skateboarding environments aren’t that important…


    Topher is just making sure he’s ready for 2012. The revolution will not be safe from skateboarding zombie hoards.

  15. My favorite thing about these Topher Grace update articles is that they always remind me that tomorrow is Thursday and the weekend is near.

  16. “it never really seemed to hit that sweet spot where you walk around in jeans and a t-shirt listening to old Superchunk albums and feeling like there might actually be a reason, and a good one, that we are all alive.”

    Gabe just gets it, you guys.

  17. When I lie awake at night and think What’s Up with Topher Grace? the answer 100% of the time is Probably banging hot broads.

  18. Excuse me, I meant hot dogs

  19. I know I’ll probably get downvoted for saying this, but judging by the crowd Toph hangs with, he seems like kind of a douchey celeb, just sayin. Maybe he isn’t, we don’t know! But these articles don’t help, they just say where he was spotted, which is usually at someone more famous’ party. Someone needs to talk to this fellow so we can really get to know what’s up with Christopher Grace.

  20. also WOW Jennifer Love Hewitt is slut.

  21. This week only, I am OFFICIALLY so jealous that Gabe bowled with Tim Harrington.

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