Gabe Liedman is a stand-up comedian, and one half of the Gabe and Jenny comedy team with Jenny Slate. But at the top of that resume it states that he is Videogum’s Official Expert on this season of Glee.

This week on Glee was one of those weeks where it’s not so much a musical as it is a pageant—songs that are homages, costumes that are supposed to be costumes, numbers that take place IRL and not in someone’s emotionbrain. Cool, no prob. This week they tackled Gaga and KISS (with a little Barbra thrown in for good measure), with “theatricality” as a common thread. It was way better than the Madonna episode, and in a whole different Gleegue than the “silly songz” episode; but, IMHO, it didn’t hold a candle to the secretly-Bacharach episode, where the numbers fit with what was going on, and weren’t just going on to go on. It’s a stylistic choice, I guess, and I really wish the show was more consistent on that front. But, I guess everyone’s Glee to be you and me, and if I have to sit through a week of theme-time again, it better be as least as good as this week’s episode. OH, and Sue Sylvester was not even in one scene which is a bold-as-fuck move, and it better mean that next week’s show will be one long misogynistic soliloquy delivered by Sue, directly to camera, in the nude, with no commercial breaks. Fair is fair.

The episode started off with Tina getting a talking-to about her Goth-y ways. As you know, I consider her to be way more pop-Ska than Goth—but I guess the line between early Marilyn Manson and early Avril Lavigne was blurred (forgotten (never made)) a long time ago. Principal Figgins needs Tina to stop being so dark in the wardrobe because he thinks she’s a vampire? Some set-ups are too dumb to remember. But, now Tina is at a crossroads—what’s she gonna dress like?! Instead of singing “Dance in the Dark” by Gaga which woulda been RIGHT on message, she sings nothing, which is insane. Problem solved:

Finn’s mom has a big surprise for him—she’s moved them into Kurt’s haus and he and Kurt get to be roooommmiiieeeezzzzz (and boyfriend brothers)!!!!! Finn’s NOT psyched about it—the banana store is so far away! Kurt’s super-psyched about it though, no doy, because they’ve already done this like four weeks ago. But instead of singing “So Happy I Could Die” by Gaga, he sings nothing, which is insane, so:

Rachel goes dumpster-diving outside of Vocal Adrenaline’s practice space, and discovers that they’ve got a secret weapon—they’re gonna be doing a Lady Gaga number at Regionals, which is sure to impress the judges, who I guess are Tina Queens from six months ago. All the Gleetards poop their bike shorts out of scaredness—how can they ever compete against another bunch of assholes who are screaming Gaga songs when all they’ve got is talent, charisma, under-doggy-ness, and Brittany? They’re fucked, and not in a good way.

Rachel, Mercedes, and Quinn decide to crash Vocal Adrenaline’s rehearsal, to size them up, and learn a thing or three about theatricality. Apparently, theatricality=doing the exact same thing as someone who is famous, without spending much money or thinking too hard.

MILF Rachel’s not impressed by her slaves’ efforts, so she decides to show ‘em how it’s done. And how it’s done is BARBRA. MILF Rachel empties the stage then sings “Funny Girl” from Funny Girl in a decidedly UNtheatrical way, and then is like “get it?”

Only Rachel gets it though—she recognizes that sex-Jew voice from the cassette single by her mother that magically appeared last week, and when the Barbra’ing is done she blows her cover and str8-up introduces herself to MILF Rachel as her daughter. Now, even though MILF Rachel’s concocted this entire scenario because she supposedly really wants Rachel to know she’s her MILF, she instantly seems a little uncomf around her daughter. Literally, she’s like “I’ll call you…”

Finn tells Schue that he doesn’t wanna do Gaga—he’s got a better idea for the boyz, and Schue’s like “I WEAR A PRETTY HELMET.” Meanwhile, other apes are pushing back against the Gaga theme—a couple of football bullies give Kurt and Tina a hard time when they come to school dressed as homosexualz.

Football bullies HATE when people dress like homosexualz. When they finally make it to Gleehearsal, we see that all the girls in Glee Club are dressed as homosexualz—each one is in a different outfit inspired by a Lady Gaga look. Neat. Oh, and Mercedes tells everyone about MILF Rachel being Rachel’s mom, and everyone’s like TIME TO SING “BAD ROMANCE” THEN?

“Bad Romance” was fine—Tina and Kurt sang a lot of it, and OFCOURSENODOY they censored the celebratory “I’m a free bitch baby!” line, because none of these bitches are free AT ALL. They are the opposite of free. They are in jail, where they Gleelong.

Finn gets bullied when’s he’s caught putting on makeup in the boysroom. Football bullies HATE when boys put on makeup in the boysroom. He sticks up for himself a little bit, and then we see why he was putting on makeup in the first place: the Glee Club boyz have decided that their Gagaquivalent is KISS—same theatricality, more lenient on their tuck-your-penis-back legislation.

Finn’s makeup is pretty fantastic, considering his species’ thumbs are only semi-opposable. The boyz “sing” “Shout it Out Loud,” and put on a cute little show—if you’re limited to KISS songs, this one’s pretty gr8, but HOLY SHIT do I not <3 KISS so much.

Back home in their new boyfriendbrother room, Kurt and Finn are de-makeup-ing. Kurt asks Finn for some help defending herself from the football bullies. Football bullies HATE when one boyfriendbrother asks the other boyfriendbrother for protection from football bullies. Finn knows this, so he’s like “monkey no protect boyfriendbrother from football bullies, boyfriendbrother should try to fit in more.” Then Kurt is like, “silly boyfriendbrother, you’re removing your monkey makeup incorrectGlee,” and tries to touch Finn’s mug with a moist towelette. Finn freaks the fuck out—he doesn’t want to catch The Gay from Kurt’s ladyfingers.

This hurts Kurt’s feelings, so she sings “Monster” by Gaga. JK, he doesn’t sing anything, which is insane, even though “Monster” is right on message, so, again, problem solved:

Schue decides to have a no-kissing sit-down with MILF Rachel, to remind her that her daughter is very theatrical, and if MILF Rachel isn’t ready for a whole lot of draw-ma, she better keep a safe distance from Rachel. MILF Rachel tells Schue that Rachel’s the only kid she’ll ever have, because Rachel’s fetus was such a drama queen, she took all her MILF’s fertility with her when she made her big exit.

Kurt <3s not taking hints from his boyfriendbrother so much that she gets aaaaaall excited to show Finn her new interior designscape for their guilty-kissing secrecy-suite. It’s a little bit Sex and the City 2, in its epileptic nodding toward “Middle East” aesthetixxx (can you believe Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and … Samantha? go on vacation to Abu Ghraib this Friday?! That’s so Raven!), and a lot a bit hideous:

Finn fucking h8s it—there’s zero vines for him to swing from one side of the room to the other on, PLUS instead of piles of decomposing leaves full of bugs for him to eat, THERE’S A FLOOR. Uncool, Kurt, uncool. But, then FINN gets a little bit uncool, because he starts howling about how certain drapey swatches of fabric strewn here and there are “faggy,” and that’s when Kurt’s Dad From Guts steps down off his aggrocrag to teach his new son that it’s really gay and Jewish to use hate speech. Then Kurt’s Dad From Guts kicks Finn out of the house for being homosexualphobic, which is a little extreme, but Finn’s psyched to move back into the Primate House at the zoo, so he doesn’t cry.

I didn’t mention this before because it didn’t seem important, but now I realize that it is at least slightly important. Puck wanted Quinn to name their daughter Jack Daniels (or Jackie Daniels) before they give her away to Jennifer Garner and Jason Bateman, and Quinn gets pissed. So, then Puck’s rock hard pecs decide he needs to apologize, and the way he apologizes is by singing “Beth” by KISS.

It’s a very toned-down number compared to the first KISS song, so Quinn decides not to wear her false eyelashes and just go au naturel, for once.

She’s very moved by Puck’s pecs’ performance, because they really seem to have grown up. Puck apologizes for the very stupid Jack Daniels thing, and then suggests that they name their daughter “Beth” by KISS, before they give her away.

MILF Rachel tells Rachel that she’s not ready to be a very hands-on mommy right now (which reminds me: there better be a cougar-cub lesbo scene between these two characters in the Penthouse Glee porno that’s coming out OR ELSE). There’s a really funny line in this scene where Rachel says she’s named after Rachel from Friends, LOLz.

In the end, MILF Rachel is a mother, not a mom, and Rachel gets it, but is sad about it. She wants a mom. Then the two of them sing a really great version of “Poker Face” by Gaga. I loved this number—it kind of showed that Glee understands more than one thing about Gaga: yes, she’s a costumed disco crusader, but the human being underneath all that porno armor is a whacky 20something, who loves to bang on pianos and growl. Rachel and MILF Rachel do a good imitation of Gaga’s acoustic-set snarls—it’s a loving homage, rather than a pageant number, like “Bad Romance” (which was still pretty cute).

Kurt and Tina are about to get Gagabashed again by the football bullies when Finn comes to their rescue, dressed in Gaga’s rubber Elizabethan getup she wore to meet Queen Elizabeth.

Finn may be no match for the football bullies by himself, but then the rest of Gleetards show up, and somehow they’re intimidating enough that the football bullies step down.

Schue gives them all a slow-clap for learning a vague message about sticking together and homosexual-okay-with-ness. OH! Also, Tina’s back to being Goth because she convinced Principal Figgins that she really IS a vampire, so now he is too scared to give her fashion advice.

The end.

Comments (62)
  1. where’s last night’s LOST recap?

  2. “Who is this now? What? Stamps are expensive. Does anyone use paper clips anymore?” – Andy Rooney

  3. It’s nice to finally see a positive media portrayal of Asian vampires. As an Asian vampire ally I was really offended by the recent spate of Dracura films, so I’m really pleased we’re making some headway in that regard.

  4. Oh man. Kurt’s dad is pretty much the best, despite the fact that he makes me cry every time he’s on screen, it seems.

    • Ugh. his little tirade was great but it was unjustified. Kurt needs to put some ice on his crotch and find a boy who likes him back. Blah-de-blah every gay boy needs to learn that lesson but FOR FUCKS SAKE KURT! this AuJustin I follow summed it up nicely:

      • I didn’t think his tirade was unjustified. Kicking Finn out was not the logical conclusion of it, but I thought he was right on. I work with high school kids and I am so sick of hearing them throw “gay” and “fag” around like they are synonyms for stupid and lame. And Finn was even going one step further than that by actually using the terms properly, intending to hurt Kurt. Finn deserved to get yelled at, and I hope some of the kids that watch the show heard what Burt was putting out there.

        But, yeah. Kurt needs to fucking move on and find a new boy who will like him back and appreciate his design sense.

        • ok. unjustified was not the right word…it was…overzealous?

          I agree that Finn needed to be reprimanded and that it was not ok to say “Faggy” BUT I felt like it was a blown up argument so that we could be delivered a very heavy message. You are right in that EVERY KID who uses fag negatively needed this message, but I fell like in this situation Finn became EVERY KID and the whole tirade was not only Kurt’s Dad projecting but also the writers saying, “Hey, kids at large: NOT COOL.”

          Anyway, at the same time that I was thinking it was a great message; I also felt it should not have been directed so fervently towards Finn the Ape who is basically getting stalked by Creepy Kurt who can’t take a hint.

          At the Glaad Awards they said Kurt would get a boyfriend next season…SO HOPEFULLY this will all be done by then.

          • long comment is long

            I’ve been a committed GLBTQ rights activist since the age of 12 (making it 10 years) and I agree with you. By not letting Finn talk about his legitimate frustrations with Kurt, it just sort of came off as unfair. There was probably another context where Kurt’s dad could give the justified papa bear tirade against that shitty word which would have had more impact in an activist sense. I would have loved a father like that though when I was growing up. I think though Kurt was trying to give Finn some space with the privacy partition, which Finn just shat all over. Kurt also has a strong aesthetic/design interest, whereas Finn just seems indifferent, so it wasn’t like the overdone room wasn’t foreseeable (cause Finn wasn’t offering much input anyway, and Kurt has a different idea of ‘manly’) and he couldn’t have just discussed it calmly. Said “Hey, I appreciate the work you put into this, but it’s a bit over the top for me. Maybe we can tone it down.” I dunno, if you don’t really help with a project or contribute ideas, I think flipping out over the end result is a tad unreasonable.

          • I thought about this a lot more and I don’t think I agree anymore.

            Kurt <3's Finn but he doesn't ever do anything inappropriate towards Finn. I don't think the moist towelette was a smooth move or that Finn needs to worry that Kurt try to peek at him sans underwear. You know what Kurt's smooth move is? Redecorating! That's like the least intimidating thing ever. Also, Kurt is a super little guy and could never a) hurt Finn or b) seduce Finn because Finn is st8. Thus, it doesn't make sense for Finn to be that worried about Kurt's gay getting on him.

            I do think Finn has had a hard year though and it would be nice if people would cut him some slack but I also think his fear of Kurt's sexuality is homophobe-y and needed to be addressed. One step closer to evolution, Finn.


          • @Harke: Kurt got their parents together so he and Finn could be boyfriendbrothers and then when it looked like Kurt’s dad liked Finn better he tried to break his Dad and Finn’s Mom up.

            And Finn sees this. He has amazing monkey senses. ugh. It’s a good thing Finn doesn’t have a bunny he loves more than Kurt because that could have gotten CRAZY(er).

            So, Kurt needs to be cut some slack for sure because he’s a confused adolescent but when you manipulate people…I dunno…expect some repercussions.

          • @MrHausfrau: Yeah, you’re right. Finn was kind of made a scapegoat so that they coul get their message across, but it was a great message that needed to be heard, so I probably glossed over that.

            I think that they have both behaved badly, Kurt has been way out of bounds, but Finn also could have told those meatheads to fuck off. I think the writers’ point was, though, that Finn isn’t a superevolved teenager. He was freaked out about sharing a room with his gay friend, or boyfriendbrother. Finn’s less freaked out than a lot of kids would be, but he still does have issues with being friends with a gay dude. His homophobia seems to be more tied to other people seeing him be friends with a gay guy than anything else, though.

            And @Harke: I’m sorry, but I think Kurt dreamed up the whole scenario of the parents being together so that he could sneak a peek at Finn in his skivvies. He knows Finn is straight and I don’t think he really thinks anything is ever going to happen between them, but he doesn’t know what else to do, I don’t think.

          • I tend to agree more with Hausfrau here, but I still think we’re overlooking a very important detail. The whole conflict in this situation is seated in being character driven. There’s the whole history of Kurt having a crush on Finn and always wanting to show his feelings more than he feels he can. Then Finn is struggling with A) his identity as a Gleetard B) his mother’s new romantic searchings (which incorporates a whole slew of personal issues in accepting Kurt’s dad as even a possibility of a father figure) C) moving in with a new family without a discussion of how it affects him and D) his knowledge of Kurt’s crush and his loss at what to do about it.

            Now, this is a great setup. There’s tons of great dramatic resolution that could be made from this, but I feel the writers took a really cheap and easy way out that doesn’t actually do justice to the characters. When things finally come to a head, when all of Finn’s frustration culminate in his admittedly horrible outburst, he isn’t given fair treatment at all. His statements are attributed to homophobia both casually (Kurt’s dad) and knowingly (Kurt). We don’t deal with his father issues, we don’t deal with his mother moving on. His issue with Kurt is only patched up. He still knows nothing else about maturely dealing with Kurt’s crush. His identity issues are sort of answered when he sticks up for Kurt, but that’s only if his identity issue was focused around “looking gay” which is ridiculously simplistic and I think there’s a lot to be said for simple peer rejection, but I digress.

            My point is, the resolution to this episode does a lot to send a message, as Mr. Hausfrau said, and that’s cool. Get all Seriousgum in a sitcom, but at least do justice to the complexity of the characters YOU CREATED. This has kinda been my issue with the whole show since the winter break. Major plot issues are developed and “resolved” or discarded within 2 episodes. Have some faith in your character arcs, Glee writers, and stop jumping spastically to every uber-dramatic tension situation you can think of.

          • I agree with what you’re saying, but the entire show is set up as a message to its demographic. The complexity that we desire is mixed in there, but this show has a huge following that’s pretty young. So, there’s that. Yes, Kurt is acting very creepy, but Finn’s tirade probably did a lot to put those feelings in doubt.

            Also, Kurt’s obviously lonely, and I think that his endlessly pining and scheming actually connects to a lot of kids who don’t know how to deal with their sexuality, and it comes out in a variety of awkward and creepy ways. *shrug*

            I’m still holding out that Jessie St. James is gay and he and Kurt end up together, but that may be fanfiction.

          • Ooh that would be interesting! And a little sting to Rachel too. There could be some good conflict there since she gets Finn. Maybe? At least more than Kurt does.

            You’re right on with the younger demographic thing. I guess when I was that age, though, I wanted to be treated like an adult. I would have wanted an answer to my awkwardness. Granted, I was watching foreign films and making the best friends:

          • I’m with you on this one. Kurt is becoming deeply unlikeable. It was pretty skeezy of him to try wipe off Finn’s makeup when we all know Kurt uses those same moist towelettes to clean up after his Finn fantasies. Why not just offer him the towelette? And also stop manipulating the situation to gayify Finn? I’m tired of watching Kurt humiliate himself like that and show us all how low is self-esteem is. What’s so great about Finn? He’s dumb!

            I also wish Kurt would stop asking or waiting for someone else to stick up for him. All the Gleetards are picked on and they manage. School is shit for everyone so just dance to music by girls who pee through their fishnets, relax and try and ignore the hammerheads.

  5. I admit I had my reservations about this episode seeing as I view it as the zenith of people overestimating Lady Gaga’s long-term cultural relevance, but I’ll be damned if Brittany wearing a bedazzled lobster on her head isn’t one of the best things I’ve seen all year.

  6. You wrote “porno armor” then I said it out loud because omg!

    I had a lot of feelings during this episode. The Kurt-Finn thing just kept getting weirder and making me more uncomfortable until it got great, and more feel-goody and less with the awkward (consider this hour of television ANALYZED). When Kurt’s dad from Guts said the place looked great, I kind of didn’t buy it, but it kind of filled me with love.

    But mostly I love that Puck referred to having “whore lips.”

  7. Glee is giving kids these days advice they can USE… like basing their personal style on a “happy meal, no onions.”

  8. This wasn’t their best episode. That said, I still had a good time. The “Poker Face” duet alone was enough to make it all worthwhile for me.

  9. So Mr. Schue pretty much admitted that he’s the worst teacher ever right? I just gave you an assignment for the hell of it, good luck at regionals kids
    On the other hand Shelby is a really good teacher and they are imperssive

    • What I don’t understand is how having a different assignment each week helps them prepare for regionals? Have they even chosen their numbers for it yet? They’re like never ever actually rehearsing for regionals. At least for sectionals they had numbers that they were definitely going to do – like “Don’t Stop Believing,” – but it just kind of seems like they’ve been dicking around all semester and are going to just go to regionals and sight-read something. This is not realistic at all! Geez!

  10. principal figgins was the breakout for me in this. the first scene was so great.

  11. WHY CAN’T SCHUESTER MIND HIS OWN FUCKING BUSINESS? Seriously, I hate him so much.

    Also Other Asian and Black dancer had their first lines this week, right?

    • Those lines were very exciting for those of us who are fans of the otherwise silent dancing dudes.

      • oh yes. yesssss. also i don’t think i even was on last week’s thread, so let me now say to you, fellow other asianphile, his dance with tina last week was the best. we should both call up fox fifty times every day and demand that he becomes a real character next season, or ELSE.

    • Other Asian has had one other line! He said he could pop and lock once, and then pop and lock he did.

      • He also said “It’s gonna be choppy” in the Sectionals episode when Finn came to save the day and asked him and the other good dancers to come up with choreography. MORE OTHER ASIAN!/NEVER FORGET!

  12. Am I the only one who thought that the “Poker Face” duet was bizarre? So it’s Rachel’s dream to sing with her Mom – fair enough. But to “Poker Face??” A song with the lyrics, “I won’t tell you that I love you, kiss or hug you, cause I’m bluffin with my muffin?” Totally normal to sing along with your mom to that!

    I don’t know. I was sort of creeped out.

  13. I liked how much Quinn this episode had. She looked smokin’ in her Gaga outfit. Britt has some cute lines that I don’t remember…oh. i guess they just talked about what slut she is…meh. Mercedes looked…TEH BEST!!

    But as MsGangy and others chatted about in Chat (it’s chat! jump into Glee Chat! ) this story was just pretty numbers and little plot…and what plot they had either magically appeared for this episode (Tina is SUDDENLY GOTH! The bullies are SUDDENLY the MEANEST OF THE MEAN!) OR, like the Rachel plot, tossed aside too easily. Oh well, get ‘em next week glee!

    • I think Tina has always supposed to have been goth, only she just looks stupid and as Gabe puts it, “pop-ska”. Basically, her entire wardrobe is from Hot Topic. But yeah, those bullies were really random and mean. Especially as I don’t think we’ve ever seen them before.

      • Yeah we have. They were the ones being mean to Puck and Finn in the first set of episodes when they joined the glee club. They tried to beat Finn up in the locker room.

  14. Not ONE scene with Sue! :(

  15. Each week I hope for more Brittany the Perfect, but seeing her with a lobster on her head was more than enough. <3

  16. Brittany is the new Mary Cherry, right? All ten times dumber and 100 times subtler and more talented.

  17. So while watching the boys perform their KISS number, I turned to my friend and said : “OMG someone has to do the tongue thing and I want it to be Puck!” And then my prayers were answered. XD

  18. I loved when Rachel called “Greg!” and the accompanist came on stage. “He’s kind of just always around.”

  19. I really loved the Kurt/Finn/Burt fight scene. I don’t know that Poker Face was an appropriate song, but I think I understood why they chose it – Rachel and MILF Rachel have to pretend they don’t know what they actually know anymore.

    Next week’s episode looks like a clustershag, but we’ll have to wait and see what fabulous may happen.

    Funniest Line: “Happy Meal, no onions. Or a chicken.” Brittany the Perfect

  20. “Vacation to Abu Ghraib” had me laughing for so long.
    Also, actually in the show, I liked it when Artie said, “Way to bury the lede, Mercedes!” but I think that’s just the journalist in me and nobody else cares.

  21. what about “This will get Robert Pattinson’s attention!” ahhhhh thank you Glee

    also thank you Santana for being a sexy lady.

  22. Santana looked INCREDIBLE! No? And she got to actually sing a bit in Bad Romance. Happy days!

    I LOVED the Burt/Finn/Kurt scene! And I don’t think Burt was meant to mean that he liked how the room looked – he was just making a point of saying it. But I think everyone is overlooking how Finn must be feeling, I mean – he’s made it VERY clear that he’s not happy about his mom dating Burt, and he had such a point when he was like “this is how you tell me we’re moving in?” – He’s not a happy boy and I honestly think his freakout wasn’t so much about Kurt being gay as it was about how pissed he is that nobody seems to be paying attention to how he’s feeling. Maybe I’m totally wrong with that one.

    But guys… I don’t know what American High Schools are like, or if TV even shows them realistically but… I’ve A LOT of gay friends, and it’s not an issue (among people I know, obviously) – what I don’t get is… HOW is Kurt the ONLY openly gay person in the school??? I KNOW there are still tensions and a lot of people don’t like people who are “different” or who stand out or whatever – but in this day and age, with Gaga celebrating gay culture and more and more people being cool with it, how is no other person in the school (not even a girl!) openly gay?? I’m not sure this is realistic? It kinda feels like they’re using Kurt to send a message to the viewers which is silly because if youngsters are watching Glee then surely they’re already cool with people being “different” and don’t need to be lectured that it’s okay to be gay?? Like… It feels like they’re kinda preaching to the choir with that one, no? Either way, I will always love Kurt! He’s the best!

    Also no mention of my favourite Tina line ever “My mom doesn’t even let me watch Twilight! She thinks Kirsten Stewart seems like a bitch” – Proving that kids should ALWAYS listen to their mothers because at the end of the day they are always right!

    • I remember getting picked on at school by a guy for being gay and he once came up to me in the change/locker room naked and told me I “have to show him [mine] now.” That kind of “teasing.” In my experiences the openly gay guys cruised through High School trying to focus on work and accepting that their crushes might not go anywhere (usually picking up online instead), and the ones that picked on gay guys had a boner for dick and were too ugly to get any.
      So yeah, the Kurt storyline feels a little Ready or Not, I agree.

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