Comments (38)
  1. i can’t believe you interrupted the finale of criminal minds for this, gabe. this oil spill is no where near me.

  2. That oil looks like caramel, if this was a caramel spill we’d all be happy and the otters would be like fuck yeah caramel

  3. Remember that song You Down with OPP? They should remix that for BP, Weird Al Yankovic style.

    • I would do just that but knowing the internet by the time I get around to writing it later tonight and then calling my friend to strip the OPP beat of lyrics and then recording it, there would be already 20 versions before I even got around to filming the video. Still going to try but once it is requested the internet usually provides. Also upvote to you Mr. Steve Winwood. Brilliant idea.

      • Thanks, friend. Please do this, as I don’t have time. I have to meet my sales quota at the used car lot in East Texas, then commute to my other job at the monsters plantation ride at six flags in atlanta, or else I would use my technical expertise to do it and make new friends on the internet today

        • I spent over a week trying to do this but I can’t get pass the chorus because OPP doesn’t match with with BP so I will soon provide just the chorus, that I don’t like much, plus maybe a little extra but possibly just a chorus. By the way it took my friend a week to strip the lyrics, but that was because he was busy producing his own shit. I don’t like what I ended up with but I promised something so I have to eventually show my crap eventually. Sorry for being so cocky Steve and all my fellow monsters, but I am no Weird Al.

  4. Ian Somerhalder (LOST’s Boone, Vampire Diaries’ brother, and Young Americans’ (2000 r.i.p) Hamilton) is from Louisiana and has been quite vocal on twitter about the travesty that BP is being allowed to skate by with. He tweeted this update yesterday Dead: 23 birds 156 sea turtles 12 dolphins.

    • the real travesty is that I’m not following Boone on twitter.
      but seriously, fuck BP

      • Your suggestion yesterday that they use the fiberglass cork from LOST to plug up the hole has been haunting me.

    • that’s the count for only what is washing up on shore. most carcasses will sink to the sea floor, and we will never get an accurate estimate of what the extent of damage is until years down the road when the devastation is evident through the number of survivors.

      and an update from me- even though i signed up to do volunteer work, and beyond one litter pick up two weeks ago, i haven’t heard anything yet/been mobilized. i think it’s partially because it’s just this week started to hit land, and also because i do believe that bp is strongly controlling the “clean up” effort. mother jones did an excellent piece on the difficulties of getting accurate information, and the type of work that is currently happening:

      this whole thing is fucking horrible. seriously. this is going to kill the entire marsh and new orleans will be sitting in open water in 10 years. yay.

  5. So BP has always been the worst right? I vaguely remember Eddie Vedder leading a “Don’t go BP-Amoco” chant/song at Lollapalooza a few years ago, but I didn’t really know what was going on (not because I’m not socially conscious, although let’s face it I’m not, but because I’d been drinking for three days), but I still sing the song every time I hear BP mentioned, which is all the time now obviously. Great comment.

  6. this makes me really, really sad.

  7. The live feed of the gushing oil well is so sad to watch. I don’t understand why BP is committed to letting everyone know that they can watch it at their website. The feed has BP’s trademark in the upper left hand corner as thick black poison spews into the Gulf continuously with no end in sight.

  8. I’m sorry, I can’t even try to laugh at this right now. I get that it’s healthy to channel some of this anger and frustration through humor, but it’s hard to be all “OH HAHAHA THE ENTIRE GULF GULF WILL SOON BE NOTHING BUT OIL AND INNOCENT ANIMALS ARE DYING BY THE TRUCKLOAD AND SOMEHOW THIS STILL SEEMS LIKE ONLY THE BEGINNING HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

    Not that this is a good comparison, but in a way I get that after 9/11, there was a popular line-of-thought that Americans should go about their lives. Laugh and go shopping or the terrorists win, right? In a way I get that, but at what point does that mean ignoring the problem to the point of complacency?

    I’m getting away from my original point (if there even was one to begin with), and I understand that this spoof was at least trying to confront the issue albeit in an incredibly broad and maybe somewhat tasteless manner. But what’s the point of this? “Ha ha, our ocean is filled with oil and the assholes responsible run ads proclaiming their progressive attitude towards a cleaner, more responsible industry?” LOL?

    I firmly believe that there are laffs to be found even in this most horrific things. Sometimes it takes time to distance yourself from the emotion of them. But, sometimes it just takes someone very funny and very talented. I didn’t see either of these in the parody and it just left me pissed off.

    So I guess all I’m saying is “too soon”.

    • right, i agree. i had to seriously fight myself from writing something like this in regards to the “who should play the oil spill” post yesterday. i keep clinging to this little hope that somehow something is gonna change because of this disaster, but i’m terrified that nothing is going to. even if bp is banned from drilling in us waters it only serves to be a reaction against this, not a proactive step towards fixing the inherent fucked up systems we have built that support this kind of shit. i mean, look at shell oil! i read a book called “where vultures feast” about what shell has done for the past 50 years in the niger delta, and it is fuuuuucked up. there are basically constant oil spills, they’ve killed the entire ecosystem, had a hand in political assassinations, and caused massive ethnic destabilization due to how money is allocated throughout the country. so yeah, fuck bp, and fuck everybody else too.

    • I am, always have been, and always will be an incredible cynic. I have also lost most of my idyllic views on the environment after majoring in environmental policy in college (probs not the intentions of the program). I’m sure I just have some major character flaw so when I first heard about this accident/disaster, my first thought was “meh.” This shit and WORSE happens everyday all around the world. Now, however, it is quite clear that this is a complete disaster and is indeed no laughing matter. The PR minimization effort by BP and the lateness to action on the part of the govt is preposterous. We need to fix this shit, like now, never mind the past month of crude oil gushing in to the ocean.

      At the same time, I can;t help but maintain some of my ambivalence. I mean, a big portion of the Gulf was already fucking dead and although this is incidence is a tragedy on one of this biggest scales we’re likely ever to see, its not going to change much. When we talk about the oil industry, we are talking about an intense relationship btw government and corporations that goes back over 100 years. We are talking about the single most important industry on Earth. This sucks so much it makes me want to cry sometimes but its the truth. These parties are never going to divorce each other. Never. In my experience I have yet to hear any great ideas on how to remedy this situation. The only time there is categorical change in a political system usually revolves around a disaster scenario and as much of an actual disaster as the current oil rupture/spill is, its not going to cause any sort of permanent shifts in policy. Sure, there might be tighter restrictions on off-shore drilling but what does that really even mean? Until there is literally not one drop of oil left in the ground or the entire seven seas turn to pure black, we’re stuck with the status quo. We saw almost nothing change after Valdez and we’re likely to see almost nothing change now.

      The conspiracy theorist in me thinks that those in charge know that peak oil is a reality and just want to pump till they die and leave the rest of us to deal with the consequences. I guess we’ll see.

      Sorry to be bummergum. I know I’m not in any way helpful but I’m just trying to underscore the not-funny-ness of this situation (despite previously making jokes).

      • That was an incredibly negative comment. I’m not saying we should all just say “fuck it” and give up. I am just saying that we can’t expect big changes any time soon. Obviously we need to keep pressure on both govt and the oil industry to reform and we need to continue to support alternative energy efforts (except ethanol, screw those guys). This leaves me as sad and frustrated as the next person, it just doesn’t shock me.

        • and the saddest part of all is this idea that somehow we the people can exert pressure to get the system changed via our wonderful democratic process. of late i’ve been re-reading a people’s history (y’all don’t laugh at me, i know i’m kinda ridiculously earnest about this kind of shit sometime, but it’s such a good book) and i just got through the section detailing the beginnings of the labor movement in the us. zinn basically posits that the reason why the us never became a more socialist republic was because we were granted a semblance of democracy/freedoms prior to general equality and prior to the industrial revolution and rise of capitalistic world markets. so that by the time the labor movements really started, the political systems here had been thoroughly captured by industry, and it took an intense amount of bloodshed and protest to reform the systems even the slightest bit, because reform obviously means loss of profits. and to make matters worse, both political parties realized pretty much off the bat that they could easily control working class movements by changing the discussion from talking about workers rights to talking about workers freedoms, which are two different ways of thinking about what people are allowed to do versus what is allowed to be done to them. not to mention racism. and shit hasn’t changed. i mean, sometimes i just cringe at myself for still having all these idealistic thoughts about reform, because the fact of the matter is, shit is seriously calcified in this country. i really thought- once the markets were crashing and the foreclosure rates were insane and figures were flying about that 1 in 4 public school students in the us are homeless- i really thought that maybe the conversation would change in the us. there were some rhetoric flourishes here and there but nope, it’s all still about thinking that the fucking markets are somehow going to fix this. and then i get all nervous that if i want change to happen, i better buckle down, because shit is going to have to get seriously, unimaginably bad for any type of reorganization of our systems.

          ugh i’m starting to sound like a loon. or a stoned freshmen in college.

          • This “sad” bit is the whole problem, I think. We all get sad and hopeless, or angry in the entirely wrong directions (hey tea baggers) instead of getting really, really angry in the direction that could actually change shit.

            And, you think you’re starting to sound like a loon? That’s another way we’re all getting screwed — people who care, people who try to talk about how the structure of this country actually plays out, are painted as loons, ever and always.

      • All this “let’s blame the oil companies, it’s their fault” sounds very un-American.

        No, seriously.

        (Guess what I’m going to say next…)

    • Yeah, I haven’t reached laughing point yet. I’m still at “buying anarchist-primitivist books” and looking into how to make massive quantities of explosives, while also looking at the locations of BP offices in the country and wondering how to ensure the buildings could be emptied…

  9. This is completely off-topic and not as sad, but thanks to the AV Club I just found out our friend Josh is Like Germany etc etc has had Ricky Gervais declare his love to him. Since I have no other way of ever contacting him, I would just like to say: congrats Josh!

  10. I’m just kinda surprised they were able to get Dane Cook to put fake oil all over his face like that.

  11. 2012?! Pffft those Stupid Mayans were way off! Well, see you at the thunderdome.

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