Photos
Really? Just a couple of weeks after Nick Madson unapologetically performs 20 minutes of Patton Oswalt material to a packed (12 people) crowd at a Des Moines nightclub as if it is his original material, here comes Columbia University “General Studies” (whatever THAT means) Valedictorian, Brian Corman, boldly working Patton Oswalt material into his graduation day speech:
You can hear Patton’s original bit here.
Good speech! Good Valedictorian! This guy is definitely going to go very far. Seriously. He is going to go the farthest. Total champ. Him and Nick Madson are like, “Fist bump.” I hope he puts this on his resume. “Skills: Stand Up Comedy, Lying, Being an Asshole, Graduating.” In his defense, when I used to write for my Junior High School Newspaper (JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL NEWSPAPER! ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO ZITS!) I thought that it wasn’t plagiarism if you changed enough words around, so I would basically copy articles word-for-word from the local paper and just jumble the sentences. But I was in Junior High, and have always been pretty stupid. I was not considered the most exemplary student out of hundreds of exemplary students at an Ivy League University after completing a curriculum of rigorous academic study. So who is the clown now, Brian Corman? And before you answer that rhetorical question, remember this: we can BOTH be clowns. (Thanks for the tip, Becca and JCA.)
UPDATE: the video has already been set to “private”. SCANDAL! COVER UP! Doesn’t really matter, though. Just listen to Patton Oswalt’s bit and then imagine a child repeating it with an air of self-satisfaction, because that’s what happened.
UPDATE: A statement from Thief School Columbia after the jump:
It has come to our attention that a portion of our Valedictorian’s remarks at this year’s School of General Studies Class Day was taken from a comedy routine by Patton Oswalt. As an institution of higher learning that places a core value on respect for the works of others, we were surprised and disappointed to have learned of this matter today. Columbia University and the School of General Studies do not condone or permit the use of someone else’s work without proper citation. The student speaker has appropriately issued an apology to his classmates and to Mr. Oswalt for failing to provide such attribution.
Peter J. Awn
Dean
Columbia University School of General StudiesThe School of General Studies of Columbia University is a liberal arts college in the United States created specifically for students with nontraditional backgrounds seeking a rigorous, traditional, Ivy League undergraduate degree full- or part-time. GS students take the same courses, with the same faculty, and earn the same degree as all other Columbia undergraduates. This year’s class of 230 graduating seniors participated in its Class Day ceremony on May 16 where the school’s valedictory was delivered. Two days later they joined some 12,000 other new Columbia graduates at the University’s main commencement exercises which do not include student or guest speakers.
OK!
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Attack of the PLAGIARIST IRL COMMENTATORS
In fairness I must admit that when I gave my graduation commencement speech I plagiarized that one Bill Hicks bit about Jay Leno shilling for Doritos. Too funny!
PSYCHE JUST KIDDING! I didn’t graduate.
In the spirit of Bill Hicks, I encourage you to go eat an uzi, Steve Winwood. And take Joey Lawrence and Patrick Duffy with you. Don’t forget the extra clips. You’ll need ‘em. Don’t make me pull up G12. I don’t even know what it does, but it’ll be bad. Or maybe not. Maybe it’ll shoot food at a homeless person. Would you like a banana, Steve? We’ve got ‘em. SMARTFRUIT. Just step on the goddamn gas and get your ass (as well as Mr. Lawrence’s and Mr. Duffy’s) on over to Arizona and don’t forget your bathing suits. I hear the big one coming…
This video is private and I cannot see it. I wish I had your elite privileges, Gabe.
most people can’t see it, it seems.
https://twitter.com/pattonoswalt/status/14701471608
I have link! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=va-ZsysRPdI
Steve, I was so excited to see your response to the Thursday night thread about Pierce from Community plagiarizing your song. Then I realized it was Bruce Horsnby. Sad Face
Whaaaa? I didnt commentate on that thread, friend. Is some troll impersonating me?
No, there was no comment, since it wasn’t a Steve Winwood song that he plagiarized. I just mistakenly thought it was.
Well then that’s rad. Have you seen the movie Krull, krull_nugget? It’s rad
I hope your mom saved those junior high articles, Gabe. I would love to read an actual Teen Korner written by a Teen Gabe.
Sample Headline- “How to make the best of the Great Depression”
More like “How to make the best of the Great Depression. Bees Knees!”
(I hope everyone appreciates that I looked up 1920′s slang so that Gabe would still be roughly 10 years behind when he was quoted saying this in the 1930′s)
“I was the valedictorian of my class at Columbia University”
-Nick Madson
This kid is just taking a cue from modern day politics. That’s your candidate, Republican Vaugh Ward, who ripped off President Obama.
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0510/37688.html
“Brian Corman stole my best jooooooke!!! He better appologize [sic] on myspace to me!” – Nick Madson
since I didn’t make it to the video soon enough, could someone who has seen it explain how he worked a rant on KFC into the valedictorian address for Columbia?
i haven’t seen the video, since it doesn’t work anymore, but doesn’t this seem like a very different situation than a person who is being paid and building a reputation as a professional stand up comedian? sure, they should have said “patton oswalt once said…” but graduation speeches are horrible and 75% made of email chain letter wisdom anyway. he probably wouldn’t have done it if he thought anyone besides his parents were actually listening. yes it is disingenuous to pass someone else’s material off as your own, but this is a college graduation speech. give me a break!
Dude, Columbia. Not your local community college. I think you should sort of expect the valedictorian to not be a lazy, dumbass, thief.
have you met people who go to the ivy’s? you should definitely expect them to be lazy dumbass thieves!
George W. Bush went to an ivy league school.
Yarr, a friend of mine went to Columbia and a classmate of hers was caught plagiarizing a paper — lifting entire pages straight from books word for word — and was told “Do that again and you’re OUT.” So she did it again. And they were like, “Um, please consider stopping?” And then she got to graduate with an Ivy League diploma. Yay.
I shoulda went to an ivy, shit.
Wait I’m still trying to get past the idea that hotspur might be a pirate?
Yarr
Grammar, DS3M! It’s “I should OF went to an Ivy.”
Well I think you negate the “general studies” part of “general studies valedictorian. I’m vaguely certain that I was the general studies valedictorian and I don’t even know where the department office is.
It’s Patton Oswalt’s intellectual property. Period. And it’s such a nuanced experience, this Corman guy’s got to be a sociopath to pass it off as his own in front of his fellow students and Columbia professors and staff who KNOW none of this happened.
He completely fabricated a class, a teacher, a student. Columbia doesn’t even offer a Physics for Poets course. This guy’s insane at the very least. And he’s off to law school. Awesome.
Seriously, the worst. Also, does he think he’s the only student at Columbia who has heard that Patton Oswalt bit? Or faculty member, for that matter? I would rather hear a stupid rehashing of public domain chain letter wisdom than something lifted directly from a specific person’s published body of work.
This guy gets my goat!
this is really not a big deal. im not advocating that people go out and work patton oswalt material into their middle management power point slide shows. (actually, i am going to go ahead and say that you should pretty please do that). im saying this is a complete over reaction to the nature of the crime. he had to give a speech to his whole college and he wanted people to enjoy it so he put in something legitimately funny. he didnt ask people to throw money in a hat, he just wanted to get through the speech. my friend amanda once won the school talent show by memorizing a 10 minutes seinfeld routine. let’s call her employer and get her fired! then burn her house down! what a stealer!!! or maybe she just liked that routine and thought other people would like it.
I agree with super! (hope this doesn’t kill your effort to persuade the others, super!) This speech is not on the same level of offense as a comedian performing for money stealing another and obviously vastly superior comedian’s work for commercial profit gain. Still kind of annoying and lame but not as offensive.
I knew this kid in high school that would stay up late every night and memorize the monologues from Letterman, Carson and their comedian guests, then recite these bits the next day at school without giving credit to the source he was plagiarizing from. Of course my other fellow classmates and I had also seen those shows, we would call him out on it and he would get flustered. Annoying, yes, but not worth hanging him over in public scorn and lawsuits.
I spent 4 years in prison once for telling a joke about a guy walking into a bar and finding his ex-wife sharing a beer with the pope. I’d love to tell you the punchline, but my probation officer checks my internet use for jokes everyday.
Thank you. I was getting worried.
Augh! I don’t even care that he used it to pad his speech. Just say that Patton Oswalt did it first! A Seinfeld routine can be just as funny if it’s prefaced with, “For my talent, I am going to do this Seinfeld routine.” Just give the dude credit! It adds one sentence to the speech.
Ask Patton Oswalt if it’s really not a big deal.
i am going to go out on a limb here and say that this person is not a sociopath. he was probably someone nervous about giving an enjoyable speech he assumed would be of little consequence and renown. have you heard other graduation speeches before? they are full of obviously fake anecdotes about whatever and no one cares at all because they are just waiting to go out to dinner and get a check from their grandmother. this speech does not invalidate his degree unless he majored in failure piles with a minor in sadness bowls and spent a semester abroad on the set of king of queens.
he’s going into patents.
Somewhere Carlos Mencia is biding his time waiting for Nick Madson and Brian Corman to destroy each other so that he may swoop in and have all of the jokes to himself.
Columbia University’s Secondatorian is totally pumped today.
salutatorian?
No, I think he had it right the first time. But I was only like, ninthatorian at my school, so what do I know
Hey, at my college commencement the Lt. Governor of Texas misquoted JFK’s line about what we should be doing for our country. I guess that’s not as bad, but in general it seems that commencement speeches are shit. Unless they are done by Conan O’Brien.
That should be our lesson here.
My law school asked Conan to do our commencement speech. Sadly, he has enough sense not to do a shitty law school’s commencement speech.
They’re not always shit.
http://moreintelligentlife.com/story/david-foster-wallace-in-his-own-words
Well, when I was valedictorian of my college class, I wrote the speech all by myself. I got some laughs too.
“I was valedictorian, and I think you all need to know.” -me
I should clarify that it was a class of 86 students. Also, I was told to keep the “speech” under two minutes.
Another copy of the video is on Columbia’s website here under “School of General Studies Class Day”. The “suppurating asshole”* begins about 47 minutes in.
*quote taken from Patton Oswalt’s Stella Dora Breakfast Treat bit
I really don’t know why this keeps happening!
You gotta go into FB and delete Videogum from the list of programs/websites that can access your info.
facebook is terrible. kill your facebook account now
I used to have the facebook problem too. I have worked it all out though. Now I have this problem where every time I navigate to the website I have to login again. And everytime I click the little “Remember me” button, but this never does anything, because Videogum never remembers me.
I feel like visiting Videogum is like visiting an old man in the assisted living center with alzheimers, and I have to explain who I am everytime before they can trust me enough to tell me the story about the kid falling off the trampoline.
If you’re on Twitter, you might want to send that link to Patton Oswalt. Awhile ago he was on Twitter asking for other copies of the speech.
Now there’s an overlay message from the School of General Studies Office of Communication! This got 2 fast, 2 serious.
Patton Oswalt was on Bill Maher’s show last Friday. Not a great interview but he was saying that his father named him after General Patton which I did not know.
Why didn’t they put Patton on the panel as opposed to whoever the woman in the middle was? She was awful.
“I am a Libertarian” – Chick from the Sudan on Bill Maher’s Real Time Panel
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
This is such a tired argument. The whole history of art people have been lifting a piece of someone’s work, then working it into your own efforts in a way that bursts new meaning onto each piece of art. Now, lazy asses who have heard that this happens and have seen stuff stolen online and want to validate their efforts thing that lazily taking someone else’s work and claiming it as your own while doing nothing or worth or interest is the same thing.
The difference is typically about exposure and credit. I have a blog that basically only my family and close friends read, but if I’m block-quoting another person or website, or even using another person’s image, I will credit or link to them. And while plagiarism and theft is common, that doesn’t mean it’s acceptable. If a valedictorian is busted lifting jokes for his address at commencement, then it taints everything he did to earn his valedictorian status. Seriously. Even if he’s not a gifted writer and has to use someone else’s material to beef up his speech, all he has to do is give credit to Patton and then maybe add some of his own insights. It would still be kind of lame, but at least he wouldn’t be forever branded a liar/thief/asshole.
Art is and always has been influenced by other art, but ripoffs are another thing entirely. It’s one thing to be informed by another person’s style or delivery or mood and turn it into something that comes from you, but it’s another thing completely to simply copy and paste whole jokes (or images, or prose, or whatever) and present it as your own. After going to school for 16 years and being told persistently that plagiarism is wrong, this guy had the stupid idiot balls to steal a joke from a famous comedian for his commencement speech and pretend like he’s smart for coming up with it. Fuck that.
I am telling you I never knowingly plagiarized before. And when you say “I’m not sure I even believe stealing is wrong,” you sound like a sociopath.
But set aside morality if you like, and look at it from a totally self-involved point of view: do you want to think Nick Madson is an amazing genius? What happens when you discover he is a fake — doesn’t that damage everyone’s credibility in your eyes, because how can you tell who’s real anymore? Doesn’t it make you realize that maybe your own credibility is under suspicion, because how are other people to know you really came up with the clever stuff you came up with? Now let’s say you’re a musician. You write a great song. Someone else gets the credit & money. So much for your music career — back to painting houses, and the whole world misses out on whatever career you might have built on top of that hit if you had just gotten the encouragement & cash when you most needed it.
Now, an Ivy League BA gets you access to higher-paying jobs than that same BA from, say, Ball State. By lying in his speech, this guy has made it clear that he is not above lying to get his grades; and has called into question the honesty of everyone graduating that day, and whether they really did work harder for their BAs than all those Ball Staters. Can we trust that these Ivy kids are the hardworking, honest ones who really deserve the starting salary of $150k — that they are the best among us? No, it seems maybe they are the worst. Trust is damaged. Our whole civilization is damaged. Things fall apart fast. If you favor stealing.
iTunes!
Is stealing wrong? Our society makes me confused on such issues. Perhaps this was the point I was making?? Or maybe you are right and I am a sociopath.
Artists “stealing” and than making “original art” is NOT a tiered issue. It’s called post- modern art and its happing right now. This issue is only going to get slammed into your face a million different ways over and over again just like today with this kid.
The idea of ownership needs to be re-evaluated. You do no good with your tisk tisk “stealing is wrong” speech. This keeps happening and getting self-righteous about it doesn’t fix the problem.
And dude seriously it’s Columbia, I doubt he’s starting at 150K. RELAX.
“Things fall apart fast. If you favor stealing.” — hotspur
“we want our land back” –Native Americans everywhere
I don’t see how your example of post-modern art pertains to this scenario. And even in the post-modern art world, there is at least some individualization or personal interpretation. You’re not going to see someone walk into MoMA with a Warhol print saying, “I made this, you should hang it up because I made it and it’s great.”
And while ownership and intellectual property rights are nebulous, I agree, this doesn’t fall under that heading. This was a joke that was written, published and sold by Patton Oswalt, that this kid presented as his own to an audience of peers and superiors. It’s not a gray area, it’s just wrong. It’s wrong whether he’s making 150k to start or 15k.
Like I said before, just because it’s prevalent behavior doesn’t mean it’s acceptable, and Patton Oswalt has every reason to make it an issue and push it back in this kid’s face. I also think it’s fair for each of us to be vigilant about it in our own lives.
Ugh, this type of failed, watered-down conception of post-modernism that consist of little more than “I heard about this thing that makes it okay to do whatever I want or not even do anything but just steal other stuff and call it art” drives me mad.
Hit Girl: “it’s Columbia, I doubt he’s starting at 150K.” Well, depends on the major. I was an English & History major, so no matter where I went, I was destined to spend 7 years driving a Hyundai Excel without a radio.
I do have a distant relative who went to Columbia Law and is currently a multi-millionaire defending giant corporations. He says he wouldn’t have that job if he’d gotten his degree at a non-Ivy; law is an insular world, and some firms hire mainly out of Harvard, others mainly out of Yale, etc; if they take a Stanford grad they think they’ve made a radical departure. Given this, I’d like to be convinced that people who have these advantages got them by being better than me, not by being worse. (Also, I have a fancier car now.)
As for postmodern art, I’m not tsk-tsking it. But even postmodernism is not a matter of appropriating other people’s work and presenting it as originally yours. No one did what Warhol did before him, and no one else can do it now that he’s done it. It’s his genius, not yours.
It definitely does not depend on your major. $150K is not a starting salary for any college graduate. (I wish it were.) Had he graduated from the Law school and started at a NY firm he would be making at least 160K/year excluding his bonus (and I could go on about this because law school recruiting is my job, but I’ll spare you guys). Anyway – he graduated from GS, which means he just got his BA, so no big bucks for this guy. Especially not after this little disaster.
“I plagiarise all the time” – Hit_Girl
every god damn day.
In the interest of honesty, I must confess that I took none of the pictures that I have posted on Videogum. I just found them on the internet. The LOL-Cthulhu that a posted a week or so ago, I didn’t make. I haven’t made any LOL-type or related images ever.
The pictures of my cat that I posted are really of my cat, but I didn’t take the pictures.
As a lawyer, I copy and paste pretty much all day, every day. That’s just what I do.
Just want to be up front, yo.
Mans,
I figure you’re mostly joking, but even so, there’s still a difference between what you do here, and what is being done in this speech, what Hit_Girl is trying to defend.
When you take the pictures, you’re moving them from their original context (and therefore any possible original meaning) and into a new context that shifts their meaning through the interaction with other comments, a shift caused by you. Both the meaning of whatever you are posting in response to, and the the meaning of the photo. In the case of the Cthulhu kid, think of the previous exchanges and how it then builds into them, through your association enacted by you.
In addition, you’re doing this all within a context where ownership is pretty much never assumed. I only asked if Cthulhu was your kid out of hope.
This speech does none of that. Ownership is assumed and there was no work done to bring that into doubt, and the stolen material is simply dropped into the speech without shifting or developing the meaning of either.
#overeducatedgum
We agree. I am just making a joke.
Is a college auditorium not a different “context”? He made no money off the speech. When you quote movies to your friends do you do you give credit to the writer. 1984. We are getting close guys.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
It’s a different context that does absolutly nothing for either of them. In the context of Patton’s stand-up, and in the context of a pathetic graduation speech, the word-for-word stealing does not shift the meaning of Patton’s joke whatsoever, and it does not change the meaning of the speech at all.
That comparison to a one-on-one or a within a group situation doesn’t hold at all. It’s not a performance then, at all. And within a group of friends, again, that is a situation where the people you are quoting to very likely know the reference.
If you want to talk about post-modern art, you’d do best not to bring in a cliche without it being anything but dead words, and give up on the concept of sincerity.
And no, no we’re not getting close to 1984 because a lazy graduation speech writer stole from a stand-up comic and people are upset.
Whether or not he made money off of it is irrelevant. When you’re writing a research paper for a class (not for money), you’re not allowed to (or are not supposed to, anyway, and will usually get kicked out of school if caught) copy and paste another person’s words as your own (whether it’s a literary criticism or scientific conclusion or anything). The point is that you have to do the work. He didn’t do the work on this speech. If he’s willing to steal someone else’s work for a speech which, even if it sucks, isn’t going to have much bearing on his future or reputation, then what would he be willing to do on that research paper to get a good grade and earn his valedictorian spot? At the very least, he’s stupid for plagiarizing so blatantly in such a public forum. It’s not imitation or flattery if you don’t acknowledge who you’re imitating. It’s simply biting someone else’s material as your own. Sorry to keep replying to your replies to other people’s comments, but I feel very strongly about this.
Also, ptsmith_vt is right. In a casual setting among friends, like here on this thread, most of the people will know the origin of a joke. If I quote Idiocracy around my friends, I don’t need to reference the movie every time. A valedictory speech at a college commencement (whether it’s Ivy or not) is not a casual setting. It’s his opportunity to present himself to his classmates and the faculty. He chose to present himself as a funny guy who comes up with funny jokes, when in fact he isn’t that at all.
I appreciate that.
ptsmith_vt,
People are only upset when someone tells them to be upset. No one in the audience was upset when he gave the speech and I’m sure SOME people there knew what was going on. And even if they didn’t who cares! It was a SPEECH! It’s over now. It served it’s purpose and now it’s done.
I also think it’s unfair how everyone here seems to just “know” this kid is a spoiled lazy brat who cheated on every test he ever took just because of one stupid speech. You all don’t really know this boy and frankly I feel really badly for him today. I doubt he thought this would ever happen.
It’s also unfair for our society to pick and choose what is and isn’t stealing based on public opinion. Group Think here we come.
It is hilarious/sad that you are accusing other people of “groupthink” because they are defending the primacy of the individual and trying to make sure one creative mind (P. Oswalt) gets the credit for his own invention. I am pretty sure that is the opposite of Orwell’s dystopia.
Similarly you berate other commenters here for “knowing” this kid is lazy, but you yourself claim that “No one in the audience was upset when he gave the speech.” You can’t know that.
Thirdly it is hilarious/sad that you think this instance of lying doesn’t matter because it was just “a SPEECH! It’s over now. It served it’s purpose” — yes, and it’s purpose was (in part) to make 100s of strangers think that Brian Corman has a brilliant comic mind. Which he does not.
hotspur,
It is hilarious/sad that you are so brainwashed and yet believe you are forward thinking.
I guess it doesn’t bother you that something private that happened at a graduation ceremony is now everywhere. One day that kid could be you… and I’ll bet if/when that day comes you will be thankful for someone like me. Someone who doesn’t blindly throw stones just because the “internet said it was bad.”
Have you noticed that you’re using one of the weakest argumentative styles there is? Person A makes a point. Person B responds to that point. Person A makes an entirely different point as if continuing the discussion, when really they’ve just tried to change the ground of the discussion.
People are only upset when someone tells them to be upset. And people are only not upset when people tell them to be not upset. I really can’t get past your attempt to bring post-modernism into the discussion to make your point, but then entirely dropping any and all of its conceits in the rest of your argument. You can’t go on to accuse any of us of being brainwashed without recognizing your own stance as coming from yet another brainwashing. And calling the graduation something private? That doesn’t exist if you want to be on the side of post-modern appropriation. You make it sound like that is something that should bother us, because it bothers you, but you don’t think we should be bothered by blatant and unoriginal thievery? And it can’t be unfair for society to pick and choose what is and isn’t stealing based on public opinion — it’s post-modernism (or actually, post-modernism’s conception of how society works…!
I’m not sure where your argument is going, but it has been entertaining/frustrating to read. I think you could have made a salient point if you had expanded on the idea of copyright/intellectual property vs. art in the internet age. I think that is maybe what you were trying to get at in your original post.
However, this instance of plagiarism is not defensible under the constraints of that argument, anyway. This guy didn’t change the context or intent of the bit he stole; it wasn’t an expression of artistry. He just stole someone else’s bit, and as an added bonus, he stole someone’s bit who is partly famous for having his intellectual property stolen by assholes.
Instead of arguing any of that, though, you go on to say stuff about 1984, and group think, and the sky is falling, and that it isn’t fair that a majority opinion decides things, all of which make no sense in the context of this story or this argument. I mean, you tried to argue that because he repeated the bit in a college auditorium, that it changed the context of it. really? That makes me think that you don’t understand the concepts that you are writing about.
I hope I am wrong, but I doubt it.
I gave a speech at graduation, too. It was fun. I plagiarized Richie Cunningham’s valedictorian speech in it’s entirety.
For some reason, I can view this in Google Reader on my iPhone, so if anyone wants to see it, come over to my house.
You know, you all laughed at me for reading Videogum this way, because it results in truncated posts that aren’t able to play 80% of the videos, but NOW WHO’S LAUGHING?
:ɹǝʍsuɐACTUALLY: It’s back up, with an apology:
BEN KINGSLEY: CLASS ACT
I see your Ben Kingsley and I raise you a John Malkovich:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTFfbTSO20&feature=related
I’m glad Patton Oswald got an apology…though I’m not sure what wrong was done to him.
The most annoying thing about it is that that story got more laughs than anything else he said that may or may not have been in his own words. So he even though he didn’t get any money, he’s still profiting from Patton’s joke by making people think that he has more charisma and wit than he actually does. So he’s still a fucking thief no matter how you look at it.
“I wrote Mr. Corman’s commencement speech. That’s my material.”
- Nick Madson
As someone who has just dealt with rampant postgraduate end of term assignment plagiarism I feel we need to come up with some suitable juggalo-related punishment.
Fuckin’ citations, how do they work?
Should we assume that the professor did not, in fact, go home, sit in a hot bath, and open a couple of veins?
Nor did he refer to them as “wood nymphs.”
I don’t know why nobody is busting that Lena Park character for totally copping Francis Scott Key’s style.
I’ve stayed away from academia for a while now and just recently have considered going back for a higher degree but this reminder video has brought back feelings of hate like nothing else. From the fucking robes to the 100% self-importance saturation to the fact that in the introduction of Corman old man had to read his lame generic application letter that name dropped his Senator dad. Well gee, your favorite person in the world is your dad? How old are you, sev-oh wait, he’s dead and he’s famous and powerful? Come on in, as a person of privilege we feel the need to give you more. Top it off with that stupid message that he forgot to attribute his material to Patton Oswalt just to remind us that he will in no way pay for his casual steal besides public humiliation despite the fact that he’s going to a prestigious law school. This is pretty much what the public should expect from Ivy-league institutions, dick institution produces and supports another dick.
“I’ve made a huge mistake.” —Brian Corman’s new wife