Photos
I do love this show, you guys. It’s fun! I mean, it has really gotten ridiculous lately, and you could already kind of tell during last season’s Clockstoppers business that we were probably on a collision course with disappointment. “Two seasons after I found out the island could get dislodged from time, a disappointment surgeon fell out of the sky…and if that’s not proof of Good Grief, I don’t know what is.” Maybe even earlier than last season. Maybe Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof really have been planning this whole thing out from the beginning. Maybe they’ve known we were going to be frustrated and unsatisfied and disappointed all along. But I did get kind of bummed during last night’s episode that it’s all going to be over on Sunday. Now what are we supposed to watch? Bones? I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS! Anyway, I don’t care what anyone says, last week’s episode was a Nonsense Monster, which was too bad because I had really been looking forward to it, but so this week it was nice to get back to all our old pals. The gang! Where’s Vincent? Oh shit, was Vincent on the submarine? That would explain why Sayid said “It was always going to be you, Vincent,” right before running off with that bomb. Kablong!
Anyway, OK, down to business. Enough Vincent jokes (OR IS IT?). Jack wakes up in bizarro LA and he has a cut on his neck. Hey, where did that come from? Obviously, we know that it’s some kind of weird crossover from the two realities, but it’s not like I would put it past Jack to CUT HIMSELF SLEEPING. Jack is dumb.
Jack’s son (oh right, Jack has a son!) has made breakfast, although as Jack points out, “opening a box of cereal doesn’t really count as making breakfast.” Cool dad. What a piece of shit. He’s probably just caught in the vicious cycle of parental abuse because of how his dad criticized him for not being able to make breakfast when he was a kid. Oh look, here comes Claire! Quick, everyone look surprised!
Hi, Claire!
Jack’s son reminds Jack about his upcoming concert that evening. Jack is definitely going to be there. And so is his son’s mom. Oooh, mystery mom! I can’t wait to see who she is! Do you guys like how I’m pretending like I don’t know that his son’s mom is Juliette? Neat! Jack’s son’s mom has to be Juliette. Right? Right. Mystery solved. Go home, Master of Disguise, we’ve cracked the case.
NEXT MYSTERY, PLEASE. Jack gets a phone call from Oceanic Airlines telling him that they’ve found his “cargo.” Jack is like “you found my dad’s coffin?” Way to hold some customer service dude’s feet to the fire. But it’s not some customer service dude! It’s Desmond! Hi, Desmond! He says the coffin will be arriving in Los Angeles that afternoon. What are you up to, Desmond? Well, one thing that he is up to is beating the shit out of Ben.
Ouch! He explains to Ben, in between punches, that he wasn’t trying to hurt Locke when he ran him over with his car, he was only trying to get him to let go. Ben is like, “who are you?” And Desmond is like “Punch punch punch throw on the ground drive away.” Ben gets treated by the school nurse for his face. Locke comes in. Hey, Locke. Hey, Ben. Bye, Nurse. Ben explains to Locke that the man who smooshed him with his car came back to the school and beat Ben up. Locke is like, “Oh then I am going to call the police.” Hahaha. I mean, sure, that is probably the right thing to do. But don’t you think someone would have done that by now if someone wanted to do that? “Oh Locke, you think of everything. It never even crossed my mind, nor the mind of any of the school’s administrators, to call the police. Well, that’s what makes you such a good substitute high school teacher. Smarts!” Ben tells him not to call the police, because when he was getting punched, he got a glimpse of the other reality, he FELT IT, and he thinks Desmond really was trying to help Locke by smashing him into pieces with his car. Sure. Whatever. I mean, personally I think that even with a glimpse of the other side, even with FEELING IT, it would still be an incredible mental leap to believe that someone ran over someone else and left them for dead in a parking lot out of charity. But we have other things to worry about. Like WHAT ROUSSEAU IS MAKING FOR DINNER?!
Just kidding, who cares. Have fun at dinner, Ben.
Meanwhile, it doesn’t matter that Locke never called the police on Desmond because Desmond has already turned himself in. What is he up to?! Something, I bet! Of course, Detective Miles and Detective Sawyer are there. And so are Kate and Sayid. But there is no time for reminiscing about alternate times, because the crooks are being sent to county. Kate asks Detective Sawyer to let her out. HAHAHAHAH. Classic Kate. Smart strategy. Admittedly, it is Bizarro LA, so I suppose anything could happen, but it turns out that even in Bizarro LA, cops don’t let criminals out of jail just because the criminals ask to be let out. Kate says that Sawyer doesn’t look like a cop, and Sawyer makes a meaningful face like he knows what she is talking about. But he can’t know what she is talking about. Maybe he just has gas.
In the transport van, Desmond is all smiles. He promises Sayid and Kate that he can get them out of the transport van if they both promise to do something for him. Sayid promises right away because Sayid thinks it’s all some joke. He’s a trained assassin, so he knows a joke when he hears one. Kate promises too, because Sayid promised, and Kate doesn’t want to be left out of the Promise Circle. OK, they’ve promised. Stop the van. Just then, the van stops. WHAT?! How did Desmond know?! The door opens and it’s Ana Lucia.
Eww. If I was Kate or Sayid I would ask Ana Lucia to close the door and take me to jail if it meant not having to see Ana Lucia’s face anymore. Yuck. Ana Lucia wants her money. Desmond tells her that his friend is coming with it. Then he puts his suit on like a boss.
Just then Hurley pulls up in his Hummer. Hi, Hurley! He is like, “Oh, hey, it’s Ana Lucia.” Haaaaa. Desmond explains that she’s not coming with them because she’s “not ready yet.” Whoa. This is getting intense. Where are they going, anyway? Well, I don’t know where Hurley and Sayid are going. But Desmond and Kate are going to a concert. Because the key to the island and this whole show is in Jack’s son’s piano recital!
Oh, and Locke goes to Jack and says he is ready for the elective, experimental spinal surgery. High five.
Oh man, when Locke lets go, something is going to happen!!!!!!!!
Can we go back to the island now, please?!
Jack is stitching up Kate’s bullet wound. Remember how in the first episode it was Kate who was stitching up Jack? Boy, this thing has really come full circle. Just kidding. This thing has not come full circle at all. If I had to use a shape to describe the direction of this show it would be:
Kate makes a bunch of good faces. Very acting. Very stitches.
Jack, hey, just had a thought, if you have enough thread, you should definitely sew Kate’s mouth shut. No big deal. Just a suggestion. Kate is like, “Locke did this to our friends. We have to kill him.” And Jack is like, I know. Uh, you guys? I don’t know how many times I have to keep saying this, but you’re talking about a paranormal, immortal, shape-shifting smoke monster who is the incarnation of pure evil. So don’t just talk about him like he’s a dude. “We have to kill him.” Right. How about, “we have to what is he even?” Better.
Sawyer sees a life preserver and it’s almost too much for him.
Awww. “This garbage washing up on shores makes tears wash up on my face.” And now, Sawyer and Jack and Kate and Hurley head into the jungle to find Desmond.
Meanwhile, Ben! Ricardo Alperto! Miles! There you are! Where have you guys been? Oh, walking through the jungle to get to the old Dharma houses to find Ben’s hidden C4 to blow up the plane? Really? Because you shouldn’t have bothered. We all realized the plane was a non-starter, like, six episodes ago. Shame on Ricardo Alperto for seriously thinking that the Smoke Monster was ever going to leave the island on an airplane. Even I knew that from the very beginning, and I am not 600 YEARS OLD AND COVERED IN MASCARA.
They take a quick break to look at the unmarked plot of grass where Ben’s daughter Alex is buried.
Done. And now on to the C4! They get the C4 and are going to go blow up that plane (seriously, guys, let it go with this plane business) when they run into Zoe and Widmore. Oh hey! Widmore is so thirsty.
He tells them that he’s had the plane rigged with explosives since he got to the island. I really hope this means no one even mentions that fucking airplane again. I hate that thing. Ben wants to know how Widmore got back to the island. He says that Jacob invited him and convinced him of the error of his ways and told him everything he needed to know for this exact purpose. “What purpose?” Ben asks. Just then: CRACKLE ON THE WALKIE TALKIES. Hey. Wait. What purpose?! Oh well, no time for that because here comes Locke. Miles is out of there.
Makes sense. Someone has to be the new Lapidus. Bye Miles. Widmore and Zoe hide in Ben’s closet. Sure, a windowless room with one exit? With Ben guarding the door? That ought to be very safe. If anything, it’s too safe. These guys know:
Ben and Ricardo Alperto decide that it is time to face Locke, mano-e-mano-e-smoke-monster. Ricardo is like, “no sweat.” He thinks that all Locke wants is for him to join Team Locke. Whoops. It turns out all that Locke wants is to SMASH HIM.
Boy-oy-oing. Bye, Ricardo. (He’ll be back. No duh.) Locke turns back into Locke and joins Ben on the porch.
This is my favorite part of shape-shifters is when they turn from one thing into another thing and that thing happens to be wearing clothes. So great. So good at shape-shifting. That shirt looks perfect! It is just the right amount of sun-bleached, too. I wonder how long it takes as a shape-shifter to get the clothes just so. I bet when he first started shape-shifting, the Smoke Monster was always wearing brand new clothes, and people were suspicious because they were like, “Where did you get those brand new clothes? This island is in the middle of nowhere!” But now he’s got it down pat. Also, is that knife part of his body? You know what I mean? If he’s a Smoke Monster in the shape of John Locke, I just, you know, where does the knife come from? Well, I am sure this is something that will be addressed in the finale.
Locke tells Ben that he needs him to kill some people for him, and that once he leaves the island, Ben can have it all to himself. “Widmore and Zoe are in my closet!” Slow down, Ben, jeeeeeeez. Ben shows Locke in there and Locke immediately cuts Zoe’s throat in half. Why are you cutting yourself in the throat, nerd, why are you cutting yourself in the throat? Locke tells Widmore that the first thing he’s going to do when he gets off the island is kill Widmore’s daughter, unless Widmore tells him why he brought Desmond back. I hope that Locke has a little Moleskin where he’s writing down all these promises he’s making to everyone about what he’s going to do when he gets off the island. I mean, I know for sure that he definitely wants to and plans on keeping all of them, but even a Smoke Monster can forget sometimes. Widmore refuses to answer his question in front of Ben (us) and so he whispers it in Locke’s smoke ear.
Haha. FOILED AGAIN! What’s in the ear?!
Then Ben shoots him. Because of Alex. And because Ben is evil again. And now Ben wants to go kill everyone. Yuck. It just goes to show, you can take the Ben out of the hatch, but you can’t take the BEN IS SUCH A JERK!
Back in the jungle, Jack and Sawyer and Kate and Hurley are heading to the well to find Desmond when Hurley sees the ghost of Baby Jacob.
He asks Hurley to give him the satchel containing Jacob’s ashes. Hurley is like, “definitely, right away, no questions asked.” Which, actually, fair enough. What are you going to do, argue with a savage ghost child? The boy runs away and Hurley chases him, because you don’t ask savage ghost children any questions, but you do chase them. But when he gets to the clearing, Adult-Sized Jacob Ghost is there. Hi, Jacob!
This time, everyone can see him, for as long as the fire with his ashes in it is burning. Huh? OK. Yes. Fine. At this point, you know what, fine. And when the fire burns out, he will be gone forever, so he needs to find a replacement to guard the island. Sure. Yes. He says that he is going to explain everything, but then he basically just recaps last week’s episode. Then he explains that either Hurley, Jack, Kate, or Sawyer will take his place. Really? Even Kate? Well then Kate wants to know why her name was crossed out. “It’s just a line of chalk in a cave,” Jacob says. OH COME ON. Jacob. Please. Stay with us, Jacob. This whole thing is about to unravel. “Why do we need to protect the island?” Sawyer asks. “Oh, you don’t. Yeah, no, the Man in Black can leave any time. I’m just kind of goofing around with this whole thing.” I mean that is what we are approaching here.
But so, Jacob wants them all to have the one thing he never had: choice. But if none of them chooses it then the world ends? Maybe choice is not so great IN THIS PARTICULAR INSTANCE. “It’s yours if you want it, Kate,” Jacob says. Kate is like, “nah.” Jack wants it, though. Of course he does. Jack wants it so bad. Sawyer is remarkably silent.
So now it’s Jack. They go to the river. Unfortunately, the Man in Black smashed the wine 400 years ago. Water will have to do. I guess water can do now? Seems like the wine was really important last time, but fair enough. Jacob asks if Jack has a cup, and Jack is like, “I do, actually.” Haha. Phew. The fate of humanity would have really been in jeopardy if Jack didn’t have a cup, but don’t worry guys. Jack has a cup. Jacob fills the cup with river water and gives it to Jack. He drinks. So now it’s Jack. It’s not Jack, though, right? I mean, obviously, whoever is in charge of the island is going to be revealed in the finale. Something tells me this whole Jack thing is a red herring. Besides, Jack can’t even protect his arm from ridiculously awful tattoos, how is he going to protect the light? Oh well. Drink up, Jack.
Ben and Locke show up at the well where Desmond is trapped. Except that he’s not trapped there anymore. He’s gone.
Locke doesn’t care. Wait, what? Locke is happy that Desmond is alive and not in the well anymore. Huh? Why did you walk all the way to the well, then? You could have been happy from the porch! There were comfortable chairs on the porch! Ben asks why he’s happy and what Widmore said to him, and Locke says that Desmond is a failsafe in case Locke kills all of Jacob’s candidates, a final attempt to keep him on the island. And he’s happy because he’s going to find Desmond, and Desmond is going to help him do the one thing that he’s never been able to do himself: leave the island DESTROY THE ISLAND.
Oh hell. WHICH IS IT? Do you want to leave the island or do you want to destroy the island? And didn’t you just tell Ben two hours ago that when you left the island he could have it all to himself? But now you are going to destroy it? So why is he going to keep helping you? ARGHHHHHHHHH! AND JUST WHEN THIS EPISODE WAS SO CLOSE TO NOT DRIVING ME CRAZY! Motherfuckers.
Sunday: goodnight.
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“If I don’t sew this up, it will get infected”
Don’t be a hero, Jack! Let her go, it’s too late for her now!
“Seriously, I can do this. Your bullet hole looks just like a dural sac. Hey…did I ever tell you about the time…”
“If I can’t sew these plot holes up, the series will become infected.”
Notsewfast, when I think of sewing up Kate’s bullet wounds, I think of how relevant your name is. THE SLOWER THE BETTER!
Wait, I don’t get what I said anymore. Forget it.
“It made sense when I wrote it” – the Lost writers
More “Kill Kate” jpgs, please.
I don’t get why everyone hates Kate.
Sometimes she’s annoying, but I do agree with you, Steve Winwood, that she is very beautiful.
GUYS! I JUST CAUGHT UP ON THIS WHOLE SEASON OF LOST! (honestly the best way to watch…all in one fell swoop, immediate payoff, less anxiety, less waiting…except for that initial wait for the WHOLE SEASON TO BE ALMOST OVER AND YOU COULD DIE BECAUSE NO SPOILERS AND SUCH but I really enjoyed it) AND NOW I’M READING ALL THE BLOGS! (you cats are GRUMP-E btw, but I love you still) Anyway! I like Kate! or at least I am SO over hating her and just want EVERYONE (everyone: Shannon, Sawyer, Libby, Sun, Hurley, Desmond, Jin, Kate, Rose, Ben, Locke, Jack, Walt, Miles, You, Me: EVERYONE WE KNOW) to be happy! Do you think that will happen? My breath is held.
of course you don’t. Steve Winwood? Not agreeing with everyone? Unbelievable!
So if the bullet passed clean through isn’t there an exit wound to sew up too? Having not been shot I don’t really know….
Yeah, I thought exit wounds were a pretty big deal, too?
Steven Seagal wouldn’t have made of movie about them if they weren’t
No one can argue with that.
It exited out the same hole it came in through after bouncing off whatever it is inside of Kate that makes her the worst.
or maybe it was magnets… it was probably magnets.
Fucking Miracles
Fucking exit wounds. How do they work?
I really enjoyed Locke’s method of getting some alone time with Ben. “Go over there, Ricardo, us big boys us are talking.”
SmokeLocke is pretty big on throat-punching Richard. . . even in smoke form he goes for the throat-punch.
I had a dream the finale ends in a speech by Jack McBrayer, and also a bunch of penises.
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I have no opinion regarding this matter
LOLOLOL the most elaborate joke anyone’s ever made, I’m sure.
Too elaborate. It should be funny, but it actually makes me feel sad for the poster. Hopefully he made this blog on his company’s time and not his private time.
No. That was when Gabe convinced us all that he didn’t exist.
what the hell is this?
Wow, and I thought I wasted my time by making a fake Nick Madson resume and screen-capping it. Well, I did, but you sir make me feel better about how i spend my time at work.
I laughed, and I upvoted you. Surely it was just a few copy-pastes, not really that much effort? I don’t understand all the hate.
Backstagebethy, YOU ARE NICK MADSON!
And I would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it hadn’t been for you pesky kids, facetacos, etc.
oh come on, this is funny.
Seriously guys, what’s with all the hate? It’s just a joke. I don’t see any reason to get all Oxbow Incident on the guy.
Re: watching Bones
Hey, people who live in “Fringe” houses shouldn’t throw show stones, okay?
Yeah, but Gabe watches Fringe for PACEY WITTER. You can’t really blame him.
Uh, hello? ANGEL is on Bones! Angel >> Pacey anyday.
OH NO YOU DIDN’T. Angel is not fit to wash Pacey’s awful Hawaiian shirts. Go angst somewhere else, SNORANGEL (That’s Snore + Angel, btw).
Oh, Omelette. There’s enough room for all of us. Let’s be thankful we don’t have to fight over who gets all the moderately capable actors on TV.
p.s. Team Angel 4EVA
Oh I love this fight!
YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!! Angel would tear your precious baby Pacey to PIECES!! Your dog-faced boyfriend wouldn’t have a chance again my undead man!
Pacey? More like PUSSEY!! (Ewww, sorry.)
This is fun! But seriously, Angel is way better than Pacey.
Team Pacey.
I can’t reply directly to your comment about PUSSEY, which is good because I can’t see this ending anywhere but in a cage. Where we’d be fighting.
Do you know who also loves vampires? THAT GIRL FROM TWILIGHT. Yeah, I did.
You know who else? This girl:
She’s pretty
…and rachel uchitel.
But Buffy has superpowers, including the superpower of being a huge girlcrush of mine. When Angel loses his soul, you’re just gonna go the way of Jenny Calendar, and who’s gonna be laughing then? PACEY AND I.
I had a crush on her too, back in the ’90s.
not rly sure who this pacey guy is? maybe you mean charlie conway?
Come on, you guys, give a mighty ducks fan some credit!
My name is Senator Tankerbell and I enjoy Bones.
Team Castle.
Nobody has acknowledged Lapidus’ (maybe) submarine death yet! Here, I fixed the line for you showrunners:
“Jin and Sun had a daughter named Ji-Yeon. . . Jin never met her. . . And Lapidus . . . he just made the last payment on a party boat . . .he was going to name it The Cheeseburger in Paradise. . . it was going to have a margarita bar . . .”
Team Chesty 4evah!
I wish I could upvote this times a million
Yeah, you know, I kind of was a little surprised that Jin and Sun would just orphan their daughter that way. I am not married and don’t have kids, but I know from watching a lot of movies and TV that you are supposed to sacrifice your partner or yourself for your baby.
I get Jin caring about Sun more than about the daughter he’s never met, I do. I don’t get Sun not sending him away for their daughter, though. WHO’S EVEN GONNA RAISE HER?
Oh, right, Kate.
Well, at least Ji-Yeon will be SO UPSET with her surrogate mother (no, duh) that she’ll blow up her house while Kate’s passed out drunk.
Party on, Ji-Yeon.
Kate was chalked off because she “became a mother.” Then why in the light-hole didn’t Jin and Sun get taken off the list? And what about Jack’s annoying bizarro-world-sort-of kid? Do these kids not count? What the??
Not if you’re Ayelet Waldman!
Books aren’t allowed in this discussion!
Lapidus isn’t dead, he is THE ONE, duh.
i would party boat with Lapidus
For the first time in his career an Alan Dale character dies of something other than a heart attack…
Well he was SO SURPRISED about being shot that he had one… you just didn’t see it. And just when Ben decided to not poison him, too. Shame.
Happy, clean, alive Danielle Rousseau raising her wonderfully adorable, precocious daughter and suddenly being a little in love with Ben…is enough for me. I’m serious. Fuck the statue and all those dead pregnant ladies. Fuck the hieroglyphs in the Swan station. Fuck the mental institution, Matthew Abbadon, Disappearing Walt, and wherever CJ came from. I’m happy*.
(* OK, I’d really like to know what’s up with Eloise Hawking knowing when someone is using knowledge from other realities and why it makes her so cross, but OTHER THAN THAT, I AM HAPPY.)
I will be happy if at least 43 minutes of the final episode is dedicated to Danielle and Ben making-out.
Word! Their hinted-at romance was the best part of the season.
yes, this. until jack blows up the alternate reality due to FEELING IT.
she made crepes probably
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Man, Soft Gabe will be here to cover that later, this is Losttown.
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This thread is like battle of the worsts
“Lets settle this by watching a marathon of NCIS while drinking warm diet root beer.”
jerkface killah i realize this post is over a year old and you are probably dead by now, but you deserved so many more upvotes
Did anyone else think of Jesus-symbolism when Jacob turned the water into wine?
I mostly just thought about how terrible Jacob is and how this show’s pseudo-religious imagery is deeply unsatisfying.
Yeah. I’m not trying to let my atheism show here, because religion imagery can be done *excellently*, but I wanted Lost to be more sci-fi than fantasy, more this-island-is-a-crazy-sci-fi-spot than this-island-keeps-the-light-of-life.
I think that is why people are having a hard time with the final season. The show is a mix of sci-fi (which gives you answers, ridiculous as they may be) and fantasy (because colors and magic). I think the writers will take the fantasy approach to some questions (what is the island why is it there) and the sci-fi approach to others (Desmond, Whitmore, time travel, Universe/reality dislocation).
I think you got it, jwormyk.
I really really hope you’re right.
Spoiler alert: I DO NOT WATCH LOST. But… This whole island martyr business sounds an awful lot like these writers got a hold of a copy of The Golden Bough and got a hard-on for the whole “priests of Diana guarding the tree” business, no?
Really, Losties? No one sees the parallel? The priest had to guard the tree until another young priest came along and unseated him, by KILLING HIM WITH A SWORD. And then THAT priest had to wait for someone to come along and do it to him. And then Colonel Kurtz reads about it and goes apeshit in the jungle, DON’T YOU PEOPLE READ?!
Always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said:
“It’s not where you take things from- it’s where you take them to.”
I think you’d have to actually watch Lost to make your analogy stick but yes, I am familiar with the Golden Bough.
“I am familiar with The Golden Bough” – me and sen_tankerbell
Yeah, I saw Apocalypse Now. Is that reading?
Not to over-analyze the show (HAHA, right) but I don’t really even care what thematic direction they might have taken it, I just want it to make sense and in some small way repay the viewer for investing in the characters. It makes no sense for Jacob to have brought these “candidates” to the island to fight the smoke monster and then waste six seasons having them fight each other, the Dharma initiative, and the Others before you finally tell them what’s going on. No amount of wine in a bottle or time travel shenanigans will make that conclusion satisfying.
You’re ruining it for me! Because I see your point, even though I don’t wanna. My first explanation for why Jacob didn’t tell them what’s going on was that he needed them to sorta bond with the Island on their own, so that when he told them that they’d always needed it he wouldn’t sound like a crackpot jerk. Actually, wait, I just contradicted what I was going to say. Because that WAS something they had to realize on their own. If they hadn’t left and then come back, they would’ve always been, “waaah, the Island sucks, gimme Doritos.” They had to CHOOSE to come back. And what with all the time travel going on, the only real opportunity he had to get them all together and present his case was right then, when he did, during THIS episode. I mean, as far as I remember, he’s been dead ever since they returned to the present, and he couldn’t apparate (or whatever) so that they all could see him until he got his ashes back. But he couldn’t get them from Ilana because she couldn’t see his ghost. OK, granted, he could have told Hugo to get his ashes back but maybe he was waiting for a time when Jack, Sawyer and Hugo were all together, because he could only apparate once and they were (in his mind, and mine) the most likely candidates! YES! THIS MAKES SENSE!
That was the definition of over-analysis but it literally just occurred to me and I got all excited. I have cracked this segment of the Lost code. Now gimme my prize.
Mr H, so awesome I could cry.
I’ll take it. And I’ll try not to cry during the ceremony.
I was sitting there freaking out. I was going “WINE?! WINE?! WINE?! WINE?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! IS THIS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?! NO. STOP. STOP.”
But then Jack didn’t lick the bottom of the cup and whisper “So good…like the pie in Spider Man 3 it hits your tongue and it’s just so good…” so it was just ambiguous enough for me not to put my head through anything.
I couldn’t help myself…
or acid in yo kool aid?
It’s a shame Desmond didn’t know about the “Pure Being” technique from I Heart Huckabees.
He could’ve saved Ben from that viscious beating by just whapping him with a ball over and over.
Oh, I just got the Well joke..
Gabe’s so funny!
It’s just chalk in a cave.
It’s just chalk in a cave.
IT’S JUST CHALK IN A CAVE.
I’m using that to explain everything in life from now on. Why am I late to work? It’s just chalk in a cave. Where do babies come from? It’s just chalk in a cave. Why does the blood in your shirt match the victim’s blood? It’s just chalk in a cave. Lost: it’s just chalk in a cave, y’know? It doesn’t mean anything.
It’s just chalk in a cave. It’s just a hundred or so carvings into a magic lighthouse that is presumably centuries old made solely for the purpose of observing a bunch of people in their mid-thirties.
WALT? WALT?!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALT
For real. They can answer every question that way now. “The island can jump through time and apparently space. It’s just the time-space continuum, that’s not what matters. What matter is: Kate, do you choose Jack or Sawyer?”
Well, Lost is a show about trying to find meaning in a confusing world. In the end, I think its message is: things don’t mean as much as we think (hope?) they do.
I really did find that satisfying, somehow! Jacob was basically like “Ok, I know, magical island, but like…give me a break. 360 points on a compass, an immortal douchebag has to take a few notes.”
Speaking of which, how many other people yelled the d-word at their television when Jacob said those magic words “Now you’re just like me.”
Don’t get me wrong, I like mystery and no answers, it’s just that I’m afraid the island won’t be explained at all. It will be just “well, it’s MAGICAL”. WE ALREADY KNOW THAT. Idk, I don’t expect any answers at all, but if they started a show about a freaky island, the least I expected was for them to know what the freaky island is.
and it AT LEAST has to be more than a vague “this light is inside all men” pseudo-scifi garbage. i have been with this show from the beginning and have read LOSTpedia (this is the first time these things have been bragged about) – if they don’t even try to come up with some sort of interesting backstory as to why it matters that the man in black stays on the island…
well, i’ll probably just have to start watching “the x-files” or something.
Yes. Yes. The X Files is the answer to all your “WTF Lost, you didn’t have any of this planned and I’ll never get any satisfying answers!” problems. Oh yes, it most definitely is. Totally. Go for it!
As far as the “light” goes, I suspect this is one of the things that was part of the first story meeting with JJ Abrams, when a lot of the plot details were decided. Because it reminds me sooo much of all that Oskar Mueller (I had to Wikipedia that name) bullshit that plagued Alias. I didn’t watch the show all the way to the end. I think I stopped watching after they conjured a big globe of red goo over the city. I was like, “There is no explanation good enough to explain this bullshit.”. It wasn’t JUST because of that – there were many things that bugged me, like what kinda spy breaks down and cries during the middle of a getaway? – but that was the pivotal moment. And I have a feeling that the “light” is gonna be another floating glob of red goo. But I’m at peace with that, because in my opinion the show has so much more going for it, where Alias didn’t.
“Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage” would have made just as much sense.
Despite all your rage!
(it is still just chalk in a cave.)
and a lion is just a lion, and a god is just a god
Widmore’s funeral was incredibly sad. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cF-CE0_uHxk
It’s OCgum up here this week!
That’s all I’ve ever wanted in a website.
I’m pretty sure Rousseau was making coq au vin, which made me really hungry. Everybody’s invited to my Lost finale coq au vin party!*
*Not really. My apartment is very small and I will probably just be making Dharma nachos or some crap.
I just loved that Alex said ‘Its coq au vin night!’ Like that’s just something French ladies do on Tuesdays: Dancing with the stars and coq au vin. I can’t wait for Thursday, that’s escargot night!
I’m so glad you guys brought this up! This is being the most nit-picky ever but coq au vin takes hours and hours and hours to make and I was totally annoyed that Alex and Danielle acted like this was normal Tuesday night dinner food.
You know of all the things to be frustrated with on this show, what fringe characters make for dinner in a sideways flash is definitely the most important.
Also I am French and my name is Danielle so this all hit home.
Sorry.
Oh man, I should never have looked up the recipe for coq au vin. Lardons and blood thickening? I can’t stop gagging.
Did anyone else notice the woman doing the voice over for the next episode clip? It sounded like an old lady and a small girl at the same time, with a dash of Moaning Myrtle. Harry Potter jokez!
I thought it sounded like Zelda Rubinstein, who famously played the diminutive psychic in Poltergeist, but then she died earlier this year. OR DID SHE?
Yeah I thought that was Poltergeist lady also
Don’t tell Betty White what she can’t do!
pretty sure it was Linda Hunt, who is infact a cross breed of an old woman and a small girl.
Actually, she was born with Turner’s Syndrome:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turner_syndrome
I thought it was the woman from Desperate Housewives or maybe Gossip Girl. I don’t know. The point is there are no real answers.
I thought it was the Shadout Mapes.
I think it’s funny to picture Locke transforming from Smoke Monster back into himself and hastily/clumsily fumbling to put his clothes back on. Then he pauses for a second to get his Smokey composure back before making his appearance.
I wish I could upvote this a million times.
All day at work, when I’ve gotten bored, I’ve come back to look at this
Oh my god. Pepsi was literally just spewed all over my room. UPVOTE.
WHOA.
The numbers are EVERYwhere.
Well, it might be the best thing I’ve ever seen ever. I AM STILL LAUGHING 30 votes later!
Save a screen cap of your monster’s ball win for you hover grandchildren ♥
I think it’s funny. But give credit where credit is due. You didn’t make this, you found it on reddit.
FINALE PREDICTION- They all go to the music recital and the band plays ‘Make your own kind of music’ and everyone sings along and laughs together, and then Jack looks into the camera and says ‘You’ve been a great audience!’ and then BOOM fade to WHITE! and in big letters it says FOUND!!!!
I cannot stop laughing at this
1 addition, ben linus sings “pure imagination” from willy wonka before jack’s solute.
Agreed. This is my favorite post. Can the whole cast be waving at the camera and smiling also?
I logged in just to upvote this. A+++++ excellent work good job etc.
Just like “August Rush,” except Sayid playing the Robin Williams “character.”
Well its pretty clear that its going to be jack vs smoke monster on sunday, but I’m sure jack will find somehow to screw it up. The question is who is going to step up and save the island once jack dies, my money is on kate because it would make all the horrible kate moments worthwhile, and would be unexpected. Or the island will just blow up, or go back in time? Who knows!
Also, out of the 100 or so mysteries still unanswered, (http://io9.com/5540279/50-questions-lost-really-does-need-to-answer) Where does that knife keep coming from?! And the clothes?! I’m going to be yelling so loud on sunday at this show for not answering my questions.
Aha! You forgot BERNARD AND ROSE! And VINCENT! The three of them will set up a tropical paradise.
If nothing else, this episode of Lost has provided me with the bulletproof legal defense for running over helpless old men in wheelchairs. “I wasn’t trying to kill him, I was just trying to help him let go, YOUR HONOUR.”
Should I start watching this show? I know so many smart people that watch it. You guys will let me know if JJ Abrams ended up pranking all of you, right?
I’m very very very very very sorry for this bit of gratuitous bitchiness here, but this is A Pet Peeve. JJ Abrams doesn’t write Lost! He just helped get it on the air! I am a giant nerd, somebody slash my throat!
On the original question: you’ll tell me, won’t you?
I will, incredimarc, rest assured I will.
I just realized that when people who don’t know much about LOST give J.J. Abrams the credit and all the LOST fans have to correct them and tell them about Damon and Carlton, etc., it’s a lot like that Brian Posehn joke where he drives by the line of Star Wars nerds outside the theater and he shouts, “Star Trek sucks!” and all the nerds are like, “It’s Star WARS! Get it right!” Ahh, so funny.
Hey guys, remember when the penultimate episode of the season was intensely dramatic, setting-up the big finale and tying together all the narrative threads? Remember?
“Well, I know it looks like I just stopped the van and unhandcuffed all the fugitives, but that’s not what happened at all. Also, I won the lottery so I QUIT!”- Ana Lucia to her lieutenant.
So, LA Jack was eating Super Bran cereal and Island Jack drank drank dysentery water off the jungle floor. Pretty sure this means the two universes will merge when both Jacks get diarrhea. His face in the jungle after drinking the water definitely looked like he was feeling it.
I genuinely hope it turns out Lost has been one extremely elaborate poop joke.
I can only imagine how the Island causes irregularity. (Thats the real reason MIB wants to get off of it).
I remember in college how during my essay exams I would always spend too much time on a couple of essays and that when I got to my last essay I was scrambling to write out an answer in the limited time I had left. My essay exams are Lost.
And you started off with a really clear idea of what you were trying to say, but then a few paragraphs in you lost your train of thought and rambled for a while before frantically trying to pull it all together to make some sort of logical sense, even though you knew your TA would see through your bullshit and just give you a C? Yup, I remember that.
basically the last paragraph was “because power constructs and such”
Any student of mine that ends his or her essay with “It’s just chalk in a cave” will get an A+ times a million.
K wait, this “concert” is going to somehow be a hybrid Jack´s son´s piano recital Daniel Faraday weird classical music rock hybrid (nested hybrids) at Miles´ dad´s museum… right??!?
Featuring DRIVESHAFT!
You all everybody!
Seriously, what does “You all everybody!” even mean? That means nothing, right?
http://lostpedia.wikia.com/wiki/You_Are_Everybody
Awesome.
A true work of art.
Haha, I drew that!
Dear Bizarro-LAPD,
Is it a smart idea to keep your male prisoners in cells that are adjacent to your female prisoners?
I dunno, I’m no crime-stopper guy.
I’ve never been arrested for anything (so far!), but I’ve always imagined the clink being a lot less Andy Griffith-y looking. Especially in LA. And don’t they take away your street clothes? I’m assuming none of the Lost writers have ever been locked up either.
for the sheer amount of time i have spent defending this show’s writing staff (“it’s not about the dialogue! it’s the story!”) as well as general kookiness (when will people GET OVER the polar bear thing?)…LOST should seriously write me a check if this finale fails.
ALSO, why are they even bothering with Bizarro LA? It’s so fucking BORING. Just show the island’s shit going down for a full hour, maybe then we’d get through half the unanswered questions. Plus these episodes have to only be 30 minutes considering the insane commercial breaks.
My theory is that all the stuff happening in the Flash-sideways happened in the past, within the context of the overall narrative. I think Juliet will turn out to be Jack’s ex in Bizarro LA (or BLA) and that something will happen to her in BLA that gives her the ability to remember what happened there. Which is why says in the first episode of this season that the nuclear detonation worked, that it did re-set the timeline. Because it did. But for whatever reason, the new timeline didn’t stick – maybe because the “light” was going out (I hope not, and I doubt it) – which is why flashes of the old timeline are bleeding through. My further theory is that Jacob is right, and the real reason the old timeline is bleeding through is because all the people he brought to the island needed it so badly that they couldn’t endure a reality without it and its “light” (oh, why couldn’t it have been anything other than “light,” that’s my only complaint). So something’s gonna happen at this recital which will force all the Losties gathered to choose one reality over the other – in a “clap if you believe in Tinkerbell!” kind of way – so that the end of Bizarro LA will become the first episode of this season, with Juliet saying, “It worked.”
Phew. I hope that made sense. It does in my head.
In all seriousness I think what you describe would be pretty cool.
My outrage after last week’s episode has subsided thanks to the awesomeness that is Desmond. Can’t wait to see how he makes everyone FEEL IT at the concert.
Orgy. Definitely.
I think we all know there is only one way:
Mans! That’s Dimebag Darrel From Pantera! He was shot and killed on stage by a stalker fan! How could YOU Mans?! I believed in you!
I don’t understand why you are mad at me? To make everyone FEEL IT, Desmond brings out Dimebag to solo (see photo above). Am I missing something?
I’m sorry i thought you were making fun of his death on-stage, I should have known better. I apologize. You are still the best.
That’s alright. Maybe I should have gone with:
What if he pulls an “Inglorious Bastards” mass murder.
That would give me such a lady boner…
Sunday night preview right here:
I want him to make Faraday feel it, if you know what I mean. You know what I mean, because it was obvious and gross. I’m sorry. I’m apologizing all over the place today!
[I'm not sorry, Desmond/Faraday forever, you can't judge me.]
I don’t watch this show, but i already know how it ends:
In the surreal final episode, Roseanne reveals that the events in most of the series were all the pages of her writings. The reality is that Dan’s heart attack killed him, the Conner family didn’t win the lottery, Becky married David instead of Mark, Darlene married Mark instead of David, and Jackie was gay rather than straight.
Sorry everybody!
or Locke had an autistic son and the whole series was inside his snowglobe, that had an island in it
Or maybe they’ll all end up in jail talking about the second button on his dress-shirt.
I mean, it is the most important button!
After last week’s episode, I was pleased:
1. Desmond was awesome.
2. Ben and Danielle were cute.
3. Ben in general, in both lives, was great and again moved me.
4. Zoe died without having any consequence on the show.
5. Jacob explain some stuff and Jack too the job without having to ACTING.
6. Lemonade.
7. It was pretty exciting.
I mentioned this last week, but I will restate in brief, as people didn’t like it last week: I don’t really feel like Lost is going down a “magic” over science path. I think the show has dabbled in both science and religion as ways that humans try to understand the inexplicable and that in general the show is more about myth than anything else. Faraday tried to use science to understand. Locke tries to use faith. But, I do think that over all the writers are trying to stay vague because the mechanics behind this stuff is less important than the characters. Maybe this is unsatisfying to some, but I don’t mind it.
I don’t even mind the plot holes and really goofy crap. I mean, I started watching the show because it is crazy-go-nuts and if the last 2.5 hours are an info-dump of lots of stuff that makes sense, I am going to be disappointed. I want emotional release and I want echos of ancient mythology–and also hot people making-out. Is that so much to ask?
Depends on the hot people making out. As long as you don’t mean Kate, I can deal with that. If you mean Desmond making out with everyone, I can really deal with that, and will give the finale an A+++++++.
My problem is that I was always more into the mysteries than the people. So emotional resolution is great, for the few characters I still care about, but I really need at least one of those hours to be all mindfuck sci-fi nonsense.
I propose an accord: Desmond makes out with a cyborg of Juliet for 108 minutes.
They should just have Kate, Claire and Ana Lucia naked three way. I’d watch all 9 seasons of that
And you, my Mans, just wrote the best possible Lost series finale.
Wait, but I want to see Richard making out. With me. For 108 minutes.
er……….
Wait, so would you be like, outside your own body, voyeuristically watching him make out with you? That’d be pretty out there.
Just make sure his eyeliner doesn’t stain your sheets.
I agree with you 1000%. We are obviously soul-mates. Marry me. It doesn’t have to be at gun-point. Just say yes.
was anyone else half expecting Jack to rapidly age a la Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade? i guess he chose wisely.
I’m sorry for all the smart people who loved this show all these years who now have to suffer this disappointment. I argued for years with friends who loved LOST that it was “fake smart”, that the false sense of mystery the writers developed was just empty bad serial TV, and that the fake drama cliff hanger or plot developments such as they were had no substance to them what so ever, that there was no actual “there” there. The sloppy way these writers are trying to “wrap up” everything in these final episodes is just highlighting how sloppy this show has been all along. Goodbye and good riddance to you, LOST.
I often wonder if you are good looking.
Some of us never expected a perfect resolution, Stevie. Some of us knew what we were going into, and were just along for the ride. And it’s been a pretty great ride, most of the time. I have NO REGRETS.
There’s a difference between a “perfect resolution” and a sloppy tacked-on mythology and swift elimination via random death of a lot of characters who had years worth of long convoluted back stories that never developed in to anything interesting. I feel like this final season is just highlighting the contrived falseness of the show’s vapid attempt at mystery. I feel like Gabe’s LOST recaps do a much better job of articulating my own feelings about the show, but what’s frustrating for me about this is that he arrives at the opposite conclusion that I do. He actually thinks the show has value while at the same time he describes it perfectly. That’s as frustrating for me as reading music critics accurately describe the work of Hold Steady yet fail to arrive at the conclusion that Hold Steady is the worst. It’s the indie music equivalent of LOST in terms of popular acceptance of something terrible. (Sideways alternate tangent.)
Also I think Michelle Rodriguez aka Ana Lucia is pretty.
I can’t reply to your other comment, but I had to say hearing from Steve Winwood to ignore something if I don’t like it TOTALLY made my day.
The Hold Steady is alright. I like that song about the chill-out tent.
I don’t think anyone’s unaware of the show’s faults, which are mostly a product of it being a SHOW on TELEVISION and not a painting frozen in time in the Louvre. To say that the story telling is as tight as it is in a fair-to-good novel would be wrong. But none of the writers have the luxury of going back to the first chapter and changing things before the final product airs, because the story had to be delivered in episodes and on time. Whatever gaps or faults there are aren’t necessarily the result of bad planning, they’re because whenever the final product is dependent on the vicissitudes of TIME, shit is going to go wrong. The only things that have ever gone “as planned” are things that have been rewritten, including history.
Considering all the factors working against this show, I think it’s done a marvelous job of answering all my questions so far without making me feel like a moron for ever caring, because the only other show I can think of that’s tried to do what Lost is doing is Battlestar Galactica, which fucked up beyond redemption when it made Starbuck the second (or actually, given the show’s timeline, the first) coming of Jesus.
(The Krakatoa Alarmist falls to his knees and balls his fists and screams at the sky: NOOOOOO!)
So maybe you’re judging the show by a higher standard than I am. Judged against a fully-realized novel, it’s mostly crap. But judged against anything else that’s been forced into an episodic format on TV, it’s fucking awesome.
People still watch Saturday Night Live because it’s Live. It’s trapped in time. Unfortunately, Saturday Night Live is usually awful for that reason. But I will be very surprised if Lost fails to stick the landing.
Also, yes, Michelle Rodriguez is pretty.
Maybe I’ll make agreeing with your commentator memes my commentator meme.
Krakatoa, I think you really have hit the nail on the head here.
I was talking about this at work: when we see a movie or read a novel, we tend to take it on its terms and judge it accordingly. I watch the movie for its three hours or read the book for its 500 pages and then at then decide if I like it. When the filmmaker or writer makes choices I go with them because I am in their thrall at that point.
Television on the other hand, being episodic, is more open to our second guessing it along the way. Even putting aside for a moment any flaws a show might acutally have, and we all admit that Lost has tons, even a perfect show would be susceptible to this. We would watch the pilot and the first season, love it, but then everyone would begin to form their opinion of what should happen; where the show should go. With television, no matter where a show goes, it will disappoint some, many, most.
I think that this can be seen in the difference in opinions that people who started watching the show at different times have. If you have been with it the whole way, season 2 or 3 is where it started to go wrong. I started at the end of season 4 and if I were to pick a spot where the river got rocky it would be after that. My sister just started watching and she thinks it is all great. This is because we don’t have a chance to quibble while we are in the moment.
Again, not saying that Lost doesn’t have some holes in its bucket, but I agree that part of the problem is just the nature of television.
your high aren’t you?
But don’t Gabe’s recap show you exactly what you seem completely unable to see? That Lost fans are not brainwashed polar bears who are completely blind to its faults? They just find it, you know, entertaining? Like television should be? I just feel like every week you come in these threads, and, to be honest, in most of your comments everywhere on Videogum, and talk like you’re bringing us BRAND. NEW. INFORMATION about this. Stevie-poo, WE KNOW. Gabe knows. You’re not telling us that Soylent Green is people. We know it was Earth all along. It’s just that, surprisingly enough, people can get different things from the same starting point. Maybe you’re only 11 and don’t know that yet, but as you grow up and mature, you’ll discover some pretty amazing things.
I do love your comment. Deeply.
“omelette du fromage”, no I think that Gabe’s recaps of LOST sound like someone who does not enjoy watching LOST for the same reasons I don’t enjoy watching LOST. The show is not entertaining at all. It’s contrived and unsatisfying. I’m sorry this isn’t brand new information. Just ignore my comment if you don’t like it.
Steve’s still right. Dedicated fans were still cheated out of a thoroughly thought out plotline. It became stabs in the dark to please demographics. Hey, that’s life, but some of us have higher standards for entertainment. You could say Transformers 2 is a blast because it’s high budget, has beautiful people and there’s never a lack of explosions. And if you want to leave it at that, fine. Doesn’t mean it was good. Same applies to LOST.
Dedicated fan of the show/Laughed a lot at the end there (at them, not with them)/Lost interest. Sigh. Headed back to The Wire, Weeds, etc. Over and out.
I’m really torn here, because I hate The Hold Steady almost as much as I love Lost. But I really, really love Lost, so a downvote for you, sir.
I’ve been practicing my defense of Lost on many message boards lately, but I still haven’t quite fully articulated why I love it so. Here goes another attempt:
Lost is a self-aware, sadistic soap opera that freely appropriates from Stephen King, Twilight Zone, Star Trek, Star Wars, Buffy, Indiana Jones, comics, video games and more. It blatantly references hallmarks of philosophy, religion, literature, and pop culture, thereby making its milieu and possible interpretive lenses explicit. Its exaggerated sci-fi/fantasy/myth-flavored magic realism highlights the mysteriousness of human existence and the possibility of healing and redemption following communal crisis and personal failures. It is a show about mystery and not a mystery show; details are more likely to be non-sequiturs than clues, and these details develop a theme about how meaning is found and made by both characters and viewers. It has remained abstract enough to allow multiple interpretations to be argued successfully but concrete enough to hold together as a single narrative. It has mostly restrained from giving meaning but instead provided just enough to provoke surprise, debate, and creative attempts to fill in the blanks. It has shown (to varying degrees of success) more sensitivity to cultural heritage and gender than one expects in primetime network drama. It is character-based drama, and though these characters are portrayed on a larger-than-life scale, they are allowed to be funny, sad, hopeful, fearful, good, bad, trusting, conniving, attractive, and repugnant, all at the same time and in a way that I find moving and true. It has invited debates on the existence and meaning of God, fate vs. free will, faith vs. science, and moral relativity into households that otherwise may never have considered such things. It is a game being played by the characters (survivors v. Others, Ben v. Widmore, MIB v. Jacob) and well as by viewers in the manner of “Myst” or a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book. In the end, it’s just been a lot of fun. Doesn’t that sound like the best? No? Oh, well.
Whew. I am very sorry, everyone.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
fearlessweaver, that was great.
So you’re saying it embraces all the polarities of existence without choosing either side, just expressing them? I agree.
Up-thread I described myself as the definition of over-analysis. You, sir, have stolen my crown from me. In a good way.
No, not in a good way. Gimme back my crown! I demand satisfaction!
*glove slap*
(throaty whisper) Rapiers at dawn. Prepare for a puncturation!
Fearlessweaver–Wow. That is pretty much the best way to put how I feel. I am going to print this comment out and adopt it and then leave my estate to it when I die.
Final comment: Krakaotov watchin silent and Mans are both all like “Its just TV so ‘So what? Who cares?’ – Fred Armistin in drag – Its just TV.” But I’m all like “Tell that to the people behind The Wire. Tell that to the people behind Arrested Development, Deadwood, and/or Sanford and Son. Basically I’m all like FUCK YOU for denegrating the medium of television in order to defend a sloppy lame weak sauce product. LOST sucks and we deserve better. Let justice be done though the Heavens fall.” The End. I own this blog commentator thread bitches. What?
That wasn’t really what I was saying, Mr Assforaface (now we’re feuding!). None of the shows you listed were as mythology-laden as Lost. I’m not saying that The Wire and most of those other shows (Sanford and Son? it’s hard to tell if you’re joking or not) weren’t awesome shows, but they all had a lot more freedom to change direction from episode to episode because of their lack of mythology, or – in the case of Arrested Development – because they didn’t take their mythology too seriously. But if you want to gauge whether Lost is succeeding or failing, you have to measure it against Battlestar Galactica and X-Files and all those Stargate shows (which I haven’t watched ) and even all the Buffy and Angel shows (which I have). Honestly, I prefer Buffy out of all those but it lacked the cohesive narrative and forward momentum that Lost has always had. Yes, ALWAYS. If you can’t see it, then I don’t think you’re looking hard enough. Mr Buttockswherehisvisageshouldbe. (FEUD!)
And ALSO, as good as The Wire is, and as good as Deadwood is, I don’t think either of them can compare to a fair-to-good novel as far as story-telling goes. I mean, if we’re going to have this discussion – even though that was your FINAL comment – I think you’d be hard pressed to defend all the story-telling decisions that were made from season to season, and even within seasons. It’s not seamless, is what I’m saying. But I am not interested in having this conversation, because I already know that I am right and I have grown fairly bored of you fairly quickly, but it is something worth thinking about, not that you will, because I prefaced it by saying that I was bored of you. Which I am.
I think an interesting show to compare Lost to would be Carnivale. I loved the first season and hated the second, and then it got cancelled and we never learned where it was going to go. Cancellation aside, there was some change in the second season that was dissatisfying to me, though now it has been so long, I don’t remember what it was. But when I was watching that first season–gosh, it was great.
Of those shows you mention Steve, Arrested D. and Sanford are the only two I’ve watched. AD thrived on televisions flawed conventions. I just realized that if Lost were made by the creators of AD would be the best television show ever. Jason Bateman as Jack; Will Arnet as Sawyer. Oh, LORD–I’ve SAVED TELEVISION!
Also, Sanford and Son had problems in its later seasons when Fred left and Grady ran the shop.
I also recognize that this comment will only be read by people who already agree with me or who are not going to agree no matter what.
***Can we all at least agree that “Arrested Development: Lost” would be the best television show ever? Think of all the times that Jack could say “I’ve made a huge mistake.”***
Don’t be sorry. This is the most articulate defense of the show I’ve ever read.
“I’m smart.” —Steve Winwood
don’t worry everyone, when you die on lost island, your consolation prize is a stint as an audience member on dancing with the stars in an alternate, alternate universe where it is the only show on television.
I’m hoping that Desmond is gonna start with his time/space jumps again (or already has) and is going to win the show in bizarro LA.
My name is Desmond Hume. You killed my father in law I don’t really care for in an alternate timeline. Prepare to die, brutha.
Then everyone goes to Mr. Clucks for the last two hours, soes they can reminisce.
Then everyone goes to Mr. Clucks for the last two hours, soes they can reminisce.
You mean like that final scene in Pineapple Express where they were sitting in the diner reminiscing about things that happened to them throughout the course of the film? That was a hilarious scene and definitely refreshed my memory regarding what I just saw. LOST should definitely do that.
Which reality is this in? If it is mine, I’m there.
LOST has been reminding me of Days of Our Lives (i know) recently. there was a killer and all these characters were murdered, but then you find out they’re all alive on an island. also this:
In reality, Marlena had survived the plane crash and was in a coma. Sometime during the period that Marlena was in a coma, Stefano Dimera got possession of Marlena and hid her on an island. Marlena was kept in a drug induced coma which she would awake from for brief periods of time. She was impregnanted with genetically engineered twins which she gave birth to on the island. The twins were taken away from her shortly afterwards. Marlena would have no recollection of this experience until 2003.
maybe the LOST writers got high and watched Days?
Solved!
I think the moment I realized LOST was going to end badly was after all the brouhaha made over the hatch, and how hard it was to get inside the thing, sometimes in the next season the walked around a bunch of palm fronds and found the back entrance . That told me the writers didn’t get what made the hatch mystery so interesting in the first place. And after all, those numbers are really going to mean nothing? They were etched on the hatch itself, the radiomen in the snow were calling those numbers, and Hurley won the lottery with them – but it’s just, a co-in-ci-dennnnnnce?
Maybe the finale will be a child blowing an endless stream of bubbles, and inside each bubble is a tiny Jack and Kate and Sawyer and Hurley, all spinning variations of the LOST stories to date, in innumerable bizarro worlds.
1.) I cried tears of joy when Zoe got the Sweeney Todd.
2.) I’ll miss the show, of course, but my Wednesday afternoons will be tragically empty of Gabe’s Lost humor, and that makes me very sad.
haybrofo: “my Wednesday afternoons will be tragically empty of Gabe’s Lost humor”
I agree that calls for a frowny face emoticon. We might fight viciously but we are still a family, damn it, and can come together as brothers and sisters and laugh at how bad LOST is
you clearly were adopted
OH YEAH!? Well YOU were ABORTED!!!
I’m so sad to have found (Lost pun?) this site on the tail-end (airplane pun?) of the series. But I am holding off on reading old recaps so I will have something to do with my time after Sunday. Anyone frequent the ABC boards? I was on there in the first season or so but things got too ridiculous.
Oh my God, Kracatoa- you made my day with those names
Here is my final prediction:
Jack does something to dick it up and gets himself killed.
Because he’s immune to electromagnetism, they throw Desmond down the light-hole. Because of how special he is, he does not become a smoke monster. He instead is in some kind of nexus of all realities where he is able to smush the divergent timelines back together.
Enter John Locke, fresh from spinal surgery, memories intact. Before anyone can say a word, he whips out one of those knives he’s been stroking for the better part of the last decade and puts it right in Imposter Locke’s chest. Smokey being in Locke’s form somehow makes Locke from the bizarro reality someone who can kill him. You can’t take the guy’s “place” if he’s not dead (there are holes in this, but bear with me. It’s Lost, after all). He goes the way of the Wicked Witch of the West, melting into a puddle of smoke.
Everybody gets to go home, except Real Locke, who takes his rightful place as the island’s eternal protector.
Kate and Sawyer raise Ji-Yeon, and possibly Aaron. I really don’t know what’s likely to come of Claire.
I also haven’t really thought out how a reality-smush would affect the other characters but…I’m really invested in the “Two Lockes Enter, One Locke Leaves” scenario.
Have a great summer everybody! Make your own kind of music, indeed.
Here is a great set of interviews with the guys who play Jacob and MIB.
http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/47024873.html
Who thinks Desmond is going to be the new Jacob?
Hey, where the hell did Claire go? Wasn’t she with Locke? Jesus Christ, this show!
I’m willing to accept Jacob’s explanation as to why everything happened with his ‘I made a whoopsies and need you to fix it but I was sleeping for 5 seasons (God time is longer) and I finally woke up to be killed and then took a season-long ghost nappy and NOW I’m letting you know what to do and why’ because as a viewer I HAVE NO CHOICE, but when he said that the candidates were brought to the island because they were lonely, flawed people he became my least favorite character on this show. Congrats, Kate and Jack!
Really, the writers became my least favorite writers. Talk about tacked on, the whole time people have been wondering why these characters were special and tied to the island..turns out a momma’s boy who threw a tantrum and needed someone to fix his mistake just thought these people were lonely and would have a better life playing Sisyphus until his stoned, droopy eyelidded slow talking vague ass got up from his white hammock and finished his white looming project of the century to tell them something, anything.
What about the Kwons? They weren’t lonely and had marriage problems like every other couple. Ok, so they ‘found’ each other while on the island and got knocked up but THEN THEY DIED and then in the alt reality they’re worse off than that. Thanks, Jake. How about Bernard and Rose? Maybe he just wanted wanted to cure her cancer? Whatever. Walt and his dad? Same as the Kwons, they bonded and then dad died. Juliette was taken away from her sister. Et cetera…that’s Latin for motherfuck this show.
Lost is one of the best series of all time, it’s my second favorite after chuck.
http://squidoo.com/chuck-dvd