If there is one thing that people who love to play videogames know about it is the crushing desperation of loneliness and the impossibility of finding true romantic love. THE LEGEND OF ZINGD-YA. Just kidding, nerds. I know that videogames have broken through to the mainstream now, and children are fighting tooth and nail to get the XBOX controller out of their mom’s hands. “Just one more level of Mommy Makeover 2: Space Face!” But a videogame adaptation about a garbage reality show in which some date rapist tries to find love in a sea of plastic surgery enthusiasts? Yuck. Now you, too, can perpetuate the notion that all women really want is to get married, regardless of the circumstances surrounding that marriage, like, even if it’s to a man who is so thoroughly suspect that despite his television-caliber good looks, his effusive charm, and his apparent success in business, he still supposedly can’t manage to find a human being to care about and at the same time thinks that reality TV is a reasonable way to do so, or at the very least to fulfill the tiny dark star of his incredible ego. But you, of course, are also a self-absorbed piece of work with a desire to be thought of as special but an inability to see that this desire is the very thing that makes you plain. SOUNDS LIKE A FUN GAME. Of course, this game isn’t just for the ladies. It’s also for the fellas, because The Bachelor: The Videogame includes The Bachelorette: The Videogame FOR FREE! (Because as we all know, The Bachelorette is a program strictly 4 tha guyz.) It’s crazy how they were able to fit two incredible games on one disc. Miracles, the magic miracles.

Actual trailer for this actual game which is real and which you are going to buy and play and win (and lose) after the jump:

Check it out, guys, I found a cool cheat code: UP-DOWN-LEFT-RIGHT-A-B-SELECT-GUNSHOT. (Via TVSquad.)

Comments (71)
  1. I’m sceptical.

  2. Maybe now that our moms have a video game all their own they’ll stop telling us to get off our “gamebox” as they call it, ah parents

    • True Story:
      My mom beat Super Mario 2 before I did and laughed at me for playing as Princess Peach which she deemed “too easy.” Usually I would only get a turn on the Super Nintendo if both my mom and brother had something else to do (like cook dinner and do homework). It was why I tried to do all my homework at school…the next morning before class started.

  3. I’m holding out for ‘the Marriage Ref’ game.

  4. Experience the Drama of Dating and the Fun of Flirting…without actually having to do either.

  5. Is this a real thing, or am I having extremely vivid hallucinations? Is it wrong that I am hoping for the hallucinations?

  6. I don’t know if I’m gonna have time to play The Bachelor until I beat Cold Stone: Scoop It Up

  7. I can’t wait for The Bachelor 2: I’m Not Here To Make Friends!

  8. This game will never work! I’m pretty sure saliva damage is not covered by your Wii controller’s warranty.

  9. i am currently playing in a game of dungeons and dragons, and yet even i am way too cool for the bachelor: the video game.

  10. Andy Baldwin? Someone fill me in. Is there a Baldwin I don’t know about that appeared on this horrible show?

    Also, I was expecting something much worse than this. The characters are kind of stylized and goofy looking. I thought they were going to go for realism, which would have been WAY more hilarious. This looks like The Sims: Hot Date, but worse.

  11. which button gives Herpes?

  12. I enjoy playing the game Boxed In on my iPhone. True story.

  13. What? No ability to try and win a date with Samus Aran?

  14. It’s good to know that my virtual host Chris Harrison is featured.

  15. I like how it’s pretty obvious there are like 4 places to do stuff in the game: balcony, hot tub, living room and poolside.

  16. Is there a same-sex version of this? because if not i’m both glad and offended.

  17. Does the winner get to ride off onnnnn the winnngs of loooove?

    • and onto the next reality “skills” competition show of ABC’s choosing? I will buy this game for my ma if it will get her on Dancing with the Stars, she loves that show.

  18. Nice call on getting Chris Hansen to host though.

  19. rumor has it there is a secret level where one can play as a shunned/crazed bachelorette.
    there is access to swords, guns and grenades, as well as using everyday objects as weapons to
    assault the other ladies. once all competition has been eliminated, you may choose to have mercy on the bachelor, or not.

  20. Unusual in the category of videogames based on horrifying dating shows, Rock of Love With Bret Michaels: Rockin’ the Wii gets kind of touching when you fight the boss monster.

  21. Are there helicopter rides for the castoffs? And if so, is it controllable?

    I’m ashamed that I know of the helicopter ride.

  22. I can see it now: You beat the game by picking your true love, and it ends with her saying, “Sorry, Mario, but our princess is in another castle.”

  23. In this game, you can’t win, why? Because if you were dumb enough to devote time and money to this game you will always be a loser, forever.

  24. I’m waiting for the “Kill Reality” videogame for Wii, where you can use the Wii-mote to poop on your fellow contestants.
    (I really just wanted an excuse to type “Wii-mote”. And make a poop joke.)

  25. I already have trouble watching TV at home due to The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Top Model, Project Runaway and now I can’t play nintendo either? Boo Title 9!

  26. Well, atleast the girls look slightly more real in this game.

  27. WARNING GUYS!!! Do not use the cheat code, it doesn’t do anything good!!!!!

    My friend tried it and destroyed my parents flat screen. My mom is gonna be even madder than when we threw our wii-motes at the tv.

    Thanks alot Gabe!!!!

  28. Eagerly anticipating the day when Hollywood steps in. The Bachelor: The Videogame: The Movie

  29. Why, why, why does this exist?

  30. I just hope this game has a capuchin you can give roses to and make out with, ala http://www.avclub.com/articles/house-md,41188/

  31. A black bachelor? FAKE!

  32. i’m curious about how the Wii hand held remotes will come into play…

  33. Rated RP for ‘rapey’

  34. no one plays the wii

  35. My favorite part was that siiick guitar riff at the end. Welp see ya later videogames. I’m gonna go play outside now.

  36. Mom, I finally did it! I got my dream job making videogames!

    …the next day…

  37. At 0:27 it appears that you get to “experience the drama of dating” and domestic violence!

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