kesha

After the jump, I have posted Ke$ha’s new music video for her hit single, “Your Love Is My Drug.” And make no mistake, it IS a hit single. Yesterday it was reported that Ke$ha is the first artist in 2010 to sell more than one million (ONE MILLION) copies each of three different songs. Can you imagine? By all accounts, she is a huge success. And if there is any formula to her success (peroxide + hamfisted “naughtiness” + rehearsed snarling = hits) this latest entry follows that formula to the letter. Here she is in the desert, lying next to some unwashed dude, “singing” (which I am not even sure she would have the courage to call it that) about “sex and drugs,” with a brief interlude into RAPPING (which, again, if she can’t sing, she certainly can’t rap) as if this was an Ameritrade commercial or something. And the computer says: bleep bloop bleep THE KIDS LOVE IT. So, if the formula works, why should Ke$ha fix it? She is getting what she wants (fame, fortune, people pretending she is pretty because she has the first two) and it’s not like she was an interesting artist with lots of integrity that she somehow gave up in exchange. She’s 14 years old. This is her integrity.

Besides, if you think about it, this is all our fault.

Woof. The Beatles are rolling in their graves right now. Well, John and George are rolling in their graves. Paul and Ringo are rolling in the Vampire Coffins that keep them “alive.” But seriously folks: woof. This is so bad that I almost want to apologize to Brokencyde for all those things I said about them. At least Brokencyde seem to be TRYING to be the worst. Success! Sorry, Ke$ha, even when it comes to being the worst, you are still subpar.

But again, this is all our fault. Ke$ha is the Jeff Dunham of music. She is the tween Glenn Beck. I’m not saying that she is an overtly racist puppeteer or a pudding-minded-and-pudding-faced-fear-monger. But she is something that people, lots and lots of them, actually WANT. Look, Ke$ha didn’t start her own record label and give herself a recording contract and provide YouTube with the seed money to start Vevo as the Internet’s premiere repository for on-line music videos. She didn’t book herself on Saturday Night Live. She doesn’t even WRITE HER SONGS, much less any of that. At a certain point, all of our complaints add up to almost as much noise as Ke$ha’s music, because the reality is Gotham gets the Ke$ha it deserves, not the Ke$ha it needs. Always.

So let me be the first to say, whatever my role may be in this: I’m sorry. I’m sorry I caused all that Ke$ha.

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Comments (129)
  1. For some reason I don’t find her to be particularly pretty. Not sure why.

  2. Hell, I’d respect her if she’d just clue us in on how to say her name. She should have chosen to spell it in phonetics: ˈkɛʃə

  3. We are all guilty.

  4. She’s just so awkward at moving.

  5. This would be our fault if we weren’t so obviously superior to everyone else.

  6. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the Diddy this morning. Wait a second… Oh no! She’s got me too! ACK!

  7. I just love how Vevo blocks everything from my country.

  8. Everyone calm down. It’s just the kids, you guys. Same as it ever was. All grown people someday come to understand that all children are a vacuum of having taste. Just because there was no Internet in 1985 doesn’t mean people weren’t writing blog posts about NKOTB in their minds.

  9. Ugh…I think we need the Gordon’s Fi$herman:

    • Okay, I wasn’t even gonna dignify this video with any more words, but can I just say I’m in the computer lab at my school watching this video, and a girl sitting near me is blasting “Tik Tok” from her headphones. I think if more than one person is separately listening to Ke$ha in a room, THAT IS TOO MANY PEOPLE!

    • “I like your beard.” — Ke$ha

  10. “I am only what you made me. I am a reflection of you.” – Charle$ Man$on

  11. In our defense, I don’t think we really understood the full repercussions of reading aloud from those fetid and ichor-ridden pages of the Necronomicon that we checked out from the library.

  12. I think the songs would have sold regardless of the garbage monster singing them. If it wasn’t Kesha, Miley Cyrus or some other pop singer would have gotten the songs and sold them.

  13. i just think her boyfriend in this vid should be hotter.

  14. I’m less annoyed about how bad this song is as I am about how the video director co-opted the animation from Yellow Submarine. You know the Boomers are all like “Yeah, the 60′s WERE great – you’re totally right, Ke$ha!”

    • Yeah, and it was such a bootleg attempt too. I think we’re suppose to feel like Ke$ha is trippin’ hard on that love shit, except this video was made by people who never used drugs and think this is what it’s like to be on them. Kind of like how most comic book artists think street gangs are all road warriors.

      • I thought the whole drug metaphor thing AND the Yellow Submarine-style animation was pretty offensive. I tend to get pissed off when people refer to addiction casually, as if it isn’t an actual disease that destroys people and families. “U guyz i m totes addikted to my bf. N vitamin water. im gonna lyke go thru withdrawel.”

        Really? You’re gonna start vomiting and shivering and hallucinating and wishing you were dead because you don’t have something trivial and disposable? I have a better idea, why don’t you just go fuck yourself?

  15. She is the Jay Leno to Jamie Foxx.

  16. Can you OD on love? I sure hope so.

  17. This one time I was stumbling drunk from my apartment at 3:00am looking for something to fuck and I was pushing past the dirty prostitutes that share the sidewalk one block from my place (and, let’s be honest, they are my normal go-to) when I ran into Ke$ha. She offered to do anything I want for $20. I said, “stop, now.” She said, “That is the one thing I will never do, old man.” So I turned around and brought one of the whores back with me. They do not sing.

    • You do Bukowski so well, and I can’t decide if that makes me love you because of your skill at mimicry or hate you because I hate Bukowski. I think I’ll settle on love, because I am a peaceful man. Upvotes for always.

  18. While talking to my sister on the phone last week, I heard Tik Tok in the background. She was at home. Does Sibling Divorce Court exist yet?

  19. Vevo has apparently blocked this in my country, on copyright grounds.

    I’m not a big wordsmith so I assume the definition of copyright is ‘ethical’.

    Maybe its my new prime minister doing all he can to help the nation?

  20. “Your love is my drug. Cocaine is too.” – Ke$ha & Jay Mohr to each other.

  21. kesha not only writes her own songs, she writes other artists songs. true story

    • No, not true. Dr. Luke writes all of Kesha’s songs. She is Dr. Luke’s creation. And when you look at Dr. Luke’s discography, her popularity makes a whole lot more sense.

      This sounds like a comic book, but it’s true.

      • She actually PAYS someone to write this crap? I read somewhere that she wrote her own stuff, so I was going to give her a pass. Either way, ugh. Also, why with that ’90s Body Glove Glo-Paint Burning Man shit?!

      • And all his songs sound the same! I want to be paid thousands of dollars to write horrible music, can I please?

      • I went to his wikipedia page, expecting to be saddened by all the awful songs, but actually I was sad because of how many of those songs I really like. Whoops!

  22. This video makes me want to drown things!

  23. So I have to work a 9 hour shift on my day off, and my feet already hurt from working last night(stay in school, kids, waiting tables isn’t as glamorous as you think), and I’m just generally not in a good mood, and I thought maybe a little Videogum might cheer me up. So I come here and get blamed for Kesha. This does not set a good tone for the day.

  24. The song is fine, just a pop song that any pop singer could/would sing.

    The video started off fine too: in the desert, bearded man, Kesha in clothes that flatter her body, and her hair looks good.

    But then It went so bad so fast.

    • no. sorry, i don’t like fights, but you’re wrong. the song is not fine. excusing it as a pop song that any pop singer would sing does not let it or any of those other songs off the hook.

      the song is fucking terrible. that’s a given here. no hypotheticals. no bad analogies to excuse it. no changing the laws of nature. the song is fucked up.

      • sorry, that was harsh. I really don’t like fights between anonymous random people that are making jokes on a fun website when the people involved could all be anywhere in the world doing anything right now. didn’t mean to be mean.

  25. I was crying tears of sadness, then Gabe ended on a Kids in the Hall reference, and a single tear of joy washed away the sad.

  26. nothing like starting the day with some ke$ha guilt.

  27. I know this is bad for the present, but think about the future. All of the kids bopping along to Tik Tok will one day go to college, listen to The Smiths and The Velvet Underground and The Ramones and decide that they too want to be in a real honest to god legit band. But wait, so many other people are in a band that sounds just like that! So after another round of disillusionment they will try to find a “unique” sound, and in the process fully embrace all those wonderful old pop songs from when they were young and had no critical faculties and things were oh so much better, and suddenly we’ll be getting a wave of ironic Ke$ha style indie bands flooding myspace 7.0 and trying to find a not-so bed-bug ridden warehouse loft in lower Staten Island (the last non-gentrified neighborhood in NYC).

  28. the sad part is that other artists (?) are starting to copy her. have you heard katy perry’s new single? she’s definitely upset about being dethroned as the worst…

    • According to my research (googling Dr. Luke after he was mentioned above) that is because all their songs are written by the same person! I know, my mind is blown too.

  29. Gabe, every time, and I mean every time, you post about Ke$ha; I get “Tik Tok” stuck in my head. I wander around aimlessly all day singing the few lines of the song I know. By the end of the day it is also in my girlfriends head. The anxiety levels go off the chart and we end up screaming at each other for hours on end about all sorts of trivial issues. “You never close the cupboard doors!!!!.” Or, “every single time we watch the notebook you quietly recite all the moving lines from behind your snot stained kleenex.” And then we have insane make up sex. Thanks for saving my relationship Gabe.

  30. Her STEEZE is gonna be affected, you guys. Her steeze.

    Online slang dictionary:

    steeze

    * style, demeanor. from the song Dilemma by Nelly on the Nellyville cd.

    I like your steeze.

    style+ease = steeze

  31. Why is my local homeless hippie with the psychedelic spare change her love interest in this video? How did he get that gig?

  32. You’re [Garbage Monster] in Boots, the one who tricks the [kids]. He hides who he really is and pretends to be someone else forever. So in time [s]he becomes that person, so [her] lie becomes the truth, see? [S]he transcends the mask. Well, don’t you get it? That’s how [s]he finds happiness. That’s pretty [awful], right?

  33. She woke up in the morning feelin’ like P Diddy (again)!

  34. This song is SO much better than her first two singles. Almost infinitely better. And this song is TERRIBLE!

    • Yeah, that’s the funny thing. I turned this on expected to have my eardrums shot out of my head but I was like, “Hey! This song is better than ‘TiK ToK’! And it is such a horrible song, but a tour de force if you are Ke$ha!”
      My hatred for Ke$ha and lowered expectations definitely ended up making this song sound WAY better than it actually is.

  35. Guys, I think it’s spelled “₭€$₤д”.

  36. Guys, I’ll take my share of the blame here, too. As a desert resident, I should have sabotaged this video shoot somehow. Also, I’m glad someone busted out their copy of Mario Paint to do the VISUAL FX!

  37. UGH. There is so much good music right now that I don’t want to have to bother to think about how shitty this girl’s songs are.

    These guys know what I’m talking about.

    • Seriously. I wish I believed in fate because I’d like to think that somewhere out there is our new blue blood, our great white hope. These guys would never fuck us over.

    • The answer to this question asked in 2007 is still “No.”

    • Yeah, I’ll admit here that last night I got into an internet fight at 3AM about Pitchfork’s review of High Violet on my own facebook. If that’s not the most embarrassing sentence on the internet, I have a skewed perception of what’s what. Also, a very long relationship of mine ended a couple days ago, and having High Violet playing at all times has helped with my little cocoon of sadness. I think that Matt Berninger should beat Ke$ha over the head with SORROW.

    • upvotes forever for the national.

      p.s. where is tiredandwired? i always wondered if his/her username was from the national lyrics.

      /creepier than usual, even

  38. i just felt really bad for the elephant. poor guy probably wasn’t even compensated for his appearance in this piece of shit.

  39. Did you guys ever stop and think that maybe we are the aliens?

    • I’m wish Ke$ha had been in Arizona for that video and was asked for her papers. Being cracked out on “love,” she probably would have forgotten them. And then she would have been arrested.

  40. 2 things – First – She is, in fact, a Garbage Monster, as this video proves multifold.
    Second – MKUltraStar, no doubt. The lyrics, the imagery. She’s a low level acolyte at best, but she’s making her handlers plenty of stupid people’s money. She Just Earned her $-sign Back from me. Good Work Ke$ha. At least you never fronted on us about how you are a drug addled garbage monster mind control victim looking for money. You put it out there, in the name.

  41. Can we please stop using the “$” in (I’ll start) KeSha’s name?

  42. “Drugs are my drugs, also.” -KeSha.

  43. I’m just angry that Ke$ha gets to ride around on an elephant while I’m stuck here in my ’95 Ford Taurus.

  44. AUGH MUST SHAVE MY BEARD

  45. Didn’t get a good look at beard guy, are we sure that’s not Daniel Widmore nee Faraday? Is Ke$ha our constant? Is LOST affecting my brain?

  46. I just don’t know why the world needs a discount Uffie. There’s a perfectly good one already!

  47. I don’t know which is worse, Ke$ha or these guys…

    http://www.myspace.com/bloodonthedancefloor

  48. hey, i like your beard – america’s tombstone

  49. Aw, why you gotta film in Joshua Tree? Joshua Tree is such a nice place. I don’t want Kesha getting her slut slime all over the place.

  50. so, first time commenter, and it’s for kesha, contributing to the whole kesha being pop culture thing thats happening, but it seems to me that it is obvious that she knows that her whole schtick is as lame and unoriginal as it is, you can see it on her face, so now to me this is just a giant thought experiment on mob mentality or something, or we are turning into zombies or wall-e people.

  51. She actually needs someone else to write those lyrics? Man, she can’t even suck on her own, she needs an entire team behind her to suck for her. I think she bites beats from a handful of early electro-pop pioneers, Uffie and LO-Fi-Fnk… but the electro scene is very superficial.. pretty much everyone acknowledged she was a cheap Uffie knock-off, but thought it was sufficiently poppy/harmless… now that she’s a “thing” perpetuating American pop-star zeitgeist… she deserves to die.

  52. I watched this video on mute, a lesson I learned the hard way after the very, very bad mistake of watching the “Blah Blah Blah” video with the audio on. I concur with the comments regarding the grossness of the Yellow Submarine imagery. I am much more offended, however, by her ongoing co-opting of “native” imagery (e.g., war paint) to communicate that she is wild and fierce. She is disgusting AND embarrassing.

  53. If I knew this would have happened I would have never bought Tik Tok as an ironic party song for my New Years party. I didn’t know, I just didn’t know. I am so sorry.

  54. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  55. Wow this is just fucking terrible.

  56. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  57. I have never hoped for the downfall of a “musician” as much as I have for Ke$ha. She is a garbage bag full of talentlessness.

  58. Our fault? I think not. Record industry’s fault. You fail to mention that we have long been cultivated for the purposes of consuming this garbage. This process of degeneration was a long one. At this point, pop music is little more than carefully crafted, thinly veiled propaganda made to sell us stupid bullshit (clothes, ring tones, perfume, etc.). It takes at least a certain amount of exposure to actual music to cultivate taste, but the proliferation of “artists” like Ke$ha make that an increasingly difficult task. This is just like the argument that people make about how we want cheap, sensational tabloid news. Tabloid news is good for ignorant people, and we certainly have a lot of those. But tabloid news, like Ke$ha, contributes to that ignorance.

  59. the worst part about kesha for me is as follows: i can envision pop stars like miley cyrus, christina aguilera, etc knowing deep inside they aren’t the best artist ever™. but i watched that interview w/ kesha interviewing kesha here, and was like, wow, she really thinks she is doing something creative and great in this world. it was at that exact moment that kesha raised the bar on totally delusional mega-douchery.

    also, i am 38 years old and writing about kesha vs. miley cyrus on a blog.

    • This post about Ke$ha prompted me to finally sign up for videogum after many weeks of lurking (mostly to read Gabe’s “Lost” recaps).

      I’ve not paid much attention to Ke$ha until now, besides the songs she sang (lip-synced?) on SNL and besides the fact that in high school I had a mad crush on a girl named Kesha. The object of my desires, however, did not spell her name with a dollar sign (and ignored me completely in favor of an enlistee in the US Marine Corps who was 4 years our senior and who treated her terribly. But that’s another story).

      So are the Beatles rolling in their graves/ hydraulic chambers? I wouldn’t be too sure. Maybe John is, but the rest of the lads have shown no compunction about trading in artistic integrity for cold hard cash when it suits them, which is pretty much every few months, when they deliver a new repackaging of the same material we’ve heard before. And all of them except for George were guilty of making some treacly, maudlin music after the break-up.

      I have to admit I don’t hate this song. It’s catchy, it’s got a soaring chorus, and if I were 14 I’d probably love it (I am 38 as well, glassj so you’re in good company). Sure it’s bubble-gummy, but so were Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, Wham! Debarge, and a bunch of other artists that I liked back then. True, she’s not all that pretty, but again, neither were Madonna, Lauper, et al, and neither were Britney, Chistina, and the aforementioned Miley. And if we’re talking about male pop stars, well, some of them were downright *fugly.* (Ric Ocasek anyone?) Yes, she probably doesn’t do much of her writing, but then neither did Elvis.

      Glassjawls point about mega-douchery is well made, but then again, when was the last time any pop. rock, or rap star was feted for their humility? Pop-stars have been proclaiming their own greatness since a certain someone said his band was “more popular than Jesus” (although in his case he was probably right).

  60. “While in Los Angeles, Kesha had the opportunity to sing background vocals for Paris Hilton’s single, ‘Nothing in This World,’ which led to a later incident in which she vomited in Hilton’s closet.”

    So she’s not all bad.

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