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Wait, really? REALLY? We are two episodes away from the series finale of Lost, with time to explain any of the remaining mysteries running out like Dharma donuts in the hatch pantry when Hurley’s put on guard duty, and this is what we get? We are two episodes away from the series finale of Lost, with an entire episode dedicated to the eternal (and awesome) struggle between Jacob and the Man in Black, which could help to explain what the island is, what either of them wants, why any of this is happening, and this is what we get? Sheeeeeeeesh. Hey, Allison Janey, why don’t you bash MY face in with a rock while you’re at it!!!
So, a pregnant woman washes up on shore. In the jungle, she runs into White House Press Secretary C.J. Cregg, who is definitely giving her a normal look the way people just always look at each other:
They speak some Latin or something to each other. It is hard to tell with C.J. Cregg’s thick American accent. Fair enough. Her job is to put a public face on the President’s political agenda, not speak dead languages with native intonations. And, much as the two women quickly and easily transition into English, so too will I quickly and easily transition into not making any more lame C.J. Cregg jokes. The woman gives birth right away, naturally, and it is a boy! She will name him Jacob. But wait! There is more babbys formed in her body! Twin boys! But she only had one name picked out. Jacob and the Baby in Black!
Allison Janey is like, “I’m sorry for bashing your face in with a rock,” and bashes her face in with a rock. Let this be a lesson to all of us: if you are ever pregnant and ship-wrecked on an abandoned island, always have a second name picked out, just in case you’re carrying twins, and always wear your helmet.
Allison Janey is the mom now, dawg. It is hard raising two children as a single mom on a paranormal island in the 1300s! One of them wears black clothes and one of them wears white clothes, which seems like a lot of work for two growing boys who are just going to need all new sets of black and white metaphor costumes every three months. One day, the Baby in Black finds a game on the beach. He asks Jacob if Jacob wants to play, and Jacob is a real pussy about it. Eww, I think I hate Baby Jacob? To be fair, I also hate the Baby in Black. They both need to get haircuts. It is, like, 1532.
The Baby in Black tells Jacob not to tell Allison Janey about the game because she’ll take it away, but he goes back to Home Tree and immediately tells her. What a NARC. She finds Baby in Black on the beach and tells him that Jacob ratted him out, but that it’s OK because she left the game there for him to find, and she tells him that he is special. Wait, WHUUUUUT?! We have always been led to believe that Jacob is the special one! Oh my God, everything is topsy turvy!
Everything is going pretty great on the island, but then one day when Baby Jacob and the Baby in Black are out hunting boars with their spears, they see men. THE OTHERS! And they stole their boars! They run back and tell Allison Janey and she immediately blindfolds them and leads them into the jungle. “Mom, no offense, but you’re being super weird.” She explains that they can never hurt each other. Well, not so much explains as just says. “You can never hurt each other. The end.” Oh OK, FAIR ENOUGH. What? At some point she is also just like, “You guys will never die.” The end? I’m glad we cleared that up! She shows them a magical cave filled with wonderful light.
And explains that the reason they are on the island is to protect the light because all men have light inside of them, but they want more.
The next day, Baby Jacob and the Baby in Black are playing their game, which has rules that the Baby in Black made up (“maybe one day you’ll find a game, Jacob, and you can make up the rules” and that is how Hungry Hungry Hippos was invented) when he sees his dead mom. Baby Jacob can’t see her, though? Baby in Black excuses himself, which is probably really hard to do on a secluded magical island where you live with just your mom and brother. “I’ll be right back…I forgot my…fish…in the…cave.” Ghost Mom leads him to the Others’ camp and explains that she is his real mom and that Allison Janey smashed her face with a rock, and that Baby in Black is actually a human being from across the ocean, and that is where his home is. Oh, Baby in Black is so pissed.
That night, he tries to get Baby Jacob to leave with him, but instead, Baby Jacob tackles him and punches him in the face A BUNCH of times. But I thought Jacob was the good one?! He is always wearing white clothes!!!!!!!! Baby in Black leaves to live with the Man People, and Jacob sits on a log and looks out at the ocean. Allison Janey is like “will you stay with me, Jacob?” and Jacob is like “not only will I stay with you, but I will hold your hand,” and I am like, “gross,” and the island’s Department of Social Services is like, “if only we existed!”
CUT TO: NOW THEY ARE MEN.
The Man in Black has been living with the Others for 30 years now. Jacob still visits him. What is Jacob’s deal? Get a personality, dude. The Man in Black thinks people are jerks, just like mom said, but he does love digging wells. And he has finally found a way off the island…magnets? Something to do with magnets, I think. These guys, obviously, know what the Man in Black is talking about.
That night, Jacob, or as I like to call him, NARCob, tells mommy that the Man in Black is finally leaving the island. So the next day, she goes to visit him in his hole, and he shows her that he has found some of the wonderful light, and he is going to PUT A BIG WHEEL IN THAT LIGHT. What? Allison Janey says goodbye, and then bashes his face into a wall.
Man, Allison Janey really loves crushing heads. There is only one person who loves crushing heads more than her, and he won’t be born for hundreds of years:
Allison Janey takes Jacob back to the magical cave of wonderful light and tells him that he has to be the guardian of the island now, but he doesn’t want to, but he has to, but he doesn’t want to, but he hast to. Ugh, when does Jacob get good? The ’90s? Can we just skip to the ’90s when he gets cool? He thinks that she’s making him do it because he’s all she has left, but she explains that it was always supposed to be him, which she sees now. Hindsight smashy-smashy with this one. Allison Janey makes him drink the wine, and he drinks the wine, and so now he is protecting the island. And then she makes him promise that he will never go down into the magical cave of wonderful light. “What’s down there?” he asks. “Life, death, rebirth,” she says. “It’s the source. The heart of the island.”
“Would I die?” he asks. “It would be worse than dying,” she says. “Much worse.” You know, for someone who is going to die in a couple of minutes, and seems to know it, she sure plays her cards pretty close to her vest. Oh, but so, yeah, she dies. The Man in Black wakes up and his well has been caved in and his head hurts from getting so smashed and the Others’ camp has been burned and he is just like, ARGHHHHHH.
He goes back to the cave and destroys the loom (oh no, not the loom!) and stabs Allison Janey in the back. As she is dying, she thanks him. Wait, why is she thanking him? And why is he able to kill her if he’s not able to kill Jacob and no one can ever die? And why can’t he kill Jacob? And why can’t they ever die? You know what, I’m not worried about it. I have supreme confidence that all of my questions will be answered in the final two episodes of this show. I’m sure that the creators are just pilling a dozen more mysteries on top of the hundreds of remaining mysteries at the very last minute so that it is so fun and exciting when literally everything is explained next week in 44 minutes. (I’m a SARCASM MONSTER.)
It turns out that Jacob haaaaates when his mom is murdered. He tackles the Man in Black again and punches him a bunch again. Then he drags him out in the jungle and throws him into the magical cave of wonderful light, Augustus-Gloop-in-the-chocolate-waterfall-style. He’s stuck in the pipe! Oh wait, no, he’s not stuck anymore. But that’s worse than dying! We were told! In a really torturously uninformative way! Smoke comes pouring out of the magical cave of wonderful light and so now the Man in Black is a smoke monster, whatever THAT means.
Jacob finds his brother’s body in the jungle and lays him out in the cave along with his mother’s body and also a pouch filled with white and black stones. So his brother is dead? The smoke monster is something else entirely, but sometimes takes the shape of his brother’s body? Oh, also, there are flashbacks to Jack and Kate and Lock from the first season finding skeletons in the cave. Those skeletons we know see belonged to Allison Janey and the Man in Black. So what? I feel like this show is nothing but a ragged, sweaty pile of loose ends, but then every once in awhile gets really diligent about wrapping up mysteries no one cares about. “Oh, so that is who the skeletons in the cave in season one I forgot were even there and definitely never cared about in the first place were. Huh!”
So now Jacob guards the island. But he is kind of a jerk? And the Man in Black is dead. But he’s also a smoke monster? Move over Yin Yang Twins, make room for the Yin Yang Twins.
Sometimes I want to beat THIS SHOW up.
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This episode, while largely annoying, did answer who those skeletons were, though. It really did that.
What the fuck was that?! I’m just glad Lapidus wasn’t around to see that atrocity.
At least Lapidus would have had a good zinger if he had thrown someone into the Light-hole (also the fact that “light-hole” is a legitimate term used to describe something in this episode tells you there is something hilariously wrong)
i’ve been referring to the light-hole as “God’s Cloaca”
Clearly, it can only be referred to as the Island’s Glowry-Hole.
even better. a winner is you.
“Craziest light-hole I’ve ever been to”
-Lapidus
haha, spot on
I wish I could take credit for this, but I can’t. Anyway:
What’s in Marcellus’ cave?
The source of all man’s humanity.
On the plus side, we only had to see Kate for like 3 frames this episode. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’d watch 6 more seasons of The LOST Family Robinson if I didn’t have to watch Kate anymore.
Serious question from someone who has watched the first season and a few episodes of the second season: why does everyone hate Kate so much? It isn’t just Videogum monsters, everyone hates her.
Wait until season 3, when the Sawyer/Jack/Kate love triangle gets full attention, then you too will wish she’d been eaten by that bear in episode 2.
kate should die of gonorrhea, and rot in hell. would you like a cookie?
You know when watching Kate is OK in my book, Notsewfast?
It’s like watching Picasso paint “La Guernica” over and over and over and over…
I like Kate. Care to hazard a guess as to why, friend?
Answer key: she’s pretty AND somewhat naughty
No, you like Kate because you like being contrary.
I guess she is naughty if you consider blowing up your stepdad to be naughty?
I couldn’t reply below, just curious though – where did you pull out information that Kate is kinky? I mean, I guess doing it in a bear cage on camera is kinky, but that was more of a situational necessity screw it seemed like – heat of the moment type of bidness. As opposed to “Let’s Plan on Doing it inside the abandoned Dharma Polar Bear Cages” planning-kinky.
You like her because she has a third boob that can pop and expel red dye and corn syrup, just like an amateurishly-placed squib.
“I’d hit that selfish, annoying piece of ass.” — Steve Winwood
She’s not selfish and annoying. She’s feisty and kinky.
did anyone else think the origin of the smoke monster was INCREDIBLY lazy?!?!
cave of light + jacob’s brother = smoke monster
come on! i learned that in 5th grade math.
I feel like we’re going to hear more about what the F that was. We’ll get some better explanation. …We have to, right?
I can’t stop trying to figure out the timeline here. So… there was a hieroglyphic of the smoke monster underneath the temple, right? Which means the smoke was around way before the Baby in Black. I mean, they’re not real clear about dates on the show… but if Jacob and Co. are all speaking Latin and have Iron daggers and stuff, it has to be waaaaay later than ancient Egypt.
Right? Guys?
Well, the island can move through time and space, so I guess that could explain it. Also, I am sorry for offering this explanation.
Or just that the smoke monster was in existence before the invention of paper mache.
the best explanation I’ve heard is that the mother was the smoke monster (how she could kill a village and destroy a well) and was tired of the bullshit so had mib kill her (before she could speak no less) and then mib took over her role when jacob threw em in the hole
Dude, that’s just for mystery’s sake. They just do stuff like that. The same way when the hatch clock went critical it showed egyptian signs. They just like to associate with ancient and mysterious things.
What puzzles me more is why is Blacula convinced people are jerks, since it was his fake jerk mom that taught him that. Wouldn’t he reason that he shouldn’t listen to the teachings of a jerk that killed his mom?
Isn’t being turned into an immortal shape shifting smoke monster a lot BETTER than death?
Two thoughts.
1) doesn’t this seem like the plot to a bad kids movies about a bad kind of Legos? (yes, that’s a bionicle reference)
2) At least they got bieber to play the young man in black.
Biebs has a nightmare of a schedule, so it really was sweet of him to take time out for the superfans!
Bionicle legos were pretty sweet. They were basically just an action figure you assembled yourself. The show didn’t even exist as far as I’m concerned.
This episode was such bullshit. I finally realize that the writers don’t know what the hell they’re talking about, they’re just half-assing the story lines, hoping no one looks too closely at the holes in the stories. This episode didn’t answer anything, just asked more questions. Who was Jacob’s and MIB’s fake mother? Why is MIB able to speak to dead people? Why doesn’t he have a name? Why are there going to be 3 alternate endings? It’s like the writers don’t even know how it should end.
Sorry for ranting, but I think Steve Winwood is right. We’re all suckers.
I’ve felt that way from the beginning which is why I waited till recently to watch the series, but decided early on that it didn’t matter. You can still enjoy it if you choose to.
I kind of think it went downhill after season 4. David Lindelof has already said they will not answer all the questions and that the writers have kind of run out of time. I read somewhere that if it isn’t a question the character on the show would care about, the writers are not going to explain it.
Whos David Lindelof?
He’s Good Friends with Charleston Cruise.
http://ch.linkedin.com/in/lindelof
YOU DON’T HAVE TO ANSWER THAT because Kate wouldn’t care.
I think they gave themselves an out to a lot those questions in the first few minutes of the episode when Allison Janney told Claudia that answering her questions is only going to lead to more questions.
It’s kind of obnoxious, but true. Claudia didn’t need to know any more answers because she was about to get a rock in the face and the audience won’t like being sat down and explained point by point what everything is and why it is that way; we’ll always have another question. The whisper explanation felt really signposted when they did that, for example, and I know I wasn’t a huge fan of how they explained it despite it being something I’ve wondered about for six years.
Anyway, point is Darlton is probably just going to put a rock in our face anyway, so I guess enjoy the ride – only 3.5 hours to go!
“Lost, why do you do this.”
“BECAUSE I MADE UP THE RULES. MAYBE ONE DAY WHEN YOU HAVE A HIT PRIMETIME TELEVISION SHOW YOU CAN WRITE YOUR OWN RULES TOO.”
Dicks.
Oh my GOD. That line was TOTALLY the writers telling us all to fuck off, wasn’t it?!
Also, that’s what Jacob does, right? I mean, that’s what Dead Locke has been saying all along. That Jacob just sort of draws people to the island because it’s some game to him… I loved Hungry Hungry Hippos when I was a kid.
YES. Also, when Jacob first sees the game and is like “what is it” and MIB is like “it’s a game”… maybe that was the explanation? The whole explanation?
1) People seem comically aggravated that the penultimate non-finale episode didn’t answer all the questions. There’s a 2 1/2 hour finale coming. Simmer down.
2) People are shocked – SHOCKED – that the origin story of a magical island seems far-fetched.
3) 80% of the big questions can be answered in 5 minutes of exposition where Ghost of Jacob tells the Candidate what’s what. The rest of the time will be wrapping up the character arcs.
I don’t think my aggravation is quite at the level of “comical”, I think it’s just a smidge above reasonable.
#2 is unfair. The island, for most of the series, was not “magical.” It was weird — polar bears, scientific experiments, a mechanical-sounding “monster”, electromagnetism, etc — but “magic” was distinctly NOT a part of what was going on. Now, there are golden light-holes, immortality wine, and shape-shifters.
I’ve heard this shift elegantly explained by someone who pointed out that we used to be dealing with the island on modern, scientific terms, but now the flashbacks are mostly going back to hundreds of years ago, so more stuff seems “magical” because no one is there to explain it. I disagree. I think the show is deliberately moving from quirky and unusual, where explanations seemed to be just around the corner, to magical and unrealistic, where the explanations themselves are “it’s magic. Get over it.” And that’s sad.
Judging by this video, even Cuse and Lindelof think we’re all suckers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kJdtu2Lt7Q
http://howlostends.com
Jacob and MIB’s fake mother was the OG smoke monster, MIB is NOT able to speak to dead people, that was Mother shifting into the guise of the bashed head lady to put thoughts in MIB’s head as part of a long con she was orchestrating to get MIB to take her place as smoke monster.
Step 1: Kill original mother and raise twins
Step 2: Tell MIB he is “special” and show favoritism towards him, pitting the two brothers against each other (leaving a game on the beach for them to find would also stroke the competitive spirit)
Step 3: Bring kids to “magical” light cave which is really a fucked up pocket of electromagnetic energy that turns you into a smoke monster (Mother knows this because she went in there and that’s what happened) and tell them that one of them is going to take over as “protector” of the cave but THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE (stepping the competition up to the next level)
Step 4: Appear to MIB as the ghost of his actual mother, explain that he doesn’t belong on the island and that this woman he’s been living with has trapped him there and she killed his original mother, putting the desire in him to leave the island, but also creating a hatred in him for the fake mother
Step 5: Tell Jacob that he is the protector of the cave now and that going in there would mean “a fate worse than death”, allowing him to not feel so bad when he ultimately throws his brother in there, because its not like he’s killing him right?
Step 6: While pretending to be affectionate with MIB, knock him unconscious and SMOKE MONSTER THE FUCK OUT on his village of people, also bury his pet project so he can’t get to it, thus thwarting his attempt to leave the island.
Step 7: turn your back and don’t say a word and let the MIB stab you in the back, thus setting the stage for the final step
Step 8: Now that the two boys have been completely pitted against each other, and Jacob knows that throwing him in the cave won’t kill MIB, Jacob will ultimately do exactly that, fulfilling the ultimate goal of this long con, HAVING MIB TAKE OVER AS SMOKE MONSTER from the Mother.
This whole thing about candidates, it isn’t about a replacement for Jacob, its about REPLACING THE SMOKE MONSTER. That’s why we’re seeing this episode so late in the game, we’re finally able to understand what the end game is going to be all about. Jacob being alive was the only thing protecting the castaways, now with him gone MIB is conning his way towards his ultimate goal, one of the castaways ultimately has to KILL HIM and become the new smoke monster. Its the only way he can “go home”, which is to say “die and be rid of this eternal responsibility of being a crappy visual effect.”
I feel like this episode was just the writers and J.J. Abrams trying to prove that Lost is actually thoroughly planned out, and the very first episodes are in fact very connected to the plot as a whole, and they know exactly what they are doing.
“See, see! We weren’t just spewing garbage from our magical light caves we call mouths” – some writers
I still don’t believe it. They need to shape up! I’m super worried (not that worried) that the finale won’t be very fulfilling, and won’t answer everything!
If they knew what they were doing from the beginning, I doubt we would need a TWO AND A HALF HOUR finale.
Also, if they knew what they were doing from the start, Jack probably wouldn’t have dated those skeletons at around 40-50 years of deterioration back in the pilot episode (per other people who told me that so it must be true).
I’m so glad I didn’t waste my time on this hoodoo GARBAGE!
-Steve Winwood and me
Yeah I definitely would have appreciated more actual story rather than too many minutes of season one flashbacks. I thought “Oh cool, they are the Adam and Eve skeletons.” and then they kept showing more and more of that episode. I actually told my TV, “I GET IT. PLEASE STOP.” They framed it like it was the ultimate answer of the episode, when really it was just a mildly interesting plot device from the first season.
thank you. so agreed. i don’t appreciate being spoon-fed stupid shit that anyone who made it past ep 5, season 1 could figure out.
Jacob suxx buttz.
The smoke monster is the essence of the island, not actually the soul/whatever of Man In Black. It just picked his dead body to hang out in because it was dead and stuff.
It’s almost like Weekend at Bernie’s, where Bernie’s body was actually just a vessel for The Essence of Cool Chillness to hang out in, not Bernie’s lame, tortured soul controlling its former owner.
That sufficiently explains the past six years.
Yeah, but if the MIB’s soul isn’t in the smoke monster, then why does the smoke monster have to abide by all the same rules as MIB? Like not being able to kill Jacob? And not being able to leave the island? There would be no need for the John Locke loophole thingie unless MIB’s soul was inhabiting the smoke monster and all the same voodoo rules applied that his crazy-ass adopted mom cast on in him with her ying-yang spells.
Smokie(the Island) could never leave the island as long as there was a protector(mommy) guarding the light source. MIB, pre-cave entering, could have left if he would’ve had a boat and could’ve maneuvered his way around the electromagnetic field surrounding the island. Mommy told them they couldn’t leave because she was lying and needed one of them to take over her duties.
When Locke went through the light source near the Frozen Wheel, he went through the same process as MIB. Locke’s body was then suitable for Smokie(the island essence) to inhabit, or to mock. There was always an MIB skeleton just as there is currently RealLocke’s dead body somewhere on the island. The only reason nothing happened to Ben when he turned the wheel was because he never entered the light. Now Smokie(Island Essence/Flocke) has to kill all the candidates, mainly Jack, so he can get off the island and go spread his evil ways to the rest of the world.
Right? My head hurts now. This show makes me feel like I’m turning Crazy-nese, I really think so…
I like where you are going with this, but I think Smokie only needs a dead body to do his shapeshifting-thingy. I say this b/c Flocke told us that he took on Christian’s (Jack’s Dad) body. So, I don’t think you need to pass through the light for Smokie to become you, just dead.
This was an infuriating episode. There is no reason for Allison Janney to keep all this stuff a secret from her fake sons. Just like there is no reason for every single other thing to be a secret to every single person on the island.
The finale is just going to be a bunch of people on the beach saying, “Man I have never had an idea what the hell I was talking about. I was just bullshitting you.” “Me too!” “Well, that was hilarious. Let’s drink some Dharma beers and squash this thing, why don’t we?”
Since the very beginning, I have claimed that Lost is an ode to the importance of open communication. So much of the drama on this show would be negated if only people were straight-forward and forthcoming!
RIGHT?!?
There would be no question if characters just insisted that everyone finish their sentences and speak plainly.
I think that’s called “bad storytelling”
My friends and I actually have a drinking game based on the frequency of lines like “There’s no time to explain”, “You’re not ready for the answer” and my favorite “I can’t tell you that right now”. It’s extremely dangerous to play.
i think that’s a cool part of the series. all the belief/faith/lies/reason/misleading stuff. that’s why the man in black tells Mother, hey mom, i’m doing all this cause you didn’t tell me anything.
With only 1 episode left until the shocking series finale….ah nevermind.
Well, at least we know that the random kid in the jungle is a Young Ghost Jacob which answeHUZZAWHAAAAAA?????
CJ Cregg was promoted to Chief of Staff, fyi.
Also, were there any lentils and hairy men in this episode?
That’s right, Gabe. Show some respect.
Leave Aubrey Plaza’s fake mom alone…
someone’s been reading her bible!
I just read about how the last episode, with all the deaths and such, was supposed to let everyone know how TRULY EVIL Man in Black is, but with this episode, it’s just like they erased that entirely. Now I just want to play whatever that game is he made up with him and loom him a new tunic.
Seriously! I do not understand what Lost’s definition of “evil” is supposed to be.
Watch out, y’all, these Yin Yang Twins got Twurk to do!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FeZZ9PGyyU
Just out of curiosity David, cuz you’re me breddah and all dis and de tings, but WTF does this have to do w LOST?
Lyrics Courtesy of D-Roc and Kaine, The Ying-Yang Twins.
Let me see you make that pussy fart
good lord make it shake like a salt shaker
to hard get it up to you can’t ugh no moe
see I love when you hoes take it to tha floor
baby bounce biggy bounce ugh it’s on you
shouty you can twurk in your skirt if you want
to see we came to keep it crunk for ya all night
put a dub in tha club show me what I like.
If you analyze the lyrics, you realize that this song is the key for the entire series so far. D-Roc and Kaine represent Jacob and MiB.
Let me see you make that pussy fart
This refers to the Cave of Light – by imploring the listener to “make it fart”, the Twins are taking the position of the Man in Black. He has seen the Cave, he knows its potential, but he doesn’t know how to unlock it. This is why he’s pleading for you to show him how to do it, so he can harness this Light from the Cave
good lord make it shake like a salt shaker
Like the Pearl, and the Incident before, the island shook to its core, and much like a salt shaker, its energy was poured out.
to hard get it up to you can’t ugh no moe
But, the energy is too great to be released in that manner, once you let it out, it’s hard to contain, and it might all get released
see I love when you hoes take it to tha floor
Of course, when Fake Mom killed the village, Man in Black was angry, but Jacob? Jacob didn’t really see a problem with it. In fact, he might have enjoyed it.
baby bounce biggy bounce ugh it’s on you
Since the children were at the core of the Island’s destiny, what could it mean for Aaron and Ji Yeon? Could the fate of the Island be on them?
shouty you can twurk in your skirt if you want
There is deeper symbolism in this line – Fake Mom wore a sarong type skirt, and she definitely did her work while wearing it (killing the village, protecting the island, etc). But looking at the sarong itself, those type of garments come from the Southeastern portion of Asia. Looking further into the methods of sarong production, they are traditionally dyed using a resist-method, thereby making a pattern. Much like her blindfolding of the boys was a metaphorical wax-resist, to keep their minds in a certain pattern, so the dye of their curiosity would not seep into the areas it was not wanted.
to see we came to keep it crunk for ya all night
This is a more direct reference to the smoke monster. He represents darkness, night, evil. In a way then, he is trapped forever in an endless night.
put a dub in tha club show me what I like
Dub represents 20, mainly, $20. One of the Numbers is 23 – when you remove the 20 by placing it away from your person, you’re left with 3. 3 could represent the mother and the two “sons”. Or it could represent Jacob and Man In Black and the Island. In this way, the Ying Yang Twins encourage you to seek out the true meaning of the relationship to the Island.
LOL GOOD VOTING
At this point, any episode where Kate doesn’t die is a complete waste of time for me.
Which means I’m only watching till the end to see if the whole series was a complete waste of time. What a life.
I think Kate is pretty.
We know Winwood. We know.
I was also hoping for some more carnage, hoping that at least 2 of the final characters would also die in this episode. My money was on Kate and Hurley dying. I am sad now.
That episode would have been much better had Betty White played the mom.
“Don’t go into that hole, Jacob.”
“Is that another vagina joke, Mom?”
I liked it. I think i’m more of a sucker for ambiguity and mystery than I ever realized.
Well then, I would like to recommend to you “Lost Highway.” Or perhaps “Mulholland Drive.”
I agree with Topknot and the good Senator. I do not mind not knowing the explaination to something on this show. That is just fine and in fact is better. As Crazy Island Mom says, “Answers just lead to more questions.”
Thanks Senator. I love most of David Lynch’s films, as well as the works of Kobo Abe and Haruki Murakami, both of whom leave many frustrated, but keep me coming back. And Miike Takashi’s ‘Gozu’ is one of my favorite films of all time, and it’s damn ambiguous (in more ways than one).
me too
I agree. It’s just funny to me that a show that’s famous for being frustratingly cryptic and confusing is angering people for being frustratingly cryptic and confusing. Well, I guess it’s not THAT funny…
I wouldn’t mind if they didn’t answer every question and kept things cryptic and confusing. As long as it’s done well. This episode was a joke.
Opinions…how do they work?!?
Remember that part in the beginning of the episode? “Every question you ask will only result in more questions.” I feel like that was written for every nerd that over-analyzes the shit out of this show.
Also, I’m running with the theory that it wasn’t the mom that killed everyone in the village and destroyed the wells. It was the smoke monster. Because smokey can’t kill the protector of the island, only an outsider (in this case MiB) can do it. So MiB goes into a rage thinking that his fake mom did it, he kills her, smokey escapes the island.
maybe Mother was both smoke monster and guardian of the island?
that’s what I’m banking on
love it love it love it.
Juno would’ve been a way better movie if Allison Janney face-rocked Ellen Page after she gave birth.
Michael Cera would’ve been so pissed. You wouldn’t like his angry face.
“I went into the cave of light, and all I got was this stupid smoke monster”
Alright, so who didn’t stand up and shout “FUCKING MAGNETS” during that one scene in last night’s show?
So let me get this straight. All men have light. And all men want MORE light. And the island has lots of light (LOL). And in a rage, Jacob threw his brother into the light. And his brother got SO MUCH LIGHT. And now he is a monster who wants light. And if he gets off the island, he will take ALL THE LIGHT. And Jacob is like, this is my fault, I must prevent him from ever getting more light. And I’m like BOOOOOOOOOOOO.
I am Lots Of Lighting now, thanks to you!
Also:
argh.
i liked it…
What I get from this episode is, since Janney never explained any damn thing to Jacob before getting stabbed, Jacob doesn’t know anything about the island, either. SO MUCH FOR ANSWERS. Unless, of course, the next episode is about the time Jacob was rooting through Janney’s sock drawer and stumbled upon a book made out of leaves with the phrase “SEECRET NAWLIDGE” scrawled on it.
No, no, no. You are forgetting the magical understanding wine. One sip of that and you’ll get everything. I heard JJ Abrams struck a deal with Jeff Dunham’s wine company to sell Lost tie-in wine so when the show ends and we are still left clueless, we can purchase a bottle of special island wine and we will magically understand everything, just like Jacob did in Season 6, Episode 16.
I am so mad at this show right now!
And she came back to life, caught him snooping and bashed his head in with a rock.
I’m such a sucker. After that one season (season 3?) where it was painfully obvious the writers were just making shit up as they went and had no idea what they were doing I should have learned my lesson and stayed away. I have no faith in the writers being able to end this show in any fulfilling or logical way.
EFF YOU, LOST WRITERS!! I want the last 6 years of my life back! I feel like I’m an old lady (I am an old lady) and the Lost writers are Nigerian email scammers and I just gave them all of my retirement money.
Look, I’m entirely confident that the biblical verses carved into Ecko’s priest-stick will play a crucial role in the resolution of the plot.
i propose the title of this show be changed to: the shill.
from the very start, we all knew lost was about selling toyotas, kias and chevys.
lots of viewers hoped there was actually something interesting going on as well.
well, there wasn’t…season five was the warning flare. season six is the titanic.
“there’s enough miracles here to blow your brains!”
This was touching. It was good? Also, it sucked, and I have basically nothing to say. Oh wait, this: I have Stockholm syndrome with this show. I just want it to understand that I’m on its side so it will let me sleep without the handcuffs on.
I am starting to have my doubts about which group are the bigger nerds: the nerds who are largely satisfied with the show or the nerds whose complaints about not getting answers get more strident and shrill with each passing episode.
Any sufficiently advanced nerdrage is indistiguishable from nerdrage.
It’s not really about “answers” so much as it is about “compelling storylines” for me. This writing is fucking LAZY.
It should have been a picture of a vomiting man, from olden tymes.
Is he vomiting in order to put out a brush fire? Talk about minding your carbon footprint!
I’m guessing he ate one of those foot sandwiches.
Alwayes mind oneselfe to holde back thine spouse’s locks whilst purging, lest the red-faced crone do it for you.
Its like when Allison Janey says, “Your questions will only lead to more questions. You need your rest,” or whatever, she was talking to US! The viewer! Yes, Allison Janey, I do need my rest FROM THIS SHOW because of all the circles I’ve been running in.
Also, I thought Gabe would bring up the Allison Janey leg shaving scene, because while it was informative to see how they did that in 1325, or whatever, I still thought it was a little weird.
Also, maybe it’s the pervert in me but when it looked like it was just the 2 boys and Allison Janney on the island all I could think about was how weird and confusing puberty was going to be for them.
Or that Jacob would rather chill with FakeMom for 30 more years rather than go to the other group with Baby In Black, where there are WOMEN, or even MEN who are not his brother (if that be his preference). No, it’s okay, Mom, I’ll just chillax with you for another 30 years and weave some cool new materials.
“weave some cool new materials” !!! That’s great!
“Thanks for showing me your hole, Mom. Things are starting to make sense now.”
it doesn’t help that young mib looks like taxi driver era jodie foster
I hated that the kids are like “What’s dead?”, “What’s a ship?” but have no problem understanding the words “board game”, “loom”, “magic light cave”…etc. Ugh
Also, Jacob’s leather draw string collar? Ok lost.
Yeah I really had a problem with this as well.
Not the collar, the other part.
You had problems with both, didn’t you?
MiB asked what ‘dead’ was.
He was told that he didn’t need to worry.
Yet he understood what it meant to ‘kill a boar’.
Maybe he just FELT the knowledge and magically absorbed an Oxford Dictionary hundreds of years before it was created. I knew he was special!
Thank you, pigs. It’s the little things like this that drive me insane. LOST has never been a good show and the people are finally coming around to my world view at last.
I have never seen an episode of this show, but I must say, after the huge bump my lolK portfolio has gotten with this entry, I eagerly await finding out how Ralph loses the conch.
this show jumped 1,000 hungry sharks after season four.
those 1,000 hungry sharks caught up to and ate the show, then shat it out into the underwater lightshow vortex.
what emerged was season five and six in the future, but in the present, yet in an alternate future-present universe where those who seek understanding are beaten in the head with rocks.
Me: What is the smoke monster?
Writers: Something mysterious and mystical.
Me: Oh, ok. That is a satisfying answer.
Barf.
it’s just lots of midichlorians.
Exactly, and midichlorian answers satisfy exactly one person and that person is George Lucas.
I liked the Force when it was just mysterious and awesome. I’m okay with Lost being vague.
I’m itsahotdog and I approve this message.
Right. I just don’t think that “answers” are the point. I’m drawn to the mysteries of Lost and love them and really like that the thematic elements of the show are really more complex than most television.
It don’t think we need to know where the woman on the island came from. I like that mystery. I don’t think we need to know the actual nature of the cave. Can the supernatural or unknown ever be sufficiently explained on a television show. I am more than fine not knowing what the smoke monster’s name is, especially not that it is pretty clear that he does not have one. I like that. I love the idea of a character who is not just unnamed but has no name. Evocative is better, I think.
I like that Jacob is not just some good, CS Lewis style benevolent deity–nor did they do a switcheroo and make him bad–he is human, fallible, etc. The same with the MIB. I like that the issue here is not good v. evil, but something more difficult–selfishness v. selflessness? Especially when both are presented in ways that show the good and bad elements of both.
I think where Lost errs (aside from bad CGI and some clunky exposition in this season) is trying to play both sides: to explain what people want explained, but to still leave some things mysterious. They should not explain anything, but I recognize that this might be a niche taste.
I have not watched Lost from the beginning. I started before Season 5, watching them all on DVD in a month, so I don’t think I ever had to wait through slumps. It all seem like on narrative to me, so maybe it is a difference in perspective.
but havent the shows creators been saying in interviews that it is about “good v evil”?
isnt the defining weakness of LOST the storytelling deficiency of substantive character motivation?
The REAL problem with Midichlorians
http://io9.com/5478314/the-real-problem-with-midichlorians
+1 for kids in the hall reference
but yeah, this episode was ridiculous
i always wondered why jack and kate didn’t eat that junior mint they found in the bag!! important mysteries are important around here.
I feel like seasons 1-4 were like the Matrix then season 5 was Matrix Reloaded and sadly season 6 will be Matrix Revelations…Too Harsh?
Maybe a LITTLE too harsh. I mean, at least we’ve avoided this guy:
Orrrrrrrr was he in the earth vagina of light?
He was in the earth vagina of light wasn’t he?
he is in the finale.
from the script:
“hello jack, i am the architect and my typewriter is broken. it only writes silly things.”
JACK walks into the room. He sees THE ARCHITECT sitting in a swivel chair. THE ARCHITECT has a sheepish look on his face. JACK is confused as he looks down to see THE ARCHITECT is masturbating.
THE ARCHITECT
Sorry. You’ve caught me a little off guard.
JACK
How long have you been doing this? Weren’t you
supposed to finish the show?
THE ARCHITECT
Yeah…. I gave up in 2007 and have been wingning it.
JACK
Alright. Seeing how I’ve never asked a follow up question,
I don’t see why I should start now.
Jack shrugs.
END TITLES.
LOST VIEWERS
WTF?
ARCHITECT
Hello, Lost viewers. I’ve been waiting for you. You have many questions, and although the process has altered your consciousness you remain irrevocably human, ergo some of my answers you will understand and some of them you will not.
LOST VIEWERS
??
ARCHITECT
Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also the most irrelevant.
LOST VIEWERS
???
THE ARCHITECT
Denial is the most predictable of all human responses.
LOST VIEWERS
?????
THE ARCHITECT
Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation. You are the eventuality of an anomaly, which despite my sincerest efforts I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While it remains a burden assiduously avoided, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you, inexorably, here.
LOST VIEWERS
…
As long as they cast Will Ferrell instead of that uptight douchebag, I’m game.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra5-H9ZBS1U&feature=player_embedded
It is not surprising at all to discover that Jacob was home schooled.
[IMG]http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h135/wyninger/template2.jpg[/IMG]
SOMEONE HELP US!
Yeah, i suck. nevermind.
With all of the images, just right click the image, copy the source url, and just POST THE URL
No Tagging, No Nothing
I would recommend hosting at tinypic.com w your own account so you can save all ur funnies, and also, you can just cipy and paste URLS and tinypic steals em for you. Then you can just copy and paste the FOR LAYOUTS url box they give you and BOOM
Pics
She’s pretty.
Hey Winwood, I’m not entirely sure how you feel about Kate… like I guess what I’m asking is; do you think she’s pretty or..?
First off, I am certainly a Lost apologist. I love it; it is the only television show I watch regularly (aside from Ghost Adventures) and one of my favorites of all time (along with “The (original) Office,” “Arrested Development,” “Twin Peaks” and “Unsolved Mysteries.”)
That said, I too was let down by this episode.
I have a real love of myth and ancient story telling. The Book of Genesis is one of my favorites partially for the sense you get that there are even older stories that we’ve forgotten that it is based on. I love that stuff and I’ve always loved the sense that Jacob and the MIB and the wells and the wheel have been on the island for a VERY LONG TIME.
So I had really high hopes for this episode.
My problems were these: 1. Bad acting. Allison Janney was wrong. Really wrong. Also, the man who plays Jacob, who usually is great, was terrible. And those kids, with their haircuts and their smirks–NO. 2. Glitter cave. An aesthetic mistake. Why not just have a cave. It did not need to hum and glow with fake glowing. Is Edward Cullen in there vamping? I don’t know. Just a mistake of artistic vision. 3. Some really clumsy dialogue. I can get over it, but words have been one of the shows strong suits.
I don’t mind the “Oh, this cave holds the light that is in all men” stuff. Partly because it seems real to mean, meaning: people come up with explanations for things they do not understand in terms that they do. We do not know, and will never know, how she got there and what she knows. That’s fine. This explanation is what she came up with, or was told, and is, as I see it, a simplification of what is real so that it can be understood by people. However, the acting stunk and I had a hard time finding the emotional connection, which should have been great. They UR story—Cain and Able, Romulus and Remus, Jacob and Esau, etc.
I like that, despite ABC’s promos, this show does not reduce down to good v. evil. MIB is not evil, or at least wasn’t pre-smokifying. Jacob is not good, or not by our standards. This is just like myth, where good and evil don’t really break along the lines that we understand them now. Again, in the Old Testament or Greek mythology, the heroes are often awful people. I like that.
I think there was a lot here that could have been really good, but the way it was presented was a real stinker.
It does not spoil my love of Lost, or the fact that I have enjoyed the time that I have spent with the show. I think if anything, this episode served to clear out some of the mythology related questions so the last 3.5 hours could be spent on Jack and Sawyer and Kate, etc.
Bartender, a round of upvotes for my friend here.
Who’s the Mans now, dawg?
Excellent, my sentiments towards why I just cannot hate this show put more eloquently than I ever could.
I love that your favorite shows are Lost, The Office, Arrested Development, Twin Peaks, and Unsolved Mysteries. That, my fellow monsters, is honesty.
AND ANOTHER THING! The writers went out of their way to call us stupid in this episode. Janney’s all “Each of these questions will only lead to more questions.” Yeah, sure, lady, unless you just ANSWER THEM. Being vague is not an answer.
“Hey, Burdette, where are you from?”
“I’m from America.”
“But where in America?”
“The North.”
“Which part of the North?”
“Each of these questions will only lead to more questions! Because I am so, so difficult!”
My only problem with this episode was the lack of an emotional connection. It reminded me of COMMS 100′s curriculum. Namely, the different types of listening, like Empathic Listening, Listening for Comprehension, etc.. With the flashback Alpert episode, I was doing both empathic and comprehension. I was thoroughly invested in Alpert’s story.
With this one, it was just kind of like “oh okay. the wheel concept came from there. what else? okay, so that’s the smoke monster now. hrm. what else?”
But I am not too frustrated by the episode itself. I don’t understand, and have never understood, people’s insistence that the showrunners are just throwing shit out there. They even went through the trouble of straight up showing you “see? this scene from season 1? this is how it makes sense.”
From an analytical point of view, I was like “ehh why do they feel the need to show this? are they going to do that for -every- mystery they explain from now on?” but then emotionally, just seeing those characters from so long ago stirred something inside of me. It brought me back in a really powerful way, to see John with his little hunting vest, Jack and Kate uncomplicated (and sleeveless) and full of wonder like we were. Especially after last week definitively being like “this is the end game. nothing will ever be like it was again.” to see exactly what things “were,” was really beautiful for me. I think that was brilliant, maybe the most powerful move in the whole episode.
xxx
as for people being pissed off about the “asking questions will only lead to more questions,” I had this thought last night. Now, imagine a conversation with someone watching season one after the series is over, and coming to you after the House of the Rising Sun episode.
“okay, it’s killing me, who are those corpses in the cave?”
“sure you want to know?”
“YES, YOU ASSHOLE”
“well, one of them is the corpse of the smoke monster.”
“the what monster?”
“you know what monster?”
“yeah.”
“it’s made of smoke.”
“what? and it used to be a man? how did he become a smoke monster?”
“his brother jacob threw him in the cave for killing their adoptive mother”
“what cave? who is jacob?”
“the protector of the Island”
“what is he protecting it from?”
so on and so forth. it would never stop. that’s frustrating for everybody. you would literally just get bored and tell them “you have to see for yourself/let me show you” and have them watch LOST, because it is far too much to just explain in bulletpoints or discussion. that’s how it is for us, that’s how it is for the characters on the show, that’s how it is for the writers. so I’m not mad at that. in due time. and perhaps, adoptive mother didn’t feel like answering a shitload of questions from a woman she was about to murder in twenty seconds.
*that monster
You said this better than I could. I agree, the emotional element, which is so key to the show, was missing and what was frustrating for me is that it really could have been great.
The nameless kid gimmick was very frustrating… If we end up concluding the season without discovering his name, I will be more irritated than I probably should be. At this point, his name better make the whole series make sense.
They’re clearly just pulling a “Sex and the City” Mr. Big thing here. They’ll wait til the end of the series and then Jacob will nonchalantly say “I finally defeated you, JEFF”, and all our brains will explode.
*spoiler alert* In the final five minutes – we will find an older MIB sitting in a large office at a very fine antique desk looking very satisfied. As the camera pans across and down his monogrammed personalized post-it pad – his name is revealed: “From the Desk of M. Night Shylamalan”
LOST
His name is LUCIFER.
Yeah, I thought it was disappointing that they didn’t give the character a real name, as I really grew fond of him this episode. And I’m especially peeved that the show’s plot summaries, etc. keep referring to him as “Locke”. That’s not Locke! He just looks like him, duh.
“I only thought of one name.”
“Sorry kid. I guess we’ll just call you Smokeface.”
His name is LOST.
Sad news, buddy: The LOST writers have officially stated they’re never going to reveal MIB’s name. WOMP WOMP
http://www.hitfix.com/blogs/whats-alan-watching/posts/exclusive-interview-lost-producers-damon-lindelof-and-carlton-cuse-talk-across-the-sea
I don’t understand this gif reference.
Werttrew? Anyone?
Before Al Gore invented the internet (LOL?) I had to do all my trolling I.R.L. by sneaking out of my parents house late at night and change church signs to spell funny phrases. If I wanted these to enjoy a longer shelf life I would have to not use expletives but have to make phrases that were subtle enough to go uncorrected for a time, but still be weird and deranged. Before *69 was invented, I would do subtle prank phone calls and record them. Then the island created the internet and my smoke monster moved online. Gabe = Jacob and the Videogum monster trolls = the passengers of the crashed plane.
Having said all of that, I have to yield to Gabe’s victory here. He has completely troll-proofed Videogum to the point that I can not troll anything he has to say. Just look at some of these lines from today’s blog post:
“…this is what we get? Sheeeeeeeesh. Hey, Allison Janey, why don’t you bash MY face in with a rock while you’re at it!!!”
“Allison Janey is the mom now, dawg.”
I can’t beat Gabe when he beats me at my own game. LOST has always sucked and while I am somewhat gratified and validated to see people come around to sharing my world view, I am also saddened that my hobby has been taken away from me. You monster trolls and your leader have journeyed through the cave of light and now my smoke monster self is disappearing like … dust in the wind?
^Vote for effort!
I feel like that should have made a lot more sense than it does(?)
Hey “jwormyk”, what part of “I lose, you win” do you not understand? Maybe you should change your name to “Sherlock jwormyk”. Just a friendly suggestion, guy.
you funny
steve winwood, you are my hero. LOST has always sucked.
I want to see some of these church signs.
I really hope it was all a dream or they go the same way Roseanne did with their finale.
Another popular tv show that I hated was the reboot of Battlestar Galacti-cat. While the first season was kind of cool in a Wolfgang Petersen’s Das Boot in space kind of way, that show’s series finale ending… woof. “Hey it’s just jesus and angels and stuff. God’s will.” Ugh. No thanks, bro. Worst ending of a terrible show ever, worse than the Sopranos ending. LOST is no different. Maybe worse.
i agree with you, steve winwood. i think the difference, however, is that battlestar galactica was a sci-fi show explained by angels. lost has always been about smoke monsters, ghosts, time travel, and things that don’t necessarily fall under the purview of conventional science (i.e. fairy light caves).
both battlestar galactica and lost suck for the same reason: awful, unlikable, poorly written characters that seem to act without reason. and then that whole bullshit religious aspect to b.s.g. thumbs down.
I’m really glad I never got suckered into watching this show? Does anybody really like it? All my friends who get together for LOST watching parties usually just end up complaining about it…i’ve never heard anything good. oh well, life goes on…
R.I.P. Lost. 2004-Just Now.
First five seasons: never forget.
I’m confused. Didn’t we all hate this episode?
perhaps we could view this episode as the producers being like, we are so meta! we are going to incorporate both shitty and awesome elements into this episode, just like we do in our characters.
The Island is Pandora’s box, with all the good comes greater evil.
Nedroid’s Lost comics are truly the best.
i haven’t read other replies yet, but Jacobs brother IS dead because he became the smoke monster.
He then utilizes his own body because the smoke monster can use the body of those who are dead, so he might as well use his own dead self, no?
also, he was able to kill Allison Janey(SMOKE MONSTER, which is how she killed that village to death) after demolishing the loom with the same special dagger that Sayid will later try to kill Fake Locke(Man in Black SMOKE MONSTER) with… Man in Black succeeded because he stabbed Allison Janey(SMOKE MONSTER) before she uttered a word!
Nice one about the wordage… I think you got it.
Why is no one talking about using the Doors “This Is The End” for the promo? Really? The Doors? Loose fitting clothes, mystic talk, the Doors… oh my Smoke Monster we are being taken on a ride to hippie town.
A friend who has devotedly followed Lost since season one has declared she will not watch ever again, because of the Doors. I think she is lying, but time will tell.
Sweet Christmas that promo was horrible.
No promo.
This episode was CA-RAP. And I do not mean “the poo”. Bullshit. Garbage. I have now accepted that I will be overwhelmingly disappointed with the series finale. Anyhoo…
Here’s what I have to add to the recap: It’s turtles all the way down, you guys.
but why was it crap?
It was crap because it was unsatisfying. I think Gabe covered all the bases in his recap. We learned nothing of much value, and there’s only 3.5 hours left in the series. How are they going to cover all the bases? They aren’t. Which, crap.
i think the recap wasn’t accurate in that he missed how MiB was able to kill his “mom”.
we learned the origin of Jacob and MiB.
that she was the smoke monster.
we saw how the whole wheel thing came about.
we learned how he became the smoke monster.
we learned that Jacob was kind of a bitch at first.
we learned more about what the island actually is.
we learned more about what pushes MiB.
they tied into the very first episode nicely.
sure, i wish they didn’t save this for so late, but i enjoyed it.
But did you really think all the answers would have to do with magic?
Blacky is thrown down a magic cave so he magically becomes the magical smoke monster.
Both Jacob and Blackattack can’t die because of magic. Why do they protect the island? Because of the magical cave. What’s in the cave? Oh you know, unicorns, love, rainbows.
Why can’t they kill each other? Because MAGIC MAGICY MAGIC MAG!!! OKAY!?!?
Clearly people’s problems are that the answers are disingenuously simplistic and that a child could have thought of them. They explain things as much as if you’d ask a magician how he did that, and he responded “MAGIC!”.
Stefan,
Here are my thoughts on “explaining everything with magic.” I don’t know if you will find any of these acceptable.
1. I don’t think the show has explained anything as magic. We found out in this weeks not-good episode that Jacob and the MIB, who previously came off as God and the Devil, were just regular human people, raised by a nut. Her explaination to them was “the magic of life” but that is because they were living thousands of years ago. I don’t think it would have been realistic for her to explain, “Well, first you have to consider quantum mechanics.”
So yes, we do have things that appear supernatural to us–people living with out aging for centuries, clouds of smoke that kill, islands that move through time–but I think they seem miraculous becuase we are not given an explaination (though Daniel was working on it).
What I do like about this is that it is a very good example of how religion works: information gets passed down from generation to generation, gets misunderstood and changed and warped and not questioned, just accepted and acted upon, sometimes to the good, sometimes to the bad.
2. Any actual attempt at a scientific, non-magic answer would be the same as “it’s magic” because none of this stuff is real or possible. An answer of this type would have to through out some science sounding stuff, but would just be as much BS as any supernatural explanation. If you watched Iron Man 2, you saw that BS science is just as disappointing.
3. In the end I don’t think that the solution to any of these “mysteries” is important to what makes Lost great. What the light is in the cave, or what the nature of the smoke monster is or what the numbers mean are secondary to the real purpose of the show, which is to show the ways that humans come in contact, the ways they trust each other and let each other down, the ways that community thrives and dies, the ways that people are selfish and selfless.
@Mans
That’s great for you mr. boring post borington of boringavatar. You would be interested in how people come to trust each other and blih blah bloopity whoopity, but most people watching a show who’s selling point is mysteries watch so they’d get super cock-teased and then feel the relief of super-cumming when those mysteries are resolved.
Sure none of the stuff is real or possible, but they could have at least worked at better make-believe explanations than just magical unicorn wonder wine supercave.
I’m unsure why you are angry with me for giving your comment a thoughtful response, but you are correct: I am boring.
@ Stefan Stiokic:
It would be more like if you asked a magician how he did the trick, and he just showed you his balls. I’m sure the magician would savor that moment, but the audience, not so much. I agree with you that these “answers” are hardly well thought out.
@ thatdorkpaul
We did NOT learn the origin of Jacob and MiB, we merely saw their mother wash up on the beach, no indication of time or from whence she came. Whence? And instead of an answer about the boys, we get more Questions about their surrogate mother. More annoying questions that will never be answered.
WHO was the smoke monster? Maybe there was no smoke monster until MiB got pushed into the Magical Unicorn Cave.
The Wheel? What? The wheel we saw earlier when Ben moves the island (was it Ben?) has nothing to do with that other wheel laying around, that MiB is going to use to open up the wall? What the fuck?
What is the island, actually?
What pushes MiB?
And why would Jacob entwine the fingers of his brother with the woman who killed his real mother? You can call that “tying into the first episode” but I think the original intent was that the skeletons were to be a romantic couple, and this is how the Lost writers ended up “solving” that particular conundrum. They bottled it.
How come Executive Producer Bryan Burk isn’t getting any flak?
Damn you, Bryan Burk. You did a shoddy job executive producing the past 6 years of my life, and I want answers.
What do the overhead expenses mean, and where is the catering budget listed!??!?! WILL WE EVER FIND OUT THE ANSWERS TO THESE QUESTIONS?!?!!
WIN
I don’t think the answers were bad, just the way they’ve been handled this season has been sloppy. Some answers from last season were given in a slightly better and more intellegent way. Basically they should have never killed off Daniel Faraday, he was good at explaining the impossible in a way that didn’t infuriate people.
My first reaction, before reading what will surely be a plethora of amusing comments, is deep, unrelenting shame at having been a fan of this show.
To everyone over the past 5 years that heard me say good things about Lost, I apologize. I wish the writers of Lost actually cared about either their fans or the show they began so wonderfully, but which has descended into ridiculous parody.
Damn you, Lost!
RAD! Your punishment is living on an internet where I was right all along in my LOST hatred. You’re welcome, bro.
You want to go lift some weights with me, bro? You can spot me first…
i like how there was a ‘kids in the hall’ reference in this recap
ditto.
Wait. What is this show even ABOUT?
ya know, just stuff in general.
Life. Death. Rebirth. Everything.
Hawaiian tourism.
I am henceforth calling myself Metaphor Costumes because that is amazing. You don’t know me Gabe, but many thanks are in order, for you have given me a name. Huzzah! May your Light-Hole shine on for all eternity!
The scene from earlier this season where Jacob gives the wine bottle to the man in black was great already; Now we see it was just Jacob being the biggest tool EVER. “Here, have some eternal life elixir.. Oh wait, I forgot that I killed you.” No wonder man-in-black smashed it on a rock. (Hmmm… like a rock once smashed HIM!)
Otherwise, turrible. Simply turrible. You would think that the writers would be embarrassed by all of their little dramatic equivalents of premature ejaculation. Ya’lls are candidates…. candidates for script surgery. (see where I went with that?) Please, please, please, tell me that you were just granting some Make-a-Wish child’s dream to write an episode. Because I’m okay with terminal kids ending all rising conflict with senseless violence and glowy caves. I really am…
A wizard did it.
you forgot to put the jpeg of the barfing guy after the Whisper Song, Gabe.
Is it just me, or did this episode kind of feel a bit like a longer episode of “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” MIB has mommy/fake mommy issues, “just wants to go home” (waaaah in his best Snookie voice), stomps his feet, and throws his crazy dagger around. Then, because of his anger (and his twisted relationship w/ his brother), he’s transformed into a dark and mystical thing capable of taking over dead bodies and destroying villages.
I expect the finale will end with everyone sitting around in the woods and complimenting Locke on his ghost story telling abilities (though maybe it could be a bit shorter next time, and the skeleton tie-in seemed a bit far-fetched). Then someone will sound a blowhorn in the background, Kate will shit her pants, and everyone will run off, leaving Hurley to put out the campfire.
Also, thanks for the “Even the blankets!” and the KITH reference. That made me having to put up with this shit episode somewhat worth it.
When will people realize that it’s much easier making up stupid mysteries than weaving them together in the end in a sensible collage, and so every show that bases itself around a bunch of mysteries will likely not have a payout, payoff, paycheck, payback? peyote? yeah peyote would work.
People realize that, even the writers of shows like Lost. Which means, when said writers set up such a complicated web of mysteries, throwing obscure mythological/philosophical references in all over the place, they are setting the bar for themselves. If they could have lived up to what they set up, Lost would be one of the better shows of the past several decades. It’s their fault they put up a bar they can’t possibly clear, not ours, and unless the next three hours of this show are absolutely mind-blowing we’re very much within our rights to be disappointed in their failure.
There are very few shows that manage to do it right (hell, very few books and movies, too), and a ton of crap out there that fails. Lost looks more likely to join the second, less-exclusive group. So much for their own hype machine.
Legitimate question:
What was the deal with all that ‘you can never leave the island’ nonsense re: pre smoke monster MIB? Jacob leaves like all the time. Did I miss this explanation or can this be chalked up as another gaping plot hole.
best title of a blog post in the history of titles of blog posts EVERRR
I don’t know if anyone has discussed this (yes, I’ve been reading) but, over the past couple seasons, has anyone noticed how EASY it is to travel between the Island’s landmarks/hotspots/deathtraps? Like, those first couple seasons, they had to hike across the Island and camp out overnight just to get from the beach to . . . just about anywhere. And, now, it’s, “We’re going to the Black Rock for more dynamite,” and–no matter WHERE that conversation occurs–it’s a 10-minute walk.
I think they’ve just been flashforwarding for time’s sake. They’ve already shown whatever original perils/things they must do to get to certain destinations, so now when they say they’re going there, they just shoot the next scene with the mindset of “this is x hours after they started hiking.”
I personally don’t mind it. I remember a LOT of the second half of season 3 and much of season 4 was waiting for one group to get where they needed to be so that a second group could then do something else.
Because Jacob is good. MIB and Allison Janney (who was the smoke monster before she got stabbed) are evil. They’re like a Pandora’s Box that can’t be opened or unleashed on the world.
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That second picture of the man throwing up makes my day. It looks like the vomit is coming out of the top of his mouth LOLZ.
(Maybe I should comment on the actual story…..NOT)
I know I am late here, but word up.
damn formatting errors!
Psycho-mom’s last line was supposed [looks for rock to bash head in with]