Helen Mirren received the highest honor there is this week when Madame Tussauds in England unveiled a wax sculpture of her. She probably went to her mother’s grave that night and told her that she could rest finally, knowing that her daughter had made it at last. And look at Mr. Mirren! He’s having some fun! He’s kissing the wax sculpture because he thinks it is his wife! Haha, hey buddy, your wife is standing behind you and she is so mad! “Kissing you is not that much different, you old wax face!” They have fun. Marriage is all about compromise.

Caption this photo. Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. Now that is an honor that will not MELT IN THE SUN!

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Comments (145)
  1. That wax sculpture is pretty.

  2. “‘She is very pretty.’ – Steve Winwood”

  3. “wax helen has no idea where you like me to put this finger!”

  4. “Come on love, this three-way isn’t going to start itself” – Mr. Mirren

    Eww, gross! Oh well, already pressed submit!

  5. In retrospect, Pumpkin Spice was a poor choice of scents.

  6. “you could stop at just one!”
    -helen mirren, sarasota acting school graduate.

  7. Does she come in Christmas-scented?

    (because she’s wax, like a candle, see…)

  8. ” Why did they have to sculpt me angrily wagging my finger?”

  9. Helen Mirren seen here in her two forms. Atypically hot grandma and typically disapproving finger-wagging grandma.

  10. Once interest in Helen Mirren has waned, Madame Tussauds plans to leave the statue in the sun to make a Joan Plowright.

  11. My Husband Mistook My Wax Sculpture For Me! – Helen Mirren guest stars on a very stupid special episode of Jerry Seinfeld’s The Marriage Ref.

  12. 20 years form now, Gwenyth Paltrow will cite this sculpture as her greatest inspiration when accepting her second Academy Award.

  13. “Click here to join the facebook group to get Helen Mirren’s wax replica to host Saturday Night Live!”

  14. that doesnt look anything like me

  15. Confucius say: “Wax on, wax off!” Karate chop!

  16. Ha ha you meant to kiss your “real wife” ha ha ha, idiot.

  17. “would you fuck me? I’d fuck me.”
    - Helen Mirren

  18. What you didn’t see is Helen Mirren chatting up Wax Sean Connery. THAT was embarrassing.

  19. The Queen (Bee)

    Get it? Cuz of the bees, and the wax, and the bee’s wax, and the bees…
    Get it? You get it? No one gets it.
    Well fuck.

  20. Old people are grody to the max, am I right, guys? Plus: some wax puns.

  21. “More like Madame Two-Bods! HUZZAH! And I’m at the centre!”

  22. Anyone else the caption contest this week kinda sucks?
    In Vince Scully voice, “and heeere come the downvotes!”

  23. “If anything, it’s MORE lifelike.”

  24. Is it wrong to ask your wife to have a threesome if the third person is a wax statue of your wife?

  25. Wow, these downvote trolls are really busy not having girlfriends today.

  26. In Transformers 3, Michael Bay opted to save money on special effects costs and just have Waximus Prime kiss Waxatron while Waxscream disapproves menacingly in the background. Plus, hilarious racism.

  27. An injunction has been file against Madame Tussauds to prevent the museum from using a likeness of Nick Madson without his written consent.

  28. (Grand)Parent Trap

  29. Pictured from left: wax Helen Mirren, Helen Mirren’s husband, and friend.

  30. We may be thirty years older, but we still have RULES here in the Black Lodge, Agent Cooper.

  31. “You’re Invited to Mary-Kate & Ashley’s Old Party”

  32. What makes it even more awkward is that he thought he was kissing the slutty Meryl Streep wax statue.

  33. “I won’t be cleaning out THAT waxy build up!”

  34. “My lips are really chapped.”

  35. The remake of Tourist Trap just wasn’t as good without 70s era Tanya Roberts

  36. Wax on, Wax off

  37. “…Her?!”

  38. “MWUAH. MWUAH. I can’t tell a difference!”

  39. “This is my Fucking Double/Body Heat”

  40. American director Taylor Hackford kisses a wax sculpture of his wife actress Helen Mirren as the real Helen Mirren looks on, feigning anger in a frumpy blouse.

  41. Coming this fall: Watch new SHOWTIME comedy “Good Cougar / Bad Cougar” starring identical twins Helen and Samantha Mirren and Academy Award® winner Helen’s real-life husband Taylor Hackford! Mind the gap: Double the GILFs means double-trouble! TV-MA*

    *V – violence
    ES – extreme sexual situations
    L – foul language
    FV – fantasy violence

  42. If Helen Mirren hadn’t been on Oceanic Flight 815, she would have been a chiropractor in Los Angeles with a sexy secret.*

    * The secret is that she’s made of wax. Sexiness of secret may not be valid outside of Japan.

  43. mydaughter'sname69  |   Posted on May 11th, 2010 +17

    The inevitable end result:

  44. She’s made of wax, dummy

  45. It’s ok husband guy, I don’t know who Helen Mirren is either.

  46. Mirren’s Choice

  47. Upon being shown the picture Alfred Hitchcock noted “I couldn’t have framed it better myself.”

  48. This orgy looks promising, but unfulfilling.
    Until…

  49. I like how all the comments on this thread have arguments with Steve Winwood under them.

  50. What’s up with this? Tell the truth, who you with? How would you like it if I came over with my clique? Don’t try to change it now, sayin’ you gotta bounce when two seconds ago, you said you just got in the house. It’s hard to believe that you are at home, by yourself when I just heard the voice – heard the voice of someone else. Just this question: Why do you feel you gotta lie? Gettin’ caught up in your game when you can not say my name.

  51. “I don’t always fake kiss my wife’s wax replica, but when I do it’s at Madame Tussauds.”

    - Mr. Mirren, The Most Interesting Man in the World

  52. It’s like looking in a Mirren.

  53. Not enough Betty White.

  54. ‘When you run out of earwax, find some more!’

  55. “You know what they say: Once you go wax, you never go backs.”

    • C’mon, people. Bubblicious has set the lulzmobile in motion; it’s our job to steer this bitch toward up-vote city (what?).

      • Not sure why I got down-voted, but just to clarify: “bitch” is in reference to “the lulzmobile,” not bubblicious. I assumed it was understood that people with Lil’ in their name use bitch as an all-encompassing noun.

  56. I told you National Treasure 2 would put me over the top!

  57. “Never forget, I’ve been in movies with both Brendan Fraser AND Nicolas Cage. I deserved this.”

  58. Mr. Mirren made quite the scene when he tried to escort his wax “wife” out of the building claiming, “This version won’t wag her finger at me. She won’t melt in the sun either…or at least not as much as she does now.”
    -E! News (Cause that’s the ONLY news I can trust)

  59. “Honey, please! Don’t lose your head. LOST won’t be That bad ever again, sweetums. Never, ever again.”

  60. It is tragic that Mr. Mirren’s Alzheimer’s had to reveal itself in such a public setting.

  61. When Mr. Mirren leaned in and kissed the wax figure, he stiffened up and turned to wax on the spot. Madame Tussaud had finally gotten her revenge on that man-stealing hussy.

  62. Helen Mirren: These curtains are an unacceptable shade of blue!

    Mr Mirren (to Wax Mirren): I just saw an empty grocery bag and it was all windy and it was like it was dancing with me and I was like God or some shit. You get me. Feel me, baby. You’re realer than real.

    Wax Mirren: … (interior monologue: I’m a sad clown.)

  63. “Keep waiting…the benny hill theme song will start any second…”

  64. “The following week, Helen Mirren surprisingly gave birth to a half-wax baby.” This couple has trouble written all over them…

  65. Candle fetish gets confusing.

    • wha…How does a candle fetish work exactly? maybe i’m a gross pervert loser, but my mind is going to all sort of strange places. Is it just an olfactory thing? is there…insertion? …on second thought, it’s fine. I don’t need to know. what you do in the privacy of your home with your consenting, adult wax figure is your business. good day.

  66. Pictured (from Left to Right): Nick Madson, Taylor Hackford and Dame Helen Mirren.

  67. “I call it ‘the raisen sandwich’.”

  68. More like Taylor WACKford, am I right folks?

  69. “I will allow myself to wax nostalgic, in spite of the cameras” Mr. Mirren thought to himself, impressed and emboldened by his silent wit. “For beauty like a waxen candle flickers, and as it wanes, it pours.”

  70. Two Helens agree: Old men should get their eyes checked regularly.

  71. Coming This Fall To BBC4:
    “Too Many Mirrens!”

    When down on his luck stuntman Taylor Hackford (film director Taylor Hackford) encounters a magical wizened hobo (Sir Ian McKellen) he is given one very special gift…a wish. After much soul searching Hackford (Hackford) asks for the ability to turn any woman he kisses into his childhood crush, film and stage actress Helen Mirren (TV’s Helen Mirren). Watch as both hijinks and shenanigans ensue in this uproarious new comedy that critics are calling both “uproarious” and “new”. Coming soon to BBC4.

  72. “…ahnahl nathrach uthvas bethud dochiel dienveigh…”
    thus morgana spake the charm of making unto its horrifying conclusion.

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