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Helen Mirren received the highest honor there is this week when Madame Tussauds in England unveiled a wax sculpture of her. She probably went to her mother’s grave that night and told her that she could rest finally, knowing that her daughter had made it at last. And look at Mr. Mirren! He’s having some fun! He’s kissing the wax sculpture because he thinks it is his wife! Haha, hey buddy, your wife is standing behind you and she is so mad! “Kissing you is not that much different, you old wax face!” They have fun. Marriage is all about compromise.
Caption this photo. Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. Now that is an honor that will not MELT IN THE SUN!
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That wax sculpture is pretty.
Nuh uh
fake
“‘She is very pretty.’ – Steve Winwood”
NO SHE’S NOT! Plus you are now a plagiarist commentator. See above. Sleep tight.
This. Is. The Best.
“wax helen has no idea where you like me to put this finger!”
“Come on love, this three-way isn’t going to start itself” – Mr. Mirren
Eww, gross! Oh well, already pressed submit!
In retrospect, Pumpkin Spice was a poor choice of scents.
DAMMIT.
“you could stop at just one!”
-helen mirren, sarasota acting school graduate.
sarantos, goddamnit.
Don’t apologize. I like it better that way.
Does she come in Christmas-scented?
(because she’s wax, like a candle, see…)
” Why did they have to sculpt me angrily wagging my finger?”
Helen Mirren seen here in her two forms. Atypically hot grandma and typically disapproving finger-wagging grandma.
Once interest in Helen Mirren has waned, Madame Tussauds plans to leave the statue in the sun to make a Joan Plowright.
This is the best.
My Husband Mistook My Wax Sculpture For Me! – Helen Mirren guest stars on a very stupid special episode of Jerry Seinfeld’s The Marriage Ref.
20 years form now, Gwenyth Paltrow will cite this sculpture as her greatest inspiration when accepting her second Academy Award.
HA ha you meant to write “20 years FROM now” ha ha ha, idiot
“Fuckin’ punctuation, how does that work?”
-Steve Winwood
Raging, flailing, Popov blackout.
I thought I taught you to use periods at the end of sentences, boy.
LOLZ . You know Steve Winwood is good at what he does when HIS TROLLS HAVE TROLLS.
20 years from now, Gwenyth Paltrow’s wax head will be grafted onto this body and unveiled in the Madame Tussaud’s in New Chicago.
“Click here to join the facebook group to get Helen Mirren’s wax replica to host Saturday Night Live!”
that doesnt look anything like me
Confucius say: “Wax on, wax off!” Karate chop!
Ha ha you meant to kiss your “real wife” ha ha ha, idiot.
“would you fuck me? I’d fuck me.”
- Helen Mirren
Rad. Although you are stealing my commentator meme. Maybe that is why it is rad.
I’m really glad you’re bombarding this post with your really insightful comments, Steve!
There were already THREE comments that replicated my own material so it looks like even if I wasn’t here, I would still be here, in spirit. I’m sorry if that upsets you… NOT! Psyche.
Does the “psyche” cancel out the not “Not!” thus indicating that you are sorry if that upsets you?
You are the worst, Steve.
I love you, Steve, but I’m fairly certain you did not write Silence of the Lambs. Stay great.
VideoGumb.
every time i see a comment of yours, a single tear comes down my face in memory of da cake eatur.
That’s Dame Helen Mirren.
From Silence of the Lambs right? I love saying this, even though/because of it freaks out my friends. haha
Me too!
What you didn’t see is Helen Mirren chatting up Wax Sean Connery. THAT was embarrassing.
The Queen (Bee)
Get it? Cuz of the bees, and the wax, and the bee’s wax, and the bees…
Get it? You get it? No one gets it.
Well fuck.
Old people are grody to the max, am I right, guys? Plus: some wax puns.
IF YOU DONT LIKE IT HERE YOU CAN LEAVE
What are you talking about? I love it here
Well then… enjoy your stay.
Thanks, friend
“More like Madame Two-Bods! HUZZAH! And I’m at the centre!”
Anyone else the caption contest this week kinda sucks?
In Vince Scully voice, “and heeere come the downvotes!”
“If anything, it’s MORE lifelike.”
Is it wrong to ask your wife to have a threesome if the third person is a wax statue of your wife?
Wow, these downvote trolls are really busy not having girlfriends today.
“I could get a girlfriend if I wanted to!”- Steve Winwood.
Actually, I can’t.
Never would have guessed.
Oh, oooh ow you so “zinged” me there guy
No, I’m being serious. You seem like you’d be so charming, thoughtful and full of surprises. I thought the lady animatronic nightmares would be all “you’re pretty” and then ask for more pictures of you.
You have facial hair suggesting a perpetual state of cunnilingus and an off switch. I’m not sure what’s going wrong for you in this department.
Is it because you’re not allowed within 100 feet from schools?
Do use match.com Steve? I’m sure there are plenty of ladies out there who would find you charming.
Well, then there’s always the wax version of Helen Mirren……
In Transformers 3, Michael Bay opted to save money on special effects costs and just have Waximus Prime kiss Waxatron while Waxscream disapproves menacingly in the background. Plus, hilarious racism.
An injunction has been file against Madame Tussauds to prevent the museum from using a likeness of Nick Madson without his written consent.
Notsewfast, if you ever need a letter of recommendation, just let me know. You’re the best.
“I can show you several Twitters of recommendation” – Notsewfast, at next interview
(Grand)Parent Trap
Pictured from left: wax Helen Mirren, Helen Mirren’s husband, and friend.
We may be thirty years older, but we still have RULES here in the Black Lodge, Agent Cooper.
Insert Log Lady pun?
Love your avatar. I should have known there’d be some Achewood fans up in here!
“You’re Invited to Mary-Kate & Ashley’s Old Party”
What makes it even more awkward is that he thought he was kissing the slutty Meryl Streep wax statue.
“I won’t be cleaning out THAT waxy build up!”
That quote can be attributed to anyone in this photo.
“My lips are really chapped.”
I hope you win, topknot. This one is the best comment.
Agreed.
The remake of Tourist Trap just wasn’t as good without 70s era Tanya Roberts
I’ll take it from here, Steve.
“No! NO! Get away from her, Taylor! Wax. Waaaax.”
There was no one named “Taylor” in David Schmoeller’s Tourist Trap.
Wax on, Wax off
HEY! You’re stealing my comment!
“…Her?!”
“MWUAH. MWUAH. I can’t tell a difference!”
“This is my Fucking Double/Body Heat”
American director Taylor Hackford kisses a wax sculpture of his wife actress Helen Mirren as the real Helen Mirren looks on, feigning anger in a frumpy blouse.
Coming this fall: Watch new SHOWTIME comedy “Good Cougar / Bad Cougar” starring identical twins Helen and Samantha Mirren and Academy Award® winner Helen’s real-life husband Taylor Hackford! Mind the gap: Double the GILFs means double-trouble! TV-MA*
*V – violence
ES – extreme sexual situations
L – foul language
FV – fantasy violence
If Helen Mirren hadn’t been on Oceanic Flight 815, she would have been a chiropractor in Los Angeles with a sexy secret.*
* The secret is that she’s made of wax. Sexiness of secret may not be valid outside of Japan.
The inevitable end result:
She’s made of wax, dummy
It’s ok husband guy, I don’t know who Helen Mirren is either.
- Andy Rooney
Mirren’s Choice
Upon being shown the picture Alfred Hitchcock noted “I couldn’t have framed it better myself.”
This orgy looks promising, but unfulfilling.
Until…
FAIL
Nobody wants an orgy with a body pillow of Rpattz, an Old Man, Helen Mirren, and a Wax Figurine of Helen Mirren? Pshh, fine, I’m taking my body pillow and wax woman to go, thanks!
I like how all the comments on this thread have arguments with Steve Winwood under them.
I know. I’m not sure what to say. I mean, I love this place and everything, but nobody seems to like me, so maybe I should take the hint and go away?
YES! I’m saying this without a hint of sarcasm, that you should leave.
PSSSSYYYYYYYYYCHE! I was just kiddin’!
… Of course you were.
Well then, I TAKE IT BACK
Though I’m pretty sure you just said that because you got a negative comment before a positive one.
Aww, TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN. Notice that I said I LIKE. You are hit and miss with me, sometimes you are funny but sometimes you seem trollish. But it’s all in good fun, I do enjoy trolling you back, so I stay stick around. Also, I admire your persistence. I wouldn’t be able to handle so many downvotes. You are a strong, yet heartless robot.
I would like to formally retract this statement.
Too bad, friend.
How about you compile a list of all the commentators you like, all the commentators you dislike, rate them on a scale of 1 to 10, and then print this out and take a big poop on it?
Sorry S-Dub you were great for a while, but I think we all know its over. Maybe, take a few weeks off and come up with some new material. Watch some 80s Scott Baio movies and relax; get your energy back. Maybe buy a puppy and point out flaws in its character. Go to Showbiz and hang out with your family. Peep The giraffe.
No.
Please Urkl… I mean Winwood. Please?
Don’t do it, Stephen. As you once sang, “You just roll with it, baby.”
There’s only room for one. The true Steve shall reign eternal!
What’s up with this? Tell the truth, who you with? How would you like it if I came over with my clique? Don’t try to change it now, sayin’ you gotta bounce when two seconds ago, you said you just got in the house. It’s hard to believe that you are at home, by yourself when I just heard the voice – heard the voice of someone else. Just this question: Why do you feel you gotta lie? Gettin’ caught up in your game when you can not say my name.
“I don’t always fake kiss my wife’s wax replica, but when I do it’s at Madame Tussauds.”
- Mr. Mirren, The Most Interesting Man in the World
It’s like looking in a Mirren.
This has so much win you’d think your name was Winwood.
Ha! Classic Lemonne.
Not enough Betty White.
‘When you run out of earwax, find some more!’
“You know what they say: Once you go wax, you never go backs.”
C’mon, people. Bubblicious has set the lulzmobile in motion; it’s our job to steer this bitch toward up-vote city (what?).
Not sure why I got down-voted, but just to clarify: “bitch” is in reference to “the lulzmobile,” not bubblicious. I assumed it was understood that people with Lil’ in their name use bitch as an all-encompassing noun.
I told you National Treasure 2 would put me over the top!
“Never forget, I’ve been in movies with both Brendan Fraser AND Nicolas Cage. I deserved this.”
Mr. Mirren made quite the scene when he tried to escort his wax “wife” out of the building claiming, “This version won’t wag her finger at me. She won’t melt in the sun either…or at least not as much as she does now.”
-E! News (Cause that’s the ONLY news I can trust)
“Honey, please! Don’t lose your head. LOST won’t be That bad ever again, sweetums. Never, ever again.”
It is tragic that Mr. Mirren’s Alzheimer’s had to reveal itself in such a public setting.
When Mr. Mirren leaned in and kissed the wax figure, he stiffened up and turned to wax on the spot. Madame Tussaud had finally gotten her revenge on that man-stealing hussy.
Helen Mirren: These curtains are an unacceptable shade of blue!
Mr Mirren (to Wax Mirren): I just saw an empty grocery bag and it was all windy and it was like it was dancing with me and I was like God or some shit. You get me. Feel me, baby. You’re realer than real.
Wax Mirren: … (interior monologue: I’m a sad clown.)
“Keep waiting…the benny hill theme song will start any second…”
I think you mean Yakety Sax.
“The following week, Helen Mirren surprisingly gave birth to a half-wax baby.” This couple has trouble written all over them…
Candle fetish gets confusing.
wha…How does a candle fetish work exactly? maybe i’m a gross pervert loser, but my mind is going to all sort of strange places. Is it just an olfactory thing? is there…insertion? …on second thought, it’s fine. I don’t need to know. what you do in the privacy of your home with your consenting, adult wax figure is your business. good day.
Pictured (from Left to Right): Nick Madson, Taylor Hackford and Dame Helen Mirren.
“I call it ‘the raisen sandwich’.”
More like Taylor WACKford, am I right folks?
“I will allow myself to wax nostalgic, in spite of the cameras” Mr. Mirren thought to himself, impressed and emboldened by his silent wit. “For beauty like a waxen candle flickers, and as it wanes, it pours.”
Two Helens agree: Old men should get their eyes checked regularly.
Coming This Fall To BBC4:
“Too Many Mirrens!”
When down on his luck stuntman Taylor Hackford (film director Taylor Hackford) encounters a magical wizened hobo (Sir Ian McKellen) he is given one very special gift…a wish. After much soul searching Hackford (Hackford) asks for the ability to turn any woman he kisses into his childhood crush, film and stage actress Helen Mirren (TV’s Helen Mirren). Watch as both hijinks and shenanigans ensue in this uproarious new comedy that critics are calling both “uproarious” and “new”. Coming soon to BBC4.
“…ahnahl nathrach uthvas bethud dochiel dienveigh…”
thus morgana spake the charm of making unto its horrifying conclusion.