There’s a trailer for Robert Rodriguez’s fake-but-now-real-but-still-kind-of-fake movie Machete out today. Personally, I prefer when people make good movies by trying to make good movies (and bad movies by trying to make good movies), but it does have Lapidus in it. Hi, Lapidus!

Comments (113)
  1. This seems to have every major star except Topher Grace. I wonder what he was up to.

  2. “[Machete] is a spin-off film of the Spy Kids films. It will feature Juni and Carmen’s uncle, Machete (Danny Trejo), who is hired as an assassin. It is a more adult-themed spin-off of the Spy Kids films.”

    See this is the problem with letting just anyone edit wikipedia. Oh wait it’s real, so by ‘edit wikipedia’ I mean ‘decide what movies get to be about’.

    • I heard at the end of this movie, it turns out that the Spy Kids were trying to kill him the entire time.

      So he kills the Spy Kids.


  3. When Tarantino does it, it’s tongue-in-cheek. When Rodriguez does it, it’s tongue-in[between]-cheek[s].

  4. Movies don’t have to look glossy to be good! This might be exactly what it needs to be! I’m certainly down for checking it out on Netflix Instant View!

  5. Woah, that trailer knocked me on my ass

    …oh, I almost forgot, Happy Cinco de Mayo

  6. Videogum Fake Movie Club?

  7. I’m contemplating suicide. I can’t get a hold of anyone I know. I’ve been sick a really long time and don’t know how much longer I can hold on. I’m sorry for posting this, but I’m so alone and so close to making a decision……

    • Are you trying to get ahold of Demi Moore? Try Twitter.

    • I do not know if you are serious or not, but I am going to err on the side of caution and say: Please do not do this. If you need to talk to someone, I’m sure that everyone here would be more than glad to listen.

    • Are you serious dude? Fer real life is way more worth it then not life, trust me!
      hit me up on the twitters man, talk it out

      • I don’t twitter. And I’m not looking for Demi Moore. I don’t know how to “prove” that this is real…. I guess there’s no real way for all of you to know. Just be careful with your comments…. I’m in a lot of pain

        • Wasnt trying to be rude or a dick with the Twitter remark, I actually use twitter as a mechanism for chatting with a lot of monsters. Seriously though, I can understand at least some measure of your pain, and for me, having a sounding board like my family and friends was a great relief, and often, they knew what I was experiencing if only because they had gone through similar ups and downs themselves.
          You can think of us as your friends (hence my urging to twitter us assuming you had an account available) and you can bounce stuff off of us
          Chat Cave?

          • I would so love to chat, but I have to be honest and tell you why I really don’t post much on here. Because of the shock therapy, it is often difficult for me remember words that had long before been a part of my vocabulary and I have certainly lost a lot of my quick wit. I have become a shy lurker and that’s why you don’t hear from me very often. I will try however at some point to join chat in the future in spite of my fears and ….. what the hell is the word???…… limitations. Thanks!

        • You don’t have to prove it, but if you would like someone to talk to, I’m sure we can arrange that. I can understand if you don’t want to do it in the comments of a blog, but honestly, if you want to talk, I am more than happy to try and work something out. I think it would be good for you to talk to someone–family, friends, professionals, or someone here if you want.

          • That’s the problem! Today of all days I can’t get a hold of anyone!!! It’s like I’m supposed to really do it this time

          • Trust me, you are not supposed to do it this time. Please, if you need to talk, talk to one of us, or call a help line. I’m happy to fine a number for your area if you would like.

        • Sorry. Didn’t think you were serious, this being a highly sarcastic and snarky site and all. No disrespect. Don’t kill yourself. If you’re on the east coast you should go outside, it’s a beautiful day!

        • Here’s a hug: O.

          That is meant truly and sincerely.

    • I know we’re just e-friends, but don’t do it. I’ve had one too many friends choose that road IRL and I can’t get them back. I read in one of your posts that you like bunnies. The best part about life is that it can change. :)

      • That was supposed to be a link to this.

        • All my life I have failed so miserably. I just can’t get away from myself, and I’m sorry, but things don’t change. I am thirty-five and have been fighting with this disease since the seventh grade. I have toiled with staying alive and even tried ending it several times, but even FAILED at THAT! I have to find a way this time to really go… to not be brought back

        • This is now my desktop picture. I sure love my baby bunnies, thanks for everything! You have no idea how much you have helped me with your care and concern. I’m sorry I was so negative but things were very dire. You postponed actions that my son and family would have regreted for the rest of their lives had I been “successful”. Words are not enough to express my gratitude to you and to so many others. XOXOXOX

  8. I’ve tried helplines. They have perky young women on them telling you how wonderful life is. I am a little past that point.

    • I am old and decidedly non-perky. Would you prefer talking to me?

    • You’re an important person. There are people in this world that love and care about you. Right now, there’s an opportunity for change no matter how small you think it is, it is there. You are a good mother. You said it yourself. Get help for him if nothing else, because he needs you here.

      • My son called me at 9:30 pm last night to tell me he loved me. You are absolutely right in everything you have said and I apologize for doubting you. You have given me more than you will ever know!

    • Call the number anyway. It couldn’t hurt.

      Most people fail more than they succeed. That is the big secret of life. I don’t care if someone posts 500 photos of himself or herself having fun on Facebook — that person still goes to bed some nights wondering where they went wrong in life. It’s normal. You’re normal.

      You might not be able to see completely what this means right now, but you have a son who loves you and needs you.

      Get some help. Get medication — that’s what it’s there for. I have friends who are alive because they take prescriptions that make them happier, and I am so relieved and thrilled they do that.

      • I have been on just about every medication there is. I was in the hospital over the winter for shock treatment and the doctor finally put me on one last med I hadn’t tried. I had a good two months and now it’s all gone. I have been fighting this for so long…. how long is enough???

        • There are more good months ahead. And years.

          Listen, will you please promise to not do anything until you have a chance to talk to your family? Or will you agree to talk to someone here? I will talk to you on the telephone and I am sure that almost everyone else would do the same. I’m just asking you to keep giving it a chance.

          • I’m sorry, Mans, I never make promises I can’t keep. Fate has brought me to where I am today: alone and with no means to find a soul to help me.

    • The fact that you posted here, it seems like you really need someone to talk to. Look how many people replied, people ARE there that can help you, I don’t have anything else to say other than to implore you not to do it.

    • I hated life and my whole family suffered from depression. My relatives commited suicide young. After 27 years I have had 3 years of happiness. Happiness is possible. Don’t do it. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Or in this case, just keep commenting. One word in front of the other.

      • I’m just so tired of fighting…. my son knows that I can never be the mother he truly needs because I am so weak. I can’t even type because I am crying so hard

        • I know what its like to be sick an tired of being sick and tired. Your mind is like a bad neighborhood don’t go there alone. Call someone, Twitter, or keep commenting it will help!

  9. I have friends who have lost a parent to suicide and it has fucked them up. Please think about your son. Don’t do that to him. He needs your love.

    • Perhaps my ex will remarry and my son will have the mother he should have had all along.

      • I think an important thing is showing your son what a true fighter you are. If you can talk to someone and let them show you what you’re capable of, it will be extremely bonding for you and your son. There is NO ONE that can replace you. That is a fact.

        • Jana is right. No one can replace you. Why don’t you tell us something about yourself. It seems from your screen name that you like art. What sort of stuff do you paint?

        • I was a very young mother. My son has suffered through this with me for a very long time. I think he deserves a pain-free life with a mother who has the strength to make it through life with him. He deserves that replacement.

          • But if YOU are gone, there can’t be a replacement.

          • It seems sometimes when we’re at our saddest that it blinds us, that we just accept it and say that that is the hand that was dealt to us. I want nothing more for you than to talk to someone and feel what it’s like to get to a good place and allow yourself to be helped. It’s not easy, but it seems that you’ve been through a lot already. It’s a wonderful thing that you’re talking to us and hope you continue to do so. Please.

          • You are not alone.

          • His life wouldn’t be pain-free. It would only be more painful if he’s lost you. There is no replacement for you in his life. I’ve been where you are before, and it seems hopeless, but it’s not. Jana is right. When we find ourselves in this state, we’re blinded to those who love us, but you are loved. You are loved by those around you, who you know in real life, and you are loved by this group of commenters who want you to be okay!

          • Seriously I may have not said it right, but talk to someone, ANYONE, and all of them will convince you you have so much worth living for. Please call help.

          • This weekend is Mother’s Day. Just think of how sad you’re son would be if you weren’t there to celebrate it with him. The only person he needs is you.

          • I am 26 years old and I know that if my mom died right now, I don’t know what I’d do. I would probably go join the military or become a priest or something, that’s how much I need my mom. And I’m an adult! So think about how much more your son needs you as a child. I don’t know you but since all of the monsters are really intelligent, kind, funny, and warm people, I’m sure it’s the same with you as well. I want you to stick around and keep commenting please.

          • i know i’m really late to this party [not party, sorry.] today is my brother’s birthday. he would have been 31. almost 3 years ago, he killed himself because. i don’t know why. there was no reason or explanation or whatever. he was bipolar and had been doing well for 2 and a half years and then i guess he just gave up.

            please please please do not kill yourself. i know you might think it would make life easier on everyone, but it does not. i would give anything to have my brother back today. i would put up with 60 more years of him at his worst just to have him back in my life. and his worst was awful. fear for my safety awful. that is how much i want him back. so please do not do this. if only for the people you love. it will not make it better for them.

          • NP, I sincerely hope you are ok. I know I’ve never talked to you, but I love you. I’ve honestly been crying for the past three hours after reading this thread because I can relate to how you feel. I am praying for you right now and hope that you make it through the night with your family. Hug your son. A hug does amazing things. Please email me at bryan.erik88 at gmail dot com and we can be friends.

            Know that you are loved.

      • These are people who love you deeply and want you to stay.

  10. I was exactly where you were a little less than a year ago. Your son doesn’t want another mother, he wants you. Please call that 800-number up above or if you want to talk (and I think you do), please send me an email right now to jackson909 at gmail dot com, and give me your phone number.

    I’m serious. I was right exactly there. Alone, trapped, with only a belief that everyone would be better without me. I know that is bullshit. Everyone, especially parents, have one person who desperately needs them in this world.

    Seriously. Email me your phone number: jackson909 at gmail dot com. I will call you right away.

    • I can’t say anything more than everyone else already has. I have no idea what the right thing to say to you is, NakedPainter, but I am one more person that is thinking of you, and hoping that you are well. I am out here RIGHT NOW wanting to come back to this board tomorrow and read more comments by you. You are a part of this community. You WOULD be missed.

  11. Thank you for your input, guys. I don’t want you to think that I am ungrateful. I am not feeling well at all and need to lie down. I hope that I have not spoiled your day. (I’m not sure what else to say)

    Be Well,

    • As long as you are ok and we will get to talk with you later! We’ll be thinking about you!

    • the chatroom is jumpin fairly often. stop by sometime today.

    • All you have to say is that you are going to talk to someone. No one is going to be upset with you. Tell them the truth just like you told us. Please know that all of us here are very invested in knowing you’re going to be OK. You can get better. You can.

    • You have no reason to apologize to us. We all want you to feel better; we want you to make it. No ones day is ruined, especially if you come back tonight or tomorrow and let us know that you are okay.

      I think alot of us here know what you are feeling, or love people who feel the way you feel, but I know that hearing that doesn’t help when you feel this way. Just know that your family and friends love you and need you. Know too that we all care what happens to you. If you need something, we will help.

      Please come back later and let us know how you are doing.

    • I hope that you feel better. Just please never forget that you are not alone. Concern may not seem sincere coming from us, as people who you don’t know in real life, but believe it when we say that you are a special, beautiful person. You may not be feeling good right now, and maybe have not been for a long time, but you can get better! Never feel guilty about reaching out for help.

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  13. Man, I hope nakedpainter is ok. I wanted to point out that after the Jonah Hex trailer I knew I’d recently seen a chaingun on something stupid before and now that I’ve rewatched the Machete trailer I remembered where. (Stop with the chainguns on things, Hollywood)
    But now I just hope nakedpainter is doing better than she was when she first commented.

  14. No one is going to read this because it’s like… four hours later (FOUR HOURS??) But this thread, while very sad and worrisome, still made me happy in a bittersweet way, because I was pleasantly surprised with how nice and compassionate everyone (almost everyone) here is. Videogum is like my Internet safe place. It should have one of those safe place signs at the top. HUGS

    • I read this and totally agree (I know its been like four-hours, but I’ve been checking in for any changes). I I’m not a stranger to depression, and I know the next time I’m feeling desperate that I’ll return to this thread and read through all the optimism and kindness that was offered here. You guys have helped more than one person today, I’m sure :)

  15. Personally, I’m pretty psyched for the Steven “The Seeg” Seagal* appearance. If he’s half as good as he was on “Songs From The Crystal Cave,” we are in for one hell of a treat this Labor Day Weekend.

    Also: HI, LAPIDUS!

  16. Unfortunately, not all of your comments have reply buttons attached to them and I can’t respond to each and every one of you. I have been deeply touched by your concern and how you have shared your own experiences with depression I would love, love, love to be friends with you (particularly obryan for being so sweet and truthful about his concern) so please feel free to reach me at I would love to become friends with any one of you and there is so much to share… not only our common experiences, but I also know that you guys are wonderful people who I would love to get to know better. Gabe has been great in letting me reach out on his blog, and I am so grateful that such an awful day turned out better in large part to all of you. You guys gave my brother time to get to my house and talk to me face-to-face, which is what I so needed, plus I felt deeply the compassion from each and every one of your comments. Don’t ever stop caring about people…. you can save a life just by reaching back to someone who is alone and confused. Don’t ever forget that! Love to you all~

    Angela B
    The Nakedpainter

  17. This is so great to hear! I dedicate this Arsenio performance to you:

    • Whoops, this should be a reply to nakedpainter.

    • OMG! Have you guys seen this??? The pants on these guys are the BOMB! Plus I actually remember this song from high school! LOL

      Thank you, Jeff! I LOVE cupcakes….. I bought some today and they had these little plastic toy things placed on top of them like purses and lipstick and my son was like “what the hell, mom?”, but that was all they had! I had to tell him that I didn’t think he cross-dressed.


  18. I am so happy that Videogum exists

    • It’s saving the world one person at a time. ;) I think it’s going to push the end of the world back (forward?) to 2015 before we know it!

      • i read this post and i had to comment. my heart goes out to you. you seem like a beautiful, sensitive, talented, wonderful person, who believe it or not and despite the shock treatments, is funny witty and incredibly well-spoken. i know sometimes it seems there isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel, that life is an endless expenditure of effort with no end result or gain. i know sometimes it seems that the world would carry on without us, that maybe even be BETTER OFF without us, but that is NOT TRUE. it is a lie, a mistruth. i myself have struggled with bipolar, where sometimes you feel incredibly depressed for no reason at all, and i mujst admit that sometimes at night, i consider purring the sleeping pills i use down my throat and ending the pain and seemingly fruitless life i deal with. i am by nature a fighter, but things are tough. but i am SO GLAD i didn’t do it. every time i goutside and smell fresh cut grass, or have an especially good conversation with my little brother, or hear how my input helped him on a school project, i cannot tell you how GRATEFUL AND GLAD i am that i DID NOT. in that moment, the happiness i feel is a million times more powerful than the sadness ever was, and i know that sometimes, you just have to STICK IT OUT. stick it out, because you WILL BE HAPPY AGAIN, you will feel joy again, and one day you will look back on your decision and be so INFINTIELY GRATEFUL that you chose to live. and in that moment the pain you went through will be worth it, no just because it gave you the depth of experience that you have today, but because its what you went through that led you to that path. i find that sometimes for a couple of days or weeks or even months i will go through a particularly difficult time, culminating in an episode where the sadness and isolation feel overwhelming, and i consider ending everything. but somehow i conjure the strength to not do anything. i find that after these difficult weeks, i often experience a period of great happiness and goodwill, where things seem to go y way, and i look at it as cyclical. meaning if im having an especially hard time, i think to myself, “i know for a fact that next week is going to be awesome”. and it is, i sort of think of it as God’s or the universe’s way of making me earn my personal happiness, and those hard times are like a drop in the bank. i promise, if they aren’t already, things will get bette.r know that at this monet there are tons of videogum monsters across the country wishing you blessings, goodwill, happiness and joy. know that hopefully that energy will be creating good things for you and blessing you ith positive energy you may not be aware of now, and that there is so much love for you, from your son, your family, and even people you’ve never met. i am so impressed by your wit and intelligence, even if you feel like its a charade at times, and i feel like the world would be a much worse place without you in it. i actually had a classmate, who die nerve talked to but knew of, commit suicide in ninth grade, and i really cant tell you how that has affected my life. before then i never thought of suicide and never understood it.. since that boy committed suicide, i think about it ALL THE TIME. whaty i could have done, my role in allowing his life to deteriorate to that point, the moral responsibility i had to prevent him from feeling so depressed. and more than anything, the sight of his little brother sobbing at the school memorial service. ill never, EVER, NEVER forget it or get over it, and i never even knew him. i cannot imagine the pain and heartbreak our son will feel, and since he is only 5, i think he would probably have hard time remembering you and would wonder about his role in the whole thing. its crazy but true- everyone feels responsible. please, not to guilt you because i know that makes it worth- THAT I NOT MY INTENTION. but just realize you have so much worth and value, and at least for his sake, please seek some sort of help. please do not do anything. you seem like a beautiful, kind, thoughtful person, and a blessing to the world. i am wishing you joy and happiness in every way. i hope you are feeling better by now, but if you ever are in a dark place EVER AGAIN, please read these threads and realize how beautiful you are on the inside, and outside.

        • Thank you so much. For anyone who may not understand WHY someone would want to take their own life, you have to understand that people with depression feel an emotional pain that has no description, and that’s when the thoughts of suicide come into play. The pain is so BAD that you feel that death is the only way OUT, and you begin to make up reasons why suicide is a good idea like “I’m such a failure anyway” and “this will never get any better” and things like that. This might not be the best depiction of why suicide happens, but if it helps anyone understand it better than I have succeeded at least once.

          Physical pain can be awful, awful…. sickness, injury… anything that may cause it can make life unbearable. Emotional pain is JUST AS BAD at times. But support from others is everything. I have been so fortunate to have garnered so much of it. I will never forget it. Never.

          • i’ve suffered with depression for years and years, and contemplated suicide several times… it’s never worth it though. there are always, and WILL always, be good days. please know that you always have people that care about you, even in this case, strangers.

      • hi NP, sorry I’m so late to this, but I’m so happy you’re ok. I won’t go into details but I’ve been where you’ve been, and knowing you’re hanging in there helps me to hang in there too. I hope you have a wonderful Mother’s day full of love and hugs from your son, who I’m sure loves you to bits. much lovexxx

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