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Mickey Rourke stars in a new Dutch commercial for Bavaria-brand non-alcoholic beer and/or Mickey Rourke stars in a new Dutch documentary about how everyone in the world knows that Mickey Rourke is an idiot that is very difficult to be around:
Get it? Mickey Rourke is a bossy disrespectful asshole who doesn’t even know the difference between alcohol and the intoxication of his own ego. NO DUH. Admittedly, he was robbed of the 2009 Oscar for Best Male Performance, and I am still waiting for Sean Penn to do the right thing and GIVE THAT OSCAR BACK. But that is still no reason for Mickey Rourke to be a jerk to people who are just trying to do their jobs! (Thanks for the tip, BradyShow.)
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He’s starting to look kind of like Pamela Anderson to me
Does that mean he’s pretty?
No, Pamela Anderson looks like a transgendered gentleman
Hatchet. Face.
Amen steve winwood
I think only Rourke’s barmates at the end there will ever know if he is indeed pamela anderson.
I feel like it’s more a case of Pamela Anderson starting look like Mickey Rourke than vice versa.
“My girl friend looks a little bit like Charlize Theron, and alot like Dog The Bounty Hunter.” -ZG
Give it a few days, we’ll find out this is just a viral video for Burger King’s Iron Man 2 range
Did he just get that adorable little chihuahua drunk? That’s bad parenting Mr. Rourke
Zo.
In pop culture, “Self-aware” is starting to become “Self-hating”.
The way he sweeps the coat tails of his bathrobe out as he sits at the bar puts me in mind of a piano player, which logically leads to piano-bar jokes.
A piano player went into a bar but kept fidgeting so much that he could not enjoy his drink. Finally the bartender asked him what was wrong. The piano player replied, “My keys, my keys! I can’t seem to find my keys!”
You get it? (I don’t get it either)
I once drank a whole case of O’Douls, then went for a drive. I got pulled over, and the officer asked me if I’d been drinking. I said, “Sort of.” I explained I’d drunk a whole case of non-alcoholic beer. And he gave me a ticket for being a gaylord.
–Nick Madson, writing for Zach Galifianakis
I thought it was pretty funny, monsters. Mickey Rourke is a legit crazy person, but atleast he appears to know this.
I know I’m completely missing the point here, but I’m really more amazed by a commercial for alcohol-free beer. Is that really a thing that needs to be advertised? I would imagine that such a product has a pretty specific target demographic, and those people kind of already know what to buy. I can’t imagine someone seeing that commercial and saying “Man, why am I drinking this stuff with alcohol in it, when THAT is available?!” I don’t know, maybe I’m not in touch with youth culture these days?
No see, I asked a person who legitimately enjoyed nonalcoholic beer once about this, and he said, It’s for when you want to drink a beer without feeling the effects of the alcohol. As a German living in Germany, where alcohol-free beer is made by the same breweries that create many delicious, alcoholic beers, and therefore meets the same high standards that German beer generally does, his point was, I felt, legit.
That said, I still think it’s silly, but I’m not a father of four with a full-time job who sometimes wants to drink an entire liter of beer without getting drunk, either. So.
Oh, I’m not saying there’s no reason to drink non-alcoholic beer. I still have a few left in the fridge from when my wife was pregnant and wanted a beer. I just have strong doubts that there is enough of a market to warrant the cost of having advertisements with A-list celebrities.
Oh RIGHT, the point of your comment!
Non-alcoholic beer: doesn’t move enough units. Binge drinking is bad! But beer is cool! Ergo, alcohol-free beer is where it’s at.
There seems to be an A-hole in the A-list.
He was also robbed for “Double Team”, but probably because Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dennis Rodman ended up splitting the vote.
“Now that I gave you a second chance, make the best of it. And by ‘the best of it’, I mean Whoppers and Dutch near-beer.”
- Darren Aronofsky
“Whoppers and Dutch Near-beer.” Soon to be a Bright Eyes song.
In the Netherlands, non-alcoholic beers are called “lørries”
In Soviet Netherlands, lørries drink you!
Nederlands doesn’t have that character. You meant “lörries,” ja?
I actually realized that immediately after I clicked submit. Not having an edit button is killing me. Es tut mir leid!
And “Es tut mir leid” is German, not Dutch. Just sayin’, America can never get Dutch right. Goldmember was just German in our weird accent. Guess that’s what we get for being a flyover country.
#dutchgum
Well to be fair all your colonies stopped speaking Dutch–with the exception of Curacao?–so if even your former slaves don’t see the point in keeping the language, what’s the point of the MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE learning it?
KIDDING KIDDING JOKE JOKE JOKE.
Het spijt me. En ons, het spijt ons.
meaverly: Well, we gave the world Apartheid. So yeah, het spijt ons.
Also the words dollar, cookie, coleslaw, bazooka, anchor, boss, booze, Yankee, Santa Claus and Brooklyn DAMMIT ok calm down.
And “smearcase” = “smeerkaas” apparently. Thank you wikipedia.
Today is funtimes dutch facts on videogum! Sincerely, I am inspired to learn more.
In Canadian news, I discovered there’s a Commonwealth Flag. Unfortunately, it’s lame.
One more fun fact before I go to sleep:
Flushing was named after a Dutch town, but not by the Dutch. The English who lived there, in the colony of New Netherland, named it after Vlissingen, which at the time was occupied by the English.
Ok, one more: Peter Minuit, onetime gouverneur of New Netherland, returned after he was fired to found New Sweden in a part of New Netherland he knew would be a difficult location to kick people out of.
This concludes A Short History Of Dick Moves Against New Amsterdam (Not To Imply That They Were Saints).
Source(s):
The Island at the Center of the World by Russell Shorto
I’m just failing all over the place today. I just don’t know any Dutch, and German is similar, right? Right? I’ll show myself out.
I think he means ‘vrachtwagen’.
In the Netherlands, Dutch ovens are called “Toot tents”.
Yes bartender, by all means, go ahead and try to trick the insane monster made out of tanks and fists by serving him non-alcoholic beer. He has nothing to lose, and everything to put inside of a coffin.
I think Gabe is confusing stupid and difficult to be around for totally hilarious and fun to be around. If I ever party with Mickey Rourke I am going to reenact the Ram Jam on him and he seems like the kind of guy who would be okay with it. Love his little dog too.
I just wish there was swearing in American commericals.
“Eat this fucking whopper!”
-Mickey Rourke
The old spice would be even better with cursing.
“Whiplash is stupid and difficult to be around.” – Ironman
Hey Gabe, we agree on who should have won best actor at the 2009 Oscars. Neat!
So the bartender just DECIDES to give Mickey Rourke non-alcoholic beer for no reason? Yikes, I wonder what Mickey Rourke will do when he finds out he’s been tricked…
“Yes, that is exactly what Americans are like.”
–every Dutch person who sees this commercial.