“I wanted to get fit, but gyms are too expensive, and besides, who has the time? No, I needed a workout program that I could do at home on my own time, and I wanted one that would be tailor-made to my fitness needs. Admittedly, I had some pretty specific requirements. For one thing, I wanted to get healthy and strong in my genitals for some reason. And I wanted my fitness tips to be delivered by a woman who sounds like a robot. But most importantly, I needed a workout routine that I could do while wearing my one-piece, shoulderless golden bodysuit. So, naturally, my quest for the perfect workout routine took a little longer than your average Tae-Bo practitioner or Slam Man owner, but when I found Tatyana Kozhevnikova’s “Intimate Gymnastics” program, I knew the wait had been worth it. My vagina is so powerful now!”

What is wrong with this woman and what is wrong with you?

Comments (57)
  1. “she’s very pretty”
    - Steve Winwood

  2. The tag set of my dreams. Admittedly, my dreams are my nightmares, but nevertheless!

  3. Between this and that Curb Your Enthusiasm thing, Videogum is beginning to seem a lot like work.

  4. The Official Workout of Teabaggers Everywhere™

  5. For once, Youtube’s Closed Caption got it right…

  6. I’m pretty sure this was just the German late night show. She was briefly bumped from the air because her network–TBS Very Liebestraum–had promised her time slot to a guy who shoved thumb tacks into his scrotum, but then Scrotie’s ratings started to slip. They tried to bump Scrotie to a later time slot and put Tatyana back on the air, but he shot himself with a crossbow. Because German’s are insane.

  7. I’m so happy there’s a solution! my vision went all black & white when I realized how flabby my genitals had become! Thanks Intimate Gymnastics!

  8. “Teach me … Human. . . How . . . Do . . . I . . . Love . .”

    -Tatyana Kozhevinkova

  9. Since I’ve already admitted to unsafe driving because of my big dumb girl shoes today: I’ve read about this sort of thing in ladies’ magazines before–ladies’ magazines are always telling their readers to strengthen their vaginal muscles, strengthen and strengthen and strengthen them!!!! Always Be Improving some part of your hideously imperfect body–weak vaginal walls are the new batwings!–but I’ve never seen it performed before. So, um, thanks, Tanya Kozhevnikova, and Tanya Kozhevnikova’s translator, for this helpful instructional video. I’m so glad it was free, and will not show up in my search history.

  10. Of course a Russian would have the strongest vagina [what am I even saying].

  11. “Still got that knife in your garter”
    “They took it.”
    “Still got that derringer in your bustle?”
    “They took it all Jonah.”
    “Still got that smaller glass ball in your cooch and the larger glass ball hanging off it on a string coming out of your cooch.”
    “Oh, no, that’s right here”

    “hmmm… actually, what the fuck are we going to do with that?”

  12. I like to work out my genitals the old fashioned way
    I meant lunges you pervs

  13. My vagina is so powerful, I can use it crush pecans, shell and all. Which reminds me, do you want seconds on that pie?

  14. Sure – it’s easy to rip on gym rats, but we all know “healthy vag, healthy mind and soul”

    Just kidding, she is a robot.

  15. So many things are mine today! Is it Christmas already?

  16. I’m seeing all kinds of possibilities for this woman to be in the Magic 8 Ball movie.

  17. What happened to the Stand-up? I this was sandwiched inbetween her jokes?

  18. You think the internet is a safe place, you order something, it comes, and it turns out different. Like that wrestling class mom made me take.

    I am sure there is exercise involved somewhere in here… but intimacy to the max, as they say in wrestling.

  19. I just really want to know what she plans to do with the moose and squirrel.

  20. i mean, you gotta have a tough vagina to survive in a country ruled by this:

  21. Gotta prep for next time Sufjan puts those fingers in.

  22. This seems like part 2, where is part 1? no, wait please don’t tell me.

  23. …and release.

  24. OUCH! – my penis

  25. Once the T-1000 discovered its vagina, all it wanted was to optimize its performance. It forget all about John Connor.

  26. “it’s not vagina if you can’t open beer with it”
    - Tatyana Kozhevnikova

  27. I really want a vaginal workout program to be corporatized just to have an infomercial with a “there’s got to be a BETTER WAY!” montage of women doing it wrong on their own.

  28. Where can I get the space age soundtrack?

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