Listen up dudes who are interested in making money when they grow up but are also seriously considering pursuing a liberal arts education in college just for their own spiritual fulfillment, and girls who are determined to raise their children (if they decide to have children at all) in a world without glass ceilings, even if you are kind of unsure what glass ceilings are at this point in your life, but you’re pretty sure you get it, and you hate them. This might come as a surprise, but today I don’t want to rap at you about safe sex. Because I want to let Justin Bieber and Sean Kingston rap at you. About nursery rhymes. Diet Barq’s.

After the jump, we’ve got the fresh new dope awesome music video word up from Justin Bieber and Sean Kingston for their song “Eenie Meenie,” as in “Eeny, Meeny, Miny, DA BOMB!”

Neat video! I liked the part where there was a party. That part was really sweet cool.

Real quick, though, if you ARE going to have sexual intercourse, please use protection. Nothing can derail your young life more quickly than an unwanted pregnancy, and sexually transmitted diseases are definitely not radical at all. I’m just trying to give you guys some of the real talk. I’m treating you like adults. Because one thing you will discover is that adults are constantly talking to each other about safe sex. Enough, adults! You’re like a broken record with all the safe sex talk you’re always having with each other!

Comments (54)
  1. Gabe, once you finish compiling all your Summer Jams™, You, Topher, Birdie and me should drive around with our Frappuccinos and rock out. I will ride in the back with Birdie, because it’s the responsible place for babies and pets to sit.

  2. I liked the part where Sean and The Biebs were in cat costumes.

    • I like to imagine that an actual Bieber fan (Biebermaniac? Is that what they call themselves? It should be.) will be Bing-ing for this new video (’cause google is for old people!) and find this post, and that this poor young girl will actually watch the hot cats video and be angry that it’s not really the video for “Fe Fie Fo Fum” or whatever and post a comment about how we all suck and then tell her friends to practice safe sex.

      And that is how Gabe will have made the world a better place.

  3. Did….did Gabe just Rickroll us? Only instead of the dulcet tones of Rick Astley, it was the terrifying Hot Cats video?

    Well played, sir. I did not for one second suspect such a ruse.

  4. I think Gabe just called our boyfriend Justin a pussy, not cool Gabe

  5. So, is the black cat Sean Kingston and the white cat Justin Bieber? Because that is racist!

  6. Yo girl, the only thing eenie meenie about J Biebs is his respect for haters, nah mean?

  7. I don’t know about you, but I’m sort of glad we got Catrolled with this video. All these Bieber posts are messing up my life right now. As I was driving to work today, “Baby” came on the radio, and I caught myself singing, “Babby, Babby, Babby, Ohhhhhh”.

  8. This comment section has the most hypnotizing gifs I’ve ever seen. I don’t even think I am aware that I am commenting. I just remember a Justin Bieber voice singing “and you will comment in 3…2…”

  9. They are just training for the 2010 World Sauna Championship

    (hint: bet against Finland, Sweden is due for a win)

  10. That video was funky fresh! Taco Bell! I watched it twice! Phish 3D!

  11. I am trying to contain my laughter, but it comes out every 30 seconds in a rush of air. There has got to be a way to stop laughing that doesn’t involve suffocating yourself.

    I can’t believe that sauna cat video is up again. Oh man, if this was intentional then Gabe you are particularly astute and knew we needed a little shake up. If this was not intentional, who cares? It’s gold!

  12. I would like to point out that, yes, Sean Kingston is actually competing against Justin Bieber for ladies.

    • i am particularly disturbed that the same girl trying to hook up with sean kingston is also trying to hook up with a CHILD because that is what justin bieber is. he is like 12 years old or something. and that is gross.

  13. Are they singing “Eenie meenie miney mo, catch a bitch up by her toe”?

  14. I keep having to remind myself that Justin Bieber isn’t a lesbian.

  15. Okay it all makes sense now. Justin Bieber is a pick-up artist. He did the “twirl the target” move though it didn’t work out so well. Come on kid, you’ve got to throw in a neg!

  16. I love how all of Lil Bieber’s shawtys seem to be taller than he is.

  17. Shawty is also a statutory rapist, ALLEGEDLY.

  18. “She’s indecisive; she can’t decide.”

    -Sean Kingston clearing up any confusion you might have had. Thanks, Sean Kingston!

    • I came here to comment on how kids’ these days’ lyrics these days seem to be stating something and then defining it.
      Some more things I thought would be great lyrics and am going to sell to some funky fresh youths:

      “I’m enthusiastic; I’m excited about something”
      “Shorty’s manipulative; she makes it so she’s in control”
      “This rock is malleable; it’s flexible”

      Oh god wait no I’ve figured it out
      They’re working with teachers to subtly teach children vocabulary through their lyrics! It’s a conspiracy!

  19. I just played this, really loudly, in my office, and I was enjoying it probably more than I should have, and maybe doing a little dance at my desk, and then I turned around and my co-worker was standing in my doorway staring at me and she quietly said “do you like this song?” and I didn’t have an answer.

    See you guys in the unemployment line!

  20. Bieber brings out the best in VGum.

  21. I feel like this is a song me and my friends would’ve written when we decided we were going to form a band in fifth grade and call ourselves Ivy’s Wonder.

    Yeah, that’s right. You’re just jealous you didn’t come up with that band name first.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.