OK, so, admittedly, I saw the Beastly trailer a few days ago, and I have been wanting to post it ever since but I haven’t gotten around to it because I have been LAUGHING TOO HARD. Now it is your turn! Beastly trailer, you guys:

Oh no, that poor jerk! I sure hope that he falls in love and becomes beautiful again at the end but with more compassion towards other people and a focus on what’s on the inside rather than what is on the outside! Just kidding, I literally don’t care what happens to him at all. I hope he gets UGLIER!

Although, let’s be honest, he’s not really that ugly? His curse is to be super-ripped and have interesting tattoos? I guess the nose staples are a little weird, but lots of kids in high school experiment with unfortunate body modifications. And also, uh, Vanessa Hudgens wouldn’t date him? Sorry. Sorry make-believe asshole cursed by a billionaire teenage shopping mall witch. They really should have done a better job with the casting if they wanted us to believe that some stupid jerk we have no reason to care about finds someone to love him for who he is (which is still basically a jerk, right? But just an ugly jerk now?) than Zac Efron’s girlfriend. In real life she would be like, “ew, my bodyguard is going to murder you.” And then her bodyguard would murder him.

Speaking of terrible movie trailers of terrible looking movies intended for misguided teenagers: new Twilight: Eclipse trailer in your pants. Here’s an open letter to teenagers: Dear teenagers, like better stuff! Sincerely, adults.

Comments (53)
  1. This film has Mary-Kate Olsen as a witch that can turn people into Nero from the Star Trek film?

    “MAN that was an awesome April 20th”
    ~ Whoever came up with this shit

  2. Between this and the Smurfs Neil is making it hard to declare him the next Videogum Promise recipient

  3. Powder meets Rocky Dennis and they have a kid = basically this movie

  4. Mary-Kate Olsen pays a visit to Gwyneth Paltrow:

  5. “Let’s just say I’m substance over style.”

    That is hilarious.

  6. Substance over style? PAH! I say Substance IS Style. Sisley, bitches.

    but maybe not:

  7. Beastlight

  8. mydaughter'sname69  |   Posted on Apr 23rd, 2010 +58

    “I heard you were very into roses! I’m gonna build you a greenhouse!”
    - Megan Fox admirer

  9. Hatchet Space shoutout at 1:18 hollaaaa

  10. Me about Vanessa Hudgens:
    “Meh, I’ve seen worse.”

    Also, NPH as blind guy? Was he blind when he read the script?

  11. Ah nice! I checked my Digi-Dex after I looked up this trailer! I didn’t know he had a second stage evolution cus I thought he was a rare Digimon (pokemon? (sp)).

    GO PALE-MAN! Sit! Wait! Eat!

  12. Spoiler Alert:

    This movie is going to be featured in The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time

  13. While looking for this pile of garbage on IMDB I accidentally typed ‘Bestly.’ That is so not what this is! It is Worstly!

  14. I don’t know… the friendly black optimistic advice (1:54) could push this film for an Oscar.

  15. Here is the only way possible to make this a good movie. They score the climactic falling in love scene with this popular classic by my old colleague Peter Cetera:

    Next time I fall
    In Loooooove
    Oooh-ah-oooh-ah-OOH!
    The next time I fall
    In Looooove
    The next time I fall in love
    It could be with yooooooou

  16. Vampires, Werewolves, that thing! What these kids need is realistic, relatable, romantic movies. C’mon Hollywood, where’s:
    “Text-less in Seattle”?
    “When Harry Twittered Sally”?
    “You’ve Got Poked?”

  17. well, now i know where to go this summer to get my fill of mediocre, soaring, emo-lite anthems.

  18. Weird thing is Mary Kate Olsen looks more like the Beast from Beauty and the Beast than anyone else in this thing.

  19. he should look for love with one of these poor girls. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bheJqbeQh78#t=5m20s

  20. Uh oh. I hope “bald with facial scars” for dudes isn’t the new “hair up with glasses” for girls in crappy “beauty is on the inside” movies.

  21. I like how the goal is to realize it’s only inner beauty that matters — so he spends a year chasing a conventionally cute girl.

    Where’s the girl with facial scars? With burn tissue on 90% of her body? Her obese body? Especially in the batwings area and perineum etc.? But she has a GREAT sense of humor? And volunteers at the animal shelter, probably. Movie, make us fall in love with that girl!

    Teach me well, Movie. I’m going to cherish you my whole life.

  22. The Mary-Kate from verymarykate.com is so much better than the real Mary-Kate. Probably. (Definitely.)

  23. No wait…NEIL PATRICK HARRIS? I need to see this film or i might DIE of anticipation! LOLZZZ

  24. This is just a misleading title. It just sounds like a documentary about bestiality.

  25. Tattoo’s can be removed if you are rich an have a lot of money…pussy.

  26. I really hope that is NPH throwing up because of how cheesy that line was and not just a cut made for the trailer, it just fit all to conveniently.

    Also….Death Cab recording a song just for New Moon was bad enough, but now to have let an kind of older song get used in this masterpiece…

  27. I love what a completely insane prick he is at the start of this.
    She should have given him constant putrescent flatulence. Try rich and handsoming your way out of that. Let alone, learning the ‘what’s on the inside that counts’ inspirational drivel…
    Michel Gondry to direct.

  28. Can the Olsen girl turn me into to Beastly for having watched that crap? i mean, BLEEEEEECCCCCCCCK!

  29. But it’s (Disney’s) Beauty and the Beast for a new millennium! (I know we’ve made many references but that is the reference).

    And also Neil Patrick Harris!

    I charge Joe Mande Take One For The Team and watch this and edit together all the NPH parts for Videogum.

  30. One aspect that could major improve this movie.

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