jersey_shore_cast

Reader teevee sent in a tip about a website looking to cast a reality show that is basically Jersey Shore but with people from Boston called Wicked Summer. What a neat world we live in full of interesting, original ideas that are intended to educate as well as entertain! The description on the casting sheet says:

You come from all over–Gloucester, Worcester, South End, Charlestown, Chicopee and South Swansea. You share a love for muscle cahs, hair products and little necks on the frickin half shell. You don’t take sh*t from nobody–least of all each othah. You believe in God, family, the Red Sox and partying!!

You’ll pahty on the beaches of the Cape where cases of Narragansett Light are on every Celtics towel next to a bottle of baby oil and a can of hair spray!

You ready to live togethah, laugh togethah, drink togethah and love togethah?

“That show sounds purrrrrrfect.”
–Cat

You know that you are part of an awesome subculture when people basically call you an asshole to get you interested in something. “Hey, you’re terrible, I bet you are going to love this.” “Thanks for the heads up, bro, I am terrible, and I do love that.” So, now that America is getting a peak inside the real life of ALL Italian-Americans and is about to get a look at what it’s really like when people stop being faggots and start getting drunk, what group that self-identifies as being “awful” should live in a crappy house on TV in order to make a career out of the nightmare choices they’ve made in life next?!

  • Frat boys
  • White supremacists
  • Tea baggers
  • Spencer and Heidi Montag
  • Jews
  • Women
  • Just kidding Jews and Women!
  • Pop Culture Bloggers

Human beings come in all shapes and sizes, but if TV is to be believed, they mostly come in asshole.

Comments (136)
  1. I think we’re quickly approaching the event horizon on a Juggalo Themed TV Show. And Why Not? Who wouldn’t love Juggalo Shore – Ann Arbor?

  2. If we could clone Nicholas Sparks and put him in a house with 8 copies of himself, that could be good hate-watching television.

  3. Ginger Island.

  4. Oh MAN. Is it bad that I can’t wait until I can play the Wicked Summer drinking game. For surely there will be a Wicked Summer drinking game.

  5. They have a casting call for an “Asian Jersey Shore” out also. So definitely them. (I have a picture of Asian people in my wallet)

  6. People who own ferrets

  7. tea party activists.

  8. Tiger, Jesse James, Ben Roethlisberger, et al. Just call it “Man of the Year”

  9. I would probably (hate) watch a bunch of pop culture bloggers living in a house together. And then I would download some bullets.

  10. Jay Leno and 7 of his classic cars. They all have sex with each other.

  11. Philly Pride: Adventures at Wawa
    starring: Roy Ziegler*

    *joke for 5 people

    • oh man if we’re doing city in jokes, let me suggest the ladies of lakeview, aka the st. dominic’s mafia. watch them make racist statements about grade schoolers! watch them launch lawsuits against section 8 renters, who are just dirty animals messing up their neighborhoods! go on their adventures as they travel up and down their pockmarked streets in their suvs writing down every address that isn’t repaired from the storm yet so they can send five hundred dollar code enforcement fines to the negligent owners! watch in fear as they call the cops on black teenagers on bikes who clearly are in the area to case joints! marvel at how horrible their plastic surgery looks and how much tacky fleur de lis jewelry they can pack on at one time!

    • I am one of said 5 people — maybe this is exactly the project Scharpling & Wurster need to start steamrolling chumps!

    • Mummers. Gotta do a reality TV show about mummers.

  12. I can’t wait to watch “Best House Ever” with Gabe, Amelie Gillette, Alex Blagg, Joel McHale, Jonah Peretti, and whoever does stuff at Vulture all getting drunk and going clubbing every night.

  13. I live in Massachusetts and I know quite a few massholes, so I know this show’s gonna spend a fortune on editing seeing as massholes use the word “fuckin” to describe everything.

    • You know, like we don’t have a shitty enough reputation already. I remember Jim Norton going on and on about all the racists he met in Boston. Every time Massachusetts comes up on the AV Club boards(whatever), it’s followed by a huge thread about ignorance and ugly women. I don’t get it! It’s a beautiful state with so much history and sure, we have our rednecks, like any other state, but they’re mostly isolated in Western Mass.

      In conclusion, Massachusetts is for lovers.

    • I know what you mean.

      But we also have the corner on pilgrims and Puritans. We should do a show about them! They can be horrible and catty too!

  14. A gay, soft spoken actuary who lives alone in Omaha, NE.

    I’m taking calls!

  15. I just texted my friend in the Boston area that I will be very disappointed if he doesn’t get on the show. Wicked inside scoop, ya’ll.

  16. C Street Shore – Several self-righteous conservative politicians who extol family values yet lead secret lives of depravity. They will live in a beautiful row home in DC where they pay absurdly below market value rent where they claim to be seeking council from religious leaders.

    • how about the dorms of patrick henry college- sexually frustrated home schooled youth are thrown into the temptation zone of college! they struggle to maintain composure as they hold hands with the conservative christian heartthrob of their dreams, all while trying to craft the perfect moot court argument that will finally overturn roe v. wade!

      • did you ever read god’s harvard??? what a good book! anyway it is about that college.

        • no, i haven’t read that book, but i got mildly obsessed with that college a few years ago! mostly because i got bored at work one day and read their college catalog, which contains like 20 pages of bonkers rules the students have to abide by philosophically in order to attend the school. and i read a few creepy articles about the whole thing. that book has been on my reading list forever. i should finally do it soon!

      • “Give me liberty or give me…a mandatory Statement of Faith that I must sign in order to gain admission which denies evolution and acknowledges that ‘Satan exists as a personal, malevolent being who acts as tempter and accuser, for whom Hell, the place of eternal punishment, was prepared, where all who die outside of Christ shall be confined in conscious torment for eternity.’”

        ???

    • I see what you did there.

  17. LOST haters.

    • The Steve Winwood Show

    • I consider myself LOST agnostic.

      • Aglostic?

      • Me too, Jeb. I’ve never actually seen it but I reluctantly accept that Lost may, in fact, be a real show with some redeemable qualities. The main reason I can’t fully accept Lost is because most of the stories/gospels I’ve seen in testament to it range from confusing to completely absurd and those that follow it are often violently loyal to the point where they reject all other TV shows as heresy. Maybe one day when I am older and I realize that TV is full of nothing but violence and shows about assholes, I will finally accept Lost as my entertainment savior. Probably not though. Secretly I’m just a Lost atheist but too much of a pussy to admit it.

    • I’m making my tape as we speak.

  18. I will just imagine what the ridiculous nicknames for the tea party activists living in the house will be.
    - Tax Incentive
    - The Defficit
    - Haterade
    - Rich
    - Real ‘mercan

  19. “Class Warfare”: A group of assholes with Ivy League educations whose parents paid for their apartments in NYC while they interned for MTV for free (and subsidized their rent while they made entry-level wages) who think reality shows about working-class “ethnics” are really fucking hilarious.

  20. I want to see several videogum commentators living together on a beach somewhere. There’d be daily gif and snarky comment challenges. Score would be kept in thumbs-ups and the lowest rated score would be eliminated at the end of every episode unless they were chosen by the benevolent and mysterious “Gabe” as the “Editor’s Choice”, where they would have to spend a night with him on a boat. If they survive, they get to stay.
    People survive only on pizza and cups of yogurt and if you’re the winner of the week, you get to go in the “CAB room” and play with adorable puppies on a trampoline.

    MTV Presents:
    Monster Island

  21. Vampire Weekend

  22. Fox News Anchors

  23. One if by land, two if by basic cable.

  24. Youtube commenters.

  25. Also Yelp reviewers.

    • Watch as they figure out new, non-sequitur ways to tell everyone about foreign countries they’ve visited! Always wondered how much better everything is in (insert place they recently moved from) compared to your city? Now you know!

      God I hate Yelp reviewers. They are seriously the WORST.

      • Also watch as they decide to give a restaurant two stars because, despite excellent food and service, the people sitting next to them were talking too loudly.

        They are totally the WORST

  26. pitch:

    Let’s make a new reality show about 20-somethings from Denver who like to party called Mile Hig*GUNSHOT*

    (Everyone knows that show would be really boring anyway. Also, original ideas are just terrible: http://www.aspentimes.com/article/20100304/NEWS/100309918 )

  27. Uh, hello? Juggalos?

  28. Looking at obnoxious ugly superficial people who put on too much makeup and work out all the time is one thing but looking at obnoxious ugly unkempt people who haven’t ever heard of makeup and think a golf shirt and a red sox cap is dressed up is a completely other matter.

    I never thought I’d say this, but no thank you TV.

  29. Only lorries will know what I’m talking about, but I’d love to see a chav reality show. Basically British guidos, with their own special flavor of trash.

  30. Somewhere, Ben Affleck is quietly weeping into his Amstel Light. “HAR-vard YAHrrrd,” he says. “Hah-VAHD Yahhhhhhd. Hah-vah Yah.” He takes another sip. “I’ve lost it,” he whispers, “I’ve lost it I’ve lost it I’ve lost it.”

    Scene.

  31. people on reality tv shows are by default awful

  32. Celebrity Scientologists. Or, serial killers.

  33. Jorters, anyone?

  34. gutter punks and gutter hippies.

  35. Put Juggalos in a house with Slipknot fans!! Watch them argue over face paint vs. masks!

  36. Religious fanatics. One of each flavour. But four of the shouty ‘God Hates Fags’ baptists….
    Shit. i just described the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem.

  37. I wanna see a Jersey Shore with mostly real cast mates plus Bobby Bottleservice. It would be cool to see him infiltrate the culture and see if he’s accepted or not.

  38. Ugh. Get out of my state teabaggers and reality TV show people!!

  39. Yay! And augh. But also yay!

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