I think if there is one thing that we all agree on when it comes to the Shrek franchise it is that the characters have never been fuckable enough. “Come on, Dreamworks, make me cum! Using Shrek!” That is what everyone is always saying to Dreamworks about Shrek. Everyone. Always. Well, this summer, everyone’s (WET) dream (GET IT?) will finally come (GET IT?) true when this fashion spread (GET IT?) featuring all of your favorite FANTASY (GET IT?) characters is published in the August issue of VMen magazine. Neat! It is nice when what you want and what the world NEEDS are aligned.

In conclusion, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, WHO WANTS THIS, YUCK, and also GROSS. (Photos via ONTD)

Comments (41)
  1. Just some of the dirty talk you can expect from the upcoming Shrek-themed porno ‘Pussy in Boots’;

    “Oh my god, I’m going to do you so hard.”
    “Really?”
    “Really, really.”

  2. Mr.Cool Shades in the last photo is the best part!

  3. Ogres are like onions, they have layers
    now let me remove all my layers of clothing
    yeah

  4. This magazine seems to have the opposite effect of the “Window Seat” video: It gives me ample time to masterbate, and yet, for whatever reason, I do not feel inclined to at all.

  5. I can’t tell you how long I’ve been waiting to read that headline. No I can finally take that green suit off of my dog.

  6. That’s so like Dreamworks to rip off Hannah Montana.

  7. Don’t get me wrong this is a beautiful photo shoot with a beautiful message
    But I gotta puke at least once DAMN!

  8. This would make just as much sense and be just as gross if each character’s human counterpart was used instead–and that includes Cameron Diaz.

  9. The man-model at the donkey show is really not ready for what he is about to witness/participate in. Look at his grossed-out face! Unless that is his “I’m so hard right now” face, in which case, sorry, lady-model. Sorry and BARF.

  10. Rule 34 strikes again.

  11. The only thing we can agree on is to disagree. I have never found Shrek and friends to be unfuckable. I’m going to jail, huh?

  12. To be fair, Shrek’s ears are very fuckable.

  13. Have you never done an unrestricted Google image search for a cartoon before? Ewwww.

  14. “I like this. It plays with our expectations about the conventions of a high fashion magazine, and the characters from the movie, which in and of themselves are modern and fractured takes on the “fairytale” archetype. It lends an air of sophistication and heft to the movie without taking itself too seriously, and the juxtaposition of the waifish models and the slovenly ogres is a witty comment on glamor and identity.”
    -The Ad Wizard Who Came Up With This One

  15. I’m glad they got a lot of use out of those set grapes. And, ewww.

  16. Oh good, this needed more subtext:

  17. The Shrek pictures seem completely unrelated to the models, like they were just added in randomly. Someone had this idea for the photoshoot? Can you even call it that? “Ok, stare ahead lustily. Ya, express your interest in that cgi ogre, that’s it.”

  18. I would pay to see Ke$ha get it on w Shrek. Garbage Monster + Ogre = Good Times

  19. I don’t get it.

  20. Libby Smith likes this

  21. What? Why are there ogre babies in this “sexy” photoshoot? Don’t bring babies into this gross orgy VMen Magazine!

  22. I always thought Shrek looked like a booger person.

  23. Fashion!

  24. Posing a Threat!

    because Flight of the Conchords.

  25. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  26. So Shrek is going to show me how to train my dragon?

  27. Photoshoot Headline: “Crowded, With a Chance of My Balls.”
    Downvotes ahoy.

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