Sex and the City 2: The Cradle of Life trailer, you guys:

Personally, as someone who is not a HUGE fan of Sex and the City (whaaaaat?!), I found this trailer, like the last trailer, mostly indecipherable and had to look up the synopsis on IMDB:

Set in medieval Persia, the story of an adventurous prince who teams up with a rival princess to stop an angry ruler from unleashing a sandstorm that could destroy the world. Which is why after the prince was tricked by a dying Vizier to unleash the Sands of Time that turns out to destroy a kingdom and transforms its populace into ferocious demons. In his effort to save his own kingdom and redeem his fatal mistake, it’s up to the prince and the princess to return the sands to the hourglass by using the Dagger of Time, which also gives him a limited control over the flow of time.

I guess that sounds pretty cool (and if there is one thing that I think when I think of Sex and the City it is “pretty cool”). Not sure how the middle-aged-woman-fashion-show-that-is-realistic-and-definitely-how-fashion-shows-work comes into play, but I suppose they have to keep some surprises for the theater.

Comments (74)
    • In this situation, the microphone represents our souls, as Carrie (played by Colbert) clutches it tight in her chitinous claw, trying to drag it to the pits of Tartarus.

  1. If that’s the plot synopsis I have a feeling my girlfriend will be disappointed

  2. This movie needs to get date raped.

    What? I thought we could say things like that now.

    Fine. I’ll see myself out.

  3. Steve Winwood is totally the Vizier of our group, always buying expensive shoes and unleashing the sands of time.

  4. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

    I am going to see this for Liza Minelli preforming ‘Single Ladies’.

  5. Don’t you hate it when you spend like 15 years of your life chasing this one man, then decided life isn’t spicy enough because Penelope Cruz is in the room, plus your gay bff is marrying Liza Minnelli? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve decided, “fuck it, I going to Arabia, maybe ruin my marriage and the marriage of my old boyfriend all the while saying cliches like”We’re not in Kansas any more”. Oh and aren’t kids the wurst?

  6. cool, it looks pretty good.

    I mean, it might be a little “2 Sex 2 City” (DuBAI!) But I’m going.

  7. After all the werewolves and vampires, it’s nice to finally see a sexy mummy movie.

  8. “having kids is hard, i would know, my nanny told me.”

  9. You see, the thing is, Kim Cattrall’s character is good at swallowing things! From having sex with lots of men! lmao! Diamonds and Cocktails!

  10. You left out the hacky sack.

  11. The back-rubs of modern Rom-Com does nothing to fix my heart disease.

    Gov’t, I need a new treatment plan, pronto. Hollywood Czar, I’m looking at you.

  12. Man, I can’t believe they made a sequel to Marmaduke without the first one even being released yet.

    The CGI talking dogs look way more realistic in this one though.

  13. Please please please let there be a terrorist sub-plot that blows even one of them up.

  14. I cannot describe how profoundly this trailer fails to appeal to any of my interests.

  15. Only one word crosses my mind concerning this movie:

    Necessary.

  16. The Mummy 4: 4 Mummies

  17. needs more eggplant

  18. I know how stupid and necessary this movie is, but I will still see it. I’ll probably like it too. I have a feeling some other lady monsters would agree.

  19. Personally, I think Abu Ghraib is a terrible choice in setting this film.

  20. What are those tall sand creatures in Mario Bros called and do they make a cameo in this movie?

  21. This is the first real step toward mending the rift between The United States and the Middle East.

  22. It’s like a Bollywood romantic comedy, but without the musical numbers and attractive women.

  23. Gimme’s not going to be too happy about this.

  24. Sex and the City 2: Grandmas in Heat

  25. ew. i’m in the middle of watching rockabilly vampire and this still somehow managed to look more ridiculous.

  26. Who paid for this all-expenses paid trip to Abu Dhabi? And why? And why don’t they stop making these movies? What could come next? SATC3: Space Sex in Space City – Carrie Me to the Moon? STOP

  27. It’s a sign of the great trailer when it feels twice as long as the film it’s advertising (and by “great” i mean “bad”)

  28. Wait… Has no one made this joke?

    Sex and the City 2: Lawrence of a Labia

    • Well, thats it for me. I’m gonna go spend the rest of the day vomiting bile. Enjoy the monsters ball, everyone!

    • Sex and the City 2: Black Hawk Down

    • I am embarassed to admit this (though in my defense, my friend really wanted to see this and I went with her because she was pregnant and tired and hadn’t gone out of the house in a long time and wanted some mindless entertainment so I went along for the chance to see her) but I saw this movie, and Samantha (of course) says something about some dude being “Lawrence of my labia”

  29. so long will they be a little people, a silly people, greedy, barbarous, and cruel, as you are…also with sparkly studded jackets and really expensive shoes…

  30. You mean this isn’t a prequel to The Golden Girls? I was WAY off!

  31. I guess they’re saving Ron Livingston for the final episode of the SatC trilogy…

  32. DID YOU GUYS SEE MILEY CYRUS AT 2:14!!!!??:!?!:!l?:!l#@l##@#@

    whoahhhh ok I’ll take it to the Teen Korner

  33. This looks pretty absurd but I’m sure I’ll give in and end up seeing it with my girlfriends. Although I may have to go in disguise out of shame… perhaps a “blinged-out” and metallic hijab will do the trick.

    • You may want to go full-on niqab, in case anyone recognizes your clothes/eyeballs. You can still have it covered with genuine CZs, just make sure they spell out someone else’s initials.

  34. I’ll only see this is Charlotte shits her pants again.

  35. Well this film sure seems to offer plenty of appeal to women, but shouldn’t it offer a little something for the men? It’s what all fair and balanced films should do. Why, in the glorious early to mid-nineties Van Damme renaissance, each of those classics had lots of kicking (for the mens) and lots of gratuitous Van Damme ass-shots (for the femmes). Everyone was happy.

  36. HEY GUYS
    GUESS WHOSE BROTHER APPEARS IN THIS TRAILER

  37. You’d never know Kim Catrall was 68 years old under all that make-up. Movie magic will allow her to play a whore forever!

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