Ellen DeGeneres was the clue on a recent episode of Family Feud, and some of the important and very well known facts that the family knew about her were so obvious and well known that actually this clip is really boring because they just nail it with stuff we all know about her for sure. From TheDailyWhat:

Hmmm. I do not know why Poppa Bear got the buzzer for “Doesn’t Like Our Country Very Much.” That is a pretty well known Ellen Fun Fact. And if you walk into any Narnes and Bobles you will find at least four tell-all books about Ellen’s renowned love and caring for her mother. (My personal favorite: Mommy Carest: The Ellen Degeneres And Her Mom Story.) A rare miss, Family Feud buzzer. But here is an interesting list of other Ellen Fun Facts you might not but probably do know:

  • Ellen Degeneres rolls her own cigars.
  • Ellen Degeneres owns four Spanish bodegas in Brooklyn
  • Ellen Degeneres once broke a mermaid’s heart
  • Ellen Dengeres holds the world record in Katamari Damacy
  • Ellen Degeneres spent a large part of the ’80s in a KGB splinter cell doing “wet work”
  • Ellen Degeneres has a secretary named Rosie O’Donnell, Rosie O’Donnell has a secretary named Ellen Degeneres
  • Ellen Degerenes was the person who thought up the duck phone for Jersey Shore
  • Ellen Degeneres hates bonnets in particular, and ribbons in general

Ugh. I’m sorry. I know how boring it is to read an entire list of things that everyone already knows. (Although that does give me a really good idea for a version of the Harper’s Index but for Duh Aficionado magazine.) The good news is that there aren’t any other facts about Ellen Degeneres. I listed them all. I’ve got a feeling this post is just going to have zero comments whatsover because everyone’s going to be like, “Stumped.”

ENDNOTE: so many points to Ellen for the look of nervous hopefulness and muted anticipatory applause just waiting to see if “Doesn’t Like Our Country Very Much” ends up on the big board. A true competitor.
Comments (146)
  1. Ellen DeGeneres can speak whale.

  2. - Ellen Degeneres is superstitious: Whenever she starts a new season she kills a hobo with a hammer.

  3. Ellen DeGeneres is a never-nude.

  4. Ellen DeGeneres eats entire apples, core and all.

  5. ellen degeneres and bill brasky compete against each other in an annual drinking contest.

  6. Ellen Degeneres met Portia De Rossi when they both came dressed as Hikaru Sulu at ComiCon

  7. Ellen DeGeneres is a hairdresser in Hollywood and she hates purple gift wrap

  8. Ellen DeGeneres can tie a breathtaking double windsor knot.

  9. does this ruin the chance we’ll see The Ellen DeGeneres Personal Trivia Hour?

  10. “Ellen DeGeneres doesn’t care about black people.”- Kanye West

  11. The current Ellen DeGeneres is an alien copy grown from a lock of the original Ellen’s hair, like Jeff Bridges in Starman.

  12. Ellen Degeneres once had a side business training marmosets to find and devour foods which contain gluten.

  13. Ellen DeGeneres keeps a mystical “seer stone” in the heel of her left Chuck. She uses it to help Portia find lost earrings.

  14. Where the fuck have I been? Louie Anderson was the host of Family Feud last time I paid attention.

    • Was that before or after Al from Home Improvement hosted? I need a Family Feud timeline…

    • From the Wikipedia page of Louie Anderson (what?? I was interested! Don’t look at me like that!)

      “In 1997, Anderson was blackmailed by a 31-year-old man named Richard John Gordon. Gordon extorted money from Anderson, threatening to reveal to tabloids that Anderson approached him in a casino requesting sexual acts in 1993.
      Anderson initially paid Gordon $100,000 in hush money, fearing the story would threaten his starring roles in two family-oriented series, but when Gordon’s demands increased to $250,000 in 2000, he informed law-enforcement authorities. Gordon was arrested and sentenced to 21 months in prison, a $4,000 fine, and 3 years probation.”

  15. Ellen Degeneres is the only person to finish TWO 76 oz steaks at The Big Texan in Amarillo, TX.

  16. Ellen DeGeneres shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

  17. Ellen DeGeneres is constantly exhausted due to her strong belief in nihilism.

  18. Ellen DeGeneres is in for 50s and looks amazing. Am I doing this right?

  19. Ellen DeGeneres knows exactly how magnets work.

  20. Ellen DeGeneres is the “she” who said all those “that’s”.

  21. Ellen Degeneres originally acted under the stage name ‘Margaret Thibodeaux, Lady of Baton Rouge’

  22. Speaks Esperanto

  23. Ellen DeGeneres’ girlfriend Portia De Rossi is very pretty

  24. The film ‘She’s All That’ is loosely based on Ellen’s high school experiences.

  25. Ellen DeGeneres has beautiful eyes!

  26. Ellen DeGeneres’ staff includes a warlock who collects nematodes and rooster’s toes.

  27. All Ellen Degeneres got for her work in Mr. Wrong was a piece of string and a box of mallomars

  28. Ellen DeGeneres once beat Chuck Norris in a fake fact off.

  29. Ellen frequently travels to England with her friends, and while there, she refers to them as “lorries”.

  30. it’s worse than she doesn’t like our country very much. she doesn’t like our country very *well*. ugh x 2.

  31. “Something that everybody knows about Ellen Degeneres”

    “Ellen Degeneres is Owen Wilson”

  32. Ellen DeGeneres was a master woodworker, but has vowed to never again practice carpentry after her Pomeranian was killed in a lathe accident last Spring.

  33. Ellen Degeneres developed a topical scalp moisturizer which caused Jeremy Piven to lose his hair while co-starring with her on the set of ‘Ellen’. He has never forgiven her for this.

  34. We all know that it is true that PEOPLE like Ellen really do HATE our country….you know people like Ellen…blondes.

  35. Uh, Gabe? I’m sorry but you got one of those facts wrong. Gosh, this is embarrassing… It’s actually me who holds the world record in Katamary Damacy? I don’t mean to rub it in or anything, just wanted to get things straight, you know?

  36. Ellen Degeneres has two stomachs

  37. That’s me on the right. And THAT’S my boyfriend. Not any of the weirdos you regularly post about. A real prince, actually.

  38. Ellen Degeneres…Stumped.

  39. Ellen DeGeneres coined the phrase ‘Don’t Have a Cow’ at a brunch with Matt Groening in 1982

  40. Ellen DeGeneres once beat Oprah in thumb-wrestling nine (nine!) times in a row, and has since been always willing to explain to anyone who asks the meaning of the phrase “Hell hath no fury like a Winfrey scorned.”

  41. Ellen DeGeneres can divide by zero.

    • I don’t wanna be known as the math nerd around here(I believe I have previously mentioned on this site that I was captain of the Mathletes in HS) but these divide by zero jokes are misguided. Its not that its impossible to divide by zero, its just that it produces unpredictable results, so to keep math functioning neatly its arbitrarily forbidden. So if anything Ellen’s dividing by zero is not a sign of great power but rather great disregard for producing reliable mathematical results. Hmm… I’m starting to think I do wanna be known as king math nerd of vgum.

      • Shut up, nerd!

        That was a joke. I don’t think you should shut up. Also, I did know that, but I still think divide by zero jokes are funny. Remember in middle school and elementary school when teachers are always yelling things at you like, “DO NOT DIVIDE BY ZERO! YOU CANNOT DIVIDE BY ZERO!” Well, I do. Sometimes it’s hard to let things go.

  42. Ellen DeGeneres hates it when people drink directly out of the carton. Like, if she’s in the house with someone and they’re sitting up here sharing this motherfucking milk, why the fuck do they think that they can just put their mouth all up on it and just drink that shit?

  43. Ellen DeGeneres is highly trained in the art of gymkata

  44. Ellen Degeneres’ nemesis is Corbin Bernsen–a feud stemming from Ellen’s insidious and unrelenting schemes to destroy the All-American Soap Box Derby by constantly loaning it money that it will never be able to repay.

  45. Ellen DeGeneres believes in motherfucking miracles. And she really liked The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess.

  46. A rider in Ellen DeGeneres’ contract stipulates that 14 Oh Henry bars must be hidden throughout her dressing room before the taping of each show.

  47. Ellen DeGeneres had LOST figured out by the end of the second season.

  48. Ellen DeGeneres can only make long distance calls on a rotary phone.
    Ellen DeGeneres embosses her own chocolate bars.
    Ellen DeGeneres has an Etsy store.

  49. Ellen DeGeneres was Tiger Woods’ 17th mistress. (We’re up to 17, right?)

  50. 90′s pop sensation Sisquó was inspired to write ‘The Thong Song’ after encountering Ellen DeGeneres at a Ft. Lauderdale Spring Break party in 1997.

  51. Ellen DeGeneres is the Origami Killer.

  52. Ellen DeGeneres attends every Fido Dido fan meetup listed on meetup.com

  53. Ellen DeGeneres is a horrible fake name.

  54. ellen was an original member of the wu-tang clan.

  55. I don’t know if anyone’s noticed how that last girl said “She’s married” as if the word “married” is an epithet, particularly if said person is gay. If you replace the word “married” with the words “rapist, so keep her away from your children,” the tone would be more appropriate.

    By the way, I’ll be waiting for someone to reply with, “Ellen DeGeneres is a rapist, so keep her away from your children.”

  56. Ellen DeGeneres say Harper’s Index fuck that! Vanity Fair Proust Questionnaire baby!

    (Ellen DeGeneres has a subscription to Vanity Fair just like that other poster)

  57. Ellen DeGeneres understands how magnets work

  58. Ellen DeGeneres likes to sing “Bad Romance” in her underwear.

    • No, you’re thinking of me. And I’m usually not wearing underwear.

      Coincidentally, Nick Sparks likes to write “Bad Romance (novels)” in his panties. BOOM.

  59. Ellen DeGeneres once founded a webjunk/comedy website and fooled everyone into thinking it was a young male stand-up comedian from Brooklyn. She also has a copyright on the terms “Monsters”, “Juggalos”, and “Gwyneth Paltrow”.

  60. Ellen used to stand up in front of people sitting down and say things that were false but that had an element of truth, which qualified them as a special kind of discourse people called “stand-up comedy.”

  61. Ellen DeGeneres has acheived perfect caffination.

  62. Ellen DeGeneres has a picture of a straight guy in her wallet.

  63. Ellen DeGeneres starred in “Mr. Wrong”. Which I have been nominating for “TWMOAT” for a year!

  64. Ellen DeGeneres doesn’t deserve to have assholes decide that she doesn’t like America. She’s about as controversial as a fucking hummingbird- has she ever said anything, ever, about not liking America? Anything remotely like that?- and this guy decides that she must be an America-hater.

    You can be a completely sweet, generous, uncontroversial comic who never ever gets involved in politics, but being gay makes you less than a full citizen. Less than a real American. Actually anti-American. Because she’s gay. You know he would never say the same thing about a straight performer who eschewed politics.

    Fuck that guy. You know, this really gets under my skin.

  65. Ellen DeGeneres has video monitors in her dressing room where she watches the crowd pre-show and judges them as they dance around. One time, and this is true, Zach Galifianakis was in the crowd but refused to dance, and Ellen wanted him kicked out.

  66. Gabe, there are no points involved in Katamari Damacy. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must return to my Sadness Dome.

    • Yes but you’re rated on size or time depending on which mode you play. My old roommate and I used to try and beat each others records all the time. That is until Ellen DeGeneres came over and dominated all our records and then spouted anti-American ramblings as she slammed our front door.

      • Oh dear, Zzyzx. For unexplainable and slightly concerning reasons, I actually read this entire comment as a setup for a TWSS that never came. It is still very strange, but very hilarious to me to re-read this with overtones of sexual innuendo…

        But I’m still not sure what the ‘slamming’ of the ‘front door’ is a euphenism for…

        • I never noticed but the first sentence would be a great set-up for a TWSS joke so I can see how you might think that.
          Anyway I went to the home of all things euphemism that we all know and love, the Urban Dictionary( http://www.urbandictionary.com ), and unfortunately “slamming the front door”. On the fortunate side though that means the “meaning” of “slamming the front door” is anyone’s to come up with as well as ownership to the accompanying fetish website. I have no idea what it could mean, but I am sick and since my Friday is empty of plans I will try and come up with one.

  67. Ellen loves hip hop groupie tell-alls and gave the “status galley” (because only the Top Dawgz in Entertainment got advanced copies of this) of Kat Stacks’ autHOEbiography rave reviews.

  68. Ellen DeGeneres loves to submit sexual euphemisms to The Urban Dictionary. She hates when someone already came up with the exact same one as her

  69. Ellen DeGeneres always finds the best threads a week to late.

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