Oh, OK. Now I see. The reason we were supposed to be surprised last week when it was revealed that Desmond was “the package” is because of how Ben shot him. I actually did forget about that. But to be fair (to me?), the only reason it was assumed that Desmond’s reappearance would be a shocking surprise is because we were supposed to assume that he had been killed when Ben shot him. Uh, haha, no. It turns out that my secret package (yuck) is HAVING WATCHED TV BEFORE. Did anyone actually think Desmond was dead? No one did, right? Well, maybe people who have never watched a TV show, or seen a movie, or read a comic book, or read any kind of book whatsoever actually, or just had any kind of adult interaction with a structured narrative would have been like “Desmond, wha?! But he what that diiiiiied!” But even for those people, you have to assume that if this is their first experience of fictional narrative, they have BIGGER PROBLEMS ON THEIR PLATE than Desmond. (If anyone reading this is one of these people who has never watched or seen or read anything before Lost, I want to assure you that not everything is smoke monsters and nonsense side universes.)

So, Desmond. He is awake. Widmore is like, I’m so sorry that I had to do this to you, but I assure you that your wife and son are safe, but, um, OK, so, like, the thing is, uh, we’re back on the island? Desmond is like IV STAND TO THE DOME!

Widmore’s henchmen pull Desmond off (that is what Widmore said) and restrain him. I like how last week Jin tried to simply walk out of a room and got straight TAZED but this week you can smash a senior citizen in the face with a metal rod and they have to treat you with respect. Widmore is like, “The island isn’t done with you yet.” Haha. Oh man. If I was Desmond, I would be so pissed. Because I am pretty sure the island was done with him. Like, he and the island seemed to be totally fine going about their separate business. He wasn’t pulling a Jack and melting his face off with whiskey tears, crisscrossing the Earth in Business Class. Widmore drugged him and locked him in a submarine and brought him to the island. ANYWAY. It is time for the test!

Wait, what test?

Jin is like, “Wait, what test?” Widmore is like, “It will be easier to show you than to tell you.” Uh, SPOILER ALERT: no it won’t. You should tell him! Just tell him! We will just stand back and listen to you tell him! Because at the end of this episode, having been shown, I am still so confused!

Zoe (ugh, Zoe) is like “that test isn’t scheduled until tomorrow.” HAHAHAH. These guys cannot keep to a timetable! First Zoe fucked up the timetable for “War with Locke” and now they’re abandoning the test schedule? (Which Widmore of course pronounces shedjoole.) I would hate to see how these guys mess up BRUNCH.

Anyway, it’s too early for the test! The test wasn’t shedjooled until tomorrow! This fat nerd is losing his mind:

One anonymous henchman walks into the generator room to fix…a generator, and some other henchman is like “Oh, I think we have full power, I should definitely just throw this switch.” The generator room starts….generating, and the henchman inside is getting tossed around. Zoe is like “Turn those switches off!” and the other henchman is like “These switches?” And Zoe is like “Turn them off!” And he’s like “These switches? I want to make sure I don’t turn off the wrong switches.” Forever this guy. Very thorough. So he turns them off and they cart the dead henchman’s body out of the generator room right as they are bringing Desmond in. Good work, everyone. Next time you guys are going to take a submarine to a time traveling paranormal island that isn’t on any maps, BRING SOME WALKIE TALKIES SO YOU CAN AVOID THESE KINDS OF MISTAKES.

They put Desmond into a chair in the generator room and lock the door. Well, first they kick him in the chest and elbow him in the spine. THEN they put him in the chair. One of the henchmen asks if he has any metal in his pockets, or any metal implants. “Of course he doesn’t, you idiot,” Widmore says. Haha, what an idiot that guy was for asking that question. Jin, apparently, is just like “I have GOT to see this,” because he doesn’t do shit.

Desmond gets out of the chair. The fat nerd is like “Initiate test,” or something. The generators are like, “Stargate!”

The computers are like, “We look ridiculous!”

And then clouds. FALCOOOOOOOR! And then Desmond is standing in the Bizarro Los Angeles Airport, staring for way too long at the baggage claim screen. Desmond, just read the sign already! Hurley tells him that their luggage is on Carousel 4. I WONDER IF THAT MEANS ANYTHING! Seriously, this show is starting to drive me crazy. Every detail is supposed to be meaningful, but then every thing that is meaningful is casually explained away. I know this guy is somebody, right?

I’m 67 years old, and Lostipedia sounds like what my doctor says when we are discussing my prostate. Will some nerd tell me who that is? Whatever, the important thing is that in Bizarro LA, Desmond works for Widmore, and they are lovers.


But Desmond and Widmore hate each other! How can they like each other! Everything is upside downsies! Unfortunately, their celebration over the closing of the Australian deal will have to wait. Fine with me. I don’t even know what the Australian deal is. You see, Widmore’s wife is putting together one of her charity events (you know how she is), and Widmore’s son (HIS WHAAAAT?!) is a musician, and he had the idea to combine classical music with modern rock. NOW THAT IS WHAT I CALL A SURPRISING TWIST! Has Desmond ever heard of a band called Drive Shaft? HAS HE EVER!

Desmond goes to pick up Charlie from jail, but Charlie just ignores him and walks straight to a bar across the street. You all every JERK. Desmond follows him and they both sit down for a glass of whiskey. It turns out that in the Bizarro Alternate Universe, you don’t get very much whiskey in your glass!

There is almost no whiskey in that glass of whiskey! Charlie explains to Desmond that he thinks he has it all (money, a suit) but he doesn’t have it all, because he doesn’t have love. OH JESUS CHRIST. Desmond is like “What’s love?” I mean, basically. Charlie explains that when he was dying from swallowing all that heroin (obvs), he saw Claire (watching him die?) and knew that they were together, even though she was a stranger. OK, that is odd. But that is also not love? Charlie is confused about what love is. It is not sweaty near-death heroin-balloon-caught-in-the-throat panic visions. Anyway, Desmond is like, “Love does sound pretty nice. But I have to take you to a luxury hotel.” They get in the car, and this is what I was talking about earlier, about how this show is constantly trying to sneak in Easter eggs for the super fans to the point of it driving me crazy. They lingered so long on this shot of a dude on the pier, that I thought he was important.

Not important.

Anyway, Charlie pulls a Michael Douglas in The Game and yanks the steering wheel of the car so that it goes into the ocean (he is very strong for a half-drunk heroin addict who just almost died) because he wants to “show” Desmond. While they are underwater, Desmond has a flash and sees Charlie’s hand from Season 3 about Penny’s boat, but he doesn’t know who Penny is.

Then they are in the hospital, and Desmond is getting an MRI, which is just like the generator room! Except with less kicks to the chest and elbows to the spine. And also with less dead bodies being dragged out on his way in. When he’s in the MRI machine he sees Penny, and he rushes out in his smock to find Charlie.

First he runs into Jack, but as usual, Jack doesn’t know anything.


Go home, Jack, you’re drunk.

Charlie comes running out in his smock, Disorderlies-style.

Desmond confronts him about the visions he’s having. Charlie is like “you felt it too!” And thus begins the disgusting trend on this week’s episode of people talking about “feeling it.” If the feeling is hot barf spilling all over your stomach from your frowning face, then I am feeling it, too, guys! Hey guys! Charlie refuses to go with Desmond to the rock concert because none of this matters. “All that matters is that we felt it.” STOP PLEASE! Desmond asks where Charlie is going, and Charlie says if he was Desmond, he’d stop worrying about Charlie and start looking for Penny. OK, so, to do heroin? Charlie is going to do a bunch of heroin.

At Widmore’s castle, which I think he has left over from his marriage to Julie Cooper, we finally meet “Mrs. Widmore.”


She seems surprised to see Desmond, but plays it off and acts surprised that they haven’t met before. And then she says “it’s about time,” because the writers of this show are very talented. She isn’t upset that Drive Shaft isn’t coming to her charity event. That’s amazing! Two seconds ago we were led to believe that she is angry about everything! On his way out, though, Desmond overhears two party planners going over the guest list and hears the name Penny, and when he starts to ask questions, THAT is when Mrs. Widmore gets angry. She claims that the guest list is confidential. And then she kicks everyone out. She tells Desmond to stop asking questions. And says that it is “a violation.” And reminds him that he has the perfect life, because he…has her husband’s approval?! And then she says he isn’t ready. WHUUUUUT?! Also, this is hilarious:

And also this is hilarious:

Relax, Lost. We know. Shhhh. We know. IT’S DANIEL FARADAY!

Or whatever he’s called now. Mr. Cool Hat. He was the son the whole time! You guys probably got confused because you thought Faraday was a scientist, and you were like “there is no way that he is a musician.” NO RULES. So Faraday, who, you will remember, is Desmond’s constant, and vice versa, tells him that he has also felt it (the barf), and shows him his quantum physics dream journal, and explains that he set off a nuclear bomb one time. Oh, and Penny is his half-sister. NOW WE ARE COOKING. WITH BOMBS.

Desmond goes to have his first meeting with Penny, where she is jogging at the empty stadium, just like how Desmond used to be jogging at the empty stadium! With his old buddy, Jack! Jack used to go there just to clear his mind. Get it? YOU CAN STOP RUNNING NOW, JACK, IT’S CLEAR. Penny and Desmond meet, and they are both just really feeling it, I’m sure, and then–

How many universes am I holding up?

Desmond opens his eyes, and he is back on the floor of the generator room. Everyone comes in and is really surprised that he is still alive, which is kind of hilarious. Wasn’t the point of the test to prove that Desmond would be alive? It should not be that surprising. If you are that surprised that Desmond survived the test, maybe you should have not gone through with the test. “How long was I out?” Desmond asks. “A matter of seconds,” Widmore says. “Hey, wait a second!” the makers of the Jodie Foster movie Contact say. Anyway, Desmond is ready to help the island. Awesome. Thank you, Desmond!

Then Sayid comes out of nowhere and karate chops a dude and points a gun at Zoe and tells her to run. Oh, Sayid, don’t you know anything about dramatic tension? It’s just like what Chekov said: if there is a gun pointed at Zoe in the first act, the gun must go off in Zoe’s face by the third. Oh well. Sayid is like, “Desmond, you have to come with me,” and Desmond is like, “of course I do.”

Back in Bizarro LA, Desmond wakes up in the empty stadium, where he suddenly passed out. And so he immediately makes a coffee date with Penny. Sure. It’s a classic lesson from Master Pick Up Artist, Mystery: “Wear a pair of binoculars around your face, ask her if she saw the fight outside, and then pass out.” Desmond gets into the limo and asks the driver if he can get him the manifest of Oceanic Flight 815, because he has something he wants to show his fellow passengers. Ooooh! That is exciting. They are all going to FEEL IT. Although, the driver should probably not be so quick to say that he is going to get Desmond the manifest? Those are really hard to get, I think. You can’t just log onto airplanemanifestfinder.org and download a PDF. Whatever. I’m sure he knows a Manifest Guy who can help them out.

Comments (160)
  1. I’m just curious to see how Johnny Five fits into all of this…

    • Thank you. Fisher Stevens’s horrible Indian caricature is truly the Mickey Rooney-in-Breakfast-at-Tiffany’s of our generation.

      • True fact: Fisher Stevens has never seen an episode of The Simpsons because he is convinced that Hank Azaria’s Apu is a direct ripoff of Ben Jabituya. Haha: Jabituya!!! Geeeenius.

  2. It isn’t a true season of Lost without some nerd losing his shit at some point (looking at you Radzinsky)

  3. This episode clearly built the way for the newest LOST spin off starring Desmond and Charlie called, “Get Him to the Looking Glass Station”

  4. Did I see a different episode than you, Gabe?

  5. I was waiting for Desmond to turn into Dr. Manhattan.

    Ok, in my crazy rabid lost fan view this was a really good one. One of the best of the season. I had been disappointed but this just made me so much happier. I don’t fucking get anything but at least the pace is being seriously picked up.

    So, good episode! Also Lost always does that stupid shit where they show the back of a character’s head and for some reason they think this will shock the nerds that watch it (who won’t remember them?) then there’s that BIG MUSIC REVELATION OF SHOCK.

    ps – #KILLZOEPLEASE I can’t take her anymore goddamnit Sayid

  6. I’ve actually not seen a single episode of Lost in like 3 or 4 years, but I will say that the descriptions of it make is sound very much like watching it is akin to having a job as a detective in a weird universe where god keeps burning all your evidence. And coming up with new leads for you to chase.

    • Basically. And I can’t tell you how much of a nerd I feel like talking about it but I don’t care.

      Actually it’s more akin to being a detective in a weird universe filled with petulant children who repeat the same phrases (yet you still love them.) And then you get that gratifying answer that you’re pretty sure will solve almost everything and it just gets ripped out from under you. You can never win in Lost’s game.

  7. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • Supernerds may recall from last season when Faraday is straight-up murdered by his mom, then born, then pushed away from his first love (music) toward quantum physics so that he can learn to be Desmond’s constant and travel back in time to be killed by his mom, 12 Monkeys stizz.

      I’ll show myself out.

  8. That’s George! He is the guy on the freighter that was going crazy because he was time traveling but didn’t have a constant. I think he died in the real (real?) universe.

  9. I don’t understand how no one “Gets it”
    Faraday played piano in the Regular universe, before he had to stop (At his Mom’s [Eloise Hawking] urging). He was destined for more.
    Feeling it is a reference to their old existence – the bleed over effect from the timeline splits created by the incident.

    As far as the memory bleed-through via electromagnetism, I am going to default to Messrs. Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J.

    • My questions are really if the island sunk how did people get off the island? Also a big thing is HOW DOES ELOISE KNOW EVERYTHING. Her hair is full of so many secrets.

      • Something tells me that Eloise and Charles Widmore are still the power couple from the islands past, and they are its protectors. Same holds for the original timeline, where both interfere in Desmond and Faradays lives for the sake of the island struggle we are seeing play out.
        Similarly, Ben is a useful, willing pawn, and helped Widmore with his Des issue in an attempt to go back to the island himself.
        The island sunk or was moved back around the time of the incident in the new timeline, perhaps in a bid to prevent such an incident (which is proving to be CONFOUNDEDLY CONFUSING for some of us) from ever occurring. We will likely find the answer to this in the finale(s).

        • Yea, I’m running on two hours of sleep so right now my brain isn’t functioning like it should so talking about Lost is extra difficult. Seeing how they’re going to play out these two timelines is making me antsy.

      • Simple- Eloise is the ghost of Ann Richards. Ann knows everything.

    • Yeah, Eloise (? maybe?) gave everyone the lives they truly wanted. Their ~~one true wish~~ or whatever. In this universe she didn’t force Faraday to become a physicist, because he didn’t have to go to the island then go back in time in the island and then die.

      • I think since the island is sunk that means Flockeness Monster is loose on the sideways world and he’s created a matrix style reality. Eloise knows about it (because somehow she always knows stuff) and she’s trying to keep order.

        Minds officially blown. You’re welcome.

      • Maybe (this is a theory I saw at ontd_lost) she knows everything that happens and she knew she killed her son so she’s trying to do the best for him.

  10. I guess Faraday and Jenny Humphrey use the same mail-order hats catalog.

  11. I still have no idea what is going on, but I loved every second of this episode.

    “Why are you accosting a man in a dressing gown?”

    • Also, last season they showed Desmond alive in the hospital after Ben shot him.

      • Yes, I hung onto that memory. If I didn’t have the hope that Desmond and Penny would still be together, I don’t know if I’d have kept watching the show. I’m only partly kidding.

  12. Can someone please explain to me why I’ve always thought Widmore and Eloise were brother and sister?

  13. So, it seems like ‘love’ is what transcends the realities, right? What does it mean, then, that Jack recognized Desmond on the plane?

  14. the foreshadowing aka FARADAY VISION was my favorite part. I want faraday’s silhouette looking out into all of my favorite tv shows.

  15. i loved this episode despite the barf-factor because i love penn-ay! and desmond!!!!!!!!!!

  16. They should have sent a poet, bruth-a.

  17. “A flight manifest? Are you sure? I mean, I could get you a prostitute. That’s what most people ask for.”- The Driver

  18. The Plague from Hackers really made this episode for me.

  19. I don’t care if it was cheesy. I love Desmond. Yesterday was my birthday and I’m pretty sure the makers of LOST found out and made me an episode about my favorite character as a thank you for being born and watching their show.

  20. Last night when I heard Widmoore say “schedule” in his British accent I KNEW Gabe would comment on it. I love not being disappointed.

  21. also: claire really messed up by not accepting a ride with desmond, her day would’ve been a lot less fucking crazy if she had just accepted that creepy ride with a stranger.

  22. that’s who we are…..


  23. I didn’t like it. When the hobbit grabbed the wheel Desmond could have taken his foot off the gas and hit the brake. The hobbit’s hand on the window reference to that episode where he died was lame sauce

  24. Okay, this episode was pretty awesome, Desmond is the greatest, “Not Penny’s boat”, blah blah blah, but tell me, Videogum – where do I recognize the fat nerd from? I swear to God he’s been in a bunch of other things, but I can’t place him.

  25. I already knew that Fisher Stevens was going to be on tonight’s episode because I read it in my Early Edition.

    • Coach Taylor before he was Coach Taylor. And also a crazy cat before the internet made cats famous. And, also, I clearly have always watched a lot of television.

  26. This is the greatest Lost mystery of all: Why is everyone’s (re: DDK and Naveen) accent so poor lately? Probably the island.

  27. I think if you collect all the Lost episodes about Desmond–and eliminate the rest–we’d have one of the best television shows in history.

    Desmond and Penny forever!

  28. Who else screamed when Faraday said “We need to talk”, because I basically giggle screamed out of this world.

  29. Cue Foreigner: I wanna know what love is, I waaaaaant you to shooow meeee

    I still liked the episode. Despite the cheese factor.

  30. Charlie in his smock reminds me of MY BOYFRIEND, the Quarantine Rapper. Only obviously less clever and adorable.

  31. “JuJu- I want the McMansion Castle.” — (Caleb Nichol) Widmore.

    What’s with this guy playing “bitter old miserable man” character in everything?

  32. hey you guys know who Zoe really looks like? call me crazy but

  33. I didn’t think Desmond was dead because there was an entire scene in the hospital after Ben shot him in which he told Penny he’d never leave her. Whoops! Your nose is bleeding, Gabe!

    • I also love that Gabe failed to realize that the lingering shot of the harbor was, indeed, the same harbor that Ben shot Desmond, but managed to tie in a reference from such fine television shows as “The O.C.” and “The Pickup Artist.”

  34. Both Ab Aeterno and last night’s episode (even The Package to a certain extent) are really tying in all the previously splattered elements together. I’m starting to feel that the season is coming to a head and that everything is about to go apeshit. It really fits into the traditional dramatic narrative structure. Next week’s episode is supposed to be the closing of the second act (where the shit, as expected, hits the fan). I’m invigorated people! MY NIPPLES ARE HARD AND I’M JUICED UP. LET’S DO THIS SHIT.

    • At this point, I’m going to be downright mad if things don’t go totally insane. We’ve only got a few hours left together, “Lost”! LET’S GET CRAZY!

  35. okay so

    I noticed and commented here a few weeks ago, that the alt-universe’s characteristics definitely were in line with what the Losties greatest hopes and dreams were. Sayid had Nadiyah, Jack had a son, Locke had Helen, Hurley had good luck, etc.. and now Desmond has Widmore’s approval. Which are also in line with the things that Smokey would have promised them?

    also, how cool is it that Widmore isn’t a villain at all anymore? and neither is Ben! the only one left is is Smokey, and we are becoming more sympathetic with him all the time.

    I was really pissed with how obvious the writers were last night in some of the conversations last night (Carlton and Lindelof are feeling themselves a bit too much at this point)- the talk between Widmore and Desmond were soooo This Is Not How People Talk.

    but great episode. always good to see Farraday. you know, absence makes the heart grow fonder- it’s not till these characters leave that I realize how attractive they all are. Like, Keamy gave me super butterflies last week, as far as old dudes go, Mikhail is top notch, Farraday is such a cutie. except Charlie. it looks like puberty hit him worse than Walt.

    last week, it seemed like Jin and Sun were going to run into Juliet by way of her needed maternal care for the gunshot wound- now I’m thinking Desmond and Penny could meet her at the coffee shop?

  36. Um, can we talk about the fact that Daniel Faraday totally FIGURED OUT EVERYTHING in like one 90 second conversation with Desmond and HE’S NOT EVEN A PHYSICIST anymore? Like…”OK, see, I wrote this crazy awesome equation that my math friend says is super genius…so now I think we totally like set off a nuclear bomb and we’re in an alternate universe!”

    I mean, I seriously would have had a problem with this if it weren’t DANIEL FREAKING FARADAY. I think the series finale should just be Daniel Faraday explaining everything to us, since everything just comes so easily to him.

    PS: I really, really missed his skinny ties.

  37. My TV is ridiculously dark, so when they showed that shadow of Daniel at the piano, I could not differentiate between his hair and his hat- in fact, I didn’t even realize he was wearing a hat- I thought he had cat ears on.

  38. I was just thinking about the bottle metaphor, the wine being the darkness/smokey

    the first time we see alpert, he is fucking with a boat in a wine bottle, tending to it
    (kind of like what his job is! checking on the island, tending to see that the MIB is in his place)

    I’ve proposed the connection between smokey promising Losties on the Island what they want to get them to follow him- while in the alt universe the Losties are kept complacent with everything they’ve ever wanted.

    in the alt-universe, Desmond is noticeably staring at the HUGE sailboat, that is not in a bottle in Widmore’s office.

    therefore, the entire alt universe is the sailboat? it is unleashed/unhinged from the Island? clearly, widmore is there to stop smokey, but his ability to do that also has something to do with desmond’s ability to manipulate the alt universe.

    basically, I’m still floating that the Smoke Monster had a hand in creating the sideways world, or something along those lines.

    • Now I’m not saying you’re wrong, because I have a “sure, why not?” approach I have to LOST.

      Here are my thoughts-
      It’s a nice metaphor you’ve cooked up, but as far as using the metaphor as proof for a theory, there’s not much there with the ship in Widmore’s office and Richard’s ship in the bottle to prove that Smoke Monster Locke is responsible in any way (although I do feel he does have a hand in it, just like you).

      Please note that Richard was building a trading/clipper ship, much like the Black Rock, in a non-descript bottle (there’s nothing that says it’s a wine bottle, but the bottle metaphor is not limited to wine bottles since all bottles can have corks), not a sailing ship, which was in Widmore’s office. (but once again, ships be ships, so your metaphor can still work)

      I’m pretty sure the main connection implied, or the irony of Desmond admiring the sailing ship in Widmore’s office, is that in the original timeline Desmond entered that sailing race to prove Widmore wrong or whatever, ultimately dooming him to the Island for those few years, and now were seeing him in Widmore’s favor as he gazes at the instrument he wound up using in the regular timeline in a failed attempt to win it and Penny.

      • ugh, my sentence structure is as confusing as this blasted show…

        • ah! you’re right. Desmond admiring the sailboat because of his own sailboating trip in the original timeline makes much more sense. I don’t know why that flew right past my head. something told me I was jumping the walt on that one.

  39. Nobody has commented about Desmond’s amazing angry face twitch yet? Really? And no gif of it either? I feel like this guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvz1_b8Rc2c

  40. “So Faraday, who, you will remember, is Desmond’s constant, and vice versa…”

    NO GABE. Desmond is Faraday’s constant, but Desmond’s constant is Penny. It’s almost as if you haven’t watched The Constant episode 10 times!

  41. Desmond: I love you, Penny. I’ve always loved you. I’m so sorry. I love you!
    Penny: I love you too.
    Desmond: I don’t know where I am, but…
    Penny: I’ll find you, Des.
    Desmond: I promise
    Penny: – no matter what…
    Desmond: I’ll come back to you.
    Penny: I won’t give up.
    Desmond, Penny: I promise. I love you.

  42. The shot of the pier was foreshadowing, for THE VERY NEXT SCENE WHEN CHARLIE DRIVES THEM RIGHT INTO THE WATER. Also that’s the same pier where Ben found Desmond and Penny and shot Desmond, so you’re also supposed to make that connection. But you’re too busy looking for things to hate on in what was very obviously a GREAT episode of Lost, aren’t you Gabe? I think its unfortunate, but I will say that you’re definitely not the only person who seems profoundly frustrated and disappointed with this season. This show has NEVER been about answering questions. It has been about mystery itself. You could see the show as a big metaphor for so many of the big questions we all have in our daily lives that are never answered. I personally would be very disappointed if they spent the entire final season wrapping up all the mysteries instead of sticking to WHAT WORKS on this show. I really believe that we would all be seriously let down if they approached it any other way. At least I’m happy with where things are going! Boo haters!

  43. i thought it was cool how the mri guy was like, “oh right, you need the /button/!” and desmond was like “D: whatbutton??”

    i thought it was dumb how the generator worked instantly the first time it was turned out, but then when they went to turn it on for desmond, they had to tinker with buttons and knobs to get it to work.

    i didn’t think it was a secret that daniel was the son of charles and eloise. i feel like i’ve known forever, lol.

  44. Basically you guys, House of M. I’m really dumb with this show so I read a lot of commentary and the last episode had smart people talking about this X-Men series where a powerful woman goes nuts over losing her kids so she creates a new reality where everyone gets what they want and her father, Magneto, gets his wish of lording over the humans and mutants (though everyone is complacent and happy). A little girl mutant wakes a couple mutants up to this and they FEEL IT and go make everyone else FEEL IT. Then they battle with the woman and Magneto. Apparently one of the Lost writers said he was a huge huge fan.

    Desmond is supposedly the little girl mutant that wakes up everyone. Eloise is probably the powerful woman who lost her kid and manages to create an alt reality where Farahair lives happily producing tracks for Evanescence. There seems to be a weird dynamic between Widmore (who wants to stop MIB and is super scared of Eloise) and Eloise (who wants to keep alt reality going/stop Desmond/give people what they want ala MIB’s promises). This of course doesn’t help explain the candidates or Richard or the island power struggle or everything else that happened on this show in the past 5 seasons whatsoever. It also doesn’t explicitly declare that one reality/entity is evil so, whatever.

    A couple stupid things because every Lost episode has stupid things:

    If they want to duplicate the event that Des survived, which rocked the entire island and halved a plane a mile up in the air, how the hell do they contain this test of similar magnitude in a shack clearly made of wood planks?

    Also, in alt reality do women assume the creepy stranger watching them work out is definitely not out to hurt them and they should not be alert even when this stranger approaches them silently? And when this creepy stranger knows their name are they not curious why they know it or how they found them?

    • I KNOW!! And I know this is basically a billion Internet Years later, but I’m only catching up on Lost/VideogLost now and the strange-man-approaching-Penny-in-the-dark-abandoned-stadium thing struck me as scary. I mean, sure, she “recognizes” him (“have we met?”) or whatever and maybe it’s cuz a legitimately scary thing happened in my life recently with a strange man who definitely didn’t want to discuss constants so maybe I’m hyper aware of that stuff, but come on. No caution or suspicion at all that he has a weapon or otherwise intends to do harm?
      Wish *I* lived in Bizarro L.A.! Being a single gal seems so much easier there/then.

  45. The fat nerd is also Jerri Blank’s son so I can’t take him very seriously.

  46. It’s all clear to me now.

    Eloise knew she had to send her son back in time even though she knew she’d end up shooting him because he needed to convince the flight 815 passengers who were back in time to set off the nuke so that the Orchid would get screwed up and they’d have to build the hatch and Desmond would have to sail a boat and crash and push a button for years and survive the magnetic implosion event and get his visions so that he would time/dimension jump and save the world from smokeLocke. But THEN Eloise somehow somehow cultivated this imaginary universe so that Daniel wouldn’t die and she’s trying to keep him from figuring it out because she doesn’t want him to be dead from her killing him in the past later.

    HOWEVER, Meriadoc Brandybuck is seeing visions of Claire, Daniel is seeing Bloodynose the Redhead, and Desmond is seeing Penny. Soon, Jack will be seeing Kate, Sawyer will be seeing Juliet, and the Imaginationverse will implode.

    The love certain men have for certain women conquers all time paradoxes. That’s what Daniel Farraday’s dream equation says.

    • All good, except you meant “The Swan Station” instead of “The Orchid.”

      • You sure? I hit up lostpedia and everything. Dang it!

        • Yeah, the site of the Incident as at the Swan Station, aka the Hatch, when they hit that pocket of electro-magnetic energy, blah blah bah.
          The Orchid is the site with the frozen donkey wheel, and also has electromagnetic properties and all that, but not nearly as manetic-y as the Swan’s. (it’s a super-important place tho, considering it’s the source of time & space travel).

  47. Also, I didn’t notice the sailboat in the episode, or the mention of the “button” that the MRI tech gave Desmond, but I sure didn’t miss the GIANT PAINTING OF A SCALE FULL OF BLACK AND WHITE ROCKS on the wall in Widmore’s office.

  48. just an fyi:

    i clicked the link. airplanemanifestfinder.org is not a real .org.

  49. I’m glad Sayid let Zoe live, because that means I can keep referring to the small island as “Where the flavor is: Debbie Country”.

    • OH MY GOD. I am so glad you mentioned this! My dislike of Zoe-as-crummy-Tina-Fey is now completely overshadowed by love of Zoe-as-someone-who-was-in-Singles. You’ve changed my life.

  50. The new greatest thing I’ve ever read in the english language: “He wasn’t pulling a Jack and melting his face off with whiskey tears, crisscrossing the Earth in Business Class.” Thank you. I have been laughing at that for hours.

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