Earlier this week, Sandra Bullock left her house for the first time (really?) since the public implosion of her marriage to drive to her money manager’s house (haha, sure, to drive to her money manager’s house). The paparazzi were waiting for her outside. This is what it looked like:

Holy shit. I know that the methods of the Paparazzi are no secret, and I recognize that the public relations line is blurry to the extent that celebrities often tip the Paparazzi off themselves in order to stay on top of their own story, and I understand that extremely famous people make a conscious decision to enter into this realm where the private is public and your life is a product for consumption, but again, HOLY SHIT. The worst part is that this is our fault. We demand this. The world WANTS TO SEE SANDRA BULLOCK COVERING HER FACE IN THE PASSENGER SEAT OF A CAR IN HER DRIVEWAY.

This broken world is spinning dangerously out of control. These guys know what I’m talking about:

We just hope Sandra Bullock gets back on her feet. That is all we want. That, and medicine.

I don’t know why this video of paparazzi swarming Sandra Bullock’s car (as she makes her way to her money manager’s house, naturally) makes me so sad, but it does. It’s not even the living nightmare of Sandra Bullock’s life, although that is part of it. It’s the living nightmare of all our lives. I just picture one of the paparazzo going home to his studio apartment and lying down on his bare mattress, staring up at the ceiling and feeling his chest swell with pride at another job well done. “I definitely bullied my way into someone’s personal life and got a photograph of them looking miserable,” he thinks. “I am the American Dream incarnate.” (Via Gawker.)

Comments (51)
  1. So Jesse James is a white supremacist now, eh? Hope he doesn’t stab any rabbis!

  2. Needs more Lovitz.

  3. We all know that Sandra Bullock was in the passenger seat, but who was driving? Perhaps it was… BONER GHOST!

  4. I was kind of hoping with the advent of the TMZ TV show that the paparazzis themselves would become the celebrities, and would all just take photos of each other. It would all be easier to ignore that way.

  5. This is just terribly awful. My question is, why doesn’t she just conduct her very important business meeting over the world-wide internet via HoverTeleconference by Cisco?

  6. I’m going to stay in my happy place where Sandra Bullock is that pretty young thing from Demolition Man and Speed 1 forever.

    Can someone explain to me the etymology of the whole stabbing priests meme deal, which has now evolved in to stabbing rabbis? What is that from?

  7. That video would have been so much better and so much less tragic if the driver pulled a GTA and just exploded all the papparzzos out of the way with the car.

  8. Seriously, why is it against the law to slam on the gas in that situation? Make these guys earn their pictures of someone holding a blanket over their face.

  9. so if all those flashes induce seizures (which is what happens whenever i am faced with a strobe light situation) who does mrs. jesse james get to sue (because this video reminds me that we live in america, land of litigation!)?

  10. I have to say, for people without acces to the Internet, those kids are really well-informed and opinionated!

  11. What a bunch of jerks! Being jerks for a living! Stop being assholes, you guys.

  12. This made me genuinely sad as well. And no, actually this is not Jesse’s fault. A whole lot of shit is, but the fact that you are are a human nightmare with a garbage soul is not the fault of Jesse James. Ick ick ick.

    On a more practical note, does Hertz rent cars with tinted windows? Sandy, look into that sweetie.

    • I agree, watching that was like watching piranhas attack some unsuspecting gazelle (gazelles live in the Amazon you guys [and they cross piranha-filled rivers like all the time (even though they always get eaten by piranhas? leave me alone)]). It just seems sick and ruthless and a reflection of one of the worst parts of our celeb-obsessed society. But the part of me that is always internally following up every complaint with “#Haiti” can’t feel too indignant over this. I realize this cruel media scrutiny is not in any way alleviating what I am sure is very real and legitimate heartbreak for Sandra Bullock, but you know, this sort of thing happens all the time to normal people who aren’t celebrities and have one million other impossibly difficult things to think about too like going to work every day so you can make enough to pay rent and put food on their family or whatever adults have to do besides polishing Oscar awards and maintaining a relationship with an asshole. (Btw Pizza, this comment sort of turned into not really a response at all to you, sorry buddy)

  13. This just really sucks. Such bad lighting for taking photographs.

  14. That wasn’t actually Sandra Bullock, it was Gimme from United States of Tara and that’s just how it looks

  15. I love that as they are clamoring up the walls like those Cuban crabs trying to get back to the ocean (did you see that shit on Life? CRAZY. Oprah was talking to me about Nature and shit), the security says, “This is personal property.” Their response, of course: “This is Jesse’s fault.”

    Yes. It is the cheating husband’s fault that the Paparazzi are making Sandra Bullock’s life even more miserable (her life is not that miserable and after all this has passed she will be even more revered by people reading gossip magazines everywhere and they will go out to see her new romantic comedy IN DROVES and she can dry those tears with hundred dollar bills) by mobbing her Mercedes as she’s pulling out of her driveway.

  16. I’m trying so hard to ignore this “news” story, but Videogum insists on shoving in in my eyes. Fine. I weep for the world. Let’s drop it now.

    • Yeah, I feel the same way. People get cheated on all the time, and you never want someone to get treated like shit, so I do feel bad for Bullock, but when you date/marry an garbage, what do you expect? The fact that he cheated with a (possibly) racist walking canvas makes it slightly interesting, but I think it would be better if we all moved on.

  17. Stop exploiting us for cheap laughs, Gabe.

    • Because they hate it when you do that. Oh, and polio.

      • You can be exploited without knowing you’re being exploited. How do you think the Republicans stayed in office for so long?

        • I agree with you on that point (with the hatemongering and all), but the picture of the kids is just a way to show there are actually bad things happening in the world, like famine, civil wars, AIDS running rampant and many more. That photo is used to put Videogum in perspective, not to get cheap laughs. Even though we all like to laugh at Kesha or watch cat videos, it is not actually that big of a deal when seen in the bigger picture. Gabe tries to remind us of that from time to time, but sees it is not his place to get all preachy and instead uses his greatest weapon: humor.

          So……………. fart joke?

          • Yeah, I know…I get what Gabe’s doing and I’m pretty much resigned to seeing that photo for the rest of my vgum-viewing existence even though it depresses the fuck out of me. (Also, I’m aware that by reposting the photo for a laugh [sort of], I’ve made myself complicit in the very exploitation I’m trying to point out…but I couldn’t resist because those kids really do look kind of annoyed.)

        • LOL Robin Rubbermaid = hilarious, keep up the provocative work, brohams

    • Yaaaaaaaaaaaa,its a very nice thought and i am agree with your thought.

      Automated Forex Trading

  18. It’s moments like these that really puke at your diarrhea strings.

  19. mydaughter'sname69  |   Posted on Apr 2nd, 2010 +12

    I’m going to use “Tell that to Jesse! This is Jesse’s fault!” as an excuse for my own bad behavior from now on.

  20. I have a good friend who is a former paparazzo. He quit because he started to hate himself. So sometimes there is magic in this world.

  21. Let’s not be so vain Sandy B. They were just trying to get a decent picture of your car for their fake online auction.

  22. For a brief moment I thought to myself “Why not set up a crazy sprinkler system on your car that emits hardcore sprinkler mist that gets all over paparazzi lenses and fucks up their pictures or shorts out their cameras. Then they would at least have to keep their distance.” Then I remembered I wasn’t supposed to think about things like this and went back to thinking about other things.

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