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We live in dark times. Our world is one of pain and suffering. So kahdooze to anyone who manages to carve out their own tiny corner of contentment. Of course, the nature of the sadness swamp in which we each must lead our own personal Artax is that people will probably ridicule you along the way. They will insult you and kick you and spit on you (at the very least insult you) for having found some way to make it through this living nightmare. Sometimes they do this out of fear, and sometimes they do it out of jealousy. The important thing is to ignore them. Haters will hate! And what looks to them like a waste of time, or an embarrassing way for an adult to behave, is just one human being saying “no darkness, not today.”
For example, let’s say you wanted to spend hundreds of hours, no, thousands of hours throwing business cards until you just became so good at it that it was crazy. You spent literally all the hours doing it. Well, I bet your parents would be kind of annoyed. And you might lose some friends who enjoy hanging out and having fun rather than standing in line with you at Kinko’s waiting to get another batch of 15,000 “practice” throwing-business-cards made up. But you have to follow your passion. And, in the end, you might even get to star in a viral marketing on-line web video for some kind of HD video camera (or something?)!
Seeing this guy do things with business cards that are actually insane happy makes me happy! (Via BuzzFeed.)
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This new “Scott Pilgrim vs The World” trailer is less impressive than the first
But you have to admit, Michael Cera looks pretty good in Scott’s classic “Hat and Jumpsuit” get-up.
THIS IS NOT THE LOST THREAD! <-you.
WHEN is the Lost thread?!?!?
We’ve got to get back to the LOST thread!
WHO is the Lost thread?
We’re gonna need a bigger Lost thread!
I hope he doesn’t hit his head and temporarily lose the ability to throw cards.
Seriously! I want to read that thread very badly and and as soon as possible. I’ve got to start moving furniture out of my apartment in like, 15 minutes!
Gambit is so pissed right now.
He may be cooler than Gambit, but that’s not really saying much, is it?
Hey, between Gabe’s beanie baby collection, and my comic book collection, we are so rich right now.
He’s not cooler than Gambit, because Gambit is also Tim Riggins.
This guy said of X-Men’s ‘Gambit’: “Horrible, He is probably the most pulpy, overwrought, melodramatic card-thrower ever.”
He lists his main inspiration as a home video of himself at age 11.
“You just got Sparksed!”
~ Someone, presumably
You get points for beating me to the comic book nerd joke
Ditto.
“Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark! “
You get points for beating me to the American Psycho joke. I hate you people
Lets get a drink and talk it over, Steve. Do you like Huey Lewis and the News? You can come over to my place afterwards and we can listen to some of their CDs.
Upvotes for everyone!
We’re gonna need to work on getting some laws passed, because I’m going to marry both of you.
For a start, the age of marriage is going to have to be dramatically lowered
Not in Kentucky!
Pretty good. But it looks like he’s using Strathmore stock, 60 pound. In other words, crap.
It looks like crap, it is crap
And of course…
FAKE.
(that youtube comment screencap, seriously, it looks weird)
WHAT ARE THESE BUSINESS CARDS MADE OF?
Also, this is better with Single Ladies playing in he background.
What, your business cards aren’t made out of knives?
it took him 25 years to design those
This comment is even better if you read it as “What, your business cards aren’t made out k-nives?”
background music definitely ripped straight from Uniracers. SNES? Anybody!? no oddjob.
I loved Uniracers! Someone should make an updated version of that game.
I wonder if he wins a lot of free lunches from restaurants. He must have to, right? I bet he could throw a business card into the hand of the employee pulling out the winner of a free lunch from store.
I actually won a free lunch from Noodles & Co. one time by putting my business card in the fish bowl. Dreams do come true, monsters. They really do.
We should all be so lucky as to not upset this nice young man, lest he remove our noses from our faces with heavy card stock.
Nice business card throwing trick warehouse.
In this economy we should all be so lucky as to get a paying gig from Samsung. He’s probably pretty happy about that right now.
Weak. The card didn’t even slice the tomato all the way through.
What you didn’t see is that he sliced straight through a hammer before moving on immediately to the tomato.
Well it’s smart advertising that’s for sure. This is definitely the camera I’m going to buy for all of my card throwing videos.
Make that plural, you need at least six to pull off all the necessary angles.
More like, those are the business cards I’m going to buy for all of my camera calibration tests.
Seriously, I was trying pretty hard to read the name of the camera, but it was never on the screen right side up, and not spinning in circles, long enough for me to make it out. I’m going to end up at the store asking to buy a Samsung HK73&@9.
I’m very relieved to read that seeing this guy happy makes you happy, Gabe, because I was worried you’d get all old-man-ragey when dude knocks over what looks to be a perfectly good piece of hard candy @ 0:33.
i like that at just before the 2 minute mark he misses once. Encouraging for all the kids practicing at home!
We’ve reached the point where we have to show people messing up just one time. For realism.
You lost me at Artax and the sadness swamp. Meaning, my brain instantly went to The Neverending Story and hasn’t returned.
“Hey guys, has anyone seen my Dr. Pepper? And my cigarettes? Why are you all laughing? Are these my new business cards on the ground?! You’re so mean you guys!” – Nicholas Sparks
Also: What an airhead.
Is it just me, or is every electronics company using viral videos to advertise their latest video cameras, which were used to film said viral videos? Is filming viral videos the only thing people use their video cameras for anymore? That’s also pretty much a waste of time that won’t make you any richer. Unless Samsung pays you to make a viral video with their camera so they can sell more cameras. It’s a vicious cycle. I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU, TUBE!
And why are all of the videos these days VIRAL videos? Sounds dangerous, I think I’ll pass.
I don’t like the weird excited groans from the man behind the camera who may or may not be doing something at least PG-13 rated behind the camera. Not Another Teen Movie style, but with more business cards.
Yup.
“no darkness, not today.”
Jeeze Gabe, you sound like that guy from C-Span this morning.
I’m actually really impressed.
Today’s payroll numbers portend serious competition for this kid.
I am going to start saying “kahdooze” as of this minute.
I almost forgot today was Wednesday because I didn’t see any Topher Grace post. Where is it? Did Topher Grace escape The Matrix?
The greatest trick in this video is making a balloon pop sound like a gunshot.
but can he throw the world’s greatest business card (i cant find that video of that asshole who spent 25 YEARS making his own business card)
I Googled “greatest business card guy” and there he was…
This is all good fun until he moves up to ninja stars.
is this pre or post returning of video tapes?
Confetti!