Photos
As you know, because you watched them at your slumber party, the 2010 Kids’ Choice Awards were this past Saturday. It was a wonderful night (probably) full of glamourous celebrities (hi, George Lopez!) and exciting drama (Katy Perry, u got slimed). But the most important aspect, of course, was the awarding of the famous Moonman, or whatever they give away at this thing. The golden Slinky? (Because you know how much kids in 2010 love Slinkies. WiFi-enabled Hannah Montana Slinkies.) Who went home with the “Favorite Voice from an Animated Film” award? And even more importantly, who won the coveted “Cutest Couple” award?! What a magical night!
But what did America’s elderly think? After the jump, a full list of this year’s Kids’ Choice Awards winners, with reactions from old people who are so old:
Cutest Couple: Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart
I’m cold. Is anyone else cold? I should have worn a sweater. God damn it.
Favorite TV Show: iCarly
Sometimes I still wake up at night drenched in sweat. Because of the war.
Favorite TV Actor: Dylan Sprouse
The Jews have made a deal with the aliens and Barack Obama is a Transformers.
Favorite TV Actress: Selena Gomez
WHO IS THAT? SPEAK UP!
Favorite Music Group: Black Eyed Peas
Black Eyed What? Oh leave me alone. I wish it had been you in that boat, instead of your brother.
Favorite Female Singer: Taylor Swift
I was robbed!
Favorite Male Singer: Jay-Z
A black singer? Honey, did you hear that? A black singer! Well, I’ll be. Times change, I guess.
Favorite Song: “You Belong With Me,” by Taylor Swift
A girl that age doesn’t belong with anyone if she knows what is decent.
Favorite Movie: Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel
Things sure have changed since I won the “Best Hurdy Gurdy Player” Moonman at the KCAs in 1802.
Favorite Movie Actor: Taylor Lautner
Speaking of Taylor Lautner, I miss my Bob.
Favorite Movie Actress: Miley Cyrus
You can’t just hang around here. And turn that music off. I’m going to call the police.
Favorite Cartoon: Sponge Bob Square Pants
Sponge Bob Square Pants is still the best cartoon? In 2004? WAIT, IT’S 2000 AND WHAT?!
Favorite Reality Show: American Idol
We like to joke that we should be on the Antiques Road Show as items to be appraised. You have to keep your spirits up in this world.
Favorite Female Athlete: Misty May Treanor
I just had the right knee replaced, but now the left knee is starting to go. And I have it better than most.
Favorite Male Athlete: Ryan Sheckler
Get him out on the Shuffleboard Pitch and we’ll see what kind of man he is.
Favorite Book: Diary of a Wimpy Kid
You know what book I loved as a kid? Br’er Rabbit.
Favorite Animated Movie: Up
Animation has the devil’s fingerprints all over it.
Favorite Voice from an Animated Movie: Jim Carrey, A Christmas Carol
My grandson showed me how to do this when he came to visit last year. It means “Danny Rules!”
Favorite Video Game: Mario Kart
That’s nice, dear.
(Winners via Nickelodeon. Photos via Google and PhotosOfOldPeople.)
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i like Gabe’s accordion
i know we are all supposed to be okay with the fact that eventually we will get old and keel over and die and whatever, but these pictures (alongside the reactions) instill a great fear of what is to come in me. someone hug me and let me know it will be okay!
I Will Hug You and Your Avatar any day of the week.
Maybe you won’t get old at all. maybe the last thing you’ll say is “Seatbelts? Seatbelts are for fags!” .
My uncle, who is a 60-year-old man, doesn’t wear seatbelts because of the government.
“I just hate that Nader kid.”
Mom: “Was that Puffy who got slimed?”
Kid: “Its P. Diddy, not Puffy. God mom, you are so old!”
This is both the most hilarious and most depressing post in recent Vgum history. Because old people are both hilarious and depressing. Mostly depressing, though.
Agreed. The ‘I miss my Bob’ made me super sad.
For reals, I wish old people would keep their oldness to themselves.
Gabe, did you take these pictures around your retirement community in Sarasota?
man what the fuck is uppppppp old people
“You kids like Tony Falcon and his skateboard? I’ll get you that game for you Gamestation you always ask for. Also, does this computer come with the Twitter? Oh and Miley Cyprus, she sure is “rockin” huh kids? In my day we called girls like that molly-coddles, but I guess times change.”
I know that its tough to tear yourself away from Salisbury Steak night at Peaceful Glen Home for Finely Vintaged Persons, but what were your opinions on Shaun White’s disappointing loss in the favortie Male Athlete category?
i like old people. i hope to be really, really old some day. except not as old as the lady in the tiara. that’s just way too old. someone show her mercy, please. walk into the light.
I think we’ve found the long-lost Humanzee
MANPANZEE!
CHUMAN!!!
when my grandfather hit one hundred he became convinced that god or whatever had just forgotten about him. all his friends and close family had died, and he would sit up at night and ask my mom why he wasn’t dead yet. it was very, very, very sad. then he passed at 102. it was a blessing at that point, for everyone. a really
blessing.
bummergum.
my 98(+?) year old Great-Grandmother was PISSED OFF she was dying…to the point she had to be restrained. “I don’t want to go!” she kept screaming. We all thought she would have died soon after my great grandpa passed from “sadness” or “love” or something but she had blossomed in those…eight years(?) and was really active in her retirement home…she had little old friends and never missed a craft day OR the latest Big Brother.
It definitely broke my heart that her body gave out before her spirit… though the other side doesn’t sound much better.
But, this is really selfish of us to talk about because we’ll be dead from a bad case of 2012 all too soon.
Andy Rooney: “I’m sorry I’m so old. I didn’t mean to get old. It just happened. If you’re lucky, maybe it will happen to you too.”
It’s too damn bad Justin Bieber was ineligible due to his music coming out too late, since I want to hear these people’s opinions on my boyfriend
Remember when that stupid little girl was crying about Justin Bieber? That was hilarious
Buster Keaton was robbed.
I think the saddest part is that Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel won best picture. And that Barack Obama really isn’t a transformer.
And that Jay-Z is their favorite male singer? I guess we can take solace in the fact that, among the myriad problems that children face in today’s ever-changing world… bitches ain’t one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wl0o5kqNyEM
damn. that didn’t work out the way i hoped.
/new commenter
“Animation has the devil’s fingerprints all over it”….LOL4LIFE!!!!!!
“That Justin Bieber could charm the black off a telegram boy.”
One of the best things ever.
Seriously? No Werthers jokes?
No wonder these people are all so unhappy.
I’m definitely with the old people on this one. I can’t care about the Kids’ Choice Awards. Not when each of these people, movies and TV shows are mere shadows passing beneath me as I hurtle towards death.
Speaking of slinkies, did you know that they don’t work on stairs in a house built in the last 20 years or so?* They make stairs deeper now than they used to.
*i made up the time frame, but the fact is still true. I know this because I heard exactly 1 story verifying it.
Jenna Maroney’s dead?!!
“Katy Perry got slimed? After Harriet lost her Lou, she was able to take care of all of his final expenses through their coverage from Colonial American. And all it cost was pennies a day! Who is Katy Perry?”
I think they give out blimps at the KCAs. Now somebody lobotomize me so I don’t have to know that anymore.
On the subject of growing old and dying, this –> http://www.dayswithmyfather.com/default.aspx is truly beautiful.
/seriousgum
And you’re not helping my tears at all either today.
I miss Bob too, he was a good man. It wasn’t easy for him after the war but he made the most of life and he loved Elva as much as he possibly could. Maybe that was good enough in the end.
They got married at 17 right before he shipped out with the Marines to Guadalcanal. The things he witnessed, the things he did were nothing a young man his age should have had to endure. Too many men of that generation had to grow up much too soon because of the war but in a way it made the country stronger. It didn’t, however, make Bob stronger. Bob was never the same when he came back. He remained distant. Elva said he never regained that glint in his eye she loved so much. Instead, Bob came home with empty eyes and a bare soul. Sure, Bob and Elva took the money from the GI BIll and made a nice life for themselves. A modest house, three wonderful kids but Bob was maybe never the man he could have been nor was he ever quite the loving or accepting father and husband he should have.
Maybe the saddest part of Bob’s story is not the loss of his innocence but the loss of innocence that nearly his entire generation suffered. Young men who gave so much for their country (and the world) only to endue lives that would never be entirely fulfilled. God bless you, Bob.
I’m not supposed to be crying at work, West.
If there is any justice in this place called the Interweb then this will get upvoted a whole load of times (like 180 or something, is that a big number? I’m hungry).
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
Oh Steve. Steve, Steve, Steve. What would we do without you?
we’d have a party, right?
This needs a “cute as balls” tag, I think.
wrinkled as balls
Crotchety as balls?
How does one tell the Sprouse brothers apartment so as to vote one of them favorite male actor over the other? And jesus, how much coke did the other brother snort that night to kill the pain of losing?
i was wondering the same thing. is it possible that one is actually more averagely-talented than the other? or better at laugh-track comic timing? i can’t imagine how this would work.
What’s weird is that Dylan isn’t even the cute one, but the other one is painted really nebbishy on the show. That’s my guess as to why he won.
What? I spend a lot of time with my nieces and nephews.
I’m actually kind of delighted to see that there is a Best Book award. Is there a Best Book award at the People’s Choice Awards? I hope not, because the People’s Choice is probably Going Rogue or some appalling shit.
Mario Kart? Still?
MARIO KART ALWAYS!
))<4Evr>((
I have nothing really to add here. I just enjoy posting pictures of old people too…
“I wish it had been you in that boat, instead of your brother.” This is the best sentence I have ever read in my life.
am I the only person who is genuinely 62?
Did any of you actually watch it? I haven’t, but judging from this gif of Katy Perry getting slimed, it seems pretty cruel:
…Or hilarious. Not sure.
GROSS! i bet that went up her nose….
and it blew off her wig. those fucks.
I heard that during Miley Cyrus’s acceptance speech, Mo’nique bum rushed the stage screaming about how the Kids Choice Academy (or whatever) was too political to give her the award just because she hadn’t campaigned hard enough. Miley let her have the moonman out of fear that she would be beaten to death and eaten.
dont get me wrong we are all gonna die someday and that is a beautiful message
but I gotta masturbate at least once DAMN!
Old person: “Back in Pomona the nickelodeon was down on the corner of Warner and Main. Stan Gerber used to sell bags of popcorn there for two cents. The bags were very big. Stan used to tell all the kids not eat the popcorn too fast or else the kernels would get stuck in our mouths forever. Franklin Foster- do you remember Franklin, dear? Well Franklin would always used to tease the girls going in to the theater…”
And so on.
kids are dumb
A + on the BR’ER RABBIT JOKE, Gabe. It’s probably the first one I’ve ever come across. Impressive!
Why wasn’t Hagatha asked for her input?