Oh good. It has been awhile since we have had a party game. What has everyone even been doing at parties lately? Who knows. “Want to talk about current events, or things that are happening in your life?” “No.” That is just an example of things that have almost certainly be said at your more recent parties. The newest one is just a straight-forward classic. #calmmovielines. You get it. But here are some examples:

  • “I am not sure whether or not you can handle the truth, but I hope so.”
  • “My name is Inigo Montaya. You killed my father. I have been very upset about that, you don’t even know.”
  • “Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? Who are you talking to? Is it me? Hi!”
  • “So, just stay alive, OK, and I will find you. I’m not sure how long it’s going to take depending on how far you go, but I’ll find you, don’t even worry about it.”
  • “Yeah, this is Sparta.”

Whoops, hold on. CAR! Hold on. OK. GAME ON!

Comments (419)
  1. I am standing at the front of a ship.

  2. Stella. I guess.

  3. Is there, um, perhaps, some money that you could show me?

  4. Would you mind if we stopped using wire hangers, please?

  5. The snakes on this plane are growing tiresome.

  6. I find Heineken distasteful and vastly prefer Pabst Blue Ribbon.

  7. Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a darn.

  8. Hey Lebowski I know you owe us some money but we’re reasonable men and I’m sure we can work out a deal

  9. You’re gently tearing me apart, Lisa.

  10. I sometimes wish that my life was my own. Instead of, y’know, yours. Thanks for understanding, Dad. Good talk.

  11. I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. I have plenty of bubblegum, so it may take me a while to get to that second part. Sorry if I startled you.

  12. We will be well-advised to acquire a larger boat.

  13. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  14. I’m going to make him an offer that will be fairly hard to say no to.

  15. I would enjoy a sip of your milkshake.

    • I’m going to put my straw in your milkshake, if that’s OK with you. Then hit you in the head with a bowling pin. Or not, who knows. We’ll see where the moment takes us.

  16. I’m on the bow of this boat with my arms out.

  17. I’m going to tell everybody that walks in this building that in 2R, Janice Rossi, is a fairly promiscuous woman

  18. Soylent Green might not be as nutritious as you think.

  19. They can take our lives, but they will not be allowed to take our right to petition the king about papal land grants.

  20. It appears that this planet was Earth the whole time.

  21. Excuse me, could you please get off of my plane?

  22. Dan, please pay attention to me?


  24. Bowman. Steven Bowman.

  25. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • “Please introduce yourself to my diminutive friend. I hope you don’t find his small stature off-putting, he’s really quite nice.”

      There. Now we are all having fun!

  26. Mom, check it out. Top of the world over here.

  27. I feel the need- the need to go mildly faster than usual!

  28. Perhaps this is Sparta.

  29. I gave her my heart and she gave me one of those fancy Mont Blanc pens for my birthday, isn’t she great?

  30. Fight and you will die. Run and you will live, at least awhile.

  31. I can’t imagine how they managed to overtake Air Force One.

  32. This has nothing to do with the game but, Taxi Driver is such a great movie. Combining it with ice cream cones sounds like a formula for enjoyment.

  33. mydaughter'sname69  |   Posted on Mar 24th, 2010 +83


  34. please give me the keys, you silly goose ice road trucker

  35. Are you aware of what happens, Larry? When you attempt to make love to someone with whom you aren’t familiar? Are you aware of it at all, Larry?

  36. Always. Be. Calmly and fairly negotiating a deal with our valuable customers.

  37. We would really prefer to not wear badges, if it’s all the same to you.

  38. Let the Kraken go, I guess.

  39. You know, I’m not super comfortable with where Baby is currently sitting.

  40. Hello, ma’am. Would be so kind as to let me know how this doll here became charred?

  41. Huh, the story is this notebook is pretty similar to our lives. Time for you pills!

  42. King Kong does not have much on me – except for the fur and the enormous size – in which case he has me beat. Go King Kong!

  43. Please don’t mention Fight Club to other people if you would.

  44. Yippe Kay Yay, new casual acquaintance.

  45. Get your odored paws off me, you darn less-hygienic ape!

  46. Listen: Once I say so, give them all sorts of hell, okay?

  47. Can you please explain to me the reason why this doll was burned.

  48. You’re mildly annoying me, Smalls.

  49. Attica. Um….Attica?

  50. These bees are getting pretty close to my eyes you guys.

  51. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that … You know what, I don’t like where I’m going with this. I mean, ick, right? Let’s just get out there and do the best we can, okay fellas?

  52. what we have here is…a…failure to communicate?

  53. The Shin might change your day.

  54. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, a very big gun, and could hurt you, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do you, sir?

  55. Badges? We have no need of badges, good sir.

  56. I don’t think that’s a moon. It’s probably a space station, but I guess we’ll see.

  57. Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? Because I can try again. Tell you what, I’ll just keep going until you’re entertained. Just raise your hand when you’re entertained, so I know. Thanks!

  58. Have you ever heard the noise that a pig makes? I’d like you to do that while I’m sodomizing you…

  59. I suppose they could pass gently in their sleep and perhaps not go to heaven, I guess.

  60. It’s fine, we don’t need an apology and you can go ahead and take your trophy. You’ve earned it.

  61. I guess this game seems to be about over, man. Game seems pretty much over!

  62. If you don’t mind, I would like for all of us to get up. Yes, let’s get up out of chairs. Very good. Now, let’s go to the window, and if it isn’t already open, please open it at this time. Excellent. Alright, next, let’s all of us stick our heads out the window, yes like that very nice, and together voice our dissatisfaction with the present state of affairs. Wonderful!

  63. I want you to find this nancy-boy Eliot Ness, I want his credit rating ruined, I want his family woken up by a barking dog, I want his house to have a lamplight pointing into his bedroom. I want to go there in the middle of the night and quietly smile to myself about all the ways I’ve inconvenienced him.

    • Mitch and/or Murray, for your LOTR entry up the page a scroll or two and this bit of brilliance, you win in my heart, or at least find yourself tied with Pepper Ann’s wire hangers in my heart. One or the other. I haven’t quite decided.

  64. We don’t need roads because we’ll be traveling temporally rather than spatially.

  65. One Billion, one hundred and twenty-one million watts is quite a few watts. Golly.

  66. I haven’t been nodded at like that since graduate school.

  67. If it’s not too much of a bother, would you mind letting my people go?

  68. Welcome to the Thunderdome. Most competitors wait in line over here, but if you want some water, or something, the lobby is out and to the left.

  69. San Dimas High School Football is a worthy competitor

  70. The life of the mind is significantly more chaotic and violent than I think you suspected. Allow me to demonstrate.

  71. Tame the cock. Respect the lady-parts.

  72. If you don’t mind, I have some questions for you. If you don’t tell me the truth, I may be a little miffed, but we can work it out nicely. -Jason Bourne

  73. Luke, look this is complicated… When I was 9 I fell for this chick who was older than me, like creepy older, but it was cool I guess, anyway I aged faster than she did and I ended up forming a bit of a relationship with her. We fell in love and got married and then I fell in with a bad crowd and she didn’t want much to do with me. Long story short, I need a kidney.

    • Dammit Notsewfast, I keep thinking I came up with one, double check to make sure it’s not here and you beat me to it. And they’re always better than mine to begin with. Grumble

  74. Pssst…Elaine.

  75. I’m not sure what you mean when you say I’m funny?…Is it my inflection or the substance of the words? I’ve always been fascinated by the mechanics of comedy, so this could be a learning moment for me.

  76. Could you please step away from her, ma’am?

  77. “What’s that smell?”
    “It’s gas.”

    Wait….that’s the actual quote. I’m terrible at this. Just like Keanu Reeves is a terrible actor.

  78. What’s my name? Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Blake.

  79. Bumblebee.

  80. Tonight we dine in heck.

  81. I’m not sure if they deserve to die, and am ambivalent about their fate in the afterlife.

  82. repost from my Twitter: “Don’t worry about it, Jake, it’s just Chinatown.”

  83. Hey Danny? Wendy? Can you guys let me in? I’d like to come in and murder you, but this axe isn’t ideally suited for opening doors.

  84. “I have strong feelings towards you.” -romantic movies.

  85. I am slightly upset. Would you mind if I don’t necessarily take this anymore?

  86. Stay gold Ponyboy… if you want. i don’t really want to inconvenience you but gold is a good way to be and and if you stayed gold my death would be that much easier to take…

  87. “Rose, bud.”

  88. You think that’s a knife? Me too. This is also a knife. /Aussie accent

  89. The reality of this situation is starting to dawn on me.

  90. another repost from my account on micro-blogging website Twitter dot com:

    “If you could just put the lotion in the basket that would be awesome, thanks so much.”

  91. You know what I just realized guys? This is totally a trap. Boom. Nailed it.

  92. I’ll have what she’s having… but with a little less orgasm and can we get a refill on these waters please?

  93. English, my friend, are you fluent in it?

  94. It’s not such a good idea for one to just, you know, walk into Mordor. Be safe!

  95. General Zod, if you have the time, could you please step outside…and watch your step. Thanks.

  96. Hey flight director in Houston, there may be a slight issue up here…don’t panic though, we’ll probably figure it out.

  97. Please put this lotion on. I don’t like using the hose anymore than you like getting sprayed. It’s called compromise!

  98. Pardon me, but do you know how this doll became charred?

  99. i’m pretty upset and after the next round of layoffs i’ll probably not be willing to take it anymore.

  100. Welcome to Earth. I hope you enjoy your visit with us.

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