Guys, I don’t want to blow anyone’s minds, or rock anyone’s boats, or shake anyone’s cores (nullus), but George W. Bush is a jerk. Like, even if you thought he was a good president (uh, what?) he is still a jerk. He is smarmy and arrogant and smug and self-satisfied and proudly ignorant. FACT. But if you don’t think he was a good president, then oh boy, look out. There is probably a whole laundry list of reasons that you don’t like this guy. My list starts with WARS and goes from there, all the way down to SNAKE LIPS. What I’m saying is that I haven’t exactly been on the fence with George W. Bush for awhile now. Oh, sure, I voted for him. We all did. And I campaigned heavily for him to receive an historic third term. Unfortunately, that was not in the cards. Just like how not being a jerk is not in the cards for George W. Bush. No duh.

And today, in George W. Bush Is A Jerk News, there is a video circulating of him shaking hands with people in Haiti and WIPING HIS HAND ON BILL CLINTON’S SHIRT.

That seems about right. FILE UNDER: yup. (Via HuffingtonPost.)

Comments (76)
  1. How was this man president twice?

  2. He is not wiping his hand on his shirt, he is giving Bill Clinton an affectionate pat. You liberals are terrible

  3. Snake lips! That is eerily accurate.

  4. “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully. Which is why I encourage the flooding of non-Western countries”
    - George W. Bush (the “W” stands for WJerk)

  5. I at least have the tact to use hand sanitizer once the person has turned around.

  6. That was the most single-longest hand wipe I’ve ever seen.

  7. Usually Bill Clinton is the one leaving stains on other people’s clothes. –Jay Leno

  8. I bet that Haitian gave him the ol’ stink palm. They’re big Mallrats fans in Haiti.

  9. Relax everyone! George Dubya was just bestowing immortality upon Bill Clinton. Bill won’t regret it for at least 140 years.

  10. In all fairness, I would wipe my hand on someone nearby if I had to shake W’s hand.

  11. Clinton: “George, if you happen to shake hands with anyone especially ugly or poor looking, feel free to wipe your hand off on my shirt.”
    George: “Oh no! I couldn’t impose on you like that! I’m the Decider not the Wiper!”
    Clinton: “Really, no biggie. You know as well as i do that i have many shirts.”


    “He seems like the unpopular kid at high school, that nobody liked”- CNN.

  13. Come on, George. Bill’s great, but he’s not Purell.


  15. what you didn’t see was the Haitian wiping HIS hand on the guy next to him and saying, “ew gross” (in haitian).

  16. To be fair…he was shaking this guy’s hand…

  17. He’s doing a heck of a job.

  18. Maybe the culture he comes from that’s a sign of affection.

  19. This is strange. I’ve long since given up on hating George W. Bush. I mean, that kind of went out of fashion around January ’05. I can still recognize that the guy is some sort of horrible (possibly garbage) monster conceived in the minds of the secret old monied oligarchy that really runs America; sent to us from Texas via Connecticut disguised as some sort of folksy populace coke head that just loves a good time, god, and pussy in that order so that he could destroy the non gun owning personal freedoms that make our country kind of great while at the same time spreading fear throughout the nation and the world in an attempt to bring about a neo-conservative world order. I realize he doesn’t care about black people and might actually just want to eradicate all those that do not follow Christ but at the same time the guy is presumably still a human, afterall. And no human would do this, right? We’re missing something here, right? He is not wiping the poor black people sweat from his palm on to the $300 shirt of noted philanderer and Big Mac aficionado Bill Clinton. Is he? This seriously blows my mind. Why the fuck was he in Haiti in the first place? Leave Haiti alone, monster!

    So here is my theory: Amongst the ruckus, George and Bill suddenly found themselves in the midst of a big game of seagulling. This video was taken moments before Bill realized what was going on and George was just having a laugh at his expense b/c Democrats and Republicans, you know.

    • Even though I dislike George Bush with every fiber of my gay liberal godless hippy being, I’m trying to judge him for the better, because I like to believe that human beings are basically good.

      It reminds me of the conversation I used to have with my dad [who probably hates George Bush more than any other person on the planet] if Bush is too dumb to be evil or too evil to be dumb. Like, if he’s really just a bad person, does that mean that his dumb folksy bullshit is just bullshit? And if he really is that much of an idiot, does that mean that he’s too stupid to know that what he’s doing is horrible?

      We would argue over it back and forth until eventually my dad went off to read a book about how much Bush sucked and I would fall asleep in a ball and dream of a world in which the government was not run by evil monkeys.

      • “I like to believe that human beings are basically good.”

        You have so much to learn.

        • BUT when you expect the worst of people you get the worst. I don’t think there is anything wrong with believing that people are “basically good” because all people are capable of good.

        • It’s really wishful thinking, That One. I know everything is terrible, I just find it comforting to close my eyes and wish away all the jerks, because really what else can one done.

    • *sent to us from connecticut via texas.

  20. You should see where he tried to rub his hand BEFORE they got out of the car. I’m referencing Clinton’s genitals. W was going for the bulldog face of interest.

  21. It’s morbidly fascinating that it took this idiot’s bizarre faux pas to return our attention to the plight of Haiti.

    I mean, on the one hand, you could argue that Bush is a real hero for doing this. On the other hand, you couldn’t argue that at all, dickhole.

  22. it turns george bush doesn’t care for shaking hands with black people either.

  23. In his defense that hand was probably yucky.

  24. add germaphobe to the already long and uncomplimentary list of things george bush is.

  25. Remember when Kanye West was all “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” and all of us were like “Oh Kanye, don’t be ridiculous, United States Presidents aren’t racist!”?

    I for one think we all owe Mr. West an apology.

  26. Thank you for letting us see the most hilarious footage we should have seen over nine years ago, thank the internet and “insert your own political agenda”gum for seeing the true side of a guy that was our president for 8 years. No Opiniongum

  27. It’s one thing to shake hands with a Haitian and then wipe your hand off on YOURSELF. That’s pretty shitty. But his pants were too good for wiping his own hand. SO HE USED BILL CLINTON. Are we sure this isn’t an Onion article?

  28. A sex maniac like Clinton should be good for something. You can’t trust your under aged Nisse with him, Where is Monica ? Bush needed to clean the shxt off his hands. He feels bad about taking the peoples property at Arlington, Tx. to build a ball park. No one ever talks about the Haitian’s brutal murder of the entire white population about 1900. Probably would be racist.

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