Hollywood is a soft, gray place. A swamp. And lo be unto the person who tries to carry an idea into that swamp. Do you remember in The Neverending Story, when Artax dies in the Swamp of Sadness? It’s like that, only instead of beautiful, wonderful horses who would be your best friend for sure and that you would brush every day if they were yours dying, it is originality and thoughtfulness that dies there. My point is, they are remaking Overboard. From the Hollywood Reporter:
Jennifer Lopez is in talks to star in the remake of the romantic comedy “Overboard,” which Overbrook is producing for Columbia.
The 1987 movie, which starred Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn and was directed by Garry Marshall, centered on a snooty, spoiled woman who falls off her yacht and is taken to the hospital by a local, morally challenged carpenter. When she wakes up with amnesia, he convinces her she is his wife, thereby getting a free housekeeper for his four boys.
Right. No, definitely. Good thinking, guys. The problem is, just as one does not simply drive into Mordor, one does not simply remake Overboard with Jennifer Lopez. You’ve got to jazz it up! You know, 4 tha kidz! Here are a couple of suggestions (relax Hollywood, they’re not “ideas”):
Also this is going to be in 3D, right? Just kidding. I’M NOT AN IDIOT, HOLLYWOOD. I know this is going to be in 3D, jeez.