porno_switcheroo

Great news, everyone! We have finally received a grant from the United States Government to open another wing in the Videogum Archives. So now, in addition to the TWSS Archives, we will also be preserving Porno Switcheroos for posterity. Porno Switcheroos, of course, are the classic scenario in which, for example, a science teacher believes he is about to phone it in for the day by showing his class a VHS of The Matrix, only to have it turn out to be porno. Porno Switcheroo! Or perhaps a powerful corporate vice president begins his Powerpoint presentation only to discover that his key slide concerning Q4 growth analysis has been replaced with a Quicktime of some porno. Porno Switcheroo! Q4 Growth Analysis indeed! (Yuck, sorry.) These are going to be rare, as most cases of Porno Switcheroo are not relevant to Videogum’s interests (Videogum’s interests being, of course, trampolines, vigilante justice, and ghost hunting). But history is not about quantity. I don’t think? It might be about quantity, actually. The next grant proposal I write to the United States government is going to be for funding to determine whether or not history is about quantity. But for now, let’s talk about today’s Porno Switcheroo! It concerns a two-hour slot on North Carolina cable television during which the children’s On Demand station was more like the children’s bONer Demand station, right? (I AM SORRY, I ALREADY SAID.)

From the MetroUK (via DailyWhat):

Youngsters watching children’s TV channels in North Carolina got something rather unexpected on Tuesday morning – when two hours of the Playboy channel was broadcast instead by mistake.

A glitch at the cable company meant that, between 6:15 and 8:15am on Tuesday, the Kids on Demand and Preschool on Demand channels weren’t showing cartoons or educational programmes, but were instead showing previews of adult shows featuring scantily clad ladies talking dirty.

Oh man. Hahahah. A classic Porno Switcheroo if ever I heard one. The parents of North Carolina, of course, are furious.Relax, parents of North Carolina! This type of thing is only confusing to children. “What is she doing and why is she doing it?” are the two questions a Porno Switcheroo usually raises for a child, if a child is involved (children are very often involved in Porno Switcheroos). And if you answer either of those questions, they are met with a follow up question, which is “why?” And if you answer that it is followed up with another question: “but why?” And then they just go back to doing whatever they were doing. Mixing all the sauces from the refrigerator into one glass and daring each other to drink it, or whatever. Making their stuffed animals go to the stuffed animal hospital, etc. So I am not very worried about the children.

And I am not very worried about this Porno Switcheroo falling through the cracks. It is forever in the Archives now. Where it belongs. Those who do not know the history of Porno Switcheroos are doomed to repeat them (which would be hilarious).

Comments (77)
  1. Playboy! Sounds like Game Boy! Bunnies! Seems kid-friendly…an honest mistake, I’m sure.

  2. To be fair ‘Dora the Anal Explorer’ was pretty close to the intended programming.

  3. Haha the best part is that it went on for TWO HOURS. I’m just imagining the people at the cable company getting outraged phone calls and being like, WE’LL LOOK INTO IT, BRAH and then making the PSHHH face at eachother.

    • Operator 1: “Yeah, I just got a call in saying there’s tits on the kiddie channel.”
      Operator 2: “Really? We should check that out.”

      *time passes*

  4. i’m glad the gov’ment (via videogum) is getting on top of this. this is important stuff.

  5. “The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of porn switcheroos.” – Karl “Big and Red” Marx

  6. Porno Switcheroo? More like Videogum Interest Switcheroo! I was not aware that vigilante justice and ghost hunting were added to the official interest page. I’ll have to update my interests on Facebook now!

    • i changed the official bio im keeping around in case i ever make it into playboy (gotta have dreams)

      “hi, i’m melanie! my turn ons are trampolines, vigilante justice, and ghost hunting! my turn offs are rude people!!”

      • For a second, I thought your bio said “my turn offs are NUDE people,” and I was like “then why are you even writing to Playboy?”

  7. I myself am an awesome older sister and North Cakilakee resident. Since I am currently jobless, I was busy *helping out my parents with my nine year old brother as they were **getting ready to go to work.

    I selflessly allowed him to watch Kids on Demand because I am an awesome older sister.

    The morning ended with me asking politely if my brother might consider not mentioning what he just saw to anyone, ever. He complied and I felt like a ***really awesome older sister.

    *throwing away my future
    **paying for my thrown away future
    ***a pedophile

    • I know what Chapter Two in your brother’s memoir is going to be about.

    • Unrelated to the Porn Switcheroo, but North Carolina television is fantastic. I go to college in this wonderful state, and when announcing school closures/delays, they also announce church closings/delays. As a Godless, heretical liberal from New Jersey, this was very entertaining the first time I saw it.

      • To illustrate my point, the 5:00 news just did a five minute piece on an elementary school art teacher who had his class build wooden cars with sails and then lay on their stomachs to blow them (TWSS, I am so sorry) and race across the classroom floor. Healthcare reform what?

  8. And here I thought that the “Porno Switcheroo” was T-Pain’s follow-up to “Reverse Cowgirl.”

  9. This article implies that there is no porn involving trampolines, vigilante justice or ghost hunting.
    Clearly you have never visited http://www.trampolinesandvigilantejusticeporn.com/ghost_hunting

  10. When I was younger I was watching Zoom on PBS and somehow the channel got switched to the Playboy Channel. It was weird.

  11. I would like to submit, as a regressive case study for the archives (TWSS), The 2009 Super Bowl Incident, in which Comcrap* managed to Broadcast Porn during the game. I think ALL of Arizona saw this, if I am not mistaken, Verification? AZ Monstahs?

    Aditionally, that was a SUPER Bowl, if ya knowwhatImean

  12. Wait, so the guy from Blues Clues reciting Tiger Woods’ sexts is NOT an appropriate substitute for a day at preschool?

  13. Also, not to be crass, but it is a DAMNED GOOD THING The Popcorn Bowl is in the dad’s lap, especially with all the random Pr0n poppin.

  14. It is great that VG now includes ghost hunting as an interest because I watched Ghost Adventures last night before Project Runway.

    They were investigating this trampoline factory where a vigilante had killed a number of juggalos who worked there. The guys were locked in for the night and they caught an EVP where you could clearly hear a disembodied voice say “Naw but.” Or perhaps “Gnaw butt.” I don’t know.

    It was creepy.

  15. Scroll down for a picture of… um… a puppy.
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    What?

  16. 123 Contact. :(

  17. The ONE day I decide to not watch Kids on Demand!

  18. I don’t remember Mr. Dress-Up being this dark.

  19. the girl in pink looks totally into it.

  20. “I’m 12 and what is this” –

    children.

  21. I think the graphic should have been a board of directors with the same shocked&horrified look on their faces.

  22. he’ll get over it

  23. “Damn it, I knew we shouldn’t have built the control panel with the “Children’s Programming” and “Hardcore Pornography” buttons right next to each other!”

    • Yeah, it’s not like kids shows/superbowls are ever preempted by accidental Paula Deen show clips. I think Tyler Durden works at every cable company (1999 hipster jokez ftw).

  24. Napoleon Dynamite starring John Heder

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