“Mom, dad, I know that it’s taken you awhile to open up to my boyfriend, T-Pain. You’ve been worried that if I was going to date someone in the music industry, with all of its unsavory temptations, and the stresses it puts on a serious relationship, what with the touring and the fan worship, that you would like me to at least date someone in the music industry who was actually talented. And I guess you had a point. But this isn’t about musical talent, or lack thereof, it’s about me being in love with a man. A man named T-Pain. And he loves me back. I think that has been hard for you to see before. But I really think you’re going to understand how powerful our bond is when you watch the video for his new song, “Reverse Cowgirl.” Dad, I really think you’re going to like the slow motion shots of wine glasses filled with cherries smashing against a reflective surface, just like how T-Pain smashed my you know what. And mom, I think if you close your eyes and just listen to the lyrics, you’ll realize that despite his Ringmaster at the Black Eyed Peas Circus exterior, he is really a 12-year-old boy who just learned the silly sounding name of a sex position from the back of a magazine he found in a dumpster behind a drugstore at heart. It’s after the jump, mom and dad. Enjoy.” –You

“Break up with him!” — me. (Via Vulture.)

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Comments (50)
  1. Looks like he got his own fancy slow-mo camera there, or took it from those dogs.

  2. If auto-tune really helped make music sound better, this would have been 3.5 minutes of silence.

  3. You can tell he’s really maturing as an artist.

  4. Skeevie Blunder’s “Songs in The Key of Autotune”

  5. “yeahhhh…. for 8 seconds!” – Tpain

    While this music is quite horrible, it’s really helping with some of my insecurities.

  6. So good, guys! It’s like a Lady Gaga video with less synth, more auto tune, more obtuse sexual references, less choreographed dance, less pop culture references, more dreadlocks, more slow motion water flying through the air (WHAT was THAT?). Pretty much exactly the same.

  7. I just have three thoughts:

    1. This sounds like Israeli pop. Jewish/Israeli monsters know what I am saying.
    2. Didn’t he, like, lose his virginity at the age of 10 [Ew, I hate that I know that.] Just thinking maybe that’s relevant.I kind of liked this video.
    3. Aesthetically, it was nice. However, I did only watch 1:21 of it because I could not take T-Pains electronic BLEATING. Really, Auto Tune makes people sound like Robot Sheep.

  8. T-Pain is a national treasure and you’re all just jealous.

    • C’mon, son.

    • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

      • In this era of Ke$ha it’s hard to imagine anyone can look back to the time when half the songs in the top 40 were produced by T-Pain with anything but a deep and profound sense of loss.

        • Word, son. It’s a nice melody, i actually sang along to it. Plus, reverse cowgirl is a very woman empowering position, it’s nice that t-pain likes his women powerful. I mean, there are images of cherries being busted, but i think that’s blood on the hands of the director, cause a virgin would hardly choose reverse cowgirl, only weathered veterans do it.

      • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

        • Dude, we’re not downvoting you because you disagree with something Gabe said. I think we all disagree with something that Gabe says fairly often. Believe me, you’re not enlightened.

          We’re downvoting you because you called us a bunch of fucking racists for thinking that someone who made a career out of singing songs about booties and champagne like a Robot Sheep is not very talented.

      • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

        • Uh, T-Pain does write his own music. He is a prolific record producer. So is Kanye West, who was famous as a producer (responsible for some of the best beats on Jay-Z’s The Blueprint) before he released his own albums. The More You Know.

        • Listen to a song off of Rebirth and then listen to any T Pain song. A person who can’t sing processed through auto-tune sounds a lot different than someone who can’t.

          If you’re going declare that someone is not a “musical talent” at least read their Wikipedia page first.

        • I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing this on any other website except Videogum, but you’re right, T-Pain is a prolific producer! I’m sorry guys, I should have consulted at least Wikipedia.

          Notwithstanding, though, this is a ridiculous song.

      • pah! (says marky mark)

      • Ah paralipsis, the bitchiest of rhetorical devices.

  9. mydaughter'sname69  |   Posted on Mar 18th, 2010 +24

    “This video sexually excites me. Look at their soft clean fur, their little puppy legs…
    Imagine their fur all matted and sticky afterward”
    - T-Pain

  10. T-Pain is bringing me to a lower love.

  11. That certainly is T-Pain.

  12. I have ears finely tuned to like hip hop and r ‘n’ b but that was a lot of autotune even for T Pizzle

    • yeah. I’m a really big T-Pain fan (Seriously, everyone youtube the song “Phantom.”) but the auto-tune was like garishly prevalent on this joint. I remember when THR33 RINGZ (!) came out he kept saying “auto-tune’s on the way out.” I guess he is still butthurt about Jay-Z so went in the complete opposite direction. or realized that he could still use it as a gimmick to do shit like get in Bud Light commercials because mainstream America is fucking late to every party ever. I’m gonna go with both.

  13. T-Pain does make a good Halloween costume.

  14. This is what everything people sing in autotune voice sounds like to me: “AUSTRALIA AUSTRALIA AUSTRALIA AUSTRALIA R2D2 AUSTRALIA”

  15. This video contains content from Vevo, who has blocked it from display on this website.

  16. Should I be happy that this is blocked for my country?

  17. I like how auto-tune has evolved to the point where you can only understand 3 out 4 words now. That’s one less word describing some hoe-bag reverse cowgirl’ing him. Thanks, autotune.

    • I think you mean, “some CLASSY LADY reverse cowgirl’ing him.” Because only classy ladies are worth that much wind machine.

    • Ha, I find it funny how there was a missing word in, “You can only understand 3 out [of] 4 words now”.
      Sorry, it’s not supposed to sound like me pointing out a mistake, I just thought it was funny in that context. Haha?

  18. Akon thinks this song is simplistic.

  19. I always say to my parents, “You can meet my girlfriend after the jump.” And then I stand there holding the door closed until they point at me and make a clicking noise.

  20. Is it supposed to sound like this?

  21. I enjoyed this for what it is. Dah, I mean… WOW, T-PAIN HAS HIT A NEW LOW, ETC.

  22. I think my feelings about this video can be summed up perfectly with the scene where the lady fell backwards into a giant pile of trashbags. Right into the trashbag pile with you, T-Pain video!

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