Eat Pray Love trailer, you guys:

Ugh. I understand that women have historically had a difficult time achieving emotional independence and self-actualization due to the oppressive and sexist nature of modern society. The cultural reinforcement of the patriarchy, which demands that a woman define her desires and her self-worth by the needs and expectations of men is a difficult and heavy yoke to shake. So, in that sense, fair enough. But ladies! You don’t have to be an asshole about it! At the very least, maybe you should do the work before getting married or seriously involved in a relationship that you’re not emotionally mature enough to handle. Just as an example. There is something disgustingly…well…MASCULINE about the main character’s (based on Elizabeth Gilbert, who is the worst) self-indulgent scorched Earth approach to getting what she wants. Maybe that’s the point of the movie? To teach us that women can be selfish, self-absorbed assholes in the throes of a petulant midlife crisis just as obnoxiously as any MAN. And if anyone ever actually said “it’s my no carb left behind program” to me in real life, I would punch that person in the face until their thin, anemic blood ran from their sharp, birdlike nose.

I know this movie isn’t intended for me, I know that, but watch Elizabeth Gilbert’s speech from the TED Conference and try to figure out how anything she has ever done has been intended for anyone other than herself. The worst, I tell you! The worst!

Comments (79)
  1. And that jump cut between Julia Roberts successfully zipping up her jeans and the crowd cheering?

    That’s your editor.

  2. So this is just a movie about some white lady going on a boring vacation? Well then watch for my movie “Eat Eat Shit,” it’s about my search for a bathroom at San Diego Comic Con 2006…Summer 2012!

    • LULZ abound.

      To those people (like me) who may be drawn to this movie strictly because it’s travel porn, may I suggest Rick Steves, Rudy Maxa or any of those types of travel programs to fill your void. I hate giving money to self-important women who think we could all learn a thing or two from the fabulous, life-altering vacations they were fortunate enough to take. Gag.

      • to be fair, it’s not the vacation that does it. it’s a vacation to visit yoda-shaped brown people. where there’s brown people, there’s enlightenment. HOLLYWOOD SCIENCE.

    • this is the first comment i want to upvote more than once.

  3. Looks like I’ll have to rethink the name of my mantis movie: Pray, love, eat. Thanks a lot Columbia pictures!

  4. So, she ate a lot, prayed to get skinny again and loved her new, skinny body. That’s what this is about, right?

  5. To me, this feels like the Unitarian church wrote its own movie.

  6. You can actually hear her getting a hysterectomy.

  7. Can someone please remix this trailer with the Watchmen trailer and the Milk trailer already?

  8. They make this, yet no one will take my manuscript for Gorge, Zone, Masturbate.

  9. Wow, “You know how ppl resemble their dogs” Inappropriate.

    Also, I had a palm reader looking at me the other day, but he couldn’t see much cuz there was a gif stamped on my hand.

  10. Waitaminute. Is this a sideways reality created when Juliet detonated Jughead?
    E A T
    P R A Y
    L O V E
    L O S T
    Also
    U G H

  11. The worst thing about EAT PRAY LOVE (maybe? not really) is that OF COURSE there’s a “mens parody version” out now, called DRINK PLAY FUCK (haaaaaa) and of COURSE they’re going to make a “Judd Apatow-style” film out of it.
    This is why I get “rage spirals”

    • I also can’t stand those “I’m am overweight unemployed loser, but hey, everyone loves me!” movies.

      • Yeah, and the most attractive woman in the world is such a bitchy cunt for not accepting me for the fat slob that I am.

        • I guess I was the only person on earth to dislike KNOCKED UP for this same sort of reason; i.e. where everyone else saw a comical and touching take on becoming an adult I saw a public service announcement about killing your dreams, featuring two horror people and their Moonchild spawn. I’m starting to think that maybe the glasses I wear every day are the “indoors” model of those sunglasses from THEY LIVE.

  12. What are you talking about, Gabe? This movie looks hilarious!!! And it’s based on a true story of a woman who went on holiday.

  13. Billy Crudup and James Franco weren’t good enough for her so she had to go to India? I don’t get it.

    • They were too nice and handsome, that’s boring and yuck

    • i am pretty sure i read this book (i was in another country and i just read whatever anyone else had in english to ensure i didn’t forget the language) and they both left her because they were tired of her whiny bullshit.

      although, i don’t honestly think they were that attractive in real life. she looked kind of like a mouse if i recall.

    • No, she had to go to Bali to meet Javier Bardem, the love of her life, DUH.

  14. I love how pissed off her friend looks at 0:39… “OK, here’s your magical advice, white woman. Where’s craft services?”

  15. I know we all agreed to wait until ‘no carb left behind’ to get out our punching fists, but when I heard ‘I want to marvel at something’ I had to start swinging. Sorry.

  16. is it just me or does julia roberts seem angry these days? like, there are no good roles for “older” women in hollywood so she is forced to get her delicates folded by james franco and she is seething inside and it’s written all over her face – so this trailer makes me feel sad instead of happy – which i think i am supposed to be after watching it. it’s probably just me.

  17. and i didn’t think anything could possibly be worse than the book eat pray love. whoops.

  18. I thought Gilbert was like way younger than, say, a Julia Roberts during the events that the book chronicled in a totally not face-meltingly enraging way. (I made it through like 20 pages and wanted some kind of reward.)

  19. As I felt this was totally a white “How Stella Got Her Groove Back” but PG-13, I wanted to hate it, but I can’t get mad when Florence & The Machine is playing in the background! (Also, seeing India brought back fond memories from when I went myself, because I am as white as Macbook)

  20. Amazingly, this is the SECOND film to be made about Elizabeth Gilbert’s life. Because the first (Coyote Ugly) just wasn’t crappy enough!

  21. this book was terrible. this movie will be terrible. pretty much the entire time she is in rome she is in search of the perfect gelato, she has the opportunity to make it with some attractive italian man but she turns them down because of how the gelato is really what she’s looking for (maybe i have this wrong, it’s been a while since i read this piece o’ crap). i can’t believe they made a movie, it basically reads like a self help book for lonely women or something.

  22. score another one for Ryan Adams – making money off of having his 10 year old songs in new movies – all while being “retired!”

  23. After all these years she is still in search of that mystic pizza

  24. The part where they say this is based on ‘the incredible true story’ really gets me. Though I guess it is kind of incredible how selfish she seems?

    • No, it’s incredible that anyone else thinks that dropping god knows how much money on an extended vacation running away from your problems is something that the average person can and should do, and somehow that leads to spiritual healing. That’s what irks me. Only people with money deserve to become whole people! Durr.

      • I confess: I really want to see this movie, just so that I can learn how to turn a year of unemployment into a magical trek across multiple continents. Of course, I’ll need to eat in pricey restaurants the whole time, wear clean clothes, bicycle pleasantly, and have an apartment and source of income waiting for me when I decide I’m done.

        I just want to hunger for life again. Is that so wrong? I’m sure you’re all rooting for me.

        • I will save you the trouble. The answer is get an advance to write about the experience before it happens (you already know it will be magical so this should be an easy sell). Also, it doesn’t hurt to meet a rich businessman in Bali. You’re welcome.

  25. This is one of the few movies that I believe it was entirely based on a true story. I mean, is it just a woman going to three different places in the span of a year with inspirational music playing all the time in the background?

  26. I only got through the first 20 seconds of that trailer before my browser crapped out on me so all I have to judge by is Julia Roberts calling an Asian man “Yoda” to tell that it’s terrible. I’m sure it is.

    But as far as that TED talk goes… granted I don’t have 20 minutes to back up what I’m about to say with, you know, EVIDENCE, but judging from the first 6 minutes, it didn’t seem like a self-involved, self-indulgent speech. I don’t agree with the spiritual direction it was taking, but she seemed like she was making interesting observations about the artist in society. I think that it’s weird that it was on TED and it was more appropriate for a writer’s workshop. But it was just a self-reflective, expressive speech on conceptions of artistry.

    Maybe if I’d read the book I would have more hate towards it, but I just don’t see it.

    • I just watched that whole speech. She talks about the creative process as if she is in touch with some force mightier than herself that the rest of us can barely understand. She uses the word “narcissism” once and then implies that she has overcome it in herself by increased deference to her evident genius. Her history of ideas is inaccurate and its inaccuracy is self-serving; her stories about Tom Waits and the poet are too cute, condescending in tone. She never really wrestles with what Norman Mailer meant by his quote. In short, she presents an interesting problem (the self-destructive tendency of some great artists), but then dumbs it down and finally ignores it so that it merely is the platform from which she can inspire other people to be more like her. She never talks about great artists who have not been self-destructive (Joyce, Twain, Bellow, Morrison — a.k.a. most artists?) and who therefore by their mere existence contradict the need she has established we have for her presence on stage today. Remember, she is here to tell us sincerely why she alone is smarter than 500 years of post-Renaissance history, and in the end, after telling us that “Ole!” means we have witnessed something extraordinary, nearly supernatural, she tells us we all deserve an “Ole!” just for showing up, which instantly renders “Ole!” valueless and tells us that she thinks why bother, the audience isn’t really capable of discerning extraordinary from mundane, we masses are not clued so fully in. No, we’ll never be as great and lucky as she is — so it’s just important that gosh darn it, we keep getting up in the morning. Whatever we need to hear to keep us plugging along! So, self-involved, self-indulgent, yeppers.

      Ugh. Sorry to type so much, but I watched 19 minutes of that thing.

      • i agree that she is the worst, but I get here overall idea and I liked her stories and have a soft spot for mythologies and have also felt that artist woosh before….I don’t think she explored the Norman Mailer quote well at all or even really seemed to grasp it and the “Ole” business was…entymology? but there were…interesting ideas that should not be dismissed offhand and could lead to further discussion. Granted she only had 20 minutes.

        That Mailer quote piqued my interest quite a bit. He has also said that ‘writing books is the closet man comes to childbearing.’ In that vein, creation should kill you a little bit. In some creatures it is their last act. It takes effort and sweat and time and so much of yourself; if it was easy you wouldn’t get any joy from it…though does one get joy from it? When I was a painter the moment I finished whatever project I would hate it. I resented the suffering…the waste. I mean, what did I get out of it? This piece of crap? It looks like a bloody sausage. Gross. You get solace. That thing is out of you forever…though you remain connected to it because it is apart of you because I’m hammering this childbearing metaphor into the ground. And, over time, the memories of the hardship will fade and you’ll want to create anew… And now I’m as ridiculous and pretentious as she is… The point is, I have a little creature that tells me what to write, what to paint and what to burn. I am a schizophrenic.

        • No, i’d sooner say narcissistic.

        • Mr. H, you put her points better than she did! And I agree! I accept the notion that creativity is not completely under our control, and will often result in failure (or what looks like failure to us). I just can’t take how she approaches it in the least challenging, most self-serving and cute way possible. She could have talked for 20 minutes about those Mailer quotes alone — and then we might have gotten somewhere past “I’m on stage!” Because my own feeling is that creative endeavors will *always* be failures in some respect. Especially for Elizabeth Gilbert. But this went all too unsaid.

  27. i’ve seen chicks on the subway reading this book every day since i moved to new york 2 years ago. i thought it was one of those self-help books for stupid girls like “he’s just not that into you,” but sappier. it’s a bit of an upgrade that it’s a memoir for stupid girls instead.

    thanks for clearing that up, videogum!

  28. I wonder which indie band sold out near the end of the trailer, letting this movie use the song’s positive uplifting sound to convey that this movie is hip and cool.

  29. “Your underwear, my Queen…” said the soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, and long-time nemesis of Spiderman.

    It’s like her sense of self is so tenuous that with Billy Crudup she only ever *pretended* to like scrambled eggs, and with James Franco she only ever *pretended* to like fried eggs, when really the only type of eggs she ever liked were Eggs Benedict all along. :(

  30. Fuuuuck this movie, uuuuugggghhhhh. Other cultures, brown people cultures, do not exist just to teach you self-indulgent life lessons.

    The only upside to my mother country being run by a military regime is that Julia Roberts can’t pop by to find her Yoda.

  31. Ya, FUCK stability and and comfort and wealth. I’m gunna go do some soul searching, hey wait a minute… I’m a boring selfish shrew! Oh no!

  32. but does she get the guy at the end?

  33. my best friend’s mid life crisis!

    this movie looks stupid but I actually watched that lecture by the author and it was pretty good. Reset button!

  34. This looks really great, can’t wait to watch it.

    (It doesn’t and I can.)

  35. I am really hoping that when she “ends the year in Bali” the movie ends with her being caught in the October 2002 terrorist attack..
    I loved that ending in REMEMBER ME.

  36. I was kind of digging the trailer, and then it lasted too long. Then, I clicked the link to see the author and I couldn’t stand it! Oh the horror of ugly dress and slacks combo!

  37. I read this book for a book club, and I hated its GUTS.

    Of course it would be Julia Roberts playing the world’s most self-obsessed person. It’s too perfect! I’m always so nervous when they make a movie of a book that something might get left out, so here’s hoping they are able to accurately convey her complete obliviousness to any of the crippling poverty she runs into during her magical journey into her own soul! It’s like, SOOOO sad how emaciated that little boy is, but I can’t focus on that since I’m TOTALLY bummed that I cheated on my husband. Oh well, maybe I’ll find a handsome well fed guy on the next leg of the trip.

  38. as a selfish, self-absorbed asshole in the throes of a petulant (and seemingly perennial) pre-midlife crisis i find this movie very easy. Like, if i go watch it instead of actually doing something maybe i’ll gain the ‘brown people wisdom’ by proxy! Wouldn’t that be the best? Then I wouldn’t be so sad! and I would find it easier to get out of bed everyday! and I’ll do what I love and love what I do and everything will be rainbows and chocolate FOR ALWAYS!

  39. GABE. Listen, I get your hate for Elizabeth Gilbert, but before you condemn her, you should read The Last American Man. It’s the one reason this post makes me upset. .. and I hated Eat Pray Love, and I agree that this movie looks terrible.

    Seriously, I know there’s not a lot of earnestness on Videogum, but I can’t recommend it enough. It’s kind of like Into the Wild if Chris McCandless wasn’t naive and self-obsessed. It probably says a lot about Gilbert that her best book is a biography of someone else, but it also proves that she’s a talented and engaging writer when she gets past the self-obsession.

  40. Oh Franco, no.

    This trailer makes me want Aziz Ansari to make good on his claim that he directed and starred in the movie Face Punch. Co-star: this movie’s face.

  41. Thanks to whichever editor picked the music for the opening of that trailer. “Oh my god, whatever, etc.” totally sums up how i feel about it.

  42. So it’s a film of self-discovery? And her true self is liking to take expensive vacations to tourist meccas. Got it.

    • You know, this book is written for well-off selfish and petty people who can’t stand the emotional responsibility and demands of being in a relationship but want to avoid guilt through imagining a quest of self-discovery, but it’s audience will be girls who get dumped a lot and need to feel like they don’t need men.

      My point? You make it for me!

  43. I guess just dumping guys and hogging it up in new york would make her look like a selfish pig, but hogging it up in bali makes it seem like she’s looking for her “true self”.

  44. dude, why is it so selfish that she went on vacation? i was going to go on vacation to hawaii this month but i guess i’d better stay home because i forgot that vacations are self-indulgent.

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