This is a promotional picture for the new Animal Planet show, Mike Tyson Races Some Pigeons, 2010: The Show. It’s a new photo of Mike Tyson kissing a pigeon, not to be confused with archival photos of Mike Tyson with a pigeon. Now, of course, we know what Mike Tyson is thinking. He’s thinking, “Don’t forget to breathe. You need to breathe to live. Whoops, I was thinking about remembering to breathe and that made me forget to breathe. I’m breathing now though, I think. Hi, bird!” But what is the bird thinking?

The winner will receive special recognition in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. LET’S GET READY TO COMMMMMMMENT! And a special congratulations to Mike Tyson, who finds himself the subject of the Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest for a historic SECOND time! Way to go, convicted rapist champ! (Photo via DailyWhat.)

Comments (145)
  1. Mmmm, tastes like that one guy’s ear. I pity the fool who races my pigeons!

  2. I wanna eat your children.

  3. Stop eating people’s old ears, pigeon! have some self respect ! Don’t you know you can fly?

  4. “I’ll race you ’til you love me, faggot!”

  5. Pidgeon just grateful that mother nature did not give her ears.

  6. “Crap!” thought the pigeon. “Who knows what kind of diseases this guy has? He’s insane!”

  7. I wish I weren’t Mike Tyson’s bong.

  8. Mike – “I feel as if I’ve been unfairly pigeon-holed as violent madman. At least you can see me as the loving man I am, Frederico.”

    Frederico – “Coooo.”

  9. Mike Tyson’s Pige-Out

  10. Pigeon: “No.”

  11. I’m starting to think that Mike Tyson is actually kind of ridiculous.

  12. The softer side of Mike (which somehow makes him look even crazier).

  13. “Mr Pigeon, I have become, um, a new man. I witnessed the power of God. And I want to tell, Mr Pigeon, that I do love you and you want to come back here again, you can talk to me.”
    Mike Tyson, moments before slamming a door on the pigeon in a rage

  14. my brains the size of a pea and I still don’t think that a face tattoo is a good idea.

  15. Mike Tyson (right).

  16. When doves cry tribal tears

  17. “Oh yes, Mike Tyson, I will get those bread crumbs in your mouth.”

  18. When Mike Tyson isn’t engaging in rape, blood sport, or cannabilism he enjoys the simpiler things in life. Like eating this pigeon.

  19. A bird in the…mouth…is worth…why is that bird in his mouth again?

  20. “Its its gross and unsanitary to use a pigeon’s beak, my beak, to scrawl a new tribal tattoo on your inner lip, Mike. What did ol’ Pidgy here ever do to deserve this?

    Pigeon gods, why have you forsaken me?”

  21. You see this hat, Pigeon? This is what happens to animals who LOSE MY RACES.

  22. Holy shit–the tattoo on his face is in the shape of the pigeon he’s holding. We’re through the looking glass, people.

  23. TLC’s new show, I Didn’t know I Was Pregnant starring Mike Tyson


  25. mydaughter'sname69  |   Posted on Mar 16th, 2010 +10

    Pigeon: “Oh Pigeon God, please let me be kidnapped by Ed Helms, Bradley Cooper, and Zach Galifianakis.”

  26. I’m a teenage girl bird in love with a man who loves me but will also violently lash out at any second. MLIT.

  27. You crazy for this one, Mike!

    Seriously, though, are you ok?

  28. Why do birds

    suddenly appear

    every time

    you are near?

  29. The pigeon will need religion! Tyson’s might will hinder its flight! This brawl will enthrall! [/Don King]

  30. I saw your tribal tattoo (ON YOUR FACE) and threw up in your mouth a little.

  31. Mike Tyson rounds first base.

  32. Bird: “Why am I named Robin Givens?”

    Mike: “I drooled on your leg.”

    Barbara Walters (offscreen): “You dwooled on her weg?”

  33. Dear Pigeon,
    Love, Mike

  34. “You want it to be one way, racing pigeon. But it’s the other way.”

  35. Well, in Whoville they say that the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day!

  36. Mike Tyson Confuses Homing Pigeon For Crack Pipe

  37. He had, mmm mmm, kisses sweeter Than swine.

  38. You can see the fear in it’s little pigeon eyes.

  39. I can’t think of a funny or witty caption but who here saw Modern Family last week? FLYZA MINNELLI!!!

  40. Birdemic: Shock and Awwww

  41. The cure for Avian Flu; Mike Tyson frenchie.

  42. After their 30 minute bonding session, Tyson and his new friend spent the afternoon sitting on people’s patios and crapping on their furniture. The pigeon’s children remarked that they had never seen their father act in such a way.

  43. “Mike Tyson sold his teeth and replaced them with McDonald’s french fries, the pigeon is loving it”

  44. Where do I light it?

  45. And that my friends was the source of the bird flu epidemic

  46. I think the downvoter troll is back, you guys :(

  47. This is how you get a goooooood hit.

  48. Mike Tyson continues his downward spiral to obscurity.

  49. My agent says if i just deal with this bullshit for a few seasons, I’ll make it on Planet Earth.

  50. “I’m gonna race you ’til you love me, faggot.”

  51. He’s going to eat my children, sunny side up.

  52. Mike Tyson, freshly named creative director at Just Born, unveils the new, more realistic Peeps just in time for Easter.

  53. Mike Tyson unsuccessfully attempts to regurgitate his food into a pigeons mouth.

  54. “we both want this.”

  55. “Well, Mistah Pigeon, I alweady took down a Wobin, so you should be vewy easy.”

  56. “Skulduggery”

  57. One flew over the cuckoo’s nest.

  58. “Great pic from the Haiti benefit last night.”

  59. Mike Tyson (right) demonstrating the most rational thing he’s ever done.

  60. I’m going to pluck you ’til you love me, f*ggot!

  61. “Where are the ears!!”

  62. Pigeon: “Stupid lamp…”

  63. Go, Mordecai!

  64. Is pigeon-rape the same as rape-rape?

    Rape jokes, much like tribal face tattoos, are always in fashion.

  65. Run Like The Wind!

  66. Pigeon: “Nice lip…FOR ME TO POOP ON!”

  67. “Mike Tyson Races Some Pigeons, 2012: The Show”

  68. “And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.”

  69. No one will ever know what this bird is thinking. It only speaks pigeon pidgin. (Sorry.)

  70. These ain’t yo daddy’s tampons

  71. Pigeon: “Better than the vomit I usually eat off the sidewalk…but not by much”

  72. Photo caption: Sippy cup for the Devil.

  73. Hey Mike, want some regurgitated ear?

  74. “Fuck it, I’m just gonna poop on his hand.”

  75. Wait…I already played this game. Damn.

  76. I’mma fly you ’til you love me, Pigeon.

  77. “I know it’s a bird, Mike, I’m on the phone!”
    “It walked on my pillow!”

  78. Videogum, I’m trying to eat here! (Please, nobody call attention to the fact that I am eating alone in front of a computer screen at 10PM)

  79. Salmonella-ella-ella-ella-ay-ay-ay-ay-aaay.

  80. “I would eat you if i weren’t a vegitation”.

  81. Tyson was convicted on the rape charge on February 10, 1992 after the jury deliberated for nearly 10 hours.

  82. I’ll be your stupid champ.

  83. Flying Rats + Face Tats = True Love

  84. “One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like a infantile retard.”

  85. Pigeon: “I never thought it would end this way.”

  86. Be honest guys, $50 for a single Ugg boot is quite a deal.

  87. BIrd: “What your trying to do is undermine my intelligence as a pigeon.”

    (Remember SNL…. what up with that?….)

  88. mydaughter'sname69  |   Posted on Mar 17th, 2010 +1

    “I guess I’m a pigeon racist.”
    - Mike Tyson

  89. With a single breath, Mike Tyson inflates a peep to life-size.

  90. this is the first time mike tyson has baby-birded another living creature with it involving a prostitute and bottle of jose curevo

  91. Am I about to become you next dead animal hat?

    (I always get to the party late….)

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